Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time

Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time is the 8th installment of the Crash Bandicoot video game series. The game takes place after the events of Warped. It features a tribute to the late Mel Winkler, the original voice of Aku Aku (until 2004).

Akano

Mmm...
Ban-di-coot. Hmm, follow.
[sees Crash and Coco unconscious] Hmm? Hmm... AWAKE! Follow.
Mmm... nachos.
[to Cortex] You, stay!

Aku Aku

A great power has awoken. Crash, I fear it portends an event of reality-shattering proportions. I feel it emanating from N. Sanity Peak. Quickly, we must go! [Crash, still asleep on the couch, doesn't follow him] Crash. Crash! CRASH! [Aku Aku's shout scares Crash, who wakes up and falls off the couch]
Lani-Loli? If the Quantum Masks have returned, then...
We can meet with the others after we've explored. Now, which way are the food trucks?
[to Cortex] Yes.
[laughs]

Coco Bandicoot

Crash? Who is that?
It appears to be a door between dimensions.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
So we need the masks to close the rifts?
Don't worry. We have a thing where we fight, he loses. It's a well-established dynamic.
[drops free] Oh. Thank you so much... Wait, Tawna? But you're...different. You're not from our universe!
We lost touch in your universe too, huh?
[chuckles] What, did we, like, die or something?
The usual. Bunch of evil scientists attempting interdimensional domination.
[referring to the Quantum Masks] Masks.
Wait, you're not coming?
[after Tawna leaves] Oh...
[hears gong] Ahh! Eeh! So where's the next mask?
Uh... Yeah!
[clears throat] Let's get outta here.
Three.
[interrupts Cortex] But not if we get him first.
Uh, sorry to interrupt but existence could end at any minute now, so can we please hurry?
Now that we found Ika-Ika, that's all four! What's next?
Sounds like it's time to kick some N. Tropy butt!
[notices Dingodile] Dingodile?
Got it. [referring to Cortex] Our bad guy's had a change of heart too.
Ugh...
It looks like we're on route to the Rift Generator. But we'd be a lot faster in... [notices hovercraft] ...that! [Tawna ties Crash and Coco up] What the?! Tawna?
But...we're a team... [she and Crash watch Tawna fly away]
[to the female N. Tropy, referring to Tawna] LET HER GO!
Huh?
We did it!
You said it, Crash.
I like the pickled wumpa leaves.
He means you, Crash.
[to Cortex] Yes.
Explains a lot.
YES! Wumpa victory! [Quantum Masks cheer] Hey, Crash, you're in. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

Crash Bandicoot

Hmm... [picks up Lani-Loli]
Eh. Pffft.
[confused] Hmm.
Huh? [drops free] Bleh.
Mm-mm.
[after Tawna leaves] Oh...
Haha! [picks up Akano]
[Akano drops on his feet] AAAAAAHHHH!!!
Ahh! [hits gong then gibbers dizzily]
[sees N. Brio] Ahh!
Oh. [chuckles]
Ha ha!
Huh?
Whoa!
[gasps in shock]
[to Cortex] Mm-hmm.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Dingodile

[gasps] Uh-oh.
Ohoho! Crikey, I'm starved. [gasps] Wait, is that... [sniffing] roadkill pie, slug and centipede gumbo, braised bat tacos with guanamole? Well now, what have we got here?
[on TV] Tired of that vile swill Papa Batfield cooks up in his filthy outhouse? C'mon down to Dingo's Diner!
Oy! You buggers stay outta my diner!
[laughs then sighs] Huh? [sees quantum rift] Ahh! Crikey, not again!
[sees Crash, Coco, and Cortex falling down] Crikey!
Easy, chums. If I was here to fight, you'd be cactus.
Yeah. Just tryna get home. I was enjoyin' the retired life, see.
[elbow bumps Crash and chuckles]
Oy! What'd I miss?
[slaps N. Tropies with his tail] Bloody dags.
[to Kupuna-Wa] Oy. Not that it ain't been fun, but about my ticket home...
Ugh, strewth! Who cooked it?! Heat was too high. S'why it was all rubbery inside. Subpar grill marks too.
Oh...
[on TV] Dingo's Diner is back and ready for you! Say g'day to delectable dishes inspired by my interdimensional travels. Enjoy the breeze with our innovative three-wall dining room design. Dingo's Diner: health and safety rated "D"...for "Delicious"!

