Ed, Edd n Eddy (season 5)

The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of Ed, Edd, n Eddy.

Mission Ed-Possible

Ed: Panicking, Eddy!

Every Which Way But Ed

[Last lines; Ed had accidentally swallowed Eddy while eating a TV set]

Edd: Good Lord! I'm gonna be ill! [runs into his house]

Eddy: [in Ed's mouth] Remember something stupid?! Remember?!

Boom Boom Out Goes the Ed

Jimmy: WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!

[All the kids got thrown into a panic, and started to run around screaming]

Rolf: Rolf knows that soil and water creates water and entertainment.

Kevin: You Mean, like a generator?

Rolf: Is this a test?

Cleanliness is next to Edness

Edd: [after getting more dirty] The milk of human kindness has abandoned me! [cries]

Out With the Old, In With the Ed

Edd: [shellshocked] My school supplies! Gone! Pillaged! Plundered! [backs away from the empty closet] It can't be! [covers his eyes and then looks again] IT CAN'T BE!!! [falls to the ground, a quivering mess. He then stands up and pulls something from the seat of his pants] A highlighter pen? [looks at it] How am I supposed to take notes with a highlighter-

Ed: [jolly] Double D, can I have your hat?!

Edd: [sarcastically] Oh, sure! Why not?! Why would I need a hat WHEN SCHOOL IS NOW TOTALLY OUT OF THE QUESTION?!?! [throttles Ed and throws him on top of Eddy. Then has an idea] Wait! You still have it, don't you? From your parents, yes? The back-to-school-sale coupon?

Ed: Haven't got a clue what you're talking about, Double D! All I got is a back-to-school-sale coupon from my parents. [pulls it out of his jacket]

Eddy: That stupid thing's worthless! The signs are as clear as the gap in your teeth, Sockhead. School ain't meant to be. 'Cause it's Summer baby! [does a knee slide. His apron now reads "I ♥ Summer"]

Edd: [running to Ed] Ed, please! I beg of you! I can't be at an academic disadvantage! [Ed accidentally head butts him] Ouch. Without my school supplies, my grades are sure to plummet! [crouches on the floor, in tears as Ed flosses using the coupon] That coupon you're flossing with can procure the supplies to cross that desolate desert of scholastic learning!

Eddy: Oh puh-leeze.

Ed: Sounds good to me, whatever you just said!

Edd: [smiles and drags a pantsless Ed out into the rain] Quickly, Ed! We have shopping to do!

Eddy: [apron now reading "School Stinks"] Oh c'mon, guys! Forget school, will ya?! [turns red] SUMMER AIN'T OVER! [throws off his apron. A breeze comes along and chills him; turning blue] Brr!

I Am Curious Ed

Ed: Head's stayed on, Double D!

No Speak da Ed

Edd: Hurry, Eddy! Someone's Absconded with Ed! [Ed is pulled under a fence into Rolf's yard] Oh, Ed?

Eddy: Hey, Lumpy!

Edd: [turns off the Faucet who was dripping water] Waste not, cannot-

[Suddenly, the faucet begins to Rattle. It flips apart. And the ground gives away Edd and Eddy, sending them tumbling down stairs]

Cool Hand Ed

[Edd has refused to partake in Eddy's plan of breaking out of school]

Eddy: Oh yes you do, or Ed here will write your locker combination on the girls' bathroom wall!

Edd: You wouldn't dare!

[Ed then sharpens a pencil using his mouth]

Too Smart For His Own Ed

Edd: [as Eddy tears up a book] What are you doing to that poor defenseless dictionary?!

Eddy: Ed's cramming for the spelling bee. [continues to stuff pages into Ed's ears] Feeling smarter, Ed?

Ed: [spewing out loose sheets as he speaks] What?

Pick an Ed

Edd: Have you ever had one of those days, Ed?

Ed: Every day of my life, Double D.

Truth or Ed

Ed: This Bubble Bathbel is a smart guy.

Eddy: It's Bobby Blabby, idiot.

---

Kevin: [hold Edd above the printer] Better spill the beans, Mr. Editor, or you're paper pulp!

