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Ed, Edd, n Eddy (season 1)

season of television series

The following is a list of quotes from the first season of Ed, Edd, n Eddy.

The Ed-TouchablesEdit

Eddy: You know what they say: A little childhood trauma builds character.

Eddy: "Hey guys! What's big, round, and costs a nickel?"
Ed and Edd: "Jawbreakers!"
Eddy: "And away we go…"
[Sarah and Jimmy get in his way]
Sarah: "Now just a rotten minute! I Found my dolly, under my bed!"
Jimmy: "It's true, and here she is, see?"

Nagged To EdEdit

[The Eds are in the forest, only to hear echoes of some voices of some mysteriously haunting spooks that scare them]
Spooks [Off-screen]: (giggling) Ed, Edd n Eddy - sittin in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!

Eddy: [looking at the Kankers' artwork of them and the Eds] "Look! Artwork! It's 'Ed and May'! How cute!"
Edd: [saw a picture with him with Marie] "Is that me?"
Eddy: [saw a picture of Lee and himself are married] "What the-? AAAAH! That's not funny!" [crams picture into a ball]

Over Your EdEdit

Eddy: "Ladies and gentlemen…"
Ed: [excited] "Ladies and gentlemen!"
Eddy: "Come buy our delicious…"
Ed: "Come buy our deciduous…" [normal voice] "Uh."
Eddy: "En-O-Gee Drink."
Ed: "Hello!" [Kevin and Nazz walks by] "I'm the Sales-Ed."
Kevin: [unimpressed] "En-O-Gee Drinks?!"
Ed: [breaks the sign down] "Here, try some."
Eddy: [panicking] "Ed!" [seeing the scam fall apart] "Ed!"

Ed: [swatting flies] "Hey guys."
Eddy: "What is it, Ed?"
Ed: "I say the cheese is always twice the fence post."
Eddy: [giving Ed a dark look] "I wish I had a fence post, Ed."

Pop Goes the EdEdit

[The boys are trying to mingle on different ends of the table]
Ed: Hey, have you guys seen Attack of the Zombie Brain-Munchers?
Edd: The operation I saw involved fascinating new brain extraction techniques....
Ed: hideous mutants with huge drooling mouths!
Edd: So precautions had to be taken to avoid contamination...
Ed: ...from popping eyeballs and swelling brains!
Edd: The incision was made here to relieve the tremendous pressure.
Ed: But it was too late, his head exploded...
Edd ...with the slicing and cleaving, the gnashing and the severing...
Both [Off-screen]: ...bloody gory!
Ed: Aaaaaah! Oooooh! Eeeeeh! Aaaaaah!
Eddy: Guys! GUYS! Stop talking shop! I said "...mingle."!

[The Eds are hiding in the pool after their swimsuits snap off]
Eddy: "Someone's coming! Act natural."
[The Eds splash in the pool, then Sarah and Jimmy arrive]
Sarah: "Quit hogging the pool! It's our turn!"
Eddy: "No it isn't!"
Sarah: "Yes it is!"
Ed: "We are not moving."
Sarah: "ED! GET OUT!"
Eddy: "Hit the road!" [splashes at Sarah and Jimmy] "Put an egg in your shoe and beat it!"
Jimmy: "Come on, Sarah. Let's leave these guys alone."
Edd: "Well, that was close."
Nazz: [Nazz then comes over] "Hi Ed, Edd and Eddy. You boys look cool. Mind if I join you?" [a pause and the Eds swallowed hard]
Eddy: "Uh, Ed's got three nipples like that bad guy in James Bond."
Nazz: [laughter] "You're funny." [Nazz walks away]
Ed: "What third nipple? Show me where it is."
Eddy [While pointing to one of Ed's nipples and pinches Ed's skin]: "It's right here!"
Edd [points to the cake]: "Look..."
[A large cake is taken over to the table, and Ed attempts to go over and get some]
Eddy: [whilst dragging Ed back into the pool] "Get down! Are you nuts?!?"

Sir Ed-a-LotEdit

[Nazz and Kevin notice Eddy and the car]
Nazz: "Wow, Eddy, cool car!"
Kevin: [whilst Eddy closes the window] "Hey dork! Whose car is it, you twerp?!"
[Eddy cranks up the volume on the car radio, causing both Nazz and Kevin to run away]

Edd: Hey, Eddy. What are you doing?
Eddy: Just buffing the wheels.
Edd: Whose car is this, Eddy?
Eddy: Beats me. Where's Ed?

