Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time
Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time (also known as Sly Cooper: Thieves Through Time in France and Sly Cooper: Chasing Time in Germany; previously under the title as Sly 4(?)) is the 4th title of the Sly Cooper series of platform stealth video games. It's for the PS3 and the Vita, and an 8-year sequel to Honor Among Thieves.
- The name's Sly. Sly Cooper.
- [after Sly activates the train whistles to blow into Toothpick's ears] YEEOOWWCH!! That hurts my ears! WHO TURNED ON THEM BLASTED WHISTLES?!? [grows large in size]
Paris Prologue: I Smell a RatEdit
- Sly [narrating]: I should probably just start at the beginning. The name's Sly. Sly Cooper, and I'm a thief... from a long line of thieves. In fact, thieving is the family business, and business was good. Although until recently, I consider myself retired. Having hung up my mask and cane, I was enjoying life on the other side of the law... in the company of a certain lovely INTERPOL agent named... Carmelita Fox. She and I had a history which generally involved her trying to lock me up. So, I should mention our current situation was only possible because she thought I had amnesia. I didn't. It was great to finally enjoy each other's company without a Shock Pistol being involved, and we quickly put the past behind us, but as time went on, the old itch came back and I knew that I needed to pull a heist. I should also mention that as a master thief, I only steal from other thieves. So it took me a while, but I finally found what I was looking for. My target was an upstart art mogul, a real hotshot collector. He seemed respectable and even opened a new museum, but I could smell a rat. Reliable sources told me that he was dealing in black market antiques worth millions. So I felt he should share the wealth. I was working on a plan when one night, as if on cue, Bentley showed up. Bentley was the brains of our operation, the mastermind. We grew up in the same orphanage where we bonded over stealing cookies, our very first heist, and we've been best friends and partners ever since. We haven't seen each other for a while, but I knew immediately that something was up.
- Sly [narrating]: Bentley had been enjoying his time off too, building a new lab from scratch with his girlfriend and fellow tech wiz, Penelope. [Penelope chuckles] She'd join the team on our last caper and the two of them had really hit it off. Apparently, they just finished work on a top-secret project when Penelope had simply vanished. Bentley was worried sick. He searched frantically, but found nothing. Then, he noticed something that completely stunned him. In his spare time, Bentley had been researching the Thievius Raccoonus - the master thieves handbook passed down through the Cooper family for generations. Its pages overflowing with the exploits and secret techniques of my esteemed ancestors. Only now, those pages weren't so full. In fact, they were disappearing right before Bentley's eyes. Realizing there was no time to waste, he gathered his gear and raced off to Paris.
- Sly [narrating]: The first thing Bentley did was track down Murray, the third in our trio. Murray was our enforcer, the muscle… and the guy who'd eaten all the cookies we stole back in our orphanage days. Through the years, the 3 of us had become an unbeatable team, and we were more like a family now than a gang. Murray had been living his dream on the pro driving circuit, where his van had become famous… or rather infamous for all the crashes he'd caused. Eventually, he was unable to find a sponsor due to his high insurance premiums, and he moved into demolition derby, where he remained undefeated. When Bentley showed up, however, Murray dropped everything to help out. Especially when Bentley explained that his van was the key to the whole plan. With Carmelita distracted by a new assignment, I took the opportunity to slip away and met up with the guys at our old Paris hideout. Bentley launched into one of his elaborate presentations and I saw the whole scary picture. Someone or something was literally erasing Cooper history. Then, to our amazement, Bentley revealed that he already had the solution - time travel. It turns out his top-secret project was constructing a time machine, and now he modified the design to fit into Murray's van. We were going to travel back in time, stop those responsible, and fix the damage they'd done. Bentley explained the only catch was that in order to travel to a particular time, the machine required an object from that era. We knew from the changes to the Thievius Raccoonus that our first stop was Feudal, Japan. So here we were, about to steal a priceless 17th-century samurai dagger from the same museum I've been casing. Funny how things work out sometimes.
