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Matilda (film)

1996 film directed by Danny DeVito

Matilda is a British/American 1996 TriStar Home Entertainment Films fantasy comedy film about a young girl who is extremely smart and loves reading and who has difficulties in life in the form of her disapproving parents Harry and Zinnia and her brother Michael Wormwood plus her terrifying headmistress at school. Matilda soon finds that she has telekinetic powers which allow her to control things with her mind.

Harry Wormwood

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  • I'm great. I'm incredible. Michael, pencil and paper in the kitchen.

Matilda

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  • No more Ms. Nice Girl.
  • [Harry: Young lady, where were you?] Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because a boy ate some chocolate cake.

Jenny

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  • Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night. I know that I-- [Trunchbull: I broke your arm once before, I can do it again, Jenny.] I am not seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull!
  • I'd be happy to walk her home. [Zinnia: Well, nobody will be there. We're moving to Guam. Come on. Let's go.] Guam?

Trunchbull

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  • I need a car that is inexpensive, but reliable. Can you service me? [Harry: As a matter of speaking, yes. Welcome to Wormwood Motors. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever.] Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. I warned you, sir. I want a tight car, because I'm on a tight ship. [Harry: Oh yeah, huh? Uh…] My school is a model of discipline. "Use the rod, beat the child". That's my motto. [Harry: Terrific motto.] Do you have any brats for yourself? [Harry: Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mistake, Matilda.] They're all mistakes, children. Filthy and nasty things. I'm glad I never was one. [Harry: Uh-huh. Well, since you're an educator, I'm gonna make you a great deal.] You'd better. [Harry: Let's do business!]
  • The distance the shot put goes depends upon the effort you put into it! PERSPIRATION!
  • Hop to, hippity-hop! The entire school will go to the assembly room, immediately. Sit!
  • Shut up! The entire school will stay another FIVE HOURS after school and copy from the dictionary! Any child who object will go straight into the choky... TOGETHER!
  • Useless flaming CAR! [storms towards Matilda] Wormwood! Sell me a lemon?! [drags her through the hallways] You're heading for the Chokey, young lady! [Matilda: The Chokey?!] Teach you a lesson! [Matilda: What lesson?!] You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! [Matilda: My father?] The guy with the stupid haircut! [Matilda: I'm nothing like my father!] You're the spitting image! The apple never rots far from the tree!
  • Why are all of these women married?! Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You're supposed to be teaching spelling, not poetry!
  • [the kids giggle as they notice the newt in her glass of water] What’s funny? Hmm? Well, spit it out! Speak up! I like a joke as well as the next fat person!
  • [to Matilda] You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat! You're the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! Am I wrong? I'm never wrong! In this classroom, in this school, I AM GOD!
  • I'll be watching you, each and every one. When you turn the corner, when you go to your little cubbies to get your smelly little coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you. All of you! [pointing at Matilda] And especially you!
  • [on the phone, to Harry] WORMWOOD! You useless used-car salesman scum, I want you around here NOW! With another car! Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom, I'm gonna take that no-good jalopy you sold me and SHOVE IT UP YOUR BAZOOKA! When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like ROADKILL! You what?
  • I am here to teach you all a lesson! [forcefully pushes a set of desks into the wall] Sometimes in life, horrible and unexplainable things happen. [kicks more desks into the wall] These things are a test of character! [pushes more desks into the wall] And I have character!
  • You… will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you!