Sarah: [angrily] "As I was saying, I AM THE QUEEN!"
Ed: "And we are your "serviants"!"

A Pinch To Grow an EdEdit

Eddy: Nice boots, Mr. Inventor Smarty Pa- [is propelled into the garage ceiling and immediately falls back down in a daze] Nice pants, Mr. Smarty Boots Nice...
Edd: "Careful, Eddy, that button is very sensitive."

Sarah: "Ed, what are you doing?"
Ed: "Making Eddy tall."
Sarah: "I'm telling mom!"
Jimmy: "I wanna be tall too!"
Sarah: "Come on, Jimmy!"

Read All About EdEdit

Ed: [buried beneath a mountain of papers] "Hey look, my horoscope - 'New enterprise fails to meet expectations'. What's that mean?"

Edd: "Summer rains, you can never predict them."

Quick Shot EdEdit

[Jonny is in the park reading a book to Plank]
Jonny: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a ... [startled] oh my!
Eddy: Smile!

Eddy: "AAAAAAH! Plank's gone mad!"
The Eds: [screaming] "AAAAAAAH! Plank's gone mad! AAAAAAAH!"

An Ed Too ManyEdit

Ed: It sounds like the howl of a werewolf from the belly of Hades!
Eddy: Get off me, Ed! That's your belly!
Ed: [stares at his rumbling stomach for a few seconds and chuckles] I'm hungry.
Eddy: Let's go to my house and make some pizza!
Edd: I'll make the sauce!
Ed: I'll get in the way and make a big mess.

Edd: [dreamily] "With good luck the daily chore of applying fabric softener would become a thing of the past!"

Jimmy: [feebly kicking Eddy] Where is Sarah?! I want Sarah! I miss Sarah! Give her back!
Eddy: [to Double-D, ignoring Jimmy] Let's get this over with...


[The Eds have the opportunity to hide in a game of Hide-n-Seek. Eddy is heading over to his hiding spot with some food]
Jimmy: "...81...82...83..."
Eddy: "...24...25...26..."
Jimmy: "...27...28...29..."
[Eddy gets into a metallic bush, which is their hiding spot.]
Eddy: "Ha! This is the best hiding spot!"
Ed: [with his mouth full] "We can stay here forever."
Edd: "At the rate of your consumption, it may only be minutes."

[Eddy has an idea to get the kids to come out of their hiding spot]
[the camera zooms over to a bush and Plank pops up]
Eddy: "They must be cheating."

Look Into My EdsEdit

Ed: "Look into the circley thing!"
Rolf: "You crazy?!"
Ed: [turning to Eddy] "It's not working, Eddy!"
Eddy: "Spin it, bean dip!"
Ed: "Thanks, Eddy!"

Lee: "Look at me! I'm a movie star!"
May: "I'm a TV star!"
Marie: "You've been cancelled. I'm a TV star."

Tag Yer EdEdit

Edd: "Your techniques are incorrect, Eddy. To extract milk from a cow, you must use its udder." [all three of them stare at the cow's udder]
Eddy: "I ain't touching that."

Ed: "Take me to your leader!" [charges the Kankers]
Eddy: "Give 'em the Burr-Head Bump, Ed!"
Ed: "I can't Eddy, my mom says I can't fight girls!"

Fool on the EdEdit

Ed: Something smells good!
Edd: It is said that scent is a gateway to one's true inner essence.
Eddy: Yes! I stink, therefore I am!

Edd: [recoiling from the handwritten Prank Master card in Ed's hand] "He's such a horrible printer."
Ed: "You hold it, Double D."
Edd: "But I have no idea where it's been!"

A Boy and His EdEdit

Ed: "Hmm... Kevin's got a pretty fancy garage."
Edd: [referring to Kevin's bathroom] "Must be a built-in car wash."
The Eds: "Huh?"
Kevin: [seeing the Eds in the bathtub with him naked and taking a bath] "What are you dorks doing in here?"

