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Danny Phantom/Season 2

Danny Phantom Seasons: 1/2/3 (Main) Comics: Danny Phantom: A Glitch in Time

Danny Phantom is an American animated television series that was aired on Nickelodeon. The series follows a teenage boy who, after an accident with an unpredictable portal between the human world and the "Ghost Zone", becomes a human-ghost hybrid and takes on the task of saving his town (and the world) from subsequent ghost attacks using an evolving variety of supernatural powers.

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Memory Blank [2.1]

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Tucker: Good job beating the big cow, Danny.
Danny: Yeah, well it hasn't stopped Sam from busting my chops about "Cruelty to Unliving Plastic Animals".
Sam: I had to choose between fake cows and evil trucks. The cow won.
Danny and Tucker: Pretty please with those dark licorice sprinkles and the black frosting you like with those little gummy bats on top?
[Sam just saved Danny from Terminatra using the Spector Deflector and is helping him out of a fountain.]
Danny: Nice save! Although to be fair, I probably wouldn't have needed it if it weren't for you in the first place.
[the Spector Deflector glows and zaps Danny. He screams and falls back in the fountain.]
Sam: Uh, excuse me? I save your butt, and you're giving me grief?!
Danny: Welcome to my world, remember? [gestures, sarcastically] We should make the menu Recyclo-Vegetarian! We should let the gorilla out. We should sell all of your dad's stuff at a garage sale! [crosses arms]
Sam: Anything else you wanna blame me for? World hunger? The Ice Age? Puberty?!
[Jack sees Danny kissing Sam.]
Danny: [whispers to Sam] I call that a fakeout makeout.
Sam: [blushes] Yeah, I know.
Jack: [to Danny] You're in a lot of trouble, mister! [to Sam] And who the heck are you?
Sam: Uh...I'm Paulina?
Jack: Then Danny Fenton is never, ever, allowed to see you, Paulina.
[Sam smiles]
Mr. Lancer: Thousands of meteors will be visible in the skies of Amity Park this Friday. People tend to wish upon these falling stars without realizing that at the speeds they're falling, [dramatically] they could drill through your tiny skulls like they were wet toilet paper!
Sam: Danny, use your ghost ray! You can fire a ghost ray out of your hand!
Danny: [concentrating] Ghost ray, ghost ray... [butt begins to glow green] Well, that can't be right! But it'll have to do! [fires ghost ray out of butt]
Tucker: [being chased by a monster truck] Ahhh!
[truck turns back to normal]
Tucker: Yes!
[truck disappears]
Tucker: NO!

Doctor's Disorders [2.2]

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Danny: Phew, what is that smell?
Tucker: This? [shows Danny a spray-can] It's my new all-over body spray. I made it myself. I call it "Foley" by Tucker Foley. [sprays some on himself] It combines with your natural odor to create a sweet manly scent, that smells different to everyone who sniffs it.
Danny: Tuck, you smell like a sweaty cookie.
Tucker: [from outside the hospital] Spooky hospital. Ghosts guarding the joint. Still, no sign that Danny's in any real danger yet.
Danny: [from inside the hospital] Let me go!
Tucker: Still, technically not a cry for help.
Danny: HELP!
Tucker: Well, not a cry for me.
Danny: [desperately] TUCKER!
Tucker: Ah, dang...

Pirate Radio [2.3]

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Danny: Mom, Dad! I really wanna use the emergency op-center to start a radio station!
[silence as Danny looks around and finds no one]
Sam: That's a yes!
[after the ghost pirates steal the ghost shield generator]
Youngblood: Fall back, me hearties. We got da...got da...What's the word?
Parrot: Booty.
Youngblood: Ha, you said booty! [laughs]
[The ghost pirates have kidnapped adults all over Amity Park personally]
Paulina: Hey, they got my parents!
Dash: Mine too!
Kwan: Cool! Party at Dash's house!
Paulina: Like, what is wrong with you?! [pushes Kwan over]
Danny: [using a megaphone] Listen up, people! If you want your parents back, you're gonna have to follow my lead.
Dash: Why should we follow you, Fen-toad?
Danny: [sarcastic] You're right, Dash. Let's follow the other kid who comes from a family of ghost hunters and knows how to work all their gear. [Dash looks away slightly, doesn't respond] No takers? Alright then, [raises right arm and fist] who's with me?
[All other students cheer]
Dash: [fighting ghost pirates back-to-back with Danny] You're one brave geek, Fenton. When I'm wailing on you tomorrow, I'll be wailing on a hero. But I will be wailing on you.
Ember: The only one rocking this boat IS ME!
[after being freed from Ember's spell which made them exercise]
Jack: Why do I suddenly feel like I have buns of steel?
Maddie: At last! I mean, I love you just the way you are. [hugs Jack]
Jazz: Ew!
Parrot: [attempts and fails to get past the ghost shield] Let me out of here! Let me out!
Youngblood: Actually, it'd be more like, [piratey voice] "Ahoy, matey! I'm marooned on this island."
Parrot: [glares at him] Oh, shut your gob you twit!

