Law & Order/Season 2

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Law & Order (1990–2010, 2022-) is a long-running police procedural and courtroom drama television series, created by Dick Wolf.

Confession [2.01]

Magadan: You know how to read a rap sheet, don’t you? Five arrests, three convictions.

Robinette: So you’re a loser, so...?

Captain Cragen: "...maybe threaten his old lady." Too bad he didn’t take that route. Marie would have kicked his ass.

Logan: I know I went over the line. I was down on myself for a while, even though I, you know, I tried to rationalize it. I have to find a way to forgive myself.

Olivet: Acceptance, Logan. That's the...

Logan: Yeah, that's the last stage, right? Max is dead. I accept it. But I'll never accept it, you know?

The Wages of Love [2.02]

Ceretta: I wish we had a gun...

Captain Cragen: I wish I had a girlfriend named "Lola".

Captain Cragen: His own gun? I love this. So he killed the girl, killed himself, and threw the gun out the window?

Lehrman: Murder Two? Why even have it on the menu? This isn't murder, it's manslaughter.

Stone: So you're admitting she killed him?

Lehrman: No. But if she killed him, it was extreme emotional disturbance, and that's manslaughter.

Stone: I get it. She wasn't there, and if she was there, she didn't kill them, and if she did kill them, she didn't mean to, and if she did mean to, it's because she was upset.

Robinette: Never seen you like this before.

Stone: I have never done anything this potentially stupid before.

Aria [2.03]

Patricia: My mother couldn't decide if I was Martha Graham or Helen Hayes.

Cerreta: Who were you?

Patricia: I was Patty Blaine. So I got out before I wasn't.

Elizabeth: So now you're telling me it was an accident and it's still my fault?

Stone: Mrs. Blaine, I'm not a psychiatrist. I don't know what part of your psyche made you force your own flesh and blood into pornography. But yes, I do think Priscilla's death was your fault. Both legally and morally.

Elizabeth: But I loved her. She was my life!

Stone: No, she was your daughter. She had a life of her own.

Asylum [2.04]

Dr. Olivet: He's psychotic, he's not psychopathic.

Cerreta: What's the difference?

Dr. Olivet: Psychotic is when you believe the doorman was sent from Planet X to put mind control devices in your teeth. Psychopathic is when you blow the doorman away and take out twenty other people while you're at it.

Ms. Murdoch: How come every freak in the country lives in New York? Why don’t some of you people move to Nebraska?

Violet: I’m from Nebraska, sweetie. How do you think I got this way?

Logan: Let's say it was a mugger. He got scared off before he could get to the money.

Cerreta: Or maybe he just got mad because somebody kicked his box.

Logan: Well, wouldn't you?

Cerreta: Don't you kick my box!

Lemonhead: I want that reward.

Cerreta: I thought Polesky was your friend.

Lemonhead: I'm flexible.

Logan: Crazy, not stupid.

Stone: [to a mentally ill witness] Your psychiatrist tells us that you have moments of rational thought. We're going to take care of you, and you're going to go back in there and have one of those moments.

God Bless the Child [2.05]

[Logan and Cerreta listen to 911 call recordings, describing what they hear.]

Cerreta: Grandmother fell down the stairs... Daddy's beating up mommy...

Logan: An accident... boiler room explosion...

Cerreta: Want to move to a small town in New Jersey? I know one with a nice police chief.

Captain Cragen: So, you wanna send it to social services? It's your call.

Cerreta: The most we can get her for is endangering the welfare of a child.

Logan: No, no. What we get her for is manslaughter.

Captain Cragen: Whoa, Mike. Slow down. We don't get her for anything you don't prove she knew the kid was seriously ill.

Logan: All right. The housekeeper. What's her name? Uh, Amado. She knew damn well the kid was sick enough to get 2 cops.

Cerreta: Oh, that'll put the parents away for sure. She was fired. She'll say anything.

Logan: Getting fired? You think that's a reason to lie about the kid? [to the captain] You believe this?

Cerreta: Hey! What I think, what you think, what he thinks don't mean diddly-squat! Because in court, she's not a credible witness!

Logan: Credible?! The kid died!

Captain Cragen: Well, well, what's this? Honeymoon over?