Dr. N. Gin

Master, my mechanical marvel will hypnotize you an army!
Welcome to the show, vermin! Looking for your precious mask?
Not this time! I've got a backstage pass for you to get up close and personal with my weapon of mass percussion. Come ready to rock!
Tonight, live at the War Palace... get ready for a KILLER performance!
Ehehehehe chomp chomp!
You think you're so great with your stupid grin on your stupid face. Stupid!
Enough with the jumping already! Showoff.
Minion! Leave behind nothing but a smoking crater!
Greasemonkey Gazette raves: A DEADLY display that will BLOW your mind (and body, into pieces.)
A performance so electrifying you may just spontaneously combust! Or, uh, not-so-spontaneously...
Scurry scurry little rats, or you'll miss the show!
Admittance to tonight's performance is free. First come, first TORN TO SHREDS!
Let's see that blood spray!
Frank! Filthy rodent! Kill my favorite minion will you?!
Just make it quick this time.
The show of the century! Tonight, 10 p.m., and 6 feet under!
You're gonna be right on time... if you don't become roadkill first!
A spectacle so incredible you won't believe your eyes, or ears, or failing internal organs!
The best show you'll ever see! The LAST show you'll ever see! Ehehehe!
Attention minions, the bandicoots are in sight! Start the Doom Rig!
Are you ready? Start...your...bwaah?! SABOTAGE!!!
Run run vroom vroom! Ehehehehehe!
What's taking you imbeciles so long?! Your target's caged, for cripes sake!
Alright, all you bloodthirsty lunatics. Put your freaky little hands together for...RAWK-IT HEAD! 1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4.
Prepare for a beat-ing, bandicoots!
You're ruining my solo!
Stop it stop it stop it stop it!
Stay away from my robot! He's fragile.
What's the matter? Don't like DEATH METAL?!
My equipment!
No bandicoots allowed on the drums!
GAAAAH!!! The show must go on!
Paws off the stereo!
You really know how to make me mad!
Argh! Fine! We'll do this the hard way.
Quit breaking my things!
Will you stop interrupting my set?!
Noooo! Hmm. [blasted off from explosion] AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! [falls down] Ow, ow, ow, oh! My beautiful creation...

Dr. Nefarious Tropy

[to Cortex] Hush, simpleton.
At least Uka Uka and I attempt to free us from this prison. I won't sit idly by and listen to your inane ramblings for another decade! And the way you chew.
[referring to Uka Uka] Leave him. He served his purpose. [laughs maniacally]
Uka Uka unknowingly paved the way for our bright future. Once my Rift Generator is complete, dominion over all of time and space will be within our grasp!
[to N. Gin and N. Brio] HASTEN YOUR STEPS! By my calculations, our enemies are already moving against us. And we...will...prevail.
[to Cortex] I knew you would be unable to handle this...simplest of tasks.
How fortunate. You see, I no longer have need for our alliance. I've found a new partner...and a new plan.
Of course! The Rift Generator has capabilities beyond your meagre imagination. You were content to simply rule over space and time, but I'd rather start from scratch. Erase it all. Wipe the slate clean. I'm going to reset the timeline and rebuild it to my liking. I will become a god, which means you won't exist, and neither will those featherbrained masks, or those meddling marsupials! [laughs evilly]
[to N. Oxide] Silence, whelp!
You try my patience, Oxide.
[to his female counterpart] You manage our affairs with such poise.
Delicious.
Let's make this fun. Give them a sporting chance.
Curse you...

Female

[referring to N. Oxide] Now, now. I'm sure this insect knows how to obey an order.
[to N. Oxide] Take your ship to planet Bermugula and be on the lookout for any ships approaching the Rift Generator. We can't afford any unwanted visitors.
[to her original counterpart] Naturally. As do you.
[to Tawna] What's the matter, hero? Couldn't solo this one?
The last time I killed her friends, her screams were exquisite.
Ooh. [throws Tawna to the ground] Let's see what you mongrels can do as a pack!
...bandicoots.