Reign Storm [2.4-5]

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Sam: You realize you're playing with fire.
Danny: Well, sometimes I have to use my powers for the greater good. [points to Dash]
Dash: [opens his locker and gets half-covered in toilet paper] Whoa!
Tucker: [amused] And come on! How good was that?
Sam: Niiice...Using your powers to stuff toilet paper into a locker. He's gonna find out it's you.
Danny: Have you seen his grades? [in unison with Tucker] Never gonna happen!
Dash: [notices the toilet paper has Jack's face on it] Hey! This is Fenton Wipe!
Sam: "Never" is Karma's doorbell. Ding-dong! It's for you.
[Danny and Valerie head into an alleyway, attempting to hide behind a dumpster, but see that Sam is already there. Sam points to Danny]
Danny: Hiding from Dash.
[Sam points to Valerie]
Valerie: Hiding from Nathan. You?
[Sam points off-screen. The camera cuts to a shot of Sam's mother holding a large pink and yellow dress outside the alleyway.]
Mrs. Manson: Sammikins, at least try it on!
Sam: [about Valerie] So, what's up with this? Why are you helping her all of a sudden?
Danny: Oh, she hid me from Dash earlier today. I'm just returning the favour.
Sam: Well, be careful. The last thing you'd want to do is invite your archenemy into your own house.
[they open the door, Danny gasps as he sees Vlad there]
Vlad: Ah, hel-LO, Daniel!
Sam: Too late.
Danny: [to Vlad, after he blasts a skeleton away] You're helping me? What do you want, my mom's cell number?
Vlad: No! But, ooh, if you wanted to give me her number....
Valerie: Hey, Danny.
Danny: Hey, Val.
Tucker: "Hey, Val"? Isn't that the same Val that's usually on a jet sled trying to paste Danny?
Sam: Yep. And apparently next week, we're having cookies with Skulker!
Ember: [to the kids in the music store] Hey kids. Here's a new ditty I call... GET OUT OF MY NEW HOME!
[she sends an energy blast that breaks all the windows and the kids run out, screaming]
Random Kid: She rocks!
[various ghosts have attacked Danny and he's fallen to the ground in human form, and Sam rushes to his side]
Sam: You okay? [Danny shoots her a dirty look] Sorry. Standard question.
Sam: [drinking tea] I'm getting worried. We haven't seen Danny or Valerie for hours.
Jack: Ah, they're fine. They've been up in Danny's room. Alone. For hours.
[Sam drops the teacup and it shatters.]
Skulker: Now, go, defeat him, so I will be free to hunt you another day.
Danny: [to Ember] Guy really knows how to motivate ya....
Danny: I don't understand....
Vlad: What? That I used two fourteen year old pawns to turn a knight and topple a king? It's chess, Daniel. Of course you don't understand. But then, you never really did.
Tucker: Dude, you can't blame yourself for this. It's not your fault.
Danny: Maybe not. But it is my responsibility.
Pariah Dark: You can't possibly win.
Danny: I don't have to win. I just have to make sure you lose!
Danny: [referring to all the ghosts] How did they cram all of you inside the Specter Speeder?
Ember: Hey, you ever been inside your stupid thermos? Compared to that, it was the Taj Mahal in there!

Identity Crisis [2.6]

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Danny: [going through his ghost files with Sam and Tucker] Okay, Ember: Ghost Zone. Skulker: Ghost Zone. Box Ghost... [in unison with Tucker and Sam] Who cares.
Box Ghost: [pops his head out of the Fenton Portal] Hey! I have feelings too you know! [the Fenton Portal shuts him out]
Technus: [has taken over the Fenton RV and an electronics store. attaches TV to the RV] Hmm, plasma screen, [attaches speakers] surround sound, [attaches unknown appliance with a receiver dish] I don't know what this thing does... [attracts more TVs and remotes] Ooo, these are on sale!
Technus 2.0: Behold, the new Technus 2.0! Now with pop-up blocker! [pulls Danny up towards him with a tractor beam.]
Danny: Sounds like the same old Technus to me. Whaddaya say you shout out your plan and we get this thing over with?
Technus 2.0: Technus 2.0 does not reveal his secrets! [crosses arms] Go on, try me.
Danny: Uh, boxers or briefs?
Technus 2.0: [gets in his face] None of your business! [smug look] See?
Fun Danny: [on a roller coaster] Oh, man, this is the life. I wish I could stay on this ride, like, forever.
[all of the rides in the fair suddenly stop as the sky darkens]
Sam: And you may just get your wish.
Tucker: Why couldn't you wish for super models?
Super Danny: Did someone say, "super"?!
Sam: Ah, somebody kill me.