- Bentley: Okay, you both remember the plan, right?
- Murray: Of course! My mind is like a steel cap!
- Sly: Uh, that's "trap", big guy, and everybody relax! We've been over it 1,000,000,000 times. What could possibly go wrong?
- Bentley: Famous last words! Look, we're only gonna get one shot at this, so we can't mess up!
- Sly: Alright, no messing up around. Now, stop worrying! This is going to be a piece of cake. I'll see you both inside. Now let's get going!
- Sly: Hey, Bentley. Was truck surfing part of Murray's entrance strategy?
- Bentley: Of course not. Murray's supposed to enter through the back alleyway. Why'd you ask?
- Sly: Uh… no reason. Anyway, it's looks like he's in passion now.
- Sly [narrating]: Well, what else can I say about Carmelita? As you can see, our relationship is... complicated, and I just succeeded in upgrading it to hazardous. I certainly wasn't expecting her to crash the party. She'd been so busy with her latest case, I'd never thought she had her eye on me. In fact, I'd kinda been counting on it… but then, I should've known better than to underestimate Inspector Carmelita Fox. As much as she'd like having fun, Carmelita was serious about her police work… and now, I had a lot of explaining to do, but the plan was in motion, and there was no stopping now, even though I was thinking I'd need the time machine to patch things up with Carmelita. Before the heist, we'd recruited our disco-loving, scuba diving friend, Dimitri Lousteau, to look after the Thievius Raccoonus. Because it was irreplaceable and the only guide we had, it was far too risky to take the book through time with us. Bentley had even invented a communication device to allow us to contact Dimitri no matter where or when we travel. It was a perfect situation since it allowed him to update us on any changes to the book while eliminating our exposure to his... fashion critiques. Everything was happening so fast. The past few days were just a blur, but as we howled through the time vortex, I realized we were in for a very long trip.
- Sly [narrating]: We needed to locate Rioichi Cooper - master ninja and master chef. According to the Cooper Clan history, Rioichi Cooper was actually the inventor of sushi. After creating this delectable dish, he opened a sushi restaurant, which while very prosperous, also provided a perfect cover for a ninja. When we got to Japan, it was obvious something was very wrong. What should've been a peaceful village, was more like a heavily patrolled military base. We located Rioichi's sushi restaurant, only to find it shut down and under guard. Things got worse when Bentley discovered that Rioichi was locked up in a new high security jail, allegedly for serving bad sushi to the shogun. It all sounded like a pretty tough piece of fish to swallow. We needed to get to the bottom of the situation, and the first order of business was getting Rioichi out of prison.
- Sly [narrating]: After rescuing Rioichi, we returned to the hideout. Unfortunately, there wasn't much time for "family reunions". We needed to figure out what was going on and fast. Rioichi confirmed that the source of the trouble was the tiger we tracked in the village, someone calling himself El Jefe. After some more database digging, Bentley was able to uncover his INTERPOL file. El Jefe had an impressive record. Over the years, he had taken over dozens of small countries around the globe. Usually, for the highest bidder. He was a ruthless mercenary and military strategist of the highest order. In fact, he once boasted that he could overthrow a country commanding only 3 blind mice... armed with plastic spoons. According to his file, this guy had mysteriously vanished a while back just as the authorities were closing in. Well, we had found him and we needed to take him down. It looked like we were in for a tough battle, so we decided to start with Rioichi's Sushi Shop.
- Sly [narrating]: El Jefe was defeated, disgraced and delivered to the cops, but it was a hollow victory. I failed to get back Rioichi's cane, and we still had no idea who was really behind this whole thing. One thing was for sure - it was somebody powerful enough to have his own private army. We contacted Dimitri for an update on the Thievius Raccoonus, and it looked like "Tennessee Kid" Cooper needed our help next. That meant we needed to travel back to the 1880s. Luckily, one of the goons that took Rioichi's cane had dropped what looked like an old sheriff's badge. Bentley had been trying to figure out where it might be from, but now, it all made sense. After sampling the badge, Bentley was able to calibrate the time machine. As we prepared to make the jump back to the Old West, I found myself wondering how Carmelita was doing.