Eddy: [blows a klaxon, then chants] "Kevin, Kevin, he's our man!"
Edd: "We can't do it-"
Eddy: "But Kevin sure can!"
[Eddy plays a bass drum six times, Ed bangs his head on trash can lids; Edd blows a noisemaker that makes the sound a cow makes. The drum rolls away as Ed brings two lids, with Eddy in it]
The Eds: [Ed moons, showing his butt with "IN" on his underwear, Eddy is standing upright with the "K" painted on his front body, Edd holds a sign "EV"] "Raaaaaah, Kevin!" [ Edd realizes they spelled it as "KINEV" and fixes it, then smiles.]
[Kevin holds up a sign that says "Dorks"]

It's Way EdEdit

Ed: What's a fad?
Edd: When something insignificant becomes popular.
Eddy: Right! And we know the Eds are way insignificant!

[Fad Freaker has become popular, just as the Eds have given up trying]
Eddy: We're behind again!
Edd: Cheer up, Eddy! My mom always says fads go in a cycle. In another ten years, we'll be back in style.
Ed: I'm hungry!
Eddy: [Off-blank screen] "Shut up, Ed."

Laugh Ed LaughEdit

[Eddy is locked into a padded shed and presented a large amount of fake money]
Ed: "What do you mean?"
Eddy: "What do you mean 'What do you mean'? With all this glorious..." [looks closely at the bill he's holding and sees a picture of Ed's face drawn on it] "What the-?! It's fake!"
[Edd put his finger to his mouth]
Ed: "I drew it myself!"
[Edd looks back and forth]
Ed: "Eddy's mad."
Edd: "Correct. He's back to normal."

Edd: [sees a sign that says "Quarantine"] Oh, dear! A quarantine!
Ed: I've seen this before.
Eddy: Where?
Ed: [points] There.
[Each and every house have quarantine signs everywhere]
Edd: It must be an epidemic!
Eddy: So I guess we're the only ones not sick.

Dawn Of The EdsEdit

Eddy: We'll be slurping jawbreakers for weeks.
Edd: Uhh, actually, Eddy, with current exchange rates, maybe an afternoon's worth.
Eddy: Uh, you don't know what you're talking about. What do you think, Ed? Ed? Ed? Ed? ED! HEY!!! What's clogged up your brain, Ed?
Ed: That! See? "Robot Rebel Ranch"!
The Eds: [amazed]: Ooooooh.
Ed: "'Marooned on a distant planet!'. 'Visitors in the void!'. 'No escape!!'. Huh? AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! [Zooms into 'Adults Only' on the poster twice] It's not fair! Aw, if only I were older.
Edd: Don't worry Ed. We'll see it on TV in a year.
Ed: Yeah, with all the good stuff cut out.

Eddy: "Hey, is this thing ready yet?"
Edd: "Well, actually Eddy, since it's just a prototype and still in need of..."
[Eddy gets on space rocket Edd made]
Edd: "Eddy!"
Eddy: "There's only one seat in this thing! Why'd you just put one seat, Double D?"
Edd: "Well, I told you this is the prototype. When this is properly tested, then I'll build the real one."
Eddy: "Yeah, whatever. Let's go, Double D. Lift-off!"
Edd: "Well, Eddy, I still need to-"
Eddy: "Double D, fire the rocket!"
Edd: [sighs] "Fine, but you... ah... you'd better wear this."
[Puts pan on Eddy's head]
Eddy: "Oh, yeah."
Edd: [sighs] "Three, two, one, ignition!"
[Eddy goes flying on the rocket but it dissolves in the air and Eddy starts falling down]
Edd: "Oh! Better test the parachute." [presses a button on a remote. Eddy's seat spawns a parachute.] "Well, at least that worked."
[drops the remote on the ground, but lands face down, causing the button to be pressed again; the parachute then falls off and Eddy falls on Edd]
Eddy: "Hey, Double D! The rocket needs work!"


Eddy: Ed, why is your helmet tied to your butt?
Ed: For protection.
[Eddy attempts to get the helmet off Ed's butt]
Eddy: It's meant for your head.
Ed: It's my butt!
Eddy: It's not safe!
Ed: Eddy, stop!
Eddy:It's not meant--
Ed and Eddy: Aaaah! [They both fall down]

[the Eds follow Jonny to look for wood]
Jonny: [points] "There!" [The camera zooms over to a trash can full of garbage and Eddy picks up a popsicle stick from it]
Eddy: "A dirty popsicle stick?"
Ed: [grabs the popsicle stick from Eddy] "Got it, Eddy."
Eddy: [groans] "We need large pieces of wood, Jonny. Tell Plank to quit fooling around."
Jonny: "Okay, okay! He said follow him!"

