The Inbetweeners Movie

The Inbetweeners Movie is a is a 2011 British coming-of-age teen adventure comedy film based on the E4 sitcom The Inbetweeners. It was written by series creators Damon Beesley and Iain Morris and directed by Ben Palmer

Dialogue

Will: (voiceover) I'm case you were wondering, that was me with my father. And this is where I live - not with him, but with my mother. It's a long story. Well, not that long. He snagged the work experience girl and then left us. So, just clichéd, really. Plus, it only happened two years ago, which means I don't even get the luxury of blaming my various personality defects on their divorce. Anyway, that's how I ended up here - the very definition of suburbia. Safe, comforting, stifling, boring - and I couldn't wait to fucking leave. Maybe that's unfair, as they do say that you never know what goes on behind the net curtains of suburbia. Although, in my friend Jay Cartwright's case, you can have a pretty good guess.

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Will: (voiceover) As we entered our new home, wondering if our human rights had been breached, I couldn't help thinking a shit on the floor might have cheered the place up a bit.

(Will opens the fridge door but it is nearly empty and he closes the door. Simon opens the sofa bed and unfolds the mattress.)

Jay and Neil: Shotgun this room!

Simon: Shotgun the sofa bed!

Will: Well, where am I gonna sleep, then?!

Simon: Not really my problem.

(In the bathroom)

Neil: What's that? Is that the bath?

Jay: Course it's not the bath, you fucking idiot. There's the bath there! That's the...kids' toilet.

Neil: Is it?

Jay: Yes!

Neil: Why's it got a plughole and a tap, then?

Jay: Cos it's for checking your kid's shit before you flush it.

Neil: Ugh, that's grim!

Jay: Yeah, I know. That's the Continentials, innit? They're dirty.

Simon: See? That looks nice!

Will: I'm not sleeping in a fucking bathtub for two weeks, Simon! We'll have to share the sofa bed.

Jay: (High-pitched) Ooh, 'ello! (Normal voice) Right, well, while you two decide who gets first go on each other's cocks, I'm getting ready and getting out there. The gash isn't gonna fuck itself, you know.

Will: Charming(!)

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Jay: Feed the pony.

Simon: Yeah, OK, I'll introduce us, but we've all got to go over there.

Will: Great.

Jay: You fucking sad cases. You don't just walk up to a girl in a club and introduce yourself! That's creepy. Clubs have different rules, you dick. Look, you dance over near them, make the eyes, then get 'em to dance with you.

Simon: Really?!

Will: Annoyingly, that does sound right.

Jay: Thank you! And then, after a bit, you stand up to them, pretend to slap 'em and fuck 'em up the arse.

Will: That might be a bit much.

Simon: Yeah, I dunno.

Neil: Oh, fucking hell, I'll do it.

Simon: What about Nicole?

Neil: It's only dancing, she likes my dancing. Stick with me, you'll be fine.

Will: Right, then, Si.

Simon: Looks like the holiday starts here.

Cast

• Simon Bird as Will McKenzie
• James Buckley as Jay Cartwright
• Blake Harrison as Neil Sutherland
• Joe Thomas as Simon Cooper
• Emily Head as Carli D'Amato
• Laura Haddock as Alison
• Tamla Kari as Lucy
• Jessica Knappett as Lisa
• Lydia Rose Bewley as Jane