- All those rumors about her being underweight are trash. She's gorgeous.
- There's an old saying in Hollywood: It's not the length of your film, it's how you use it.
- Reported in Inside Oscar 2 (2002) by Damien Bona
- People like to define you through what they’ve seen you do … There are aspects of my personality, I guess, that come through on-screen, but I don’t sit around thinking, I’ve been a bumbling suitor all my life.
- When I didn’t have a family, I was much more of a workaholic … I still like to work, but I also want to be home with them. As you get older, you realize you need balance. If it’s not fun, what’s the point?
- As quoted in "Born Funny" by Margot Dougherty in Reader's Digest (September 2007)
- We covered "Hey Jude." My father panicked, misunderstanding the lyrics and thinking our lead singer was belting out "Hey, Jew" to a roomful of Holocaust survivors.
- As quoted in The Best Book of Useless Information Ever (2007) by Noel Botham, p. 19
- We go way back. We went to the same school, John Quincy Adams Elementary in Sacramento. I was in 4th grade, he was in 1st. I was the big, tall, beefy, muscular kid, he was the much smaller, shorter bully magnet. I got wedgies and ate turkey and cheese. He got swirlies and ate PB&J. We're the best of friends and we've done 11 movies together. So, yeah, me and Owen Wilson are tight as can be.
- Discussing his friendship with Owen Wilson in an interview with People Magazine (August 2013)
(Note: Stiller had forgotten the name of his elementary school at the time of the interview)