Boy Meets World (season 1)

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Boy Meets World (1993–2000) was a television sitcom in which Cory Matthews (Ben Savage) experiences all the twists and turns of life along with his teacher, Mr. Feeny (William Daniels); his brother, Eric (Will Friedle); his best friend, Shawn (Rider Strong); and his girlfriend, Topanga (Danielle Fishel).

Pilot [1.1]

Cory: You had a bad date?

Eric: No, I had a great date! Heather was beautiful she knew what to say, she knew what to do, . But her date tripped over chairs, spilled food and couldn't think of anything intersting to say for nine innings.

[Mr. Feeny takes Cory's headphones after he catches him listening to a walkman radio during class.]

Feeny: What is this, Mr. Matthews?

Cory: Huh? What'd you say, Mr. Feeny? You took my hearing aid.

On the Fence [1.2]

Cory: Dad, I need a job.

Alan: You need to be a kid.

Cory: I wanna be able to afford stuff!

Alan: So do I!

Cory: What? Do all women have antennas hidden somewhere on their bodies?

Eric: I dunno. None of them will let me look.

Father Knows Less [1.3]

Feeny: Anyway, that night it was announced that President Truman was going on the radio to announce the war was going to end, and I asked my father if I could stay up with him to listen to it. What do you think he said?

Cory: I'm guessing either yes or no, but we both know how I do on multiple choice.

Cory: [to Feeny] It's hard to imagine you as a kid. Did your parents call you Mr. Feeny?

Cory's Alternative Friends [1.4]

Morgan: Mommy, if my dolly is cold, can I put her in the toaster oven?

Amy: No, honey, that would be a mistake.

Morgan: Mommy?

Amy: What?

Morgan: I made a mistake.

Amy: Cory, what did you do to your beautiful hair?

Cory: It wasn't beautiful, it looked like Velcro!

Eric: Nothing's gonna stick to that now, man.

Cory: Shawn and I have another project we're working on.

Topanga: What is it?

Shawn: You know how those dolphins get caught in the tuna nets?

Topanga: Yeah?

Shawn: It's got nothing to do with that.

Killer Bees [1.5]

Cory: Math: two plus two is always four. Science: the Earth always goes around the sun. History: Lincoln always gets shot in the head.

Feeny: Lincoln got off easy.

Feeny: All right, Mr. Matthews, I will take you on. I shall prep you for the tournament. I know that your motives are not pure, but I hope your quest for the prize will lead you to the temple of knowledge.

Cory: Yeah, yeah, if it's on the way.

Boys II Mensa [1.6]

Cory: Well, how come when I make paper airplanes I get detention and he doesn't?

[Feeny and Cory look towards Minkus making a paper airplane like a miniature-scale model of a biplane.]

Cory: I withdraw the question.

[Eric has bought Morgan a zombie costume for Halloween.]

Amy: There weren't any Cinderella costumes?

Eric: Hundreds of them.

Amy: And you had to pick axe-in-the-head here?

Eric: It was the last one, Mom. She picked it out herself, it was her decision.

Alan: Eric, 24 hours ago she didn't have any idea what a zombie was.

Morgan: The undead are cool!

Grandma Was a Rolling Stone [1.7]

Cory: [referring to a baseball card] She paid $7 for it at a swap-meet.

Shawn: $7 in dog years: This baby's worth $150 easy. Your grandmother must really love you.

Cory: Or she shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Shawn: You're kidding, aren't you?

Cory: I'm not sure.

Eric: Nice? She's beautiful. I mean, she's the most incredible girl I ever kissed.

Cory: Which puts her on a list of two?

Teacher's Bet [1.8]

Cory: Minkus, get a life. That's your homework assignment: Get. A. Life.

Cory: [reading attendance sheet] Lawrence, Topanga?

Topanga: [sitting on the floor on a pillow] I am channeling. I will only answer to the name of: [opens eyes] Oommmmmooooooowwwwwwooo!

Cory: Present... but not all here.

Class Pre-Union [1.9]

[Cory is dressed as George Washington and Minkus is dressed as King George.]

Cory: Fine, keep your goods. Like we need your stinkin' British goods. We're American, we're independent. We'll get our goods from Japan!

Cory: Just last night your son was imprisoned in his room, forbidden to go to the movies with his best friends.

Alan: Our daughter didn't dial random numbers in Saskatchewan just to hear people "talk Canadian".

[Cory is dressed as George Washington]

Cory: How come every boring guy in history is named George?[Mr. Feeny looks at him angrily] I mean every dead boring guy.

Santa's Little Helper [1.10]

Feeny: You know what my favorite part about Christmas is?

Cory: I go away for a week?

Feeny: Yeah, that's pretty special.

Alan: You know, Cor, when I was a kid, Christmas was about appreciating your gifts because they were given with love.

Cory: Oh, right. Glad that's over.

The Father/Son Game [1.11]

Cory: Hey, Mom, this cereal is bogus. Where's my blue sugar moons? Where're my yellow teddy bears? All this is, is hamster food and cornflake dust. Where's all the good stuff?

Amy: Morgan.

Cory: She took out all the good stuff.

Morgan: I've been up since 6 o' clock!

Amy: What is this? Sugar-coated... sugar?

Morgan: I'm feeling very perky!

Amy: Come on, Morgan, let's get you into bed.

Morgan: How come? How come? How come how come how come?

Amy: Because if we hurry we might just make it to your bed before the coma.

