Home on the Range (2004 film)

2004 American animated Western musical comedy film produced by Walt Disney Feature Animation

Home on the Range is a 2004 animated film from Walt Disney Pictures about three dairy cows in the American west of Wyoming who must capture an infamous cattle rustler named Alameda Slim for his bounty in order to save their idyllic farm from foreclosure. Aiding them in their quest is Lucky Jack, a feisty, peg-legged Jackrabbit, but a selfish chestnut mustang stallion named Buck, eagerly working in the service of Rico, a famous bounty hunter, seeks the glory for himself.


[The cowboys are attacked by the Willie Brothers]
Mrs. Calloway: What was that?
Grace: That must be Slim and the Willies.
Longhorns: [freaking out] Slim and the Willies!
Bob: [to Mrs. Calloway, mistaking her for Grace] Don't worry, darlin', I'll protect you.
Mrs. Calloway: You have exactly two seconds to remove your hoof...before I snap it off at the knee.
Bob: Sorry, ma'am. I thought you were the blonde—
[She whacks him, sending him to the ground]

[Alameda Slim arrives]
Maggie: It's payback time. Cover me!
Grace: With what?
The Willie Brothers: Howdy, Slim.
Alameda Slim: Quiet, you fools. We've got work to do. [singing] Now listen up! There are crooks in this here West who have claimed to be the best, an' think they wrote the book on how to rustle. Well, as good as they may be, not a one's as good as me, an' I barely have to move a single muscle! They call me mean, boys, depraved and nasty too, and they ain't seen, boys, the cruelest thing I do! You see, I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odel! The sweetest way of rustlin' yet devised! 'Cause when I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odel, Why, looky how them cows get hypnotized!
Bill: He don't prod
Phill: He don't yell
Gill: Still he drives them dogies well
The Willie Brothers: Which ain't easy when your chaps are labeled XXXXL!
Alameda Slim: Yes, if you're lookin' from a bovine point of view, I sure can yodel-adle-eedle-idle, Odel-adle-eedle-idle, Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo! Here we go, boys! Five thousand cattle in the side pocket! [Yodels "William Tell Overture", "Yankee Doodle" and "Beethoven's Ode to Joy"] Yes, I can yodel-adle-eedle-odel!
Grace: Maggie, Mrs. Calloway, snap out of it!
The Willie Brothers: A sound them cattle truly take to heart!
Alameda Slim: Yeah, I can yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odel-adle-eedle-idle-odel! An' smack my big ol' rump if that ain't art!
Gill: [hit the Grace] He don't rope
Bill: Not a chance!
Phill: [Girls screamingly] He just puts 'em in a trance
The Willie Brothers: He's a pioneer Pied Piper in ten-gallon underpants!
Alameda Slim: Yep! I'm the real rip-roarin' deal to those who moo! Thanks to my yodel-adle-eedle-idle, Odel-adle-eedle-idle, I got cattle out the ol' wazoo! 'Cause I can yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo! Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo! [Slim cacking and girls screaming]