Dr. Neo Cortex

Crash Bandicoot, at last I, the great Neo Cortex, have you right where I want you. And now the final blow!
Face it, N. Tropy. It's going to fail...again.
[referring to Uka Uka] Is he dead?
N. Gin, N. Brio, you had some little projects you wanted to tell me about?
Right, yeah, fine, sure. Have fun with your...ray guns or whatever.
Crash Bandiccot, you banished me to the past. But all it did was give more time to plan your doom. You'll find me up the mountain. Don't freeze on the way!
Hmm. [notices Crash] Oh! [laughs] Just a few more steps and you'll be bandicoot bar-barba-CHOO! [sneezes and accidentally pushes the button on his detonator] Ahh!
Crash Bandicoot. It's about time. This is going to be just like the old days...except, this time, EVERYTHING WILL GO ACCORDING TO MY PLAN! [laughs maniacally]
Not again!
Blasted bandicoots! Oh, must we keep going around and around like this? Tell me, Crash, is this all there is, forever? [Crash shrugs] Ugh...
Gloat all you want. I quit. If we need me, I'll be on a tropical island somewhere, alone.
You were scheming behind my back?!
[referring to N. Tropy] Wiped from existence by that pompous peacock?! I'd like to see him try after I shove that tuning fork up his... [interrupted by Coco]
It appears we have a common enemy. Perhaps there's a way out of our endless cycle after all. [Crash hugs him] Huh? Okay...um... [sighs] Hm.
That would be N. Tropy and his precious "Rift Generator".
[sadly] "Bad guy"?
[points at N. Tropy] N. Tropy!
What's the matter? Unable to handle even the simplest of tasks? I no longer have need for our...[pause]...alliance.
Cortex, you cad! Why did you not see it before? [laughs evilly and aims for Kupuna-Wa]
There's another way I can end this cycle of endless fighting between us. I can go back to where it started. I can undo my greatest failure!
Bye-bye, bandicoots! [laughing maniacally]
[sees Crash and Coco came along with him unnoticeably] You again?! You two are so clingy! Take a hint already!
[to his past self] Do you not recognize your own face? I've come from future to warn you! If you try to turn Crash Bandicoot into the General of your army, you will fail! The machine rejects... [interrupted by his past self]
Ugh, why won't I listen to me?!
[interrupts his past self] I'm you from the future, you idiot! I... [interrupted by his past]
Do you have any idea how stubborn I used to be?
Hmm. [referring to his past self] I need to stop him from making you. But I can't kill him, because that would kill me. So I guess that means I'll have to kill you! [laughs maniacally]
Not like this! [crates fall on him] Doh! Ugh! Oh! Ow! Huh! Augh!
Ugh. What are you going to do to me?
Hmm. [chuckles] Ahh, peace at last.

90's Cortex

Who's on my super secret personal frequency? What?! Who is this-this impostor?!
[interrupts his future self] Fraud! Fiend! N. Brio, alert the guards!
Masquerade as me, will you? Well... [interrupted by his future self]
[interrupts his future self] I'm not the idiot! You're the idiot, idiot! Get him!
[falls briefly] Ugh, ohh. Hmm, must've taken a hit to the old temporal lobe. But a fallen foe can only mean one thing: it came to blows and I WON! [to his future self about Crash] My new General's first order of business will be to dispose of you. [laughs evilly] We're closer than ever before. Quickly, into the Vortex!
Failure again!