Edd: I have no idea what you're talking about!

[Rolf shows him the paper]

Kevin: Who wrote this stuff?!

Edd: [reading] "Miniature aliens?" "Hairy legs?" "Lost cities" and..."spandex bicycle shorts"? Who indeed is this Bobby Blabby? [Eddy sneaks towards the door with the money hat clamped on his head] Eddy? Care to explain?

Eddy: What? Uh...couldn't tell ya. Sounds like a jerk. [lets go of the hat and the coins fall out of it]

Ed: You dropped your loot, Bibby Boo-boo.

Eddy: IT'S BOBBY BLABBY! GET IT RIGHT! [covers his mouth] Oops.

This Won't Hurt An Ed

[Last lines; Ed has brought Eddy over to the medical room for an injection]

Eddy: Hey! Let me go! Untie me!

Ed: I found him the science cupboard pretending to be a stuffed beaver, Double-D.

Edd: The nurse thanks you, Eddy.

Eddy: Oh Yeah? What for?

Edd: For helping Kevin conquer his fear of needles by allowing him to witness the safe and easy administration of a real booster shot.

Eddy: Oh no you don't! Not me! [tries to run away]

Ed: [catches Eddy] Worry not, little man. Because you get to have a lollypop after. [drags Eddy to the medical room]

Eddy: Mommy.

Kevin: Sweet.

Eddy : But...No! Don't do it! I'm too young!

Ed: Needle?!?! [runs out of the medical room, but comes back to pick up his lollypop]

Eddy: I hate Needles!

[Kevin is heard laughing whilst Ed walks off with his lollypop in his mouth]

Tight End Ed

Edd : It's not how you win or lose, it's how you play.

'Tween a Rock and an Ed Place

Edd: It's all fun and games 'til Ed loses conciousness, Eddy.

All Eds Are Off

Eddy: [angry] Great! So I end up with a detention because of your stupid eating habits! [puts is on Ed's Chest]

Ed: Is it that time already? Ooh, gravy cakes! Yum. [pulls some from the inside of his jacket]

Edd: Excuse me, Ed, but don't you feel this daily diet of gravy may become detrimental to your health?

[Ed stares at Edd happily as the bus departs]

Eddy: [fed up] I swear he's obsessed with the stuff! It's stashed here- [pulls up Ed's shirt, revealing five gravy boats taped to his chest] –hides it there– [pulls off Ed's left shoe and gravy flows out] I bet you couldn't go a lousy day without your lousy gravy, Ed!

Ed: Says you. [drinks from a thermos of gravy]

Eddy: [in Ed's ear] SO PROVE IT!!!!

Ed: [clutching his ears] AAAAH! YOUR VOICE IS LIKE TOOTHPICKS IN MY DRUMSTICKS, EDDY!

Edd: I agree, Ed. I've always wished Eddy could communicate in a tone of voice that didn't rattle the timbers of every house in a four-block vicinity.

[Eddy becomes steamed]

Ed: [to the camera] Don't touch that dial, kids.

Eddy: [angrilly] And what about YOU, Mr. Encyclopediac?! I bet I could stop yelling way before you could stop using those big fancy-schmancy words of yours!

Jonny: Plank says Double D would go wacky if he only used words with one syllable!

Eddy: Ha! Even the doorstop's got you pegged!

Kevin: [across the aisle] Aww, Dork, Dorkk and Dorky are having a little tiff. Ain't it precious? [he and Nazz laugh] What dorks.

Rolf: Always with this duck word, yes, Kevin-boy? Rolf would wager his love of mammal flesh and 25 cents that you cannot renounce this label for the mixed-nuts Ed-boys.

Eddy: [interested by the prospect of cash] Twenty-five cents?!

Kevin: [miffed] What? I can give up saying dork just like that. [snaps his fingers]

Eddy: [moves to a seat by Jonny] Think you could go a whole day without that chunk of termite food telling you what to do?

Jonny: [nervous] Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy, Eddy. Right, Plank?

Eddy: Sounds like we got ourselves a bet. So whadadya say, boys? Ya in or what?