Alameda Slim: [laughing] 5,000 Texas Longhorns. Not bad for one night's work.
Phil: Pick a color. [He and Bill are playing with a cootie catcher]
Alameda Slim: I said, not bad for one night's work. [Phil and Bill pay attention to Slim and clap] Thank you. And judging by the ear mark, I'd say these are the last of Big Mike Donald's herd.
Gil: Big Mike Donald had a farm?
Phil and Bill: E-l-E-l... [Slim bashes them on the heads with his fists] Ohh...
Alameda Slim: That's right. He had a farm. [He goes to his dressing screen stock and puts on his Yancy O'Del disguise] Now that all his cash cows have disappeared, that poor sap's gonna be flat broke. Perfect time for a certain upstanding land owner to step in and take all the land.
Phil: [screams] Who are you?!
Bill: What did you do with Uncle Slim?!
Phil: Put up your dukes, Mr. Fancy Britches! [Slim grabs his fingers] Aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah!
Alameda Slim: It's me. Hello! [Slim takes off the glasses and the blue top hat and holding a cane] This here is the disguise I use to sneak into all them auctions and buy all the land, you brainless monotone monkeys.
Gil: Shoot, you got to be the richest land baron in the the west. [Phil and Bill clap]
Alameda Slim: Yes, but the part that really warms my heart is watching those homesteaders suffer. [He grabs a branding iron and brands Mike Donald's Farm and the Dixon Farm on the map] Back in the day, I worked the highfalutinest ranches you ever seen, but those stuck-up ranch bosses couldn't appreciate my talents.
Phil: Maybe they just didn't like your singing.
Alameda Slim: My singing?! [Bill cover's Phil's mouth] Songbirds sing. Saloon gals sing. Little bitty snot-nosed children sing. I yodel! And yodeling IS AN ART!!!!
Bill: Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodeling.
[Phil cover's Bill's mouth and Slim tries to hit them with his branding iron, but misses them when they duck]
Gil: He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim. Everybody likes yodeling.
Alameda Slim: Hmm?
Gil: Why, it's one of the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds in the whole west.
[Slim tries to hit Gil with his branding iron, but misses as Gil ducks, then Slim sees Patch of Heaven on the map as it's unauctioned as he twitches]
Alameda Slim: Uh, Gil?
Gil: Uh-huh?
Alameda Slim: Am I correct in assuming that each and every time we brought a herd back to this secret lair you've managed to sit in the exact same spot, perhaps blocking that choice piece of property from my view?!
Gil: This is my comfy place. [beat] What? [Slim grabs him by the neck as he unintelligible gets choked on]
Phil: It's called Patch of Heaven, Uncle Slim. Goes on auction Thursday morning.
Alameda Slim: [his fury quickly replaced by eagerness] Perfect! [He hits Gil on the head with his branding iron and lets him go] Pencil it in. Thursday morning... right after we sell off this herd.
Bill: But it's just a little old dirt farm.
Alameda Slim: Ah, what's the difference? When you're talking revenge, every last acre counts. [He brands Patch of Heaven on the map with his branding iron]

[Mrs. Calloway saves Maggie from drowning during the flash flood and drags her to a nearby rock on the shore]
Maggie: No! Come on, girls, we can't give up!
Mrs. Calloway Maggie, that's enough. The minute this lets up, we're heading straight home to Patch of Heaven.
Maggie: But what about catching Slim and collecting the reward?
Mrs. Calloway: We never had a prayer of catching Slim in the first place. This whole ridiculous plan is just so you can get revenge on those cattle rustlers.
Maggie: Hey! For your information, duchess, this whole ridiculous plan is about us saving our farm.
Mrs. Calloway: Huh. Our farm might've had a fighting chance until you came along.
Maggie: What's that supposed to mean?!
Mrs. Calloway: Strutting around with your vulgar show-cow behavior.
Maggie: Look, I was just having...
Mrs. Calloway: Wasting our time on your foolish plans. Through the years, Patch of Heaven has survived every hardship that nature can dish out, but you, Maggie, are the biggest catastrophe to ever hit our farm.
Maggie: Well, if that's the way you feel about it, maybe we should just go our separate ways.
Mrs. Calloway: Now, that's the first good idea you've ever had.
Maggie: Fine.
Mrs. Calloway: Fine.
Maggie: Fine!
Mrs. Calloway: Fine! [Sits down as Grace looks sadly at the two of them]
Maggie: Yeah. Fine. It's not like your farm was ever gonna feel like home to me anyways.

Sheriff Sam Brown: Alameda Slim, you're under arrest! [Slim muffled "Let go or get us killed!"]
Grace: Nobody messes with pearls, girls. [to Buck]
Buck: Say, girls, got milk?
Maggie, Mrs. Calloway, and Grace: Buck!
Buck: Just kidding.


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