Alice in Wonderland (2010 film)
2010 film directed by Tim Burton
- For other uses of "Alice in Wonderland", see Alice in Wonderland (disambiguation).
Alice in Wonderland is a 2010 film loosely based on Lewis Carroll's book, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
DialogueEdit
- [Alice and Helen are on the way to her surprise engagement party at the Ascot's estate]
- Helen Kingsleigh: Where is your corset? And no stockings!
- Alice: I'm against them.
- Helen Kingsleigh: But you are not properly dressed.
- Alice: Who's to say what's proper? What if it were agreed that "proper" meant wearing a codfish on your head? Would you wear it?
- Helen Kingsleigh: [Sternly] Alice.
- Alice: To me a corset is like a codfish.
- [Alice and Lady Ascot are taking a stroll through the garden]
- Lady Ascot: Do you know what I've always dreaded?
- Alice: [casually] The decline of the aristocracy?
- Lady Ascot: Ugly grandchildren. But you're lovely. You're bound to produce little... Imbeciles!
- [Notices that the gardeners have planted the wrong color roses] The gardeners have planted white roses when I specifically asked for red.
- Alice: You could always paint the roses red.
- Lady Ascot: What an odd thing to say.
- Absolem: Who are you?
- Alice: Absolem?
- Absolem: [thinking that she's Absolem] You're not Absolem. I'm Absolem. The question is, who are you?
- Chessur: It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws. [purrs]
- Alice: But I'm still dreaming!
- Chessur: What did that to you?
- Alice: Bander who... the bander...
- Chessur: The Bandersnatch! Well, I'd better have a look!
- Alice: What are you doing?
- Chessur: It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills or it will fester and putrefy.
- Alice: I'd rather you didn't. I'll be fine as soon as I wake up.
- Chessur: At least let me bind it for you. [wraps up her wounds] What do you call yourself?
- Alice: Alice.
- Chessur: The Alice?
- Alice: There's been some debate about that.
- Chessur: I never get involved in politics.
- Chessur: What's happened to you, Tarrant? You used to be the life of the party. You used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend.
- Alice: Futter what?
- Thackery: Futterwacken!
- Mally: It's a dance.
- [Thackery starts dancing a jig.]
- Hatter: On the Frabjous Day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown, on that day, I shall Futterwacken... vigourously.
- Stayne: [has his arm around Hatter's throat] If you're hiding her, you will lose your heads.
- Hatter: [strained] Already lost them.
- Stayne: You're all mad!
- March Hare: Thanks very much. [Belches loudly]
- Alice: [to Bayard] You were supposed to lead them away, the Hatter trusted you!
- Bayard: They have my wife and pups.
- Alice: What is your name?
- Bayard: Bayard.
- Alice: Sit!
- Bayard: [Sits] Would your name be... Alice? By any chance?
- Alice: Yes, but I'm not the one everyone's talking about.
- Bayard: The Hatter would not have given himself up just for any Alice.
- Alice: Where did they take him?
- Bayard: To the Red Queen's castle in Salazen Grum.
- Alice: We're going to rescue him.
- Bayard: That is not foretold.
- Alice: I don't care! He wouldn't be there if it weren't for me!
- Bayard: The Frabjous Day is almost upon us. You must prepare to meet the Jabberwocky!
- Alice: From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole I've been told what I must do and who I must be. I've been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed into a teapot. I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice but this is my dream. I'll decide where it goes from here.
- Bayard: If you diverge from the path...
- Alice: I make the path!
- The Red Queen: [referring to Alice, who's just grown to a large size and naked] And what is this?
- White Rabbit: It's a who, majesty. This is... um...
- The Red Queen: "Um"?
- Alice Kingsleigh: [thinking quickly] From Umbridge.
- The Red Queen: What happened to your clothes?
- Alice Kingsleigh: I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately. I tower over everyone in Umbridge. They laugh at me. So, I've come to you hoping you might understand what it's like.
- The Red Queen: My dear girl, anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court. [to her subjects] Someone find her some clothes, use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl!
- [Alice smiles.].
- Stayne: [sees Alice] And who is this lovely creature?
- Red Queen: Um, my new favorite.
- Stayne: What is her name?
- Red Queen: Um.
- Stayne: [to Alice] I believe your name has slipped the queen's mind.
- Red Queen: Her name is Um, idiot!
- Alice: From Umbridge.
- [to the Red Queen]
- Hatter: What a regrettably large head you have. I should very much like to hat it.
- Red Queen: Hat it?
- Hatter: I used to hat The White Queen, you know. Poor dear, her head was so small.
- Red Queen: It's tiny. It's a pimple of a head.
- Hatter: Have I gone mad?
- [Alice checks Hatter's temperature]
- Alice: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
- [Hatter is in a cell; Bayard, his wife and the pups are on the other side; they all look up to see Chess appear]
- Chessur: I've always admired that hat. I was wondering...since you won't be needing it anymore...perhaps you would consider bequeathing it to me?
- Hatter: How dare you??!?!? I'll have you know it is a formal execution and I would like to look my best, you know.
- Chessur: It's a shame about all this. I was looking forward to seeing you Futterwacken.
- Hatter: I was rather good at it, was I not?
- Chessur: I really do love that hat. [Smiles slyly] I would wear it to all the finest occasions.
- Alice: I couldn't kill the Jabberwocky if my life depended on it.
- Absolem: It will.
- Alice: This is impossible.
- Hatter: Only if you believe it is.
- Jabberwocky: So, my old foe, we meet on the battlefield once again.
- Alice Kingsleigh: We've never met.
- Jabberwocky: Not you, insignificant bearer. My ancient enemy, the Vorpal one.
- Alice Kingsleigh: That's enough chatter. [Cuts his tongue off]
- [The White Queen looks like she's about to throw up]
- Hatter: You could stay...
- Alice: What an idea. A crazy, mad, wonderful idea... But I can't. There are questions I have to answer, things I have to do. But I'll be back before you know it.
- Hatter: You won't remember me.
- Alice: Of course I will. How could I forget? ...Hatter, why is a raven like a writing desk?
- Hatter: I haven't the slightest idea. ...Fairfarren, Alice.
- Alice Kingsleigh: I'm sorry, Hamish. I can't marry you. You're not the right man for me. And there's that trouble with your digestion. [walks over to her sister] I love you, Margaret, but this is my life. I'll decide what to do with it. [turns to Lowell, meeting his sour look with a stern glare] You're lucky to have my sister for your wife, Lowell, and be good to her. I'll be watching very closely. [goes up to Aunt Imogene and takes her hands] There is no prince, Aunt Imogene. You need to talk to someone about these delusions. [walks past Lady Ascot, looking sternly at her] I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones. [goes up to her mother] Don't worry, Mother. I'll find something useful to do with my life. [turns to the Chattaway sisters] You two remind me of some funny boys I met in a dream.
- Lord Ascot: You've left me out.
- Alice Kingsleigh: No, I haven't, sir. You and I have business to discuss.
- Lord Ascot: Shall we speak in the study?
- [Alice smiles and starts to head to the house, when suddenly she turns back to the crowd]
- Alice Kingsleigh: Oh. And one more thing. [lifts the hem of her dress to her knees and does the Futterwacken]
