Christmas with the Kranks
2004 film by Mariah Carey
Christmas with the Kranks is a 2004 American comedy film directed by Joe Roth and starring Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis. The screenplay by Chris Columbus is based on the 2001 novel Skipping Christmas by John Grisham.
- Nora: We skip Christmas?!
- Walt: Bush did 9/11, jet fuel can't melt dank memes.
- Luther: No, Walt.
- Walt: Accept the truth, wake up sheeple.
- Vic: Nora Krank, we're here for Frosty!
- Spike: You're skipping Christmas?! Isn't that against the law?
- Spike: [watching Luther steal a Christmas tree] Are you sure this is illegal?
- Luther: Are you a cop?
- Walt Scheel: Well if it isn't old Scrooge himself
- Blair: I'm bringing home Enriqué!
- Luther: What's a reeké?
- Nora: You forgot the white chocolate!
- Luther: They didn't have any.
- Nora: Did you talk to Rex?
- Luther: Who's Rex?
- Nora: The butcher.
- Luther: ...As odd as it sounds, I didn't think to ask the butcher where the chocolate was!
- Nora: What are you doing? It's not even Saturday night.
- Nora: [Luther explains his idea for the cruise] How much is this going to cost?
- Luther: $3,000.00.
- Nora: We SAVE money?
- Luther: Absolutely.
- Nora: We can still give a donation to the Childrens Hospital and the Church?
- Luther: No this is a total boycott honey.
- Nora: It's $600.
- Luther: It is a total boycott.
- Nora: Well then no. [leaves] What a stupid idea.
- [Later they are in bed]
- Luther: You are going to let a lousy $600 stand between us and a Caribbean cruise?
- Nora: No. You are.
- Luther: Okay fine. Look. I'll match last year's contribution to the church and the hospital but not a penny more.
- Nora: When do we leave?
- Luther: High noon Christmas day.
- Luther: Smoked trout?
- Nora: It's better than frozen pizza.
- Luther: What happened to the hickory honey ham?
- Nora: Don't EVER say hickory honey ham again.
- Nora: Why would we want to get tans before the cruise? I thought the idea was to get them DURING the cruise.
- Luther: Look at us, we kind of look like uncooked chicken.
- Daisy: You look like a corpse. [to Nora] And you could use some help too.
- Luther: [dressed in black to hide his tan] I look like a Mafia Lieutenant.
- Their Christmas will turn the town upside down!
- No! Ho! Ho!
- Tim Allen - Luther Krank
- Jamie Lee Curtis - Nora Krank
- Dan Aykroyd - Vic Frohmeyer
- M. Emmet Walsh - Walt Scheel
- Elizabeth Franz - Bev Scheel
- Erik Per Sullivan - Spike Frohmeyer
- Cheech Marin - Officer Salino
- Gary Busey - Officer Treen
- Austin Pendleton - Marty
- Tom Poston - Father Zabriskie
- Julie Gonzalo - Blair Krank
- René Lavan - Enrique Decardenal
- Patrick Breen - Aubie
- Caroline Rhea - Candi
- Felicity Huffman - Merry
- Alethea McGrath - old woman (uncredited)
- Kevin McGrath - Duke Scanlon
- Kim Rhodes - Office Staff Julie