Go West Young RaccoonEdit
- Sly [narrating]: We arrived in the Wild West looking for my ancestor - "Tennessee Kid" Cooper, a legendary outlaw whose bank robberies were some of the most daring in Cooper lore. When we arrived, it took some time to locate him, but we eventually found him... in prison. His arrest was the handiwork of the local sheriff who had celebrated by posting his own picture all over town. Talk about an ego. We needed to bust Tennessee out of jail… but after some furious calculation, Bentley determined that the best way to do that... was from the inside. For the first time in my career, I was gonna have to let the law catch me. This could be a real challenge.
- Sly [narrating]: Somehow, we had managed to survive and make it back to the hideout. Once there, Tennessee gave us the lowdown. How he had been planning the bank heist that should've gone down in Cooper lore as his masterpiece, only to have a mysterious new sheriff arrest him before he even reached the bank. Curiously, the robbery still occurred and the bank's gold was stolen. Tennessee was charged even though he was already in prison, and the gold was never recovered. Of course, he had a strong suspicion it was Sheriff Toothpick himself that has stolen the gold and framed him, and after a little research, there was no doubt he was right. Bentley was able to uncover plenty of information about the "Sheriff". Although he change his appearance somewhat, Toothpick was a 2 bit gangster from present day Eastern Europe. According to his file, he'd grown up loving 2 things - gold and cowboy movies. He eventually specialized in gold robberies, and for a while, had masterminded some of the largest scores around the world, then he abruptly vanished. The word was he had always thought of himself as a gunslinger and it looked like he had found a way to make that a reality. The guy was a real loose cannon. We'd have to watch our backs if we were gonna steal back the missing gold and restore "Tennessee Kid" Cooper's reputation as the greatest outlaw of the Old West.
- Tennessee: Hmm, that's not good - looks like Toothpick rustled himself a pretty lady!
- Bentley: Sweet jumping jackrabbits! That's no lady, that's Carmelita! What is she doing here?
- Tennessee: You know her?
- Bentley: I'm afraid so! Something is very wrong here, Tennessee, but all quantum physics aside, we have to rescue her! Nobody can get there faster than you! I'll grab Sly and Murray, and we'll meet you with the van. Just get going!
- Carmelita [narrating]: When I saw that arrogant little... no-good... lying... OOH! I should have tied his mangy tail around his neck! I should have blasted that smug look right off his face! I... I, I… [sigh] I should probably just finish my story. After the Cooper Gang escaped at the museum, I decided to follow my nose and take a look around. I've been investigating the trading of stolen antiquities on the black market, but I never guessed that 2-faced ringtail was involved. Then, as I turned a corner, I was stunned to see a huge stash of stolen treasure right there in the museum, and even more shocking, Cyrille Le Paradox himself unloading them! I couldn't believe it! The billionaire art collector and museum patron was behind this? I was so surprised that by the time I reacted, his goons already had me covered. Then, that slimy sawed-off runt had me thrown into some vile machine, and the next thing I knew, I was playing cowboys and criminals. The Old West, time travel!? It was completely Loco! Sure, Le Paradox had done some time in his youth, but he'd been squeaky clean ever since, and INTERPOL had never considered him a suspect. There were rumors about the source of his wealth, but nothing had ever been proven. Now I knew I'd solve that mystery, and of course, Cooper and his little friends were involved somehow. Why was I not surprised? [Toothpick laughs] The fleabag tried to feed me some story about having to rob the museum to save the future. I was done listening to that liar! I needed to get back to Paris. But that toad, Toothpick, had stolen Murray's van and Bentley's time machine along with it! I finally cracked the case and now I was stuck in this lousy dustbowl with the Cooper Gang. I don't know what made me angrier, not being able to bust the lowlife skunk or being trapped here with that lying ringtail. [sigh] The only bearable thing about this whole mess was that at least Cooper's ancestor was a gentleman.