The Fenton Menace [2.7]

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Jazz: See? This toxic home environment is making him a nervous wreck! [Danny's eye twitches] He needs a normal family outing! One that has nothing to do with ghosts!
Danny: Will you stop talking about me like I'm not here?! [invisible Youngblood pokes Danny] AND WILL YOU STOP POKING ME?!
Maddie: I don't know, Jazz, honey. Sure Danny seems a little high-strung but I'm sure it's nothing we can't work out here...
[Youngblood pokes Danny again]
Danny: Back off, punk! [snatches an ecto-gun and fires it all around the lab]
Jack & Maddie & Jazz: [find cover behind piles of boxes]
Maddie: [to Jazz] I'll get the sleeping bags.
Jack: And I'll get that ghost hunting equipment! [Maddie and Jazz gives him disapproving glares] And by ghost hunting equipment, I mean..Uh...The other sleeping bags!
Jazz: [grabs Danny's arm] And where do you think you're going?
Danny: Wherever I want. What are you, the hall monitor now?
Jazz: I'm your hall monitor, Danny. And there's no place you can go that I can't follow.
Danny: Really?
[Danny walks into the boy's room and shuts the door on Jazz's face]
Jazz: Except there.
Maddie: Who's up for a game of "I Spy"? I spy with my little eyes something beginning with... C!
Jack: Cola, chaffing, cattleprod...
Danny: Cowboy?
Jazz: Where do you see a cowboy?
Danny: Duh, he's riding right next to us!...At seventy miles an hour? Oh no not again.

The Ultimate Enemy [2.8-9]

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[Danny is about to open the envelope and look at the test answers. He's suddenly interrupted by the appearance of SkulkTech 9.9]
Sam and Tucker: Whew! [unenthusiastically] I mean, oh no. A ghost.
[Danny's at his house trying to study for the C.A.T. test with Jazz in the room. He suddenly senses a ghost.]
Danny: [quietly, to himself] Aw, man! A ghost? Here? [loudly, to Jazz] Now get out of my room!
Jazz: We're in the kitchen. [sees ghost behind Danny] But if that's your attitude, I don't want to see you or anything you do in here for the next several minutes! [rushes out]
Clockwork: [to Danny, Tucker, and Sam] I sent him back to his own time. Or rather, forward to his own time. You see, to me time moves backward and forward and... Oh, why am I bothering? You're only 14.
Future Box Ghost: Well, well, well. [Danny turns to see the Future Box Ghost] All this time we've planning on how we take the fight to you. And here you are, wrapped up like a present.
Danny: Box Ghost?
Future Box Ghost: Beware...[shoots Danny with a blast of blue energy into Future Ember]
Danny: [after bumping into Future Ember] Ember? You look...
Future Ember: Like I went to seed right after you destroyed my vocal cords WITH THAT GHOSTLY WAIL OF YOURS?!
Danny: I was gonna say 'statuesque,' but uh...[smiles innocently]
[Dark Danny has revealed his true form to Jazz]
Jazz: You're not Danny. That's why the Booo-merang wasn't homing in on your ecto-signature. You're not Danny!
Dark Danny: I was, but I grew out of it. The Danny you know is floating helplessly in the Ghost Zone ten years in the future.
Jazz: He'll escape! He'll beat you!
Dark Danny: How? Is the answer: A. the Fenton Portal? Destroyed it. B. the only remaining portal? The one that my idiot cheesehead archenemy has? As soon as I find it, that's going too.
Jazz: Cheesehead? Vlad Masters? He's your archenemy?
Dark Danny: [continues] Is it: C. you? No. You can't stop me from cheating on the C.A.T. and solidifying my future, so it must be D... [blasts Jazz away with a plasma blast] None of the above.
[Jazz faints; Dark Danny transforms into Danny, takes the C.A.T. answers form, and reads the answers. A smile lights up his face]
Dark Danny: Well, what do you know? The answer to the first question is "D"! [evil laugh]
Danny: [after KOing future versions of his foes with a Ghostly Wail and detransforming] Whoa... [looks at them] My voice is changing... great, [transforms back] now I'm going through Evil Puberty. Everywhere I go my evil future is smacking me in the face! [hit on the back of the head with the Booo-merang] OWW!
Jack: Where is he? Where's our son?
Maddie: What have you done to our boy?!
Dark Danny: [laughing] Ha, ha, ha! I am your boy!
Maddie: What?!?
Dark Danny: What kind of parents were you anyway? The world's leading ghost experts, and you couldn't even figure out that your own son was half-ghost!
Jack: [to Maddie] For the record, I blame you.
Dark Danny: What makes you think you can change my past?
Danny: Because I promised my family!
Dark Danny: Aha ha, ha, ha! Oh, you are such a child! You promised?
Danny: Yes! I...PROMISED!
[Danny uses his Ghostly Wail on Dark Danny.]
Dark Danny: Oh! That power! Oh, it's not possible! I don't get that power until ten years from now!
Danny: I guess... the future isn't as set in stone as you think it is. [roars again]
Observant 1: He has the answers to the test.
Observant 2: He's clearly going to cheat.
Observant 1: He has your time medallion.
Observant 2: He has your time medallion.
Clockwork: You said that twice.
Dark Danny: [to Tucker and Sam] You know, if I had an ounce of humanity left in me, this would be a very touching little reunion, but of course I surrendered my human half a long time ago.
Future Vlad: [telling how Dark Danny came into existence] If it's any consolation, they went so quickly. They felt no pain. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for you, Daniel. With nowhere else to go, you came to me, the only person on the planet who could possibly hope to understand your situation. All you wanted was to make the hurt go away. I honored your wishes... no more painful human emotions to drag you down. Sadly, that freed you up to rip the ghost out of me. And when my evil ghost half mixed with yours, my evil side overwhelmed you.
Danny: What happened to my human self?
Future Vlad: Some things, my boy, are better left unsaid. If any good came out of this, it's that ten years without ghost powers gave me the chance to see what a fool I'd been.
Danny: Maybe that's all anybody needs. A second chance.
Dark Danny: Your time is up, Danny. It's been up for ten years.
[Danny sits on the steps of Casper High; Jazz comes over to him]
Danny: So how long have you known?
Jazz: About the test? For days, but I'm really proud of you for not cheating.
Danny: Not that. [Danny holds up Jazz's tattered note and torn piece of her headband] Your headband, your note with your handwriting.
Jazz: What that? [chuckles nervously and blushes] I didn't write that. And there must be dozens of headbands.
Danny: [looking unconvinced] Jazz...
Jazz: [sits down beside Danny] Since the Spectra thing. I didn't want to tell you until you wanted to tell me. It's your secret.
Danny: Well, it's our secret now.
[They hug]
Jazz: Don't think this means I'll stop being meddling and overprotective.
Danny: I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Fright Before Christmas [2.10]

