Poker Night 2

Poker Night 2 is a poker video game developed by Telltale Games. It is the sequel to Poker Night at the Inventory and, like its predecessor, features crossover characters from different franchises.

Quotes

GLaDOS: Good evening. This completes the first test of the contestants' poker faces. Bad news is you all failed miserably. The good news is you appear to be evenly matched. (Departs)

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GLaDOS: The player has been eliminated due to lack of funds. And intelligence.

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Sam: Hey, I won again. I wonder what that means?

Max: Means you're on a roll baby! Bet everything!

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Ash: You're killing me here, GLaDOS.

GLaDOS: If I were actually killing you, there would be a lot more screaming. And irony.

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GLaDOS: It's a mathematical certainty that 80% of you are going to lose tonight. And 100% of you will eventually die. (Beat) Math is fun, don't you think?

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GLaDOS: (ring) Excuse me. I have to take this. Something or someone appears to be exploding back at the lab. (powers down)

Sam: You know, I've met a lot of robots, but I don't think I've come across one with trans-dimensional cell phone coverage.

Brock: Yeah, well, that's the least of robot girl secrets.

Claptrap: We're not talking "Crying Game" secrets, are we?

Brock: Not even close. The way I hear it, when GLaDOS was plugged in, she went cuckoo bananas and wiped out the scientists that created her.

Sam: You'd be amazed how many robots do that.

Brock: And now she haunts the lifeless labs of Aperture Science performing inhuman experiments on anyone unlucky enough to fall in her mechanical clutches.

Claptrap: That. Is. So. Hot!

GLaDOS: (powers up) False alarm, everyone. The explosions turned out to be implosions; which are much easier to contain. Did I miss anything?

All: (negatory remarks)

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GLaDOS: Did you know that the term 'blinds' was coined by a blind poker in the 19th century? Of course you didn't. Because it's a lie. In any event, I'm upping the blinds to 1200 to 2400.

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GLaDOS: Management froze me out of the lighting systems after I created a strobe effect to induce seizures in a bus full of freemasons. It was an... illuminating experiment.

Ash: You made that up just for the pun, didn't you?

GLaDOS: Maybe. Say cheese. (flashes camera)

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GLaDOS: Brock Sampson has been eliminated.

Brock: This is a joke, right?

GLaDOS: I'm not very good at jokes, but here's one: What's yellow and black and red all over?

Brock: What?

GLaDOS: Brock Sampson if he doesn't leave this table.

Brock: Uhh... good one.

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GLaDOS: Congratulations. You've won. I'm hoping you weren't expecting baked desserts, because I don't do that anymore.

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GLaDOS: Actually, my scans indicate that Mr. Williams' hand is fully functional, and its nervous tapping appears to be induced by an outside force. I'll see if I can isolate it.

Brock: Don't bother, it's morse code.

Ash: What?

Brock: D... R... I... N...

GLaDOS: K. M. O. R. E. B.

Brock: A... N... A... N... G...

Ash: Drink more Banang. Huh.

GLaDOS: Your hand has apparently been possessed by a marketing department.

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GLaDOS: It appears you have lost all your chips. Oh well. It's only money. Your money. $20,000 of it. Right down the drain.

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GLaDOS: The robot from Pandora is out of chips.

Claptrap: Darn it, I forgot to turn on my poker subroutine. Can I get a do-over?

GLaDOS: Your question has activated my rarely used giggle center. (softly) Tee. Hee.

Claptrap: Rats!

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GLaDOS: Congratulations. You've converted a nearly unbeatable hand into a victory.

Claptrap: Why can't I get cards like that?

GLaDOS: Because you're a moron.

Claptrap: Well, I'd like a second opinion on that.

Brock: It's true. You're a moron.