- Sly [narrating]: As the van hurtled into the ravine, it felt like we were in slow motion. The thought that our adventures were over flashed through my mind as we braced for the crash. Then in desperation, Bentley grabbed the closest thing at hand, Murray's Australian fossil necklace and used it in the time machine. He saved our lives, but now we had no idea where we were headed. We held on as the van was sucked through the wormhole, tumbling around like a cork in the ocean. Who knew where we'd land… and more importantly... WHEN?
Clan of the Cave RaccoonEdit
- Sly [narrating]: Things weren't going very well. We'd landed somewhere from the looks of it. Prehistoric. I was slightly concerned when Bentley broke out the dinosaur repellent, but that was the least of my worries. The crash landing had damaged the van so the time machine wasn't working properly. Not only was traveling back to Paris impossible, but we couldn't even raise Dimitri on the transceiver. Also, we still had no idea how Le Paradox had manage to develop his own time machine and that was a scary thought. Carmelita was still really hot about things. I just wanted a chance to explain, to tell her how sorry I was for getting her mixed up in all of this. Before we had a chance to talk, she stormed off in a rage. I tried going after her, but... I figured that wasn't the best idea. Our conversation would have to wait, at least until she holsters that pistol. We decided the first order of business was to figure out where and when we were… and then, how we're going to repair the van. Otherwise, we'd have to get used to living in a cave, permanently.
- Sly [narrating]: We got Bob safely back to the hideout, where everyone took an immediate liking to him… and he took an immediate interest in our gadgets. While he was busy, Bentley provided the background on his former captor. The guy's name was Grizz, and he had made his fame in the art world. Once a common street thug, he'd been thrust into the limelight when he was plucked from the gutter and made famous by a prominent pop artist. Grizz's primitive artwork was hailed as a brilliant new style called "paleo-graffiti", and for a while, he enjoyed his celebrity status. His fame was short-lived, however, when people realized his art was really just... bad. Resentful, he returned to his criminal roots, quickly becoming the top art thief on INTERPOL's Most Wanted list. One of Carmelita's main targets, it was now clear how he managed to evade her capture for so long. After we pried Bob away from Bentley's tools, he explained how Grizz had appeared and started harvesting all the pterodactyl eggs in the area, eliminating his role as food provider for the tribe and greatest egg thief ever. Depressed, he'd gone into a slump… and gotten out of shape… which allowed Grizz to capture him and take the new "tool" he'd invented to steal eggs. [Grizz evil laughs] So, it looked like the very first Cooper cane had been stolen as well... Great. We may have rescued Bob from the arena, but we still needed to find out what sort of operation Grizz was running for Le Paradox and why it involved stealing all the eggs. We also needed Bob's help to find the rest of the van parts and that meant we had to get him back into climbing shape... fast.
- Carmelita [narrating]: I caught up with the ringtail to give him the intel I gathered on Grizz. Half of me still wanted to slap the smirk off his face, but the other half wanted to talk. Working on my own these past few days have given me time to think and I'd realized some things. Sly may have been lying to me the whole time in Paris, but I'd lied to myself as well. In my heart, I knew something was up, but I didn't want to admit it. I wanted to believe he'd changed. That maybe, I changed him, but Sly was who he was, and I had to accept that. Although this crazy time traveling business has given me a new perspective on that too. In the past, I always chased Sly, arriving on the scene after the fact, but now that I fought alongside him... with Bentley, Murray and his ancestors, I had to admit a newfound respect. We aren't really so different. We both fight for justice, we just do it on opposite sides of the law. The question is can I live with that? Honestly, I don't know, but for now, perhaps it's enough that I see things more clearly and that we have a common enemy in Le Paradox. 'Cause I am not going anywhere until I put that stinking weasel behind bars!