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Lance Thunder: [mumbling] Can't believe I quit acting to work in this place. [to newscaster] There's chaos here, Bill. [ghostly Christmas trees surround him; he panicks] Not the face! Not the face!
Danny: [to the ghosts] I'm trapped in this story. The guy's off his nut.
Skulker: He ought to know better.
Box Ghost: Let's go kick his butt!
[Danny shoves an orange into Walker's mouth, hoping to end the ghost fight]
Ghost Writer: [typing] Young Danny thought quickly and picked up an orange. He threw it at Walker who... [stops typing and thinks; angrily] Aw, crud! Nothing rhymes with orange!
Danny: And that's when I thought, maybe this is the moral-
In the same way my folks love their old Christmas quarrel,
Everyone celebrates in the way of their choosing.
I was so busy whining, I started abusing
The ones I loved most and I ruined their cheer.
I'll try to be better come Christmas next year.
Sam: Uh, nice sentiment, but what are you, a greeting card?
Tucker: Yeah. Why you talking in rhyme?
Jazz: Such a dork.
Danny: We're not talking in rhyme? [excited] We're not talking in rhyme!
[As Ghost Writer is shown in a prison cell, a bear-like creature scoots up to him. Ghost Writer tries to scurry away until he sees Walker in front of the bars, holding an orange]
Walker: Orange?
Ghost Writer: [exclaims in fear] Get that thing away from me!

Secret Weapons [2.11]

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[the gang sees Skulker fly by]
Tucker: Skulker?! He's hunting you again?!
Jazz: Again?! As in more than once?
Danny: Jazz, take it easy. There's a rhythm to these things. Ghosts attack, we exchange witty banter, I kick ghost butt, and we all go home having learned a valuable lesson about honesty, or some such nonsense.
Jazz: [jotting down on a memo pad] Attack, banter, kick butt, lesson, got it. [beat] So, why is he not attacking?
Danny: What?! [Sees Skulker flying away] No attack? He's ignoring me?!
Danny: [watches Skulker tear through the lab equipment in the basement] And here I thought you weren't hunting me.
Skulker: Where is the Ecto-Converter?
Danny: See, that's more like it. You make demands, I ignore them.
[Jazz walks in the janitor closet holding her laptop with Danny's personal ghost files on it]
Danny: Where did you get this?!
Jazz: From your computer.
Danny: You hacked into my personal ghost files?! And how did you get the password?!
Sam, Tucker, and Jazz: It's Paulina Fenton.
Sam: Seriously Danny, it's not that hard to figure it out.
Jazz: How come you never told me Vlad Masters has ghost powers? And he has a thing for Mom?!
Danny: Because it's none of your business! [while he closes the laptop Jazz is holding]
Sam: [sneaking out of the closet with Tucker] If you don't mind, we'll be over there, doing the "glad I'm an only child" dance.
Jazz: Danny, calm down!
Danny: Calm down? How can I calm down with you constantly butting your nose in where it doesn't belong?
Jazz: I was just trying to help...
Danny: NO ONE ASKED YOU TO HELP, Because you're a lousy ghost hunter, [while people are listening outside the closet] an overbearing sister, and an annoying, obnoxious know-it-all who has no respect for her brother's privacy", SO STOP HELPING! [they gasp and Jazz begins running crying out of the closet and the people then glare at Danny]
Tucker: Do you want us to talk to Jazz?
Danny: I'm perfectly capable of talking to my own sister!
Sam: ...Which is why you're hiding from her. In a broom closet.
Danny: No, I'm not!
Jazz: Danny, you in there?
Danny: Hide me! [jumps into a trash can]
Jazz: [crying at Vlad's doorstep] Oh... Uncle Vlad... [sniffs] I've run away from home. My father's an idiot, my brother hates me, and I wanna stay here with you. [sobs]
Vlad: Wait, what was that?
Jazz: I've run away from home?
Vlad: N-no, after that.
Jazz: My brother hates me?
Vlad: No, in the middle!
Jazz: My father's an idiot?
Vlad: That's the one! Come to Uncle Vlad! [happily escorts her inside]
Danny: We're gonna have to fight. But we're gonna need to make it look convincing. [Jazz punches Danny, sending him into the shield. He is shocked by the electricity and falls back to the ground]
Jazz: That's for humiliating me in front of the whole school.
Danny: Alright, I deserve that and I'm sorry, you're just trying to help, but please just follow my lead. [She punches Danny who gets electrocuted again then punches him repeatedly as he falls, but he phases her suit into the ground]
Danny: Will you listen to me for once in your life?!