Misconception [2.06]

[Logan and Cerreta jokingly discuss the alibi of a cab driver]

Logan: It's not bulletproof. I used to drive a cab. I'd some nights park outside of Susan Dennis' house, take care of business, and pay the fare myself.

Cerreta: [chuckles] So that would have been what, 3 or 4 minutes?

Logan:[grins] More like a trip to the airport.

Schiff: You want a jury to ignore the evidence.

Stone: No, Chris and Amy want the jury to look at the law. I’ll get the jury to look at Chris and Amy.

Schiff: The law’s supposed to be a shield, not a sword. They’re despicable, yes. But by letter of the law they’re not guilty.

Stone: The legislature could never have conceived of anything like this, but wrong should not win by technicalities. You know that yourself.

Schiff: Get these bastards off the street.

In Memory Of... [2.07]

Captain Cragen: What'd Conover say?

Logan: He told us to go to Hell.

Captain Cragen: Well, at least he's got a way with words.

Stone: We have an obligation to investigate.

Greer: At the expense of my client’s reputation? This man has led an exemplary life.

Stone: Or he hasn’t, and nobody caught him.

Messimer: This is blackmail!

Stone: No, it's your meeting.

Greer: Spare his daughter further suffering. We'll take a plea, with a sealed record.

Stone: Well, I'm sure Mr. Messimer knows all about sealed records.

Greer: Don't force this, Ben. I'll demolish that woman on the stand.

Stone: Oh, I get it. He cares about her, but you'll demolish her.

Greer: Criminally negligent homicide. He does no time.

Stone: No time for killing a child? Who's blackmailing whom?

Atkinson: My father was waiting for me in front of my building last night. He begged me not to say anything. He said it would be better for me. Not for him, for me. All those years, I wondered what was wrong with me.

Out of Control [2.08]

Cerreta: Did you get any read on her?

Dr. Olivet: After 15 minutes? How about some top-of-the-line inadmissible, subjective impressions?

Logan: [sarcastically] Just as long as you don't go out on a limb.

Dr. Olivet: Is it just me, detective, or is it all women with triple digit IQs?

Logan: [grins] Oh, well, you're the only one I know, doc.

Dr. Olivet: Girls are constantly bombarded with images of who they should be to get boys. Ads, movies, Madonna.

Fermi: If you think that a woman doesn't know when she's being raped, then I hope you never find out how wrong you are.

Renunciation [2.09]

Rydell: We have a deal, Stone.

Stone: Wrong tense, counselor. In my office, two half-truths do not equal a whole, and you better pray that your client here is snowing you, too.

Rydell: Are you threatening me?

Stone: As a matter of fact, yes, I am.

Robinette: Education. It’s a wonderful thing.

Stone: "Anything worth knowing cannot be taught in a classroom."

Robinette: Oscar Wilde?

Stone: Sister Mary Frances. She wielded a hell of a paddle.

Heaven [2.10]

Logan: Where'd you go after that?

Chuey: No se.

Logan: No se? Or won't se?

Captain Cragen: What is less than square one?

Judge Waxman: This is a difficult decision. It brings the rights of the individual to head-on conflict with legitimate governmental requirements. However, I'm inclined to grant the people's limited request.

Pescador: What?! [gets out of his seat] This is worse than Castro, man!

[everyone in the courtroom goes berserk as the judge continuously bangs his gavel]

Pescador: You can't cut my leg without my say-so! I'm not going to no hospital! I'm not going to no hospital!

Judge Waxman: All of you, sit down! Quiet in this courtroom! Quiet! I said quiet, or I'll clear the court! [bangs gavel again] Excuse me! [bangs again, silencing the crowd] Excuse me, Mr. Pescador. We can and will. Now, sit down! [Pescador sits down] The defendant will submit forthwith to the surgical procedure, which shall be conducted in the manner consistent with this court's written ruling.

Robinette: Attempted homicide?! Those 53 people are homicides. They're dead.

Attorney: He didn't mean to kill anyone, Paul!

Robinette: Don't tell me you're even thinkin' about negligent homicide. Now, look, if he's only a messenger boy, he'd better start namin' names, or he's goin' down alone.

Attorney: He says if he goes to prison, the man'll have him killed.