Dialogue

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[We start with a close-up of a baby girl's face as the camera then pulls back from her. She's in a nursery room in a hospital]
Narrator: [first lines] Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Some will grow to be butchers or bakers or candlestick makers. Some will only be really good at making a Jell-O salad. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. [a nurse picks up the baby and shows her to a man, who grumbles and walks off] Most parents believe that their children are the most beautiful creatures that ever graced this planet. Other take a less emotional approach.
[Outside, adults look at their newborn kids. The man, Harry Wormwood, walks beside his wife, Zinnia Wormwood]
Harry: What a waste of time.
Zinnia: And painful.
Harry: And expensive! $9.25 for a bar of soap?
Zinnia: Well, I had to take a shower, Harry.
Harry: $5,000?! I'm not paying it! What are they gonna do, repossess the kid? [puts the baby girl in the back of his car. Looking back at her, a boy named Michael Wormwood, Harry and Zinna's son waves a toy, making her anxious. Harry jerks the car forward, causing the baby to slide. He hits the gas pedal, causing the baby to slide back] There's no way out.
Zinnia: Make a U-turn. [as Harry makes different turns in every direction, the baby looks dizzy] Harry!
Harry: Alright.
[The car speeds over speedbumps]
Zinnia: [voice vibrating] Harry!
[Elsewhere in a neighborhood]
Boy: The Wormwood guy is back!
Narrator: Harry and Zinnia Wormwood lived in a very nice neighborhood, in a very nice house. But they were not really very nice people.
[The Wormwoods arrive at their home]
Harry: Get outta the street, ya little dodos!
[As Harry, Zinnia and Michael enter the house, the baby girl is still in the car]
Narrator: The Wormwoods were so wrapped up in their own silly lives that they barely noticed that they had a daughter. Had they paid attention to her at all they'd have realized she was a rather extraordinary child.
[The baby girl is sitting on the night bar]
Zinnia: Oh, my gosh, Matilda, now look what you did!
Narrator: They named her Matilda.
[As Matilda writes her name on green baby food, Zinnia wipes it off]
Zinnia: You're supposed to eat the spinach. Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! [picks her up and puts her in the sink] Babies. You're better off raising tomatoes!
[Matilda, now older, wipes her face with a rag]
Narrator: By the time she was 2 years old, Matilda had learned what most people learn in their early 30s: How to take care of herself. [she jumps down to the floor. Now 4 years old, Matilda gets dressed] As time went by, she developed a sense of style. Every morning, Matilda's older brother, Michael, went to school.
Michael: Bye, Mom!
Zinnia: Get outta here.
Narrator: Her father went to work, selling used cars for unfaired prices.
Zinnia: Make money.
Narrator: And her mother took off to play Bingo.
Zinnia: Soup's on the stove. Heat it up if you get hungry.
[As each of the Wormwoods leave, Matilda watches]
Narrator: Matilda was left alone. That was how she liked it.
Harry: Bye!
Zinnia: Ciao! [to Matilda] There's fish fingers in the microwave. [leaves]
Narrator: The next morning, after her parents left, Matilda set off in search of a book.
Harry: Any packages come today?
Matilda: Mm-mm.
Harry: [about the books] Where'd all this come from?
Matilda: The library.
Harry: "The library?!" You never set foot in the library, you're only four years old!
Matilda: I'm six and a half.
Harry: You're four!
Matilda: Six and a half.
Harry: If you were six and a half, you'd be in school already!
Matilda: I want to be in school. I told you I was supposed to start school in September. You wouldn't listen.
Harry: [grabs Matilda by her arm and drags her out of her bedroom] Get up! Get up! Get out here. Give me that book. [takes the book and throws it aside, briefly catching Michael's attention. Harry takes Matilda to their bedroom where Zinnia is applying peroxide in her hair] Dearest pie, how old is Matilda?
Zinnia: Four.
Matilda: I'm six and a half, Mommy.
Zinnia: Five, then.
Matilda: I was six in August.
Harry: You're a liar.
Matilda: I wanna go to school.
[Zinnia snickers]
Harry: [scoffs] School! It's out of the question. Who would be here to sign for the packages? [applies hair oil into his hair] We can't leave valuable packages sitting on the doorstep. Now go watch TV like a good kid.
[Matilda begins to look upset and turns to leave the bedroom]
Zinnia: You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl.
Harry: Hm. Tell me about it.
[In the hallway, Michael begins to bully Matilda as she picks her book up]
Michael: Hey, dipface! [throws some marshmallows at at Matilda, as she walks to her bedroom, ignoring him] Have a marshmallow. Have another marshmallow, dipface! Dipface! [She closes her door]
Harry: I'm great! I'm incredible! Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen.
Zinnia: Did we sell some cars today, honeydew?
Harry: Did we! [air kisses his wife as Michael grabs a notebook and a pencil]
Zinnia: [as she, her husband and Michael walk to the table where Matilda, whose reading a book, is at] Does that mean I can get that new TV?
Harry: Yeah! Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. And it's time that you've learned the family business. Sit down, and write this down. [Michael sits down and starts writing] Alright. The first car that your brilliant father sold cost $320. I sold it for $1,158. The second one costs $512. I sold it for $2,269.
Michael: Wait, Dad, you're going too fast.
Harry: Just write. The third cost $68. I sold it for $999. And the fourth cost $1,100. I sold it for 7,839 big American boffos!
Zinnia: Harry! [kisses him]
Harry: What's my profit for the day?
Michael: Could you repeat the last one-?
Matilda: $10,265. [Harry, Zinnia and Michael staring at her] Check it if you don't believe me.
[The trio looks at paper]
Harry: You're a little cheat, you saw the paper.
Matilda: From all the way over here?
Harry: [confused] Are you being smart with me? [angrily approaches Matilda and points his finger at her] If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're gonna be punished.
Matilda: Punished for being smart?
Harry: [angrily]For being a smart aleck! [points his finger at her again] When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson.
Matilda: "Person?"
Harry: Get up! Get up- [pulls Matilda by her ear, and sends her to her room, shuts the door]
Narrator: Harry Wormwood had, unintentionally, given his daughter the first practical advise she could use. He meant to say, "When a child is bad". Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Only when they deserved it, of course.
[After Matilda puts peroxide in her father's hair tonic, causing him to unknowingly bleach his hair blonde]
Harry: Okay, my boy! Heir to the throne! Today we diddle the customer!
[Michael drops his cookie and gasps at the sight of him]
Harry: What's wrong with you? What are you looking at? Lovekins, where's my breakfast?
Zinnia: Here we are, my heartstrings! [sees Harry, shrieks and throws two bowls of cereal in the air] Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair?
Harry: My hair? [goes to a mirror and sees] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!!!! [falls over sideways]
[Matilda stifles a laugh as she takes a drink]
Harry: I will not be a figure of ridicule! I want respect and I want it now!
Zinnia: I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously you did.
Harry: I did not glue my hat to my head! The hat shrunk, the fibres fused to my hair!
Matilda: Hi, Dad.
Harry: [very stern] Are you in this family? [Matilda does not answer] Hello? Are you in this family? [switches lamp off] Dinnertime is family time! What is this trash you're reading?
Matilda: It's not trash, Dad, it's lovely. It's called "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville.
Harry: [confused] Moby what?! [angrily grabs the book and rips its pages out] This is filth! Trash!
Matilda: It's not mine, it's a library book!
Harry: Trash! [throws the book on the floor] I'm fed up with all this reading! You're a Wormwood, and it's time you started acting like one! Sit up and look at the TV! [grabs Matilda's head, forcing her to watch TV]

