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Duplex (film)

2003 film by Danny DeVito
For other uses, see Duplex.

Duplex is a 2003 film about a young couple (Nancy Kendricks and Alex Rose) who move into their dream home, a duplex shared by an elderly Irish woman (Mrs. Connelly) who makes their lives miserable.

Directed by Danny DeVito.  Written by Larry Doyle.
Alex and Nancy finally found their dream home…and then they moved in.  (taglines)

Mrs. Connelly

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  • I'm coming.  Slowly but surely!
  • Come along dear, don't be shy!  It's French Onion.
  • [the clock shows almost 5:30 PM]  Oh, look at the time!  I had no idea it was so late!
  • Could you give me a hand with the garbage?  We don't wannna be feedin' the mice.
  • [after Alex spills the garbage on the stairway and, disgusted, holds up Mrs. Connelly's underwear with a paper towel roll]  What in heaven's name are you doin' with me drawers!?
  • It's pissin' down out there!
  • A bit of music and a bit of a dance!
  • It's loose as a Dublin whore!
  • Upchuck is a delicacy for Little Dick.  He's salivatin'.
  • Off we go, Dicky Boy.
  • You caught me.  I can't help but sneak a fag once in a blue moon.
  • Nice seein' ya again, Kenneth.
  • Use some elbow grease.

Alex Rose

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  • Blow me down!
  • I could have sworn we had more stuff.
  • [reading a dictionary entry]  "Macaw: any long tailed, brightly-colored parrot."  A macaw is a parrot, I knew it!
  • It's horrible.  My parents read this magazine.  Now they know my penis is called Mr. Peabody!
  • She just manipulated me somehow.  She's very crafty.  She's a crafty old…lady.
  • Besides, how can I have time to rewrite my novel and still do my faithful servant duty to her as her little indentured servant person.  Her little butt boy.  I mean, I got a lot of duties, honey.  She might need me to go out and count grapes with her, or help her fix her heater, or go take her to the laundry, or I got to go help her clean her banana skins, or I got to go clean out her garbage, and I got to go help her fill her monthlies out, or go and wipe her ass!  God forbid she have any shit hanging off her ass!  Because then I have to run up there double time like a little bunny, and I have to go up there with my little tissue and I have to go wipe her little ass and then I have to say, "Oh, good for you, Mrs. Connelly.  Good for you for having such a nice little poopie.  What's that?  You've got some poopie on your diapey?  Well let me clean it off—with my tongue!"

Nancy Kendricks

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  • Hello, Mr. Peabody!
  • It's a peacock!
  • Are those musical instruments?
  • We forgot to christen the apartment.
  • What was she doing?
  • She puts on this sweet voice.  "Nancy, could ya help meh, eh?  I think I've found the leavings of a mouse!"  Boo, hoo, hoo!  As if she didn't know it was a raisin!
  • We'll finally be happy!

Others

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  • [muffled sound of Mrs. Connelly's very loud t.v.]  I saw myself in the mirror and I thought it was my mother's tush.
  • Tara:  God, you're such a good squeezer, Nancy.
  • Herman:  I don't want it tickety boo, I want it tickety now!
  • Officer Dan:  It's my experience that wives don't accidentally shoot their husbands in the penis.