Kevin: I'm in. [joins hands with Eddy]

Rolf: Rolf will partake. [puts his hand on top]

Jonny: This is gonna be a hoot! [puts his hand on top]

Ed: [puts his foot on top] No gravy, or bust!

Edd: [lays a napkin over Ed's foot so he won't dirty his hand] Very well, then. I welcome the challenge to my vast resource of the English word.

Kevin: Yo, Nazz. Want in on this action?

Nazz: [refusing] As if.

Edd: Then may the best, ahem, gentleman, win.

[The stack of hands breaks]

---

Eddy: Let's see here...Con-she-enn-shus?...What kinda bunk word is that? [Edd looks uncomfortable, trying not to correct Eddy] Ohhhh...here's another one...temper-a-mental... [Edd fidgets] I dunno about you, but that's just plain stupid.

Edd: [can't take it] STOP!!!!!! [snatches the dictionary away, holds it protectively] I will not tolerate your singlehanded annihilation of the English language for your own monetary gain, Eddy! [pauses in horror, drops the dictionary, and covers his mouth, realizing he just lost his bet]

[Eddy just grins, as if it were too easy]

Smile For the Ed

Ed: Don't touch that dial, kids.

Edd: Good Afternoon, Peach Creek Jr. High. This is your principal speaking with a very important announcement. All copies of student Eddy's photographs are to be returned to him immediately. This will leave to comply a well-warned detention for the rest of the semester. Thank You.

Kevin: Bummer.

Eddy: You heard the man.

Edd: Did I just do that? I did, didn't I? I just impersonated the Principal! Made false declarations in his name! Ohhh what have I done?

Run, Ed, Run

Ed [to Eddy]: Run! Hide! Retreat! The sky is falling! The sky is falling, Eddy! It hit me on the head. It did.

Eddy: You're probably just growing a brain there, lumpy.

---

Edd: We hit the sky?! [the sky cracks] This isn't possible!

[A "piece" of the sky falls]

Eddy: Ed was right. The sky is falling.

Ed: [proudly] Thank you very much.

Eddy: So, now what do we do?

Edd: I'm afraid we're just about to find out, Eddy.

[The sky breaks, causing the Eds to fall down screaming]

A Town Called Ed

[The TV spits static as Kevin unsuccessfully tries changing channels. The picture resolves to a fake outdoor fireplace]

Eddy: [offscreen] Go on, get in there.

Edd: [prances onscreen, dressed like a pilgrim] Um...good morrow to thee. I'm about to share with thou fellow villagers the tale of Fort Peach Creek. Let us–begin, shall we?

Sarah: I hate public access.

[Kevin tries unsuccessfully to change the channel]

Edd: A long time ago, Peach Creek was buteth an untamed wilderness of towering trees, torrid waters, and savage beasts.

Ed: [wearing a moose cap, leaps out from behind a fake bush] Cock-a-doodle doo! I am a salvaged moose! Bleaugh! [walks offscreen]

Edd: [takes center stage once more] Oh, regardeth over the horizon, for the hero of our epic tale doth approach.

Eddy: [appears, pretending to tow a tiny wagon which, by perspective, looks large] I have come from afar and shall claim this wilderness as our own! [Ed, clueless, stands in front of the camera] Hark ye, o' savage moose, moveth along, or be turned into moose chops, hear ye?

[Ed doesn't move, so Eddy flicks his eyes]

Ed: This landeth is your landeth o' great shorteth one.

[Edd gives Ed a flag]

Eddy: Yes, this land is fulleth of peachy fuzzy fruits, and for this reason I claimeth this place as Fort Peach Creek.

[The hill of leaves collapses, and he snaps the flag]

Edd: And...there...you'll...haveth...it.

Ed: Cock-a-doodle doo!

A Fistful Of Ed

Eddy: [to the Kanker Sisters, who are harassing Edd] HEY! [the Kankers turn around and look at him] HE'S! HAD! ENOUGH, ALREADY!!! Beat it!

[The Kankers look nervous for a moment, then put Edd down and walk away without argument]

Ed: [surprised] Good one, Eddy.

Eddy: [still angry] Vultures!