[Robinette pins Pescador against the wall]

Robinette: Listen to me, man! You don't go to jail, there's about 500 grievin' relatives out there who'd be happy to kill you! You hear what I'm sayin'?!

Pescador: I'll take my chances with them.

Robinette: This is a ridiculous exercise. No matter what, he's goin' down. We send him upstate, downstate, it doesn't matter. Somebody'll get him. This is not a perfect world, Cesar, but then, you already know that.

[Pescador tries to stand up on his incapacitated leg, but cannot and hits the ground]

Pescador: It ain't fair! You know, that assassin didn't even pay me. I get nothing for the deal.

Robinette: What assassin? And what's the deal?

Attorney: Tell him, Cesar. Tell him!

Pescador: A lot of people give the Cubano a lot of money for their micas. 5, 6,000 cash. And then they find out they're bogus. A bunch of paper, man. So they start making noise.

Robinette: What kinda noise?

Pescador: Lot of lawyers telling them, "Hey. You got rights, too". So the people, they want to turn the Cubano in. So he come to me, and he says, "Cesar, Cesar, I tell you what to do. You send those people a message. You put the fear of God into them".

Robinette: By burning down the club?

Pescador: It was supposed to be a warning! Like what they do in El Salvador. The Cubano, he says, "So some people burn, then so what? There's a whole lot more where they come from." The people in El Cielo... Lot of Salvadorans. They got the message. They got the message.

[Robinette helps him back onto his wheelchair]

Robinette: The Cuban. What's his name?

Pescador: Guerra. Domingo Guerra. He owns a club himself. The Del Mundo. Del Mundo.

His Hour Upon the Stage [2.11]

Judge Silver: Have we got a clerk here? Is he on break or what? [reads docket] The People vs. Gary Wallace. The charge is murder, second degree. Is the defendant ready to enter a plea?

Cobb: Your Honor, if it pleases the court...

Judge Silver: Mr. Cobb, you couldn't please this court if you danced an Irish jig on your fingertips. Can we get a plea?

Wallace: Not guilty.

Judge Silver: Somebody talk to me about bail.

Cobb: Your Honor, a five-year old crime ... My client is a respected businessman.

Judge Silver: Whose car was used in the crime, counselor. Mr. Robinette?

Robinette: The People request 200,000, your honor. All cash.

Judge Silver: Mr. Robinette, do you know me to be vindictive? Bond'll be fine. 300,000. [bangs gavel] Where's my clerk?!

Logan: You know, there's a lesson in this. Never fall in love with an actress.

Cerreta: Rex Harrison said it. They never stop acting.

Star Struck [2.12]

Logan: Thou shalt not steal, except when nobody gets hurt?

Robinette: We're not gods. We're not even angels.

Severance [2.13]

Cerreta: These guys sound like Boy Scouts.

Logan: Or shadow lives. Somebody paid good money to have them killed- you peer long enough, something emerges from the shadows.

Logan: Law degree. A license to lie.

[Teasdale is convincing Tina to lie about Frank Kemp's whereabouts]

McManus: Sorry, I'm not very good at this.

Teasdale: For 25 thou you'd better be.

[Stone and Robinette discuss the hiring of Arthur Gold as Charles Martine's lawyer.]

Stone: If you're referring to the Jacobs case, that was 6 years ago, we were understaffed, and that laundry list of paperwork he made was abusive.

Robinette: It was good enough to suppress the murder weapon. Good enough to beat you.

Schiff: No excuses, you screwed up!

Stone: I thought...

Schiff: Brains didn't enter into it!

Kemp: What are you putting in your coffee, Stone? 'Cuz you're high if you think-

Stone: I think this offer is good for another 30 seconds.

[Arthur Gold has lost the case to Stone.]

Gold: You're not that smart. You never were. [grins] Call me, we'll do lunch. [He drives off.]

Robinette: You'd really eat lunch with him?

Stone: Oh, maybe. If he orders crow.

Blood is Thicker [2.14]

Schiff: Who’s available to send in?

Stone: An armed robber. A rent-gouging landlord. Both of those are ripe for deals.

Schiff: Go with the armed robber: ends up in front of a jury, get more sympathy than a landlord.

Webber: I told him it was all right, a technical violation at worst.