- The Grizz: Oh, snap! What have we here? It's a pink nightmare!
- The Murray: Trust me, Pal. You ain't dreaming
- Grizz: I'm tired of you Cooper chumps, Le Paradox, everybody! All I ever really wanted to do is skate. That's right?!
- Murray: Uh, okay…
- Grizz: No, no, no, no, no! It ain't okay! You know why The Grizz loves skating? It's clean, Man. It's like, just me and the ice. No complications, no hassles, no worries. Ever since I was a little kid, a little cub, it's the only time I truly feel free… and now, you Cooper punks roll in and you're gonna spoil my dream? Well, it ain't goin' down like that! You better check the script, Fat Man, 'cause The Grizz is about to show you how to skate. [snaps his medal in 2 and puts it on his feet for makeshift ice skates, and he and Murray battle]
- Sly [narrating]: Carmelita had cooled off... a bit, but she hadn't forgiven me yet, and I couldn't blame her. The last thing she wanted to do was join up with a bunch of thieves. Something that went against everything she stood for. I could tell it was a tough decision, but in the end, she knew it was probably her only shot at busting Le Paradox. Dimitri was happy to finally hear from us... as he'd been worried "his bros were warping their faces off"... whatever that meant. He pointed us to our next destination - Medieval England, and as it turned out, Grizz's crown was the perfect object to get us there, so although we'd only uncovered this Ice Age Scheme by accident, luck was definitely on our side, and we left in a confident mood. Ready to tackle whatever fate had in store for us.
Of Mice and MechsEdit
- Sly [narrating]: We've come to merry old England to locate my ancestor - Sir Galleth Cooper, a gallant knight who founded the Cooper Order. Unfortunately, what we found was anything but regal. Sir Galleth had been reduced to performing in a local circus as a jester complete with ridiculous costume. The villainous stench of Le Paradox hung over the entire area. We didn't know what was going on yet, but we knew it wasn't good. To make matters worse, we still had no information about Penelope. Bentley wasn't letting it show, but I knew deep down, he was pretty worried. Hopefully, we would find some answers soon, but first, we had to go to the circus.
- Sly [narrating]: Once Sir Galleth calmed down, we returned to the hideout and got the whole story. The surrounding area was held in the iron grip of a fearsome Black Knight. His origin was a mystery, but his power and technological might was impressive. He'd even created a new type of robotic guard which patrolled tirelessly and without mercy. Galleth had been captured when he tried to take on these guards single-handedly. Bentley searched every criminal database in existence, but couldn't find a thing. All we had were more questions. Had Le Paradox somehow made an ally from this time period, and how had this Black Knight managed to create those mechanical monsters? When we explained to Sir Galleth who we really were, I don't know if he believed us or not, but it didn't matter. He just started ranting about, "Taking the fight to the enemy and restoring the Cooper Honor!". Needless to say, the guy was a little intense. Until we figure out what was going on, I can see we were gonna have to keep him on a short leash.
- Sly [narrating]: When Bentley returned to the hideout, he crawled into his shell and wouldn't come out. Nobody could blame him. Penelope may have betrayed our friendship and trust, but she betrayed Bentley's heart. I knew he blamed himself for the whole predicament… but it wasn't his fault. Everyone took turns trying to coax him out, but nothing worked. In the end, it seemed that Bentley would have to come back to us on his own. Unfortunately, we couldn't wait around. We had a villain to take down... with or without Bentley's help… and this time, it was personal.
- [Sly defeats Penelope, but his leg gets trapped under the giant knight mech]
- Penelope: Do you have any idea what that suit was worth?! It was one of a kind! You've cost me too much already, Cooper! It's time to pay the fiddler. [prepare to finish Sly off but is stopped by Bentley]
- Bentley: That's enough, Penelope!
- Penelope: Huh? [sees Bentley in a mech made from the remains of the Moat Monster]
- Bentley: You heard me.
- Penelope: Bentley, you're suit. Is that my... my Moat Monster?