Dr. Nitrus Brio

And my potion will make me...ahem...them unstoppable!
[to Crash, Coco and Lani-Loli] Friends, I have a fun little game for you to play! I've got a reward for the clever bandicoots who can reach my testing grounds. But you'll have to defeat my deadly diabolical creations along the way! [laughs evilly]
Sooo, it's been awhile. Whatcha been up to? Oh, me? Mostly the same: mixing potions, brewing potions, drinking potions, t-t-testing potions.
This dimension was quite p-p-peaceful when I arrived. Unfortunately, my p-p-potions had some... murderous effects on the inhabitants. [sighs] All the better to test you with! Muahahahaha!
[startled by Tawna] Dah!
Hmm... that's what I've always liked about you! So dedicated to science. Not like the natives here, unwilling to cooperate with even a single d-d-deadly test.
I wish I didn't have to resort to live tests for my experiments, but you know: omelets, eggs, super powered potions, marsupia-- uhh, I mean... other animals.
Oh, look at us, just like the old days... working together against those who keep us down and humiliate us by forcing us to pick out our own birthday card and sign them for him! I mean... he could have at least paid half!
I can't say I see the appeal of all the jumping you do... but perhaps I don't have the right body for it ...yet.
Sometimes, I think you're my only f-f-friends. And then I realize... no, that's right.
Any guesses on your r-r-reward? I'll give you a hint: it's something you had before! Muahahahaha!
Once I perfect my p-p-potion, I'll be strong enough to defeat anyone! Even C-C-C-Corte--ahahahahahahaha! I just need to test my might against... a formidable foe.
We make a good team. If you survive my trial, I-- uhh... if you enjoy your reward-- we will... make... ad even better team. Uh-huh. Yes.
Yes, hurry! Your reward is just up ahead!
Hmm. Hmm. [laughs maniacally] Oh, good! You've arrived! And now for your reward!
Just stay put while I test this!
Hold still!
For science!
Not the face!
I just need to know if this is lethal!
Stop spinning! You’re making me d-d-d-dizzy!
Fly, my gelatinous puppets!
Fiddlesticks!
Enjoy your trip!
This one has extra b-b-botulinum!
Yes, ooze your way to victory!
No!
Why?!
Why don't people take me seriously?
[as a pterosaur] And now for my final t-t-test, taste my reptilian wrath! [notices pain] Ahh...my cloaca... [lays egg] Bwah! Ugh. [sobfully as he flies away] Ow. Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh...

90's Brio

But, Dr. Cortex, the Vortex is not ready! We have no idea what it could do! [laughs crazily]

Ika-Ika

[screams then flips gravity] Bwah? Goodness, if it isn't Lani-Loli! How are you, brother?
[flips gravity then laughs] Don't mind grumpy gus. He's always a downer.
[to Cortex] Enjoy the end of the universe!

Downer personality

[sighs] When's existence ever done anything for anyone anyway?
Yeah, don't mind me. I don't matter. Nothing matters.

Kupuna-Wa

[yawns] Wah? What time is it? Oh goodness, I ought to know... Crash! Coco! C'mon, give old Kupuna-Wa a kiss, eh? [laughs then kisses Crash] Don't look at me like I broke wind at a wedding. I'm time! I see everything! And I mean everything! There's some very unexpected events in your future. Your very NEAR future. Shocking events that will CHANGE THE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE...
Well, if you'd rather not know about the giant mask-eating monster from beyond the stars, that is your choice. [chuckles]
[to the other Quantum Masks] Right then, let's plug up these holes!
Right! Now that we've mended things, we can take you anywhere, anywhen, after we rest. For now I can only take us as far as the culinary capital of the universe: Neon City!
[to Cortex] Eh-eh! Looks like somebody needs a little timeout.

Lani-Loli

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no way. Not in a million... AAAAAAAAHHH!
[stuck to Crash] Yiiii! Get him off. Get him off. Get him off.
[chokes then spits] Hey, Aku! How's it g-g-gah… Is that a Quantum Rift? [breathing heavily]
Yes, yes! The kind we keep shut! We have to go through, find my siblings, and fix this before some putz with a big evil plan and a BIGGER EGO DOES SOMETHING MONUMENTALLY STUPID!
Correct! Now my brother Akano is around here somewhere.
Ah... Behold the aforementioned putz.
[screams] AKANO!
Akano! Old Dark Matter himself! Careful, Crash. He's heavier than he...
Oh, good, you're awake!
Alright! Two masks down, two to go! Feeling a little less panicked. I was at a 10 before, now I'm at a solid, let's say, 9.78888. Oh, yeah. These bandicoots are here to help.
[referring to Akano] Short and to the point. Love this guy!
Not here. If these chucklenuts weren't punching holes in reality, we could open our own rifts. For now, we're stuck taking the long route. But I sense another rift around here somewhere. [sees N. Brio then screams]
[Kupuna-Wa] Yeah, just gonna stop you there before you tell us how we all die!
Leaving now!
[referring to Cortex] Wow, you know, I'm sensing a real fraught history here. How many times have you beaten this clown anyway?
Really? Only three? [Crash nods his head] Funny. Seemed like more.
[to Ika-Ika] WAKE UP!!!
We can't close the rifts until we stop whatever is opening them.
[opens rift to Neon City] Yeah!
Somewhere he can't cause any trouble.

