Bedtime Stories (film)

Bedtime Stories is a 2008 American family-fantasy-comedy film directed by Adam Shankman and starring Adam Sandler.

Skeeter Bronson

• [Reffering to Bugsy on his head] What the heck is on my head right now?
• [Skeeter sings to the staff] Barry had a Nottingham. Nottingham. Nottingham. Barry had a Nottingham whose beard was white as snow. [Skeeter stops singing] C'mon, give it up for the big man.
• Lucky my wallet only had three dollars, and my Derek Jeter baseball card!
• I'll have me win in the story, so I'll win for real. Do ya dig?
• [Barry Nottingham doesn't want to hug Skeeter because of germs] Let's get past that. OK. Oh, see? Look, your enjoying it. We're hugging, and nothing's happening.
• The Big Hotel Idea Story!
• Gotta babysit my niece and nephew tonight. Oh God. Got any advice for me?
• [talking on the phone from the next room] EMERGENCY! [enters the room] They don't have a TV.
• There are no happy endings in real life. The sooner you guys learn that, the better.
• [looking at Bugsy's (guinea pig) eyes] DAAAAAAAAAAH! Wow! Those would look big on a cow! Are those eyeballs or bowling balls? Need to keep my eyes off him, goodbye.

Jill Hastings

• It's not that big, sir. It can fit into one spot.
• Excuse me Mr. Nottingham. My name is Jill Hastings. I'm a teacher at Webster Elementary.
• That's my Prius.
• [to Skeeter after he finds out that the new hotel is replacing Webster Elementary School] Don't destroy the sliver of respect I still have for you by making lame excuses. Just go away and stay away.

Patrick Bronson

• [Skeeter mistakes him for Bobbi] I'm Patrick. She's Bobbi.
• Girls are bisgrusting, except for Trisha Sparks.
• [looks at the stars] Oh look. A pyramid.
• You have to read us a bedtime story.

Bobbi Bronson

• [is asked how hamburgers taste] Lifechanging.
• Patrick's never kissed a girl.
• [looking at Skeeter's gifts] Shampoo, and a soap?

Other

• Barry Nottingham Yes. Now, sign the bloody papers.
• Mickey [translating Skeeter's gibberish] Jumping up and down on the alligator.
• Barry Nottingham Germs!
• Mickey Oh, so positive visualisation. I read a book on that once...I read the back cover...I can't read. [Bugsy starts laughing] Shut up, Bugsy! I've got opposable thumbs. What do you think about that? [Bugsy stops laughing]

Dialogue

• Skeeter Am I really getting a cherry-red ferrari?
• Robber I don't see why not.
• Skeeter For freeeee?!
• Robber Sounds good to... meeeee?

---

• Violet Nottingham Skeeter? Skeeter Bronson?
• Skeeter Yes, ma'am.

---

• Skeeter Raining gumballs?
• Patrick Why not? It's a bedtime story: anything can happen.
• Skeeter Yeah, well I guess, in the story. I just wish it was like that in real life. I really do. [imaginary wind chimes sound]

---

• Bobbi You go into a magical cave.
• Skeeter Caves are nice.
• Bobbi And Abe Lincoln's there.
• Skeeter Abe Lincoln?! What, is this a joke to you?! What the heck's the matter with you?!

---

• Skeeter So you need me, this is good. I´ll do it. But you will have to say "Skeeter is the coolest, I´m a nerd".
• Wendy Skeeter is the coolest, I´m a nerd
• Skeeter Yeah, you are!

---

• Marty: And so Skeeter sat on his bed filled with regret, wondering how to put the pieces of his life back together after one magical week.
• Skeeter: [sarcastic] Great ending, huh?
• Marty: That was your ending?! I thought this was just a sad part before things got better!
• Skeeter: What do you mean?
• Marty: Well in the stories I told you, just when things looked bleakest, the hero would do something unexpected and courageous to beat the bad guy, save the day and get the girl!
• Skeeter: [inspired] Yeah! How do I do that?
• Marty: It's your story, not mine. But you better get moving; go get 'em, son!

Cast

• Adam Sandler as Skeeter Bronson
• Keri Russell as Jill
• Guy Pearce as Kendall
• Russell Brand as Mickey
• Richard Griffiths as Barry Nottingham
• Teresa Palmer as Violet Nottingham
• Lucy Lawless as Aspen
• Courteney Cox as Wendy Bronson
• Jonathan Morgan Heit as Patrick
• Laura Ann Kesling as Bobbi
• Jonathan Pryce as Marty Bronson
• Nick Swardson as Engineer
• Aisha Tyler as Donna Hynde
• Allen Covert as Ferarri Guy
• Blake Clark as Biker
• Kathryn Joosten as Mrs. Dixon
• Mikey Post as Angry Dwarf
• Rob Schneider as Indian Chief/The Robber (Uncredited)
• Arne Starr as Nottingham Employee/Senator/Cowboy/Spaceman (Uncredited)
• Thomas Hoffman as Young Skeeter
• Abigail Droeger as Young Wendy
• Jonathan Loughran as Party Guest
• Heather Morris as Cat Dancer