The Crew (2000 film)

The Crew is a 2000 black comedy crime film about four retired mobsters who plan one last crime to save their retirement home.

Directed by Michael Dinner. Written by Barry Fanaro.

You're never too old to work for the mob.taglines

Bobby Bartellemeo

[narrating] Miami Beach. Used to be the average age around here was, like, 82. And then that broad Madonna decides that this is the place to be, and the next thing you know, everywhere you turn, it's women with big breasts, men with big breasts. Breasts are very big here.

Here is where the problem started, you see, after sex and this is something we never knew - Ha ha, why would we? Tony "The Mouth" Donato, a guy quieter an inverted Trappist monk, like to talk.

Joey "Bats" Pistella: I thought you said the good times were gonna last forever.

Bobby Bartellemeo: I thought we'd be dead by now.

Pepper Lowenstein: You torched my house?

Mike "The Brick" Donatelli: We had to make it look like an accident.

Pepper Lowenstein: Oh my God! That house was going to be featured in Better Home & Gardens.

Bobby Bartellemeo: Well, you can still be in Gardens.

Bobby Bartellemeo: [trying to explain his past] Olivia...

Olivia Neal: Forgeta 'bout it.

Mike "The Brick" Donatelli: It was like painting a portrait, like creating a beautiful work of art. Like, uh, Leonardo what-the-fuck?

Joey "Bats" Pistella: The guy who did the Mona Lisa?

Mike "The Brick" Donatelli: Yeah, yeah. That's him.

Joey "Bats" Pistella: That's a good drawing...

Mike "The Brick" Donatelli: It's a very good drawing...

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The Crew (2000 film)