Nitros Oxide

[to N. Tropy] But, sir...
But...
[to the female N. Tropy] At once, your foulness.
Ship launch in 10, 9... ugh, I should have started at 3. BLASTOFF!
[on radio] September 9th, entry 7. Dear Diary, that rash still hasn't gone away and...
Stowaways?! Well- hey, where'd my kart go?!
I swear I left my kart parked right there...
My 6th kart stolen this year! [sobs] My wife's gonna kill me.
Attention crew: asteroid field ahead, buckle your seatbelts!
We're hit! Unbuckle those seatbelts and FIX MY SHIP!!
Quickly minions, prepare Master an escape pod!
ABANDON SHIP!!!

Tawna Bandicoot

Aha!
Hmm. Hang on, guys! I'm coming!
It's so good to see you guys. It's... been a long time for me.
Yeah, you could say that.
What? No! Nope! No! What? Ha! No! Definitely not! So how are things in your dimension? Ahem.
Huh. So, whatcha collecting? Crystals? Gems?
Ooh, fun. Well, good luck with that.
Sorry. I fly solo. But I'll-I'll lend a hand where I can. In fact, I already have.
[to N. Brio] Hey!
Hmm. [pulls lever] Hm.
[referring to Dingodile] He's with me. Found him lost out there. Caught him up on the whole time-space, y'know, thing.
[points at the female N. Tropy] N. Tropy!
Ugh. Barf.
I'm not losing you guys in this dimension too. I got this.
No!
[to Coco] Yeah we did. [she hi5's Coco]
That shnurgle shank was killer.
[to Crash and Coco] Give him hell!
Oh oh! Almost there, almost there! Get the... YES!
5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

Uka Uka

Hyuuuuuuugh-aagh!
Hyuuuuah! Ahuuugh!!
Oh... [faints]

Dialogue

Dr. Neo Cortex: The bandicoot bipedalization was a success. If he survives my trials of wit and strength, he'll be promoted to general of my army.

N. Brio: You mean, you'll brainwash him, master?

Dr. Neo Cortex: To-may-to, po-tah-to.

[During the credits]

Disclaimer Voice: This game has been a work of fiction. Any similarity to any marsupials, talking masks, dingo-alligator hybrids or evil science guys with weirdly-shaped heads, living or dead, is purely coincidental. You should not have played this game if you suffer from: Wumpa allergy, Crash rash, fear of alternate dimensions, fear of moving platforms, fear of still platforms, fear of sequels, fear of squishy noises, fear of bouncy noises, fear of super-science, fear of collecting things, fear of 90's nostalgia, inability to comprehend time paradoxes, inability to forgive those who have wronged you, inability to pick a restaurant when someone ask you what you're hungry for, inability to remember where you parked, or a delicate tummy. For more information on bandicoots and their diet, habitat, mating habits, birthday wishlists and shoe sizes, visit your local library or ask your grandma. I don't know if she has any prior experience with bandicoots, but she's very wise and I'm sure she'd love to hear from you. The makers of this game do not in any way endorse eating at Dingodile's Diner, which has been known to cause transdimensional discharge, intestinal rifts, Wumpa whooping cough, parasitic slime boils, random teleportation into darker timelines, and uncontrollable mewing like a little kitty-cat during important business meetings. [takes a deep breath] Any unauthorized exhibition, distribution, or duplication of this game will result in very hurt feelings - and why would you want to hurt our feelings? We've always said really nice things about you. We even said your new haircut looked great, even though it was kind of a weird length for you. Guests of Crash Bandicoot stay at N. Sane Beach Suites, which is just a log with some moss on it. The moss is really soft, though, so you should be able to get a good night's sleep. What, are you too good to sleep on a log? Sorry, your majesty, I suppose you want a continental breakfast instead of a handful of ants that make their nest under the tree?! Geez, Louise, there's no pleasing some people! [pants] Can you give me a minute? [takes another deep breath] Okay, I'm ready to go again. The events of this game are absolutely 100% canonical, unless you didn't like them. In that case, it was all a dream.