Flirting With Disaster [2.12]

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Tucker: [about his PDA] It's picking up Technus! Something in his new upgrade is making my PDA all wonky.
Sam: Like at the mall... And the lab... And the ferris wheel! He's pushing Danny and Valerie together! [Tucker laughs] [unimpressed] If you're done, we have to tell Danny.
Tucker: [giggling and speaking] You wanna tell Danny that Technus is playing matchmaker? How do you think he's gonna react to that?
[Scene changes to the next day with Danny laughing]
Sam: [annoyed] Are you done yet?
Danny: No. [keeps laughing] Okay, now I'm done. You're trying to tell me that Technus is trying to hook me up? Come on! Technus hates emotions!
Sam: And hello? He's using yours against you.
Tucker: Dim lights, stalled ferris wheel - You think the universe wants you two to be together?
[Valerie is shown hiding in the bushes]
Danny: Well, maybe, but... I don't know... I might.
[Sam and Valerie gasp]
Tucker: Uh...really? Because Tech...
Sam: [sees Valerie hiding] Uh... Technically because we just want you to be happy! If you like her we'll just have to make space for her at our table. [eye twitches]
Danny: Speaking of Valerie I was suppose to meet her before class. [Danny walks away and Valerie shows up]
Valerie: Did you mean that?
Sam: Um...uh...yeah, sure. If Danny likes you and you like Danny, the least we can do is give you a chance. [Valerie hugs Sam] Human contact...crushing Goth...indifference....
[Valerie proving that the one in the ghost hunting suit wasn't her]
Damon: That could've been you!
Valerie: No, because it never was me.
Damon: I'm sorry I didn't believe you. You did do a good job protecting your friend. I guess I can let it go this time.
Valerie: You're only saying that because the suit's destroyed.
Damon: Bingo.
Jack: Danny! Word on the street has it that you've got a girlfriend! [to Sam and Tucker] Can you two leave so I can have a totally awkward "father and son"-chat?
Sam and Tucker: [run off] Gone and gone!
[Scene cuts to Jack and Danny eating Ice cream in the kitchen.]
Danny: Does it have to be awkward?
Jack: Yep! I'm gonna give you some fatherly advice. Then I am going to say something that makes you cringe and run out of the room in embarrassment!
Danny: Check. Advice, first?
Jack: Alright... If you really like this girl, Danny, you should let her know and give her something... Like this! [puts a ring on the table]
Danny: [surprised] A class ring?
Jack: A girlfriend's not a girlfriend until you give her a class ring, Danny. It also says, "I think you could be the girl I fight ghosts with"! [beat] At least it did with your mom - I don't know how appropriate that is for you...
Danny: [laughs] You'd be surprised. I can give her this?
Jack: Only if she's special. I'm sure Sam'll love it!
Danny: [alarmed] It's not for Sam!
Jack: [laughs, unconvinced] Of course, it's not! You guys are just friends! [leans in slightly] I even had it engraved! [Danny looks at the ring, and sure enough, Sam's name is engraved on the inside] See, that was the embarrassing thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for pie! [holds up a pie, Danny walks off] Clueless...
Sam: [sees Valerie following Danny into the sky] Uh...Danny. Danny. Come in, stay alert. You have company.
Danny: Company? What kind of company?
Sam: It's your girlfriend.
Danny: She's not my girlfriend until I give her the ring.
Tucker: What is this? 1955?
Sam: [gives Danny the ring] Here you go.
Tucker: You sure about this?
Danny: Well, she said she'd give up ghost hunting. For me. Besides, I like her, and she likes me – isn't it supposed to be that simple?
Sam and Tucker: [shrugs] Clueless.
Valerie: [puts her hand on Danny's shoulder] Danny?
Danny: Wow. I-I'm glad you're here. I, uh wanted to ask you something.
Valerie: Actually, me first. [Sam and Tucker walks off] Danny, I've had a lot of fun these last few days, but my life's way too complicated right now for us to be anything other than... friends.
Danny: Just... friends? B-b-but I thought...
Valerie: I thought, too. But there's something important I have to do, and I don't want you to get hurt because of it. Besides, it's not like you were going to give me some lame class ring, right? [kisses him on the cheek]
Danny: Ye-eah, right.
[Valerie leaves as Danny opens his hand holding the ring and looks at it. Valerie goes behind the corner of the school building, changes into her new suit, then looks back at Danny seeing how sad he looks. She gets a determined look on her and flies off. Danny sits down as Sam returns]
Danny: [gives the ring to Sam] Can you hang on to this?
Sam: [tosses up the ring like a coin] Ah, clueless.