Judge Bryan: Bad advice, counselor. Very bad advice. I've got a technical solution for his technical violation. Mr. Ryder likes islands? I've got one for him. Rikers.

Robinette: If he takes the deal, I’d say 'Yes'.

Stone: If he takes the deal, I’ll start buying lottery tickets.

Trust [2.15]

Ballistics technician: A gun so loved it had to have its own license.

Dr. Olivet: He was probably traumatized by the incident.

Robinette: Not enough to stay away from guns.

Vengeance [2.16]

Robinette: Eye for an eye's worked for thousands of years.

Sara: [about her husband, an accused serial killer] I loved him. I didn't know.

Stone: Didn't know what?

Sara: That he was an animal.

Stone: I don't know. I think 25 to life is pretty good.

Robinette: I know tw0 people that would call it a gift.

Stone: [handing him a newspaper] Maybe this would cheer them up.

Robinette: The obituaries?

Stone: Richard Speck murdered eight nurses and died in prison. He was 49. Cheney's 42.

Sisters of Mercy [2.17]

[A nun has been accused of child molestation; Dr. Olivet has interviewed the alleged victim]

Dr. Olivet: There's a lot of pain there. I don't think it's an act.

Logan: Great. So we move on a nun.

Logan: Don't nuns have curfews?

Sister Bettina: That went out with the penguin suit.

Cradle to Grave [2.18]

Boxer's Lawyer: It's entrapment. You offered a bribe.

Robinette: You can lead a horse to water, you can't make him steal it.

Stone: Sir, please explain the facts of life to your client

Attorney: What? The birds, the bees, the penal code?

The Fertile Fields [2.19]

Stone: Banks kill with a thousand cuts, not a blow to the head.

Captain Cragen: [about a case] Mike, I've had week-old flounder that smelled better than this!

Intolerance [2.20]

Reily: Half the smack in the country blows through here. You seen a lot of arrests lately?

Cerreta: Well, maybe they’re paying you off.

Reily: Oh yeah, millions. My mortgage is a front.

Stone: Tomorrow's Post. Says we're negotiating a plea. No attribution.

Schiff: Dragging us to the altar.

Stone: And I don't like shotgun weddings.

Judge Torledsky: Docket #51423. The People vs. Marian Borland and Randall Borland. The charge is murder in the se ... What's happening? Didn't I already see this case on my docket?

Robinette: People's motion charges against a previous defendant were dismissed, Your Honor. The People regret their error.

Judge Torledsky: Regret? We're talking about murder, Mr. Robinette. You oughta publish an apology in The Times. How do the defendants plead?

Marian: Not guilty.

Randy: Not guilty.

Judge Torledsky: I'll hear a few spirited words on the subject of bail. [to the defense attorney] Leonard, it's nice to see you. Please be brief.

Leonard: Thank you, Judge. Nice to see you, too. My clients are not a flight risk. They're bound to the community, and any high bail would be a hardship.

Judge Torledsky: Mr. Robinette?

Robinette: The People request $50,000 on each defendant. Flight is not an issue, but the severity of the crime...

Judge Torledsky: Go no further. When you're right, you're right. And, Leonard, he's right. This is Murder Two. 50,000 each defendant.

Silence [2.21]

Colson: Why the hell else would he pay me?

Logan: I don’t know. Blackmail comes to mind.

Colson: You obviously don't have enough evidence to arrest me. Which means you don't have enough to insult me, either.

Stone: My father wanted me to be a doctor. I went so far as to study organic chemistry.

Schiff: What happened?

Stone: I grew up.

The Working Stiff [2.22]

Judge Berman: I'm getting behind here, counselor. May I ask why Mr. Vilanis refuses to enter a plea?

Cantwell: He wants to represent himself.

Judge Berman: I hate pro se cases. Did he bring his own soapbox, or does he expect the court to provide one?

Schiff: You look like the messenger who’s afraid he’s going to be killed.

Stone: I'm afraid the message might kill the recipient.

[Corcoran is being led out of the courtroom, where reporters are waiting]

Schiff: [to the bailiff] Take him out by the back stairs.

Corcoran: Thank you, Adam. I could use a friend.

Schiff: You always did, Dwight. That was the problem.