- Bentley: Yeah, what's left of it anyway. The design was... adequate. I made some adjustments.
- Penelope: Hmph! It was just a prototype anyway!
- Bentley: Why'd you do it, Penelope? You owe me that much at least.
- Penelope: Why? For you, of course! I had to make you see how things could be!
- Bentley: I'm not going to be one of the bad guys, Penelope!
- Penelope: Ha! "Bad Guys"!? That's kinda funny, Bentley, seeing how as how you work for a thief. [motions to the still trapped Sly] But you know the most valuable thing Sly ever stole? Your potential! Together we could change the world, but you're still chasing after honor for chump change! When are you gonna wake up?
- Bentley: So you sold out to Le Paradox for the money?!
- Penelope: [face palms] No, you're not listening! He's just a means to an end.
- Bentley: Wow, and I thought you were smart. Do you really think he's going to let you go? He owns you now. [Penelope rolls her eyes] You're his puppet… and when you've serve your purpose, he's going to cut your strings.
- Penelope: I'm nobody's puppet! Too bad I can't say the same for you. I'm sorry, Bentley, but I guess it's time to make this breakup official!
- Bentley: Penelope, wait! We don't have to do it like this!
- Penelope: Oh, I think we do. It's time to cut some strings... for good. [she and Bentley fight]
- Sly [narrating]: We contacted Dimitri, who started in about Sandstorms and Camel Spit. Well, we finally deciphered enough to realize it was my ancestor, Salim al-Kupar, who was in trouble now. Which meant, we needed to get to Ancient Arabia on the double. This time Carmelita provided a solution. Before Le Paradox grabbed her back in the museum, she'd manage to pocket a gold coin as evidence. And our luck held as it turned out the antique gold piece was exactly what we needed. As we prepared to leave, everyone was keeping an eye on Bentley. He downplayed his heroics and refused to acknowledge that he'd saved us all. I sensed a new confidence in Bentley, which I guess had come from finally confronting his personal demons. We've been through so much. But when it really mattered, we bounce back stronger than ever. I was sure about two things, I couldn't be more proud of Bentley, and we were gonna need every ounce of his newfound strength to take down Le Paradox.
- Sly [narrating]: We traveled to Ancient Arabia to find Salim al-Kupar, an ancestor said to possess the stealth of 40 thieves. No surprise then when Bentley's research revealed that this guy was a charter member of the infamous 40 thieves. For once, it appeared we'd have plenty of backup to help out with this job. When we arrived, however, we were shocked to find that most of the thieves had already retired. Having made their fortunes and gotten older, these great thieves have decided to call quits, and enjoyed their golden years in peace. What wasn't shocking was the unmistakable presence of Cyrille Le Paradox. Nasty-looking guards patrolled everywhere, and it was clear that something sinister was going on. After some detective work, Bentley had even worse news - no one had seen Salim al-Kupar for some time. He had been working with the few of the remaining thieves, but had simply vanished… So where was he? That was the first thing we needed to figure out.
- Sly [narrating]: Back at the hideout, introductions went quickly as Salim stuffed his face. He told us about his problem. Some new player calling herself Miss Decibel had rolled into town and started throwing lots of money around. It didn't take a genius to figure out who the time traveling lieutenant was here. Salim and the 3 remaining thieves had decided to pull one last heist before disappearing into retirement, Miss Decibel being the target. Of course, with her technology, she had easily captured his thief brothers, and Salim had been trying to come up with a plan to free them ever since. Bentley uncovered some interesting background information. Miss Decibel had come from a wealthy British family. Her true love was classical music. Unfortunately, her complete lack of musical talent, coupled with an extreme temper, made for a volatile combination. After suffering a freak accident during a tantrum, she was left unable to play music... normally. However, when she discovered she can control people with her hypnotic tones, a new criminal was born. She began using her devious tones to control others, forcing them to commit crimes for her. We told Salim about Le Paradox, and the whole thing made some strange kind of sense to him. The bad news was he wasn't completely convinced that we were there to help him. I could see I was going to have to prove myself... again.
