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Futurama: Bender's Game

2008 film by Dwayne Carey-Hill

Bender's Game is a 2008 direct-to-DVD animated film based on the Futurama series.

Fry

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  • When will young people learn that playing "Dungeons and Dragons" doesn't make you cool!
  • [after arriving in Cornwood] Where the hell are we? Hell?
  • [Climbing through chicken hatch] This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the chickens.
  • Have you seen Bender? He's gone crazy! [Holding a carton] Also, smell this milk.
  • All right, I may be weak and I may be small, but I don't see how I can possibly destroy that monster.
  • There’s so many killbots behind us, I can’t count them all. Three, I think.
  • That blade missed me by the skin of my pants. [A shot of Fry’s behind reveals his pants ripped.]

Bender

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  • Hey that punk stole our hood ornament! Now no one will know we have the LX Package!
  • [after the ship starts again] There's gas in our ass!
  • I know not of this "Bender"! I am Titanius Anglesmith, Fancy Man of Cornwood!
  • Finally, we made it out of that godforsaken cave! So what's the fastest way home, back through the cave?
  • Methinks we be boned.

Others

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  • Igner: [repeated line] We're owl exterminators.
  • Leegola: Onward brave cowards!
  • George Takei: [at the Space Demolition Derby] Way to kill the franchise, Bakula!
  • Dr. Perceptron: [Bender is in a group therapy session involving being hit in the head by hammers] Now Stop! Hammertime!
  • Roberto: [Repeated line] BOOKALEEMOOKALEE!
  • Rosie the Robot Maid: Everything must be clean. Very clean. That's why the dog had to die. He was a dirty dog. Dirty. Dirty. Also that boy Elroy. Dirty. Dirty.
  • The Swamp Hag: [repeated line] Get out of my swamp, you kids!
  • Titanius: Me thinks we be boned.
  • Roberto: You're not made of Tuesday!
  • Professor: There's just one small problem, and it's a big one.
  • Greyfarn: Fear not Titanius for we still have one hope, the Cave of Hopelessness!
  • Professor: Everybody out of the conference room! I'm calling a conference! [to all, in an adjacent room] Everybody get in here!
  • Roberto: I was built by a team of scientists, trying to create an insane robot...but it looks like they failed!
  • Scary Door Announcer: In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
  • Morcs: [chanting] Eat the wizard, eat the slut, eat the robot's shiny butt!
  • Greyfarn: Alas, Frydo's weakness was no match for the dices power.
  • Hermaphrodite: Your friends soon face certain death, followed by a disrespectful marionette show performed with their corpses.

Dialogue

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Dr. Perceptron: I was in your seat, I forgot that we had changed places
Mad Hatterbot: CHANGE PLACES?
Bender: Watcha doin', mini-meatbags? Underage gambling? Shame on you. Count me in! [puts money on desk]
Dwight: We're not gambling, we're playing "Dungeons and Dragons!"
Morcs (Singing): Eat the wizard, Eat the Slut, Eat the Robot Shiny butt.
Gynecaladriel (Amy): Well at least we'll be remember by song.
Titanius (Bender): Wait a second, I have an idea. [seizes his comrades] I surrender! Here, eat my friends! Just give me one more second of sweet, sweet life!
Dragon Fry: So it comes down to this, a dungeon, and dragons!
Zoidberg: I didn't see it coming.
Titanius Anglesmith: [to Roberto as king of Wipecastle] Oh great king, your army is the last hope of Cornwood. Let us join forces, before the light of good is extinguished forever!
Roberto: You calling me crazy!? Just coz I got a hotel in my foot don't make me a BOOGALEE-MOOGALEE-MOOGALEE!!
Titanius: Pardon?
Roberto: [draws sword] Stop laughing at me, flyin' avocado! [shrieking while stabbing]
Titanius: [after talking with king of wipe castle] Okay, since I'm the only robot here who isn't [makes crazy noises with his finger on his mouth], I declare myself leader of the royal army!
Guard 1: What royal army might that be?
Titanius: Huh?
Guard 2: When the king went insane, he declared war on scallops, so he tied the army to a boat and sent them out to sea. They were never seen again!
Guard 1: Scallops musta got em.
Fry: Hey Professor can I ask you something about Bender?
Professor: Of course Fry, show me where on this anatomically correct doll where he touched you.
[Fry and Leela end up on a fantasy planet and Leela comes out as a centaur ]
Leegola [Leela]: Oh, Lord, I'm half-horse and half-naked.
Leegola: What else can we slay? Is that a Hobbit over there?
Titanius [Bender]: No, that's a hobo and a rabbit, but they're making a hobbit.
Frydo [Fry]: So this land is real?
Greyfarn [Professor]: Oh, dreadfully real. If you die here you'll really be dead. But instead of science we believe in crazy hocus pocus. It's sort of like Kansas.
Leegola: God help us.
[As the professor recognizes Mom's sons]
Professor: Walt, the leader among imbeciles!
Walt: Hey, they resent that!
Professor: Larry, the sniveling middle child.
Larry: [nervously] Sorry. Thank you.
Professor: And you, Igner. The evil I can tolerate. But the stupidity.
Igner: We're owl exterminators.
Professor: Good God! Just knowing we're in the same genus makes me embarrassed to call myself homo! [children laugh]
[Greyfarn (Professor Farnsworth) and Ignus (Igner) are dueling with lightsabers]
Ignus: Mommy never told you about my father.
Greyfarn: She said he was a foul He-demon.
Ignus: Exactly. You are my father.
Greyfarn: No. No, that's impossible.
Ignus: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
Greyfarn: No, no!
Ignus: Yah-hah. I heard Mommy say so.
Dr. Perceptron: I will now delicately jerk out your imagination, severing fantasy's grip on your nerd-circuit.
[the dark matter resonance appears and Bender begins to fade into nothingness]
Bender: [as he disappears] Coooooornwooooooooooooood!
Dr. Perceptron: Illogical. Illogical. Computational overload.
Nurse Ratchet: But doctor, I love you.
[Dr. Perceptron smashes his own head]
Computer Voice: (alarm sound) Warning. Out of dark matter fuel.
Leela: That's not a warning! A warning's supposed come before something bad happens.
Computer Voice: (alarm sound) Warning. Engines will shut down in one second.
Leela: That's more like it.
Professor: Who did this? Answer now or be punished.
Leela: Fine, I admit it. It was me.
Professor: You will be punished!
Zoidberg: Amy, cancel my appointments.
Amy: [on intercom] Stop calling me!
Hermes: As a result of these losses, we will no longer be providing complimentary porno mags in the lobby.
Scruffy: Durnit.
Walt: How was the interview, mother?
Mom: It made me want to puke my face off!

See also

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