Morgan: Coma? Coma? Coma coma coma?

Alan: Don't waste this, honey, have her paint the house.

Cory: Friday, I love Friday. Soon I'm gonna be home for the whole weekend.

Amy: Friday, I hate Friday. Soon you're gonna be home for the whole weekend.

Cory: Oh, you love me.

Amy: Oh, you wish.

Once in Love with Amy [1.12]

Amy: When you're a kid, you see everything as right or wrong, black or white...

Eric: Blonde or brunette...

Alan: Where are Eric and Cory?

Shawn: They... went to the library.

Alan: You mean the public library, the one that closes at nine?

Shawn: Oh no, the other one.

Alan: I'm gonna take Morgan upstairs, and then you and I are gonna talk a little more.

Shawn: Like a relationship-building thing?

Alan: No. [goes upstairs]

Shawn: Wow. For the first time in my life, I'm in trouble with someone else's dad!

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not [1.13]

Eric: Maybe you'll smoke.

Minkus: I don't think so.

Eric: What if...[points to Topanga] she thought smoking was cool? Would you smoke then?

Minkus: In a heartbeat.

Eric: [to Topanga about Minkus] He smokes. You think that's cool?

Topanga: I think any man that smokes is a pig.

Minkus: I'm trying to quit!

Eric: What about alcohol?

Minkus: Could you use someone else as an example?!

Topanga: You are so wise.

Eric: Yes, I am. And that wisdom comes from knowing that if you have a relationship based on looks, it's stupid and superficial.

[The doorbell rings and Eric answers it.]

Nebula: Hi, I'm Topanga's sister.

Eric: Hi, I'm stupid and superficial.

The B-Team of Life [1.14]

Shawn: That's gotta be a typo!

Cory: It's hand-written!

Cory: I'm second-string, Mr. Feeny.

Minkus: Hey, congratulations! Did you tell your dad?

Cory: No, I happen to like my dad.

Model Family [1.15]

Shawn: They were too perfect.

Cory: Yeah, too T.V.

Feeny: I agree with you, Mr. Matthews.

Cory: That's not like you.

Feeny: Which brings me to today's assignment.

Cory: That's like you.

Minkus: Don't you hate it when Mom and Dad fight?

Shawn: No. Into it.

Cory: Well, we won't be fighting for long. I've got something that'll take the fight right out of Mom. Read it and weep, Little Big Hair.

Topanga: [reading off Cory's paper] "My model wife won't care how dirty my room gets. She'll always let me win at video games. She'll play street hockey any time of the day or night." Why don't you just marry Shawn?

[Cory and Shawn look at each other]

Cory: Because our kids would look like horses.

Risky Business [1.16]

Minkus: [referring to Cory and Shawn] There's a sucker born every minute. Two that minute.

Cory: Mr. Feeny, effort is my middle name.

Shawn: Because it starts with F.

The Fugitive [1.17]

Feeny: Mr. Matthews, unhand that Minkus!

Eric: I know what you're hiding.

Cory: You do?

Eric: Yup. I tried the same thing when I was your age. The noises, the food sneaking, the look on your face at dinner... YOU'RE HIDING A PUPPY!

It's a Wonderful Night [1.18]

Eric: [looking at cover of movie] "Barney Does The ABC's." I don't wanna give the ending away, Cor, but... Z.

Cory: "I'm Blowin' Up Your Head, Part 6: Stumpy's Revenge" I thought Stumpy died in "Part 5."

Shawn: He did. That's why he wants revenge.

Kid Gloves [1.19]

Topanga: Each of our bodies is the master creation of Mother Nature.

Shawn: Well, except for Minkus. He was created by Mother Goose.

Feeny: This has got to be the most half-baked idea you've ever had!

Cory: No, it was fully-baked.

The Play's The Thing [1.20]

Feeny: You will be a spear-carrier.

Shawn: So this guy I play is like, what, a warrior and a hero?

Feeny: No, this guy you play has very few lines to memorize.

Cory: You know, maybe if Hamlet had worn pants, he could have made a decision or two.

Topanga: Was that a sexist comment?

Cory: That's what I was shootin' for.

Shawn: Don't worry about her- her dad sews.

Boy Meets Girl [1.21]

Cory: Beautiful? I've seen hormones turn a normal guy's face into Craters 'R Us.

Feeny: Yes, there will be side-effects, but those, thank goodness, will be the province of your seventh-grade teacher.

Cory: If it happens.

Feeny: Oh, it will happen.

Cory: Maybe, maybe not. I mean, I'm young and I'm fast. I can dodge hormones for days, years if I have to. I'm gonna stay twelve 'til I'm forty-two.

Shawn: Tell me something. How do you ask a girl out?

Cory: Simple. You open the door and say, "Get out, you're bothering me."

Shawn: No, like, on a date.

Cory: Well, Eric uses the shotgun approach. He just keeps dialing random numbers until he hears the word "yes."

Shawn: Sounds like a lot of work.

Cory: Yeah, and after all that, what have you got? A girl! What's the point?

I Dream of Feeny [1.22]

Shawn: Feeny's test tomorrow is gonna be such a killer.

Cory: Yeah, I don't understand why we have to learn anything about geography. Why do we have to learn where everything is? I'll just be like my dad and drive around 'til I find it.

Cory: [before a test] I am so nervous!

Shawn: You? My palms are sweating so much I can't even read the answers I wrote on them!