(shivering)

(instrumental music ends)

(children cheering)

Agatha Trunchbull: Quiet! Get to class before I throw you all in the Chokey.
Matilda: Lavender, what's my teacher like?
Agatha Trunchbull: Run, run, run! Faster! Get in. Quickly!
Amanda: I scooped these up for you, Miss Honey.
Jenny: Oh, how lovely. Thank you, Amanda. Okay. Listen up, everybody. Have a new student with us. Today, this is Matilda Wormwood.
Jenny: We've been working on our two tables.

(kids chattering)

Jenny: Okay. Let's do some together.
 
 
 
Jenny: Execellent! You're been practicing. Pretty soon you'll be able to do any multiplication whether:   Very good. Or:  .
[Nighttime, Zinnia watches a wrestling match on TV. Harry, pretend to be the announcer, imitates to wrestle with Michael. Sitting in the arm-chair, Matilda does her homework]
Harry: Whack to the belly! A smack in the face. Another smack in the face! Burns is hurt! He's on the rope, ladies and gentlemen! [a doorbell is heard] Saved by the bell! The packages are at this hour?
Zinnia: Come here. [straightens her husband's hair with a hairbrush] Okay.
[Harry answers the door to Jenny]
Jenny: Hello.
Harry: We don't give money, we don't like charities, and we don't buy raffle tickets. [goes to rudely shut the door in Jenny's face]
Jenny: [stops him] Mr. Wormwood, I'm Jennifer Honey, and I'm Matilda's teacher.
[Matilda looks up from doing her homework]
Harry: What has she done now? [to Matilda] You! Go to your room, right now! Right now! Beat it![Matilda walks off; back to Jenny] Look, whatever it is, she's your problem now.
Jenny: [stopping Harry from closing the door again] No. There's no problem.
Harry: Then beat it. We're watching TV.
Jenny: [stops Harry from closing the door once more, and glares at him] Mr. Wormwood, if you think watching some rotten TV show is more important than your daughter, then maybe you shouldn't be a parent. Now, why don't you turn that darn thing off and listen to me?
Harry: [sighs in frustration and in defeat] Alright. Come on in. Let's get this over with. Mrs. Wormwood is not gonna like this. Come on, get it. [Jenny finally enters the house] Close the door.
[Jenny obeys]
[Matilda and Jenny walk past Trunchbull's house]
Jenny: That's where Ms. Trunchbull lives.
Matilda: Why is there a swing?
Jenny: A girl I know used to live in that house. [cut to a series of flashbacks] Her life was good and happy. When she was just 2 years old, her mother died. Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly.
Matilda: The Trunchbull.
Jenny: Yes. And worst of all, when the girl was 5, her father died.
Matilda: How did her father die?
Jenny: The police decided he killed himself.
Matilda: Why would he do such a thing?
Jenny: No one knows. [cut back to present] The end is happier. She found a small cottage. She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom.
[Matilda and Jenny arrive at the cottage]
Matilda: This is the cottage from your story.
Jenny: Yes.
Matilda: The young woman is you.
Jenny: Yes.
Matilda: But then... [her eyes widen in realization] No.
Jenny: Yes. Aunt Trunchbull.
[Zinnia has been entertaining the FBI agents]
Zinnia: Matilda! This is Bob and Bill!
Matilda: They're cops.
Zinnia: They are not cops, they are ace powerboat salesmen!
Harry: [entering] Baby-cakes, I'm starved!
Zinnia: Hi, Harry...
Harry: [sees the agents and looks appalled] Who are you? What is this, a hot tub party?! Get the hell outta here! I slave all day, I come home, you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders!
Matilda: They're cops, dad.
Bob: You interested in timeshare?
[Harry slams the door on him]
Zinnia: You don't let me talk to people! I live in a cage, Harry! I need to talk to somebody besides those stupid kids!
Harry: Oh yeah?! Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wade through a convention of male strippers!
Narrator: And the Trunchbull was gone. Never to be seen or heard from, never to darken a doorway again.

Cast

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