Who, What, Where, EdEdit

[Sarah and Nazz playing badminton, and Eddy grabs onto Sarah's racket]
Sarah: "Hey!"
Eddy: "Give me your racket, Sarah!"
Sarah: "My serve!" [She uses Eddy as a ball and Eddy hits the net, then bounces back. Sarah steps out of the way, and Eddy breaks through a fence.]
Sarah: "Don't ever touch my racket!"

Ed: [Ed is running round the entire cul-de-sac asking for a cup of clams] "Can Eddy come out to play?"
Eddy: [exasperated] "I'm right beside you Ed!"
Ed: [surprised and pleased] "HI EDDY!"

Keeping Up With The EdsEdit

Eddy: Ed looking for the goat?
Edd: I think he found it.

Ed: "How did you get out of the goat, Sarah?"
Sarah: [swipes her doll from Ed] "Gimme my dolly, you big lummox!"
Ed: [to Eddy and Edd] "Sarah's fine."


[After Jimmy tripped in Ed's big footprints]
Rolf: "Look at the size of this footprint, I haven't seen feet this big since my great-grandmother!"

Ed: [with a hammer on the side of his face after eating the cake] "Aaaah, my itch is gone."
Eddy: "Ed, it's on your face."
Ed: "What's on my face?"
Eddy: "The hammer."
Ed: [panicking] "A TARANTULA! AAH! GET IT OFF, EDDY!"

Oath to an EdEdit

Rolf: [after the microwave exploded and drenched Rolf and the Eds with food] "Such waste and disrespect to the fast food stuffers is not allowed in the Urban Rangers! But, seeing you covered in filth reminds me of my youth. Next badge."

Rolf: "Those Ed-Boys are crazy like chickens. Except they lay no eggs! Ah, candied beets to calm my nerves."

A Glass Of Warm EdEdit

Edd: Ed, did you know that you've been sleepwalking? And that you've consumed all the food within a five block radius of your bed?
Ed: Not only that, but I feel like I have consumed all the food within a five block radius of my bed.

Edd: "Ed is like a swarm of locusts ready to purge the cul-de-sac and all it's good people of their food!"
Eddy: [unmoved] "Y'know, you scare me when you talk like that."

Flea Bitten EdEdit

Ed: "How's it look, Eddy?"
Eddy: "Ed, you put the sign on upside-down!"
Ed: "No, I put the sign on the garage!"
Eddy: "Just flip it over, Ed."
Ed: "Flip it? Got it!"
Edd: "Ah... I think I'm ready to tackle anything with my fine assortment of short and long, hard and soft hairbrushes."
[Ed flips the entire garage over]
Ed: "I flipped it, Eddy!"
Edd: "Well, I can read it..."
Eddy: "Ed's Pet 'Boutick' is open for business!"
[Ed laughs, as the camera focusses on the sign, before fading to the next scene]

Eddy: "Anything good on Double D?"
Edd: [scouring TV listings] "Ooh there's a documentary on molluscs."
Ed: "Boring! How about 'Bot: Defender of the Bullyah People'?"

Button Yer EdEdit

Edd: "It seems the fly has lodged itself into Eddy's voice box, disabling his ability to talk!"
Ed: [yanks one of Eddy's hairs off of his head, Eddy squeals in pain] "Eddy can't talk!"

[Edd and Ed are sitting on the front porch as Eddy is calling out to them from a distance]
Edd: "The brain is an amazing organ, Ed. It's actually fooling me that Eddy's calling out to us."
Ed: "Were Rolf's fish sticks good, Double D?"

Avast Ye EdsEdit

Eddy: "Is this thing on?"
Edd: "Eddy, just speak into the mic."
Eddy: "What? This?"
Edd: "Yes!"
Eddy: "Okay, okay. Welcome, passengers, I'm Captain Eddy of Eddy's Creek Cruise, where you get more bang for your buck. I'd like you to sit back, relax and enjoy the soothing sounds of Eighty-Eight fingers Eddward."
Edd: "This instrument is so annoying." [starts to play the instrument perfectly]

Rolf: "Hello, Ed-boys! When is the next sailing? My flesh begs me for sun and sweat!" [Edd hands Rolf the deflated inner tube] "What? Huh?"
Edd: "I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be enjoyable."
Eddy: "Alas, the sea is a cruel mistress."
Ed: "I'm stuffed!"
Jimmy: [floating by in the background] "Hair emergency! Hair emergency!"

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