- Sly [narrating]: We may have stopped Miss Decibel, but it meant absolutely nothing. We were on the ropes. Le Paradox had beaten us every step of the way and he held all the cards - Carmelita, my ancestors' canes, and now his fake pedigree. I couldn't remember a time since we've teamed up that we felt so defeated, and talking to Dimitri didn't help. He was freaked out and yelling about having to "Boogie down in Skunktown", so as usual, his words made little sense, but the message was clear - we had to get back home fast. We may have been down, but we definitely weren't out. There was too much writing on this - the lives of everyone we care about, not to mention the very future of our existence. No matter how, we would make things right. So as we roared back through time to Paris, I knew... we were in... for the fight of our lives.
Paris Epilogue: Deja Vu All Over Again!Edit
- Sly: [narrating] We've finally made it home to Paris, only to find a place we hardly recognized. It was obvious Le Paradox was in control since his face covered the city like a bad rash. The only positive was that Bentley was able to dig up a lot of dirt, including the fact that Le Paradox was from a family of thieves himself, and then we made a major discovery. I knew that my dad's heist of the World's Largest Diamond had made him a legendary thief, but what I never knew was that Le Paradox's father had planned to steal it first, and frame my dad for the crime! Only, he was a little too slow and got himself caught instead. With his father gone, Le Paradox had no one to teach him the family business, and after a string of failed jobs, he wound up in prison too. It was here ironically that he finally got his criminal education. After his release, Le Paradox maintained the appearance of a law abiding citizen. In reality, he used his prison contacts to form his own syndicate and began masterminding heists worldwide. These days, he traveled the globe as a billionaire art collector while his real business was the trafficking of priceless stolen treasures. Clearly, he blamed the Coopers for his family's past misfortunes and his plan was to wipe us out completely. I had to find a way to stop him, but first, I had to rescue Carmelita.
- Sly: So, before we finish this, let me get one thing straight. You came after the Coopers because of what happened to your father?
- Le Paradox: No, you imbecile! I came after the Coopers to prove that Le Paradox is the greatest thief who has ever lived! Is there any doubt? Ask yourself this: If the Coopers were truly the greatest thieves in history, and I have stolen their most valued possessions, then what does that make me?
- Sly: Umm, an idiot? You had it made. You could have been the biggest thief of all time, but you had to target my ancestors and blew your own cover. You exposed your operation because of your ego! No Cooper would have done that. And for the record, can you really say you stole the canes? Seems like your "friends" did all the real work.
- Le Paradox: Enjoy your words, Cooper. Because they will be your last!
- Bentley: [narrating] It's been a while since that night, but there was still no sign of Sly or that cursed blimp. The skunk could barely tread water, so by the time they picked him up… he was happy to see them. Word is he earned a special cell in solitary confinement where the only thing he'll be collecting from now on is grey hair. Both Paris and the Thievius Raccoonus were back to normal… but that hardly made us feel any better. At first, we just waited assuming Sly would show up the way he always did, but as the days stretched into weeks, we had to face the fact that he was truly lost. We've stopped talking about it all the time, but I know it's all we're thinking about... even if we show it in different ways. Murray seems like his usual cheery self, but I can tell there's a new level of seriousness underneath it all. He's on the professional wrestling circuit now and he's really been pushing himself. I know he's doing it to keep his fighting skills sharp. Like all of us, he wants to be ready for action the minute we locate Sly. Carmelita returned to Interpol where she threw herself into her work, busting criminals at a record pace. She's been so busy, I haven't seen her for a while now. My sources tell me, she's conducting her own investigation into Sly's whereabouts. Out of everyone, I think she took his disappearance the hardest... even if she never shows it. At least, not in public. As for myself, I continue to search. Even using all my technology, I haven't found a clue. The time machine is no help since we need to know where Sly was for that to work. I get discouraged sometimes, but I'll never give up. Because I know Sly's still out there and I know that wherever he is, we will find him.
