Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey is a 1991 American comedy science fiction film, the sequel to Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Like the first film, it stars Keanu Reeves as Ted "Theodore" Logan, Alex Winter as Bill S. Preston Esq. and George Carlin as Rufus. The film's original working title was Bill & Ted Go To Hell.
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- (First glimpse of Hell) This is not like I expected at all! We got totally lied to by our album covers.
- (Using his ghost powers on his father) I totally possessed my dad!
- (ogles a picture of a girl) I got a full-on robot chubby!
- Catch ya later, evil dude!
- (Describing their experience in Hell) That was non non non non heinous!
- (Evil Ted throws his head through a basketball hoop) Woah! Way to go, E.T.!
- (Answering the phone) Hello. Logan Residence. Evil Bill S. Preston Esq. speaking.
- You sunk my battleship!
- Don't overlook my butt, I work out all the time. And reaping burns a lot of calories.
- I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with a candlestick.
- Ted: Your probably noticed we haven't given you our gifts yet.
- Bill: That's because...
- Ted: Um...
- Bill: Um...
- Bill and Ted: 'scuse us dude.
- [Bill and Ted take their girlfriends to opposite sides of the pool]
- Bill: [Takes out a folded piece of paper from his pocket] I wrote this myself.
- Ted: [Also takes out a folded piece of paper from his pocket] I wrote this last night.
- Ted: [Begins to read] Elizabeth.
- Bill: [Also begins to read] Joanna.
- [The two talk simultaneously]
- Bill: As I wander through this dark and lonely forest of life, surrounded by various beasts... Bears, vipers, squirrels. Not to mention small tree growing lichen, woodpeckers, slugs, gila monsters. Oh no, that's the desert.
- Ted: As I swim through this dark and fearful sea of existence, surrounded by various creatures... Sharks, eels, yellowtail, and also barnacles, and algae, man-o-wars, starfish, blowfish, catfish. Uh oooh, that's fresh water.
- Bill: The point is, I know we promised you a better life.
- Ted: What mean is we told you the future had some really good stuff.
- Bill: But all that stuff hasn't happened.
- Bill and Ted: But it will, I hope.
- Ted: The day after tomorrow, if things work out...
- Bill: What I mean is....
- Bill and Ted: [Turn to each other and give a shrug. Then turn back to their girlfriends.]
- Ted: Will you...
- Bill: ...Marry us.
- Elizabeth: Theodore...
- Joanna: ...I'd love to.
- Bill and Ted: [Smile, take out a plastic pink and purple heart ring. Holds it up for the other see that they suceeded, and then places it on their respective girlfriend's finger. They then give a quick air guitar to the other, and receive a kiss on the cheek by their girlfriends.]
- Bill: Ladies and gentleman, we've been to the past, we've been to the future.
- Ted: We've been all around the afterlife.
- Bill: And you know?
- Ted: The best place to be is here...
- Bill:...and the best time to be is now. And all's we can say is...
- Together: ...let's rock!
- Ted: I can't believe "Missy" divorced your dad, and married mine.
- Joanna: Maybe she'll marry you.
- Elizabeth: And then you can be your own stepdad!
- Bill: Hey Ted. Don't fear the reaper.
- [air guitar]
- Grim Reaper: I heard that!
- Once... they made history. Now... they are history.
- Bill & Ted party on!
- It's a trip.
- Whoa dude! Pressed hams!