Re tom robbins: the tom robbins book was publsished in 1994, whereas the ice weasels quote in life in hell dates prior to 1990 (having been published in _the big book of hell_ 1990). Without further evidence, we should conclude that Robbins got the quote from Groening and not the other way around.
- Yes, I'll sign your doll. I like to give my autograph to anyone, anytime, anywhere. But why be happy with just an autograph? How about an original sketch or a snippet of my hair? Don't forget to pull on the beard; they say it's good luck!
- From The Simpsons
- People are throwing panties at you. They certainly never do that at my book-signings.
- On playing in The Rock Bottom Remainders
- If at first you don't succeed, give it up. It isn't worth the pain.
- I pretend to listen….what more does she want?
- Variant: What does she want from me? A guy can only pretend to listen so much.
- I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again
- Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.
- God often gives nuts to toothless people.
- My tastes are much more obscure than you think. The other day, this reporter asked me who my favorite Spice Girl was and I was like, 'I dunno, but ask me about percussion ensembles from Senegal'.
- I pledge impertinence to the flag waving, of the unindicted co-conspirators of America, and to the Republicans for which I can't stand, one abomination, underhanded fraud, indefensible, with Liberty and Justice... Forget it.
Life in HellEdit
Life in Hell is a comic strip series, much of which has been collected into a series of books
- All my friends say I should leave him because he's mean, angry, and abusive. I need to get some new friends.
- Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?
- He's very sensitive to my moods. I just wish he didn't cringe so much.
- Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.
- Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
- Variant: Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come.
- The longer it takes me to find Mr. Right, the more he's going to pay for keeping me waiting.
- We're getting on each other's nerves too much. I think we need to spend more time together.
- When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
- "Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngsters"; Variant: When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.