Micro Management [2.13]

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Danny: [after Dash asks where they should hide on Jack's indoor mini-golf course] Have you seen him play golf? The only safe place is the hole!
[Danny and Dash hurry into the hole, as golf balls whiz past them.]
Dash: Man! Is everyone in this family bad at sports?
Dash: We did it! What do you think we just benched? Proportionally?
Danny: I don't know, dude. I'm not that good at math.
Skulker: And soon, you will not be that good at breathing either.
Skulker: [getting pelted with giant potato chips] Lime and vinegar?! Who eats those?!

Beauty Marked [2.14]

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Tucker: What's wrong with beauty pageants?
Sam: Other than the fact that they turn girls into shallow doormats and boys into drooling idiots? Everything.
Tucker: But it's got a swimsuit competition!
Dora: Our princess must appeal to the masses, so she shall be chosen by a common boy. Someone average and bland. [as she passes Dash, Kwan, and Mikey, respectively] Too popular... too athletic... too nerdy... [to Tucker] Too-
Tucker: Handsome? Smart? In-telligent?
Dora: Annoying.
Paulina: [to Danny] I baked some cookies for you.
Star: I did your math homework.
Danny: Now, ladies. You can't influence the judge with cookies and - [sees the papers Star is holding] Whoa! Is this homework done all the way through next semester?
Star: Mm-hmm.
Danny: This pleases me. [Dash grabs him and holds him in the air]
Dash: Hey, Fen-toid! It's only been two hours and I'm already tired of you hogging all the hotties! [Danny snaps his fingers, Paulina kicks Dash, making him drop Danny] Ow! Aah!
Crowd of angry girls: Get him! [Girls chase Dash away]
Lancer: [singing] A happy princess is sweet and pure, with hair of gold and teeth of white. Her soft complexion is pure perfection with never a pimple in sight. [stops singing] [points at girl behind him] Except for her!
Sam: Oh, Ms. Mattingly? I didn't hear you.
Dora: You'd be surprised how dainty your footsteps can be WHEN YOU DON'T WEAR COMBAT BOOTS!
Sam: Hi, my name's Sam Manson and my happy princess talent is... goth haiku. Despair without end! [whispers to Danny] Dora's a ghost! Utter blackness, nothingness. [whispers again] Dora's a ghost! [loudly] Dora is a ghost!
Danny: So that's your big statement? Dora's a ghost? I mean, what does that have to do with... wait, Dora is a ghost!

King Tuck [2.15]

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Sam: [with Tucker's campaign] You're just going about this the wrong way, Tucker.
Danny: Yeah, your campaign is all about victory through technology and the triumph of machine over man. It's kinda creepy.
Sam: So we changed your lame official campaign platform. [hands Tucker a list with the new ideas]
Tucker: [reading] Graffiti art classes? Rage against the PTA meetings? Mini-skirt Fridays? Okay, that's good.
Danny: Yeah, that was mine.
[as Paulina & Star are scrubbing his feet]
Tucker: Henceforth, all in the realm shall eat nothing but meat, and all citizens must wear red berrets. [to the girls] Including you, handmaidens.
Star: [whispering to Paulina] He's clearly under a spell.
Paulina: [seething to Star] I don't care if he's under some spell. He dies for this! [snapping at Tucker] Haven't you heard of nail clippers?!