- Bentley: [narrating]: [a photo of Rioichi making sushi in his restaurant] Rioichi Cooper continued to refine his master ninja techniques as well as his sushi, and while his thefts were never detected, his sushi restaurant was recognized as the finest in Japan. [a photo of El Jefe with a cigar in his hand] El Jefe remains behind bars. He was transferred to a South American prison where he now works rolling cigars. Unfortunately for him, there's no smoking allowed. [a photo of Tennessee grabbing bags of money] "Tennessee Kid" Cooper recovered his gold and his place in history as "The Greatest Outlaw of the Old West". His legend grew even bigger when he began stealing from crooked lawmen exclusively. [a photo of Toothpick working] Toothpick was arrested and became part of a chain gang working on the railroads. He eventually went deaf and faded into obscurity. [a photo of "Bob" with eggs] Caveman Cooper kept up his physical training and return to his role as egg thief extraordinaire. Perhaps most importantly, he pioneered the use of his cane as a tool for thieving. [a photo of Grizz rapping and painting] The Grizz received a lengthy prison sentence and began a new career as a rap artist. In his spare time, he paints portraits of his fellow inmates. [a photo of Galleth on stage] Sir Galleth Cooper return to his heroic adventures and went on to form the Knights of the Cooper Order, a gallant group that stole from corrupt nobility. He also became a successful, if overly dramatic, actor. [a photo of Penelope in jail] Penelope was sent to Europe's highest security prison... where she promptly escaped. She remains at large and the police have no clue as to her whereabouts. Recently however, I've been receiving some mysterious postcards. [a photo of Salim sleeping on a camel] Salim al-Kupar finally retired from thieving and took a long nap, then he dreamed of a lucrative new business. Parking his camel around town, he sold snacks to hungry customers. It was highly successful. [a photo of Ms. Decibel] After being locked up, Ms. Decibel decided to make some changes - she had the horn removed from her trunk, enrolled in anger-management classes and began teaching music to other prisoners. With continued good behavior she might get an early parole. [a photo of Dimitri in a swimsuit] Dimitri returned to his globe-trotting ways as a celebrity scuba diver, and even launched a new line of fashion wear. He's so successful, there's a new reality TV Show chronicling his adventures. It's called "Disco Diver". [a photo of Cyrille in his cell] Le Paradox had all his assets seized, including his art collection, and everything was donated to the city of Paris. I'm told his cell was modified to be completely Odor-Proof. I suppose that's (kinda) good for the guards since he's going to be living there... for a very long time.
- Kevin Miller as Sly Cooper
- Matt Olsen as Bentley
- Chris Murphy as Murray
- Grey DeLisle as Carmelita Fox, Blimp Computer Voice
- Annette Toutonghi as Penelope, Black Knight
- David Scully as Dimitri Lousteau
- Steve Blum as Rioichi Cooper, Lizard Guard, Lion, Store Keeper
- Brian George as Salim al-Kupar, Panther, Tiger
- Yuri Lowenthal as Sir Galleth Cooper
- Patrick Seitz as Bob Cooper, "Wildman" Weezner, Mech Wolf, Steer Guard, Mammoth Guard
- Sam Riegel as "Tennessee Kid" Cooper
- Nolan North as Cyrille Le Paradox, El Jefe, Announcer
- Fred Tatasciore as Grizz, Owl Guard, Sabertooth Guard, Penguin
- David Lodge as Toothpick, Boar Guard
- Eliza Jane Schneider as Miss Decibel
- Michael Gough as Crane Guard
- Cam Clarke as Monkey Guard
- Robin Atkins Downes as Coyote Guard
- Jess Harnell as Baboon Guard, Carny
- John Mariano as Jackalope
- Lani Minella as Rat trooper, Porcupine Guard, Dodo Guard
- Iona Morris as Cat guard, Hack Computer Voice