Futurama: Bender's Big Score
2007 film by Dwayne Carey-Hill
Futurama: Bender's Big Score is a 2007 straight-to-DVD animated film based on the Futurama series. Directed by Dwayne-Carey Hill. Written by Ken Keeler, based on a story by Keeler and David X. Cohen.
- I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen.
- Sweet photons. I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth!
- Here's your Gutenberg Bible, masters, plus the Colonel's Secret Recipe: Chicken, Grease, Salt!
- 001100010010011110100001101101110011
- Hasta la vista, Meatbag!
- Must obey orders. Ohhhhh. Mustn't kill friend!! Ohhhhhh! Badly want to urinate!!!!!
- [monotone] Entering auto destruct sequence. [normal] Awww crap, I hate auto destruct sequence! [monotone] Explosion in 7, 6,-- [Fry's duplicate kicks Bender's duplicate who stumbles back into a cryotube, Fry turns the control to one million years]
- [monotone] 5-- [normal] Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things! [Gets frozen]
- Fry old buddy, it's me, Bender! [blows up Fry's apartment]
- While I was hacking off the Professor's hand with an extremely dull saw, I had time to think. Who could use a doomsday device more, the scammers, or me, Bender? After several minutes of steady sawing, I had the answer. Me, Bender!
- Hey ! I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do.
- [monotone]--4, 3, 2, [normal voice] 1, BOOM! [Nothing happens. Bender laughs] Woah! [he explodes, killing Nudar and Lars]
- Well, we're boned!
- [sarcastically] Oh, hooray. It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars.
- But she needs what'll make her happy, not what'll make me happy.
- Without my body I'm a nobody.
- Kiss my front butt!
- [Considering what to wear on her date with Lars] Ooh, I think I'll wear that slutty dress I've been saving for Easter!
Lars
edit- Sir, you're just a little enraged because you're dying. Up and away!
- Wait for me, Leela! I'll be there in a thousand years!
- I'm sciencing as fast as I can!
- I can wire anything directly into anything - I'm The Professor!
- In his (Hermes') absence I am calling a mandatory company meeting. To the mandatorium!
Nibbler
edit- Everyone out of the universe! Quick!
- There, I saved the space-time continuum and 40% of your rectum.
- I'm a surgeon; when I see two body parts I sew them together and see what happens!
Others
edit- Barbados Slim: You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim. Now goodbye forever.
- Zapp Brannigan: We fight this battle not for ourselves, but for our children, and our children's children, which is why I'm forming a children's brigade.
- Al Gore: [in the year 2012] That hundred dollars could have gotten me...one gallon of gas. [ominous music]
- Al Gore: Finally! I get to save the Earth with deadly lasers instead of deadly slide shows.
Dialogue
edit- Professor Farnsworth: Yes? I see… [hangs up phone] Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence. [The crew cheers] And not just fired, but beaten up, too…and pretty badly. [The crew cheers doubtfully] In fact, most of them died from their injuries. [The crew remains silent. Bender laughs] And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder.
- Fry: Why?
- Professor Farnsworth: Oh, it's got a million and one uses. [Pours some down his pants] Ah, that soothes the fire.
- Hermes: What's the matter, robot? You got a rod up your spine?
- Bender: Yes, I do. That's how I'm built.
- [Fry has just reappeared in the 31st Century, after Bender apparently killed him in 2012.]
- Bender: Fry! You're not dead! Unless...
- [Bender punches Fry in the stomach.]
- Bender: No, he's not a zombie. But I don't want people to think I'm incompetent, so I'd better kill you just to be sure.
- [Bender pulls out a croquet mallet, and prepares to swing it at Fry. The Professor pulls it out of his hands.]
- Professor Farnsworth: Bender! Stop killing for a minute!
- [Nudar is threatening Scruffy with a gun.]
- Nudar: [to Bender] You! Read the code or I'll shoot this guy!
- Bender: Who the hell is he?
- Scruffy: I'm Scruffy, the janitor.
- Bender: Hang on, Scruffy!
- Leela: What is the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass?
- Fry: It was bound to be somewhere.
- Nibbler: Alas, our Kitten-class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs. The universe is doomed, doomed!
- Fry: Can I pull up my pants now?
- Nibbler: Doomed!
- [Bender shows up with the incomplete Mona Lisa from the past.]
- Bender: Sorry, it's not quite finished.
- Schlump: Da Vinci give you any trouble?
- Bender: Let's just say he might not make it to The Last Supper.
- Professor Farnsworth: Time travel is impossible!
- Fry: But Professor, you time traveled yourself remember? When we went back to Roswell?
- Professor Farnsworth: That proves nothing! And furthermore, you'd think I could remember a thing like that; plus, who are you anyway?
- [Hermes has discovered that his head was attached backwards.]
- Hermes: You incompetent crab!