Masters Of All Time [2.16]

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[Jack and Maddie see Vlad, Sam, and Tucker's ecto-acne]
Maddie: There's only one place that treats ecto-acne!
Danny: [hopefully] Please say hospital, please say hospital... [scene shifts to FentonWorks in quarantine, disappointed] Why didn't she just say hospital?
Maddie Masters: You despicable, lying piece of...cheese! I've wasted the best years of my life with you!
Vlad Masters: Now, Maddie, I may be a lying piece of cheese, but I'm still your husband.
Maddie Masters: [grabs Vlad and lifts him up] Then consider this an annulment! [throws him into the Ghost Zone; ghosts begin to surround him]
Vlad: Oh, hello. Did I mention how much I love ghosts? [ghosts close in on him, and he screams] No!
Vlad: I knew you'd come through, Daniel. All it took was the proper motivation. Of course, I'm still weak beyond measure, so... bygones?
[Danny grins mischievously at him, next scene shows Vlad screaming as Danny knocks him into the air]
Danny: [casually] Bygones.

Kindred Spirits [2.17]

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Danny: [after Vlad attacks him numerous times] Aren't you at least gonna make some stupid crack about my father? Or a lame come-on about my mom?
Vlad: No, dear boy. "Funny Joke Around Vlad" isn't here today! [attacks him again]
Danny: You've been spying on me?! Okay, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You really are one seriously crazed-up fruitloop.
Vlad: A fruitloop would not have been able to make his first million with a series of invisible burglaries! A fruitloop would never have thought to overshadow enough millionaires to become one of the richest men on the planet! I! AM! NOT! A! FRUIT! LOOP! And I am not a villain. All I ever wanted...was love.
Danny: [sarcastic] Oh, yeah, nothing loopy about that.
[After Danny and Dani leave the destroyed cafeteria to chase the third ghost clone, leaving Sam and Tucker behind]
Both: Three, two, one.
Mr. Lancer: [barges in and sees the ruined cafeteria] To Kill a Mockingbird, people! Who started this?
[Dash points at Sam and Tucker as they once again take the blame]
Both: We'll get the mop.
Mr. Lancer: [unhappy, coming from the door of the cafeteria] Manson. Foley. Can you tell me why you're not still in the cafeteria?
Tucker: [referring to Danny] We have to help him!
Sam: [quickly faking an excuse to Mr. Lancer] Why are we not in the cafeteria? [pause] Um...Because we're meeting Danny, and totally ditching school.
Tucker: And there's nothing you can do about it...old man.
Mr. Lancer: [angry] Old man?! [Tucker and Sam start running away and Mr. Lancer tries to catch them] You two are in a world of trouble! [his hip cracks] Ow! My hip.
Jack: [hears the phone ringing] Maddie can you get that phone please!
Maddie: I can't believe Danny, Tucker, and Sam are not at school! [Maddie picks up the phone] Hello, Mr. Lancer. [Maddie is shocked to hear about Tucker and Sam's behavior by Mr. Lancer] [gasp] They'd what?!
Jack: [angry and yelling] Sam! Tucker! Get out of that thing!
Sam: [shouting] What?! I couldn't hear you over the roar of the rockets! [leans back into the Specter Speeder; to Tucker] Could you activate the roar of the rockets please?! [Tucker activates the roar of the rockets and they drive out of the Fenton Household]
Jack: [angry and yelling] You two kids are in a world of trouble!
Jack, Maddie, and Mr. Lancer: [to Danny, Sam and Tucker] YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!
Jack: Skipping school, stealing and wrecking the Specter Speeder!
Mr. Lancer: Calling me "old man!"
Maddie: Tucker, Sam, when I call your parents, you are going to be grounded... [Maddie pauses - she has been overshadowed by Dani] but there's no need to call their parents, really. Right?
Everyone except Maddie: What?!
Mr. Lancer: Just wait a minute! [Mr. Lancer pauses - he has also been overshadowed by Dani] No, she's right. I mean, you can always build a better and more cool version of your... ship thing. Right?
Jack: Hey, that's true! I'm gonna start building a cooler ship thing right now! [He runs to his lab. Everyone else looks at each other, confused.]

Double Cross My Heart [2.18]

