Alice in Wonderland (2010 film)

For other uses of "Alice in Wonderland", see Alice in Wonderland (disambiguation).

Alice in Wonderland is a 2010 film loosely based on Lewis Carroll's book, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Alice KingsleighEdit

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to fly?
I think I... need a moment. [runs off to follow the White Rabbit]
Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
Curious-er and curious-er.
I won't slay anything. I don't slay, so put it out of your mind.
How's this for much-ness?
You could always paint the roses red.
[to Hatter] I'll miss you when I'll wake up.
6 impossible things. Count them, Alice!
- 1. There's a potion that can make you shrink.
  2. And a cake that can make you grow.
  3. Animals can talk.
  4. Cats can disappear.
  5. There's a place called Wonderland.
  6. You can slay the Jabberwocky.
[to the Jabberwocky] Off with your head! [Kills it]
[last lines; to a blue butterfly landing on her shoulder] Hello, Absolem.

Mad HatterEdit

[from trailer] There is a place, like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery and danger. Some says you survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter. Which luckily, I am.
You're terribly late, you know. Naughty!
[to Alice] It's absolutely Alice, I'd know you anywhere. [to the Dormouse and March Hare] I'd know her anywhere!
I'm investigating things that begin with the letter M.
(Repeated line) Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?
I shall futterwacken vigorously!
Fairfarren, Alice.
'Twas brillig/and the slithy toves/did gyre and gimble in the wabe/all mimsy were the borogoves/and the mome raths outgrabe.
[to Alice] You used to be much more... muchier. You've lost your muchness.
[to Alice] Why is it you're always too small or too tall?
[oratorical, with Scottish accent] The abused and enslaved in the Red Queen's court. All of you: Stand up and fight. Rise up against the bloody Red Queen.
[Scottish accent] Down with the bloody Red Queen!

March HareEdit

It's the wrong Alice!
[Exhaling] Ooh, meow.
Cup.
[hears Stayne coming] Oh, nu!
You're all late for tea! [throws teacup]
Want a slice of Battenberg?
It's tick, it's tick, it's ticking again! [takes watch out of teapot]
Whazza... Let's... Let's take her to the White Queen! She'll be safe there! ...Spoon...
Gae! You're late for your soup, you lazy bussum!

Cheshire "Chess" CatEdit

I really do love that hat. I would wear it to all the finest occasions. [purrs]

Red QueenEdit

SOMEONE HAS STOLEN 3 OF MY TARTS!
She killed my jabber-baby-wocky?!
I need a pig here!
I love my fat boys!
I love morning execution, don't you?
[repeated line] Off with his head!
[referring to Alice] Hello, Um!

DialogueEdit

[Alice and Mrs. Kingsleigh are on the way to her surprise engagement party at the Ascot's estate]

Mrs. Kingsleigh: Where is your corset? And no stockings!

Alice: I'm against them.

Mrs. Kingsleigh: But you are not properly dressed.

Alice: Who's to say what's proper? What if it were agreed that "proper" meant wearing a codfish on your head? Would you wear it?

Mrs. Kingsleigh: [Sternly] Alice.

Alice: To me a corset is like a codfish.

[Alice and Lady Ascot are taking a stroll through the garden]

Lady Ascot: Do you know what I've always dreaded?

Alice: [casually] The decline of the aristocracy?

Lady Ascot: Ugly grandchildren. But you're lovely. You're bound to produce little... Imbeciles!

[Notices that the gardeners have planted the wrong color roses] The gardeners have planted white roses when I specifically asked for red.

Alice: You could always paint the roses red.

Lady Ascot: What an odd thing to say.

Absolem: Who are you?

Alice: Absolem?

Absolem: [thinking that she's Absolem] You're not Absolem. I'm Absolem. The question is, who are you?

Alice: Alice.

Chess: It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws. [purrs]

Alice: But I'm still dreaming!

Chess: What did that to you?

Alice: Bander who... the bander--

Chess: The Bandersnatch! Well, I'd better have a look!

Alice: What are you doing?

Chess: It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills or it will fester and putrefy.

Alice: I'd rather you didn't. I'll be fine as soon as I wake up.

Chess: At least let me bind it for you. [wraps up her wounds] What do you call yourself?

Alice: Alice.

Chess: The Alice?

Alice: There's been some debate about that.

Chess: I never get involved in politics.

Chess: What's happened to you, Tarrant? You used to be the life of the party. You used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend.

Alice: Futter what?

March Hare: Futterwacken!

Dormouse: It's a dance.

[the March Hare does a jig.]

Hatter: On Frabjous Day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown, on that day, I shall Futterwacken... vigorously.

