Vegas Vacation

1997 film directed by Stephen Kessler

Vegas Vacation is a 1997 film about the Griswolds trip to Las Vegas, as Clark got an extra bonus for developing a food preservative.

Directed by Stephen Kessler.
This time the Griswolds are on a roll. (taglines)

Clark Griswold

  • That's nothing, it's a...birthmark.
  • Hard six coming out.
  • It's my long-life food preservative. The FDA finally approved it!
  • Eddie, This is great! They don't have any of these games at the Mirage.
  • His name is not Papagiorgio. His name is Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student!
  • Don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin, Rus.
  • ...and he want's to enter that garden, with a knowledge, and a mulch...
  • Oh, Keno! This is easy.
  • My pen burst. (after hotel employee notices Clark's arm is blue from falling in the plane's toilet)

Ellen Griswold

  • (after an attempt to have sex with Clark in the bathroom goes horribly wrong) I'll never fly again.
  • Clark, this is a family trip. Can you try to stay with the family.
  • Could be could be pregnant again.
  • You find the Clark Griswold that I married and you tell him that I'm at the Mirage!
  • I love what you've done with the kitchenette.
  • Well, I don't know what you would do with your horses, because, Clark likes to use the garage for the cars and the lawn mower.
  • I've got news for you Clark. I haven't said yes, yet.

Rusty Griswold

  • Couldn't you just roll us around on the bed again.
  • I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car.
  • Who would have thought my sister had the legs of a thoroughbred. Am I right?
  • So I says to him, I said, "Get your own monkey!"
  • It's expensive having an entourage.
  • Security: "No corrective lenses tonight Mr Papagiorgio?" Rusty: "No sir, I do not require them."
  • Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin' on mom!

Cousin Eddie

  • Clark, have you ever tried to swim with the dolphins?
  • [to Wayne Newton] Do you need a bodyguard? I'd die for you!
  • Aw, she's got her mother's looks and her daddy's sense of balance.
  • My garden's spittin' out 50-lb tomatoes.
  • Hey, kids. Round-up time!
  • Oh, yeah. That's from when I sold my kidney. I figured with all the advancements in modern science, I'd better sell it while someone still wanted to buy it. Smartest thing I ever did, Clark.
  • Ahh Uban Coffee you know you can sprinkle that stuff on anything, ice cream, mashed potatoes or just eat it straight out of the can for a quick pick me up.
  • Don't worry, he's with me.
  • It's a bust, Las Vegas fun police, hand over your chips. ha ha ha ha
  • Whoa man it is a blazer out there. You're lucky you got air conditioning in here {Casino} - like mother nature intended.
  • I gotta warn ya Clark – they don’t play the same games that they do at them regular casinos

Cousin Vicki

  • Lord is my witness, I hate this heat! If it isn't gluing your butt to the truck seat it's making you sweat like a farm animal!
  • In this world, you’re either up on the stage in the spotlight, or down in the pit serving drinks
  • Honey, these boys ain't much to talk to, but, if you want a night away from your cat... they're more than fine.


  • Jilly - That's it, kid. Now all we have to do is teach you how to dress.
  • Roy - What a great audience.


Clark: Eddie, did anyone ever tell you, you're bad luck.
Eddie: You know, those were my mother's dying words. Course, when you're covered in third degree burns and your leg's caught in a bear trap, you're bound to say weird things.

Ellen: Clark. Are you feeling lucky tonight, Sparky?
Clark: Not right now, honey. They're teaching me baccarat.

Clark: Here, make the seats good.
[begins pouring coins into the Maitre d's hand]
Maitre d' : No...gratuity...necessary, sir. Right this way.

Jilly: Kid, you made me a lot of money tonight. Hey, you like gettin' massages?
Rusty: By who?
Jilly: [sarcastically] By me. Meet me in the spa tomorrow at 10 o'clock.

Clark: You need any help with the grill, Eddie?
Eddie: No thanks, Clark. Don't have one. [throws chicken onto a rock] I'll get the tongs

Audrey: OK, what happened to you last night?
Rusty: [giggles]
[Audrey and Rusty sit down to breakfast]
Audrey: Coffee
Rusty: Me, too.
Ellen: Make it three.
Clark: [to waitress] Four coffees it is.
Clark: Kids!
Audrey: Daddy, don't shout.
Clark: What do you say we each have an 'alone day', where each of us can go out and explore the city of Las Vegas in their own way.
Ellen: Clark, I don't think that's such a good...
Rusty: Thanks
Audrey: See, ya.
Clark: Don't worry, honey. You're gonna love it. See ya.

Security: Have you seen a guy named Nick Papagiorgio?
Clark: Yes, he took my wallet. He's over there.

[at Club Areola]
Security: Your usual table, Mr. Papagiorgio?
Rusty: Not today, Jimmy.
Clark: You're in deep trouble, my friend.

Ellen: Clark. Are we lost?
Rusty: Yeah, dad. What block are we on?
Clark: Very funny, Rus.

Rusty: I wanna gamble.
Clark: Russell. I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again. Gambling is a very serious business.


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