Dialogue

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Nancy Kendricks:  Besides, do you realise how much the duplex is going to be worth once we get both floors?
Alex Rose:  I know how much it costs.
Nancy Kendricks:  Well it's going to be worth like a bazillion times that.
Alex Rose:  Really?  A bazillion?  That's an incredible return.
Alex Rose:  We brought you this little housewarming gift.  [gives Mrs. Connelly a bottle of wine]
Mrs. Connelly:  Oh, that's very kind of you, thank you.  I'll open it for you.  I don't drink myself, it's a sin.
Alex Rose:  [to Nancy]  Irish Catholics don't drink?
Mrs. Connelly:  Sit down, dears, sit down!  I brought ya a little something to nibble on as well.
Alex Rose:  Oh, Bugles.  Wow, I didn't realise they even still made Bugles.
Mrs. Connelly:  [offering Alex a Bugle dipped in French onion dip]  Come along, dear, it's French onion.
Alex Rose:  [nibbles while looking at Bugles box; sees expiration date reads "October 1997"]  Magnificent parrot.
Mrs. Connelly:  It's not a parrot, dear.  He's a macaw.  He's named after my late husband, Richard.  I've had Little Dick for forty years.  [Alex and Nancy smile]  Now tell me about yourselves.  What do you do, Allen?
Alex Rose:  [correcting her]  Alex.
Nancy Kendricks:  Alex is a writer.
Mrs. Connelly:  Oh, a writer. I always thought of that as more of a hobby than a real job.  I suppose I'm forgettin' about Joyce.
Alex Rose:  Joyce, James Joyce, of course.  Wonderful writer.
Mrs. Connelly:  He died drunk and penniless.
Nancy Kendricks:  Well, Alex's first novel was published in hardback, and he's just about to finish his second one.
Mrs. Connelly:  Oh, what's it about?
Alex Rose:  Well, I like to call it an urban epic.  It's about three generations of this family in New York that own a printing press, and I tell a story mainly about—
Mrs. Connelly:  [bored, cutting him off]  Oh, that's nice.  Let me give you a refill.  Big Dick had the taste, too.  He was a seaman.  The drink took him from me in 1963.  We'd been married for 58 years.  [Nancy counts silently]
Alex Rose:  I wonder how old she is.
Nancy Kendricks:  My guess is that she's somewhere between 95 and 105.
Alex Rose:  I'm sorry, I don't hear anything.
Mrs. Connelly:  It was very distinctive.  The pipes went "bang bang, bangety bang bang…bang, bang."
Herman:  Nancy, did you finish the Celebrity Scene page?
Nancy Kendricks:  Oh, tickety boo.
Herman:  I don't know what that means.
Nancy Kendricks:  It means you'll have it soon.
Herman:  Well if you mean I'll have it soon, then why don't you say "I'll have it soon"?  I mean, "tickety boo" is just confusing, for everybody!
Nancy Kendricks:  Were you napping?
Alex Rose:  No!  I was…I was just rearranging my book collection.
Nancy Kendricks:  In the dark?
Alex Rose:  And then I just shut my eyes, for a second…
Nancy Kendricks:  Look!  I got a peacock!
Alex Rose:  What does it do?
Nancy Kendricks:  It's there to be decorative and look pretty and be aesthetically pleasing.
Herman:  And what do you do, Chick?
Chick:  I'm a pornographer.  Let me give you my card, you know, just in case.
Mrs. Connelly:  I always thought it was strange, your husband staying home while you were out there, providin'.
Nancy Kendricks:  Well, he's a writer.
Mrs. Connelly:  [laughs]  Writer?  The man naps more than a newborn pup.  What's he writing about, sheep?
Nancy Kendricks:  Is there something, Mrs. Connelly?
Mrs. Connelly:  Oh, I guess ya could say there was something!  I've got 'something' on display in my kitchen.
[cut to a scene in Connelly's kitchen]
Nancy Kendricks:  That is not a mouse dropping, it's a raisin.
Mrs. Connelly:  That is the leavings of a mouse.
Nancy Kendricks:  It's a raisin!  [puts the raisin in mouth; expression turns to disgust as she hacks up raisin]
Mrs. Connelly:  I spayed it with Lysol.
Mrs. Connelly:  [regains consciousness, notices Nancy's hands on her chest]  What are ya doin'?!
Nancy Kendricks:  You were choking on a chocolate.
[Connelly looks at Alex who has lipstick on his lips from reviving her]
Alex Rose:  You choked on a chocolate.
Mrs. Connelly:  Awww!
[cut to the police station]
Officer Dan:  Go on, Mrs. Connelly.
Mrs. Connelly:  The last thing I remember, I ate one of their chocolates.  When I woke up, he was havin' his way, and she was holdin' me down!
Alex Rose:  No, no, I was trying to save her life!
Mrs. Connelly:  He stole my drawers once.  For sniffin'!
Alex Rose:  That's ridiculous!  She was choking on a chocolate so I gave—
Officer Dan:  Do shut up.
Nancy Kendricks:  Come on, come on.  We don't have much time.
Alex Rose:  I know, she's running errands.  That only gives us twelve fucking hours.
Nancy Kendricks:  Poor Mr. Peabody!
Alex Rose:  He took one for the team.

Taglines

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  • Alex and Nancy finally found their dream home…and then they moved in.
  • It all started with one wrong move.
  • Moving In September 26.

Cast

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