- Dr. Zoidberg: I thought you were happy, your tail was wagging.
- Amy: Ahh, don't blame yourself, Bender.
- Bender: I don't blame myself, I blame all of you!
- Amy: Us? How can you possibly blame us!?
- Bender: It ain't easy, it just proves how great I am.
- Bender: [shivering] It's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency.
- Leela: What are you, a whining machine?
- Fry: I don't get it. How can you say Lars is more mature than me?
- Leela: Well, for one thing his checkbook doesn't have The Hulk on it.
- Leela: I can't command this many ships.
- Hermes: Perhaps I can help. Professor, can you wire my head directly into the battlegrid?
- Professor Farnsworth: I can wire anything directly into anything. I'm the Professor!
- Hermes: Then prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action!
- Fry: It's foolproof! They can't sign the marriage license if I give them a pen with NO INK!
- Bender: [sarcastic] Yeah, 'cause once they try to sign the license, all hell'll break loose. [Bender turns away and mutters] Oy vey.
- [The scammers are threatening the planet express crew with Professor Farnsworth's Sphero-Boom]
- Nudar: So what'll it be, unconditional surrender -
- Leela: Never!
- Nudar: - Or total destruction?
- Leela: Also never!
- Nudar: You have thirty seconds - make up your minds!
- Leela: NEVER!
- [Leela is shouting orders during the battle to reclaim Earth]
- Leela: Unit 10 - Target H, 16K - niner, niner! Go left - I mean right!
- Sal: Whoas!
- Leela: 55U, 8R, 2P!
- Professor Farnsworth: [Speaking to Hattie McDoogal] BINGO!
- [Nibbler attempts to stop the scammers from using the time code.]
- Nibbler: Stop, you fool!
- Leela: Nibbler, you can talk?!
- Nibbler: I can do more than talk; I can pontificate!
- Lars: Hello, everyone who isn't Leela! And a special hello to everyone else!
- Hermes: Shut your lockers and get to class!
- Fry: Can you save Hermes "Doctor Good and Sexy?"
- Dr. Cahill: I told you my name is Doctor Cahill.
- Hermes: Figures I had to get mingled while the blonde bimbo is on duty.
- Dr. Cahill: I am a doctor, sir. The mere fact that I am blonde and have a breathy voice, full, sensual lips, and a steaming hot body doesn't make me a bimbo.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Tell me about it.
- Hermes: I think we've all learned a thing or two about sexual stereotypes while my head's slowly dying because I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo!
- Dr. Cahill: Oh. Right. Ditzy Witzy!
- [Professor Farnsworth is considering selling some of his doomsday devices to Hedonismbot]
- Professor Farnsworth: Ooh, be careful!
- Hedonismbot: I shan't touch them 'till I've had Djambi lock the absinthe and ether away. Ooh, what does this one do? [Hedonismbot grabs one of the doomsday devices]
- Professor Farnsworth: Uh, that one kills everything everywhere.
- Hedonismbot: Delightful! [Hedonismbot accidentally knocks the device from the shelf.] And this one?
- Professor Farnsworth: Sir, the Sphero-Boom is not for sale, it's my sentimental favorite.
- Hedonismbot: No need to explain, I too have known unconventional love.
- Marine Biologist: Leelu is a rare toothed female narwhal who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, as we all do from time to time...
- [Fry is recounting how he survived his trip to the past.]
- Fry: Oh, it's an astonishing tale of incredibleness. It all began went I went back in time.
- Professor Farnsworth: Duh!
- [Nudar is ordering Bender to kill Fry]
- Nudar: You know what to do.
- Bender: You want me to concludify him, like some sort of dispatcherator?
- Nudar: Yes, and don't forget to terminate him.
- [Nudar is telling Bender how to steal the Sphero-Boom from the professor.]
- Nudar: You'll need jeweller's tools and foot cup silencers.
- Bender: Hey, I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do!
- Nudar: Hey, that's perfect! We sit back and let Dumb-Dumb here do the stealing!
- Bender: Dumb-Dumb away!
- Professor Farnsworth: If Hermes were here, he’d fire you all!
- Hermes’ head: I am here!
- Professor Farnsworth: Quiet you. In his absence, I’m calling a mandatory company security seminar. To the mandatorium!
- Nudar: Faster, faster!
- Professor Farnsworth: I’m sciencing as fast as I can
- Lars: I'm not afraid of you or your expensive gun! Go ahead and shoot!
- Nudar: [pointing his gun at Leela] Oh, yeah? Then what if I kill the woman you love?
- Leela: Don't you understand, numb-neck? He doesn't love me!
- Lars: [crying] I've... always loved you. Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code.
- Bender: [last lines] Well, we're boned!
See also
editExternal links
edit
- Bender's Big Score quotes at the Internet Movie Database