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Skulker: [having just captured a small ghost] The element of surprise, a hunter's best friend. [Is attacked by the Guys in White] And the hunted's worst enemy!
Mr. Lancer: Ah... the perfect way to spend lunch; Shakespeare by the pool, and dry white toast!
[the pool explodes]
Mr. Lancer: Hunt for Red October!
Danny: Close... but I lost 'em!
Operative O: Guess again, kiddo!
[the Guys in White appear near him with guns blazing.]
Danny: What's the matter with you two?! I'm not doing anything! Why can't you just leave me alone?!
Operative K: A prepubescent specter operating freely? Unacceptable!
Danny: Hey! I have totally hit puberty! [reaches into his shirt and pulls out a white chest hair] See?! That's totally a chest hair.
Danny: [After being hunted by Guys In White] Could this week get any worse? [spots Sam and Gregor coming out of the mall]
Gregor: Wait, Sam. There's something I must tell you right here and now.
Sam: Okay, what?
Gregor: You have little tiny strand of spaghetti hanging from your lip. Right here. [kisses Sam]
Danny: Okay. Now, it's officially worse.
Operative O: [to Mr. Lancer] The Purpleback Gorilla research we traced goes back to an assignment YOU set back a while ago.
Mr. Lancer: And what makes you think I want to cooperate with the feds?
Operative K: Because ghosts pose a constant threat to your student body.
Operative O: And because we're with the government and have access to your tax records...
Mr. Lancer: What do you want to know and how fast do you want to know it?
Gregor: Danny, I wish to talk to you. If you're done talking to yourself.
Danny: Uh... ha, oh uh, he... Sure Gregor. What's up?
Gregor: I am not blind. You do not like me...
Danny: Gregor, that's not...
Gregor: Eh, let me finish. You do not like me because you want to protect your friend Sam. And I respect this.
Danny: It's not just that.
Gregor: You like her more than just friends?
Danny: Well...
Gregor: You hesitate. Which means you're unsure. I am not, and I'm going to ask her out.
Sam: [about Gregor] Ugh, he's not my boyfriend. I dumped him as soon as I found out you were right about him being a phony. Apparently, that is the only way a guy could like me.
Tucker: That's not true.
Danny: That's totally not true! There's a million reasons a boy could like you. I mean... you're smart, you're fun, you're cool, you're pretty- [stops abruptly after catching himself; Sam blushes] Why am I still talking? I am such a spaz. Still friends?
Sam: Pssh. The best.

Reality Trip [2.19-20]

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Freakshow: What do you want?
Guy in White #1: Your knowledge of ghostly items. Anything you care to tell us about this? [presses button revealing metal arm and the three reality gems]
Freakshow: The Reality Gauntlet! Never heard of it.
Sam: Which reminds me, how did you convince my parents to let me spend an entire summer with your parents?
[Danny smiles and thinks back to scene with Sam's parents in their house; Danny overshadows Sam's mom]
Danny as Sam's mom: You know, I think the Fentons are wonderful. I think we should let Sam take a cross-country trip with them!
[Danny moves and overshadows Sam's dad]
Danny as Sam's Dad: And I agree with you. Let's never speak of this again.
[back to present]
Danny: Uh, let's just say I finally got under their skin.
Paulina:[as Danny is shooting Lydia's tattoos away one by one] HE LOVES ME! He loves me not. HE LOVES ME! [she beams at him]
[after Danny and his friends are pulled into the locker room by Dash, Paulina, and others.]
Danny: You're... helping me?
Dash: Well, duh! You've only been helping us for, like, ever!
Paulina: [kissing Danny on the cheek] "Paulina Fenton." Hee, I finally wrapped my mind around it!
Sam: Okay, I'm feeling relieved and nauseated at the same time.
Sam's dad: [to Jack; after Danny's secret is revealed] YOU!
Jack: YOU! [Sam's dad & Jack face off and start glaring at each other.]
Sam's dad: We were watching "Extreme Nanny Makeover", when we found out YOUR son was a ghost!
Jack: Why are you yelling at us?! YOUR spooky-yooky bat daughter HAS to be behind this!
Tucker's dad: [steps in] Now fellas, it's okay to point fingers as long as nobody's pointing them at my son.
Maddie: [exasperatedly] Okay! Maybe Danny IS the ghost boy. But it's not as though our ghost activities have ever put YOUR families in any danger!
[the ground begins to quake; Lydia's ghost tattoos come into the Fenton Works' kitchen and surround everyone; they glare at Jack.]
Jack: [shrugs] Until now.
[Danny turns the Fenton Rocket invisible]
Guy in White 1: We've lost visual contact. Activate White Fang tracking device.
Guy in White 2: White Fang?
Guy in White 1: I don't name this stuff.
[Danny, Sam, and Tucker arrive at Goth-apalooza, only to find the place overrun with ultra-cute decorations and teddy bears.]
Teddy Bears: WE LOVE YOU!
Sam: Destroy them, Danny! Find the gem that did this AND TEAR THE STUFFING OUT OF EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!
Danny: Somehow, I don't think that'll be necessary... May I have the Gem of Form?
Teddy Bears: Say the magic word!
Sam: Die?
Danny: Please?
Freakshow: Ladies and gentlemen! Freaks of all ages! May I direct your attention to the center ring! Where Danny Phantom, aka, Danny Fenton will attempt to rescue his friends and family from a ghastly doom of my own construction!
[the families of Danny, Sam, and Tucker are locked up in train cages]
Sam's dad: [to Tucker's dad] This is Fenton's fault, pass it down.
Tucker's dad: [to Jack] This is Fenton's fault, pass it down.
Jack: [to Maddie] This is...[realizes who he's talking about] HEY! Wait a minute!
[Freakshow and Lydia have escaped the Guys in White.]
Freakshow: What should we do with our newfound freedom? Dinner? Movie? Make myself ringmaster of all reality? [laughs hysterically]
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