Stayne: [has his arm around Hatter's throat] If you're hiding her, you will lose your heads.

Hatter: [strained] Already lost them.

Stayne: You're all mad!

March Hare: Thanks very much. [Belches loudly]

Alice: [to Bayard] You were supposed to lead them away, Hatter trusted you!

Bayard: They have my wife and pups.

Alice: What is your name?

Bayard: Bayard.

Alice: Sit!

Bayard: [Sits] Would your name be... Alice, by any chance?

Alice: Yes, but I'm not the one everyone's talking about.

Bayard: Hatter would not have given himself up just for any Alice.

Alice: Where did they take him?

Bayard: To the Red Queen's castle in Salazen Grum.

Alice: We're going to rescue him.

Bayard: That is not foretold.

Alice: I don't care! He wouldn't be there if it weren't for me!

Bayard: Frabjous Day is almost upon us. You must prepare to meet the Jabberwocky!

Alice: From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole I've been told what I must do and who I must be. I've been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed into a teapot. I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice but this is my dream. I'll decide where it goes from here.

Bayard: If you diverge from the path...

Alice: I make the path!

Red Queen: [referring to Alice, who's just grown to a large size and naked after eating too much of the Upelkuchen that McTwisp gave her] And what is this?

White Rabbit: It's a who, majesty. This is... um...

Red Queen: "Um"?

Alice: [thinking quickly] From Umbridge.

Red Queen: What happened to your clothes?

Alice: I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately. I tower over everyone in Umbridge. They laugh at me. So, I've come to you hoping you might understand what it's like.

Red Queen: My dear girl, anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court. [to her subjects] Someone find her some clothes, use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl!

[Alice smiles]

Stayne: [sees Alice] And who is this lovely creature?

Red Queen: Um, my new favorite.

Stayne: What is her name?

Red Queen: Um.

Stayne: [to Alice] I believe your name has slipped the queen's mind.

Red Queen: Her name is Um, idiot!

Alice: From Umbridge.

[to Red Queen]

Hatter: What a regrettably large head you have. I should very much like to hat it.

Red Queen: Hat it?

Hatter: I used to hat The White Queen, you know. Poor dear, her head was so small.

Red Queen: It's tiny. It's a pimple of a head.

Hatter: Have I gone mad?

[Alice checks Hatter's temperature]

Alice: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

Chess: I've always admired that hat. Since you won't be needing it anymore, [appears on the hat] would you consider bequeathing it to me?

Hatter: How dare you! It is a formal execution. I would like to look my best, you know.

Chess: [hovering around Hatter] It is a pity about all this. I was looking forward to seeing you Futterwacken.

Hatter: I was rather good at it, was I not?

Chess: I really do love that hat. [Smiles slyly] I would wear it to all the finest occasions.

Alice: I couldn't kill the Jabberwocky if my life depended on it.

Absolem: It will.

Alice: This is impossible.

Hatter: Only if you believe it is.

White Queen: Hello, Iracebeth.

Red Queen: Hello, Mirana.

The Jabberwocky: So, my old foe, we meet on the battlefield once again.

Alice: We've never met.

The Jabberwocky: Not you, insignificant bearer. My ancient enemy, the Vorpal one.

Alice: That's enough chatter. [Cuts his tongue off]

[White Queen looks like she's about to throw up]

Hatter: You could stay...

Alice: What an idea. A crazy, mad, wonderful idea... But I can't. There are questions I have to answer, things I have to do. But I'll be back before you know it.

Hatter: You won't remember me.

Alice: Of course I will. How could I forget? Hatter, why is a raven like a writing desk?

Hatter: I haven't the slightest idea. Fairfarren, Alice.

[Returning to the party after coming back from Underland]

Alice: Sorry, Hamish. I can't marry you. You're not the right man for me. And there's that trouble with your digestion. [walks over to her sister] I love you, Margaret, but this is my life. I'll decide what to do with it. [turns to Lowell, meeting his sour look with a stern glare] You're lucky to have my sister for your wife, Lowell, and be good to her. I'll be watching very closely. [goes up to Aunt Imogene and takes her hands] There is no prince, Aunt Imogene. You need to talk to someone about these delusions. [walks past Lady Ascot, looking sternly at her] I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones. [goes up to her mother] Don't worry, Mother. I'll find something useful to do with my life. [turns to the Chattaway sisters] You two remind me of some funny boys I met in a dream.

Lord Ascot: You've left me out.

Alice: No, I haven't, sir. You and I have business to discuss.

Lord Ascot: Shall we speak in the study?

[Alice smiles and starts to head to the house, when suddenly she turns back to the crowd]

Alice: Oh. And one more thing. [lifts the hem of her dress to her knees and does the Futterwacken]