[Mike and Marcus pose as Klansmen during a drug drop; they expose their cover and point their guns at the launderers]
Mike Lowery and Marcus Burnett:[singing] Bad boys, bad boys/What ya gonna do?/What ya gonna do when we come for you? [Marcus ad-libs the first verse]
Mike Lowery: Dude, you gotta learn the words.
Burnett: We usually only do the chorus.
Marcus Burnett: [after Mike accidentally shots Marcus in the butt] who Motherfucker shot me in the ass, man.
Mike Lowery: Who shot you in the ass?
Burnett: Who? That "who" would be you.
Lowery: Me? I shot you?
Lowery: I mean, I was shootin'...yeah, I was...I did a lot of shootin'. I mean, I ain't saying that I shot you in the ass. I mean, I ain't saying I didn't shoot you... [looks] But damn! Somebody shot you in the ass!
Burnett: Tell me about it.
Marcus Burnett: [during a gunfight] Sir, we just want to talk!
Mike Lowery: You want to talk?! All right, go ahead, go ahead.
Burnett: We're not Immigration!
Lowery: [gunfire continues] They can't hear you 'cause they still shootin' at you!
Burnett: Fucking Haitians in a fucking little-ass room with fucking guns! Shit!
[Mike & Marcus take the dealers' surveillance video to nearest electronics store; and are embarrassed that their conversation in a private testing room is shown all over the store]
Mom in Phats Store: In front of my babies, you got porno and homo shows up in here?! What kinda freak-ass store is this?! [sees Lowery and Burnett] And you two motherfuckers need Jesus! [to children] Cover your ears, baby.
Mike Lowery:[pretending to be drunk] Marcus! Nigga, who that is at the door?
Marcus Burnett: It's Reggie!
Lowery: Who the fuck is Reggie?
Burnett: Came to take Megan out.
Lowery:[walks over to Reggie] What you want, nigga?
Reggie: I'm here to take his daughter out.
Lowery: What's your name?
Lowery: Man, I heard the motherfucker say your name Reggie. You wanna be takin' Megan out?
Reggie: Yes, sir.
Lowery: How old is you?
Lowery: Shit, nigga, you at least 30.
[Mike lifts a sheet covering a dead bimbo in the morgue, exposing her huge breasts]
Marcus Burnett: Mike, have some dignity!
Mike Lowery: What? I ain't doin' nothin'.
Burnett: Cover the titties.
Lowrey: What-what-what am I gonna do with these big-ass dead titties?
Burnett: But you're lookin' at them.
Lowery: There's...something's seriously wrong with your brain, man.
Burnett: Just cover up the titties.
Marcus Burnett:[upon witnessing two rats mating] Mike! There's a papa rat humping the shit out of this mama rat. No, he's straight pile-driving her!
Mike Lowrey: Now, how is that information gonna help me do my job?
Burnett: They fuck just like us!
[Johnny shoots his cousin/assistant Roberto in the forehead after Marcus and Mike investigate his mansion]
Johnny's Mother: Johnny! Johnny, what happened to Roberto?
Johnny: He killed himself, Mama. Se pegó un tiro!
Johnny's Mother: Ay!
Johnny: Very sad.
Johnny's Mother: Make sure and write a letter to his mother.
Johnny: I'll do it.
Johnny's Mother: Okay, bye.
[Mike walks into the room, wearing a new purple suit]
Marcus Burnett: Are you a cop or a model?
Mike Lowery: Hey, man, I like lookin' good, that's all.
Burnett: For who?
Lowery: Hey, man, don't hate the playa, hate the game.
Burnett: I hate the tailor.
[Burnett is miffed at how the State Department handles Syd's kidnapping]
Marcus Burnett: You know, by the time y'all finish being diplomatic, my sister could be in a fucking box. This is bullshit! [storms off; Mike follows him in another room.]
Mike Lowery: He ain't getting away from us that easy. ... We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life. [moves to Marcus and they embrace each other] We just gotta do it ourselves, man.
[DEA and SWAT operatives enter room]
DEA Agent Tony Dodd: Don't know you. You look like you're about to do something stupid. I'm in.
TNT Agent Fanuti: Dodd tell you how fucking crazy us ex-Delta guys are?
Det. Marco Vargas: Hey Marcus, my brother, Tito, lives in Cuba. He's a little crazy, but he's hooked up with the underground. Weapons, men, a safe house. Whatever we need.
Det. Yul Vazquez: [steps in] You can forget about passports baby and all that stuff, because if the Cubans catch us, we're all dead.
Mike Lowery: Rodney, I hear there's a boat on fire off the coast of Cuba.
Rodney: Don't you think we oughta break international waters to help them out?
Lowery: That's my dawg.
Marcus Burnett: Point of no return. [to DEA operatives and SWAT troopers] I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. [to Mike, offering hand-slap] Mike, good lu-
Lowery: Tell me when we get back.
Mike Lowery: Vargas, we're not gonna make it to the tunnel! Go to Plan B! We're going to Plan B!
Marcus Burnett: What Plan B?!
Lowery: [pause] Man, you don't pay attention to shit, do you?!
Syd: [as they start arguing in the middle of the gunfight] Are you fucking shitting me?! Let's go!
Detective Mateo Reyes: [in the escape tunnel] Plan B? What the hell is Plan B?
Marcus Burnett: [driving with Mike down a hill, through cocaine-processing shacks, in a stolen Hummer] Is this still Plan B?