ALF (1986-90) was an American science fiction sitcom that aired on NBC. The title character is Gordon Shumway, a friendly extraterrestrial nicknamed ALF (an acronym for Alien Life Form), who crash lands in the garage of the suburban middle-class Tanner family.
(At the end of the hearing, ALF reveals his own gavel.)
- ALF: This hearing is impaired.
- Colonel: Project ALF is about to be terminated. Not just the project, but the ALF.
- Rick Mullican: We're on our way to Mardi Gras, thus the costumes.
- Bouncer: What Mardi Gras?
- ALF: What costumes?
- Rick Mullican: The ones we're wearing.
- ALF: (looks at himself again) What costumes?
- Motel manager: You're not from around here, are you?
- ALF: Minnesota.
- Motel manager: Somehow I thought it'd be farther than that.
- ALF: Uh, Michigan.
- Motel manager: Ah, yeah, the wolverine state.
- Melissa Hill: ALF, hide in the bathroom.
- ALF: It's been a long time since those words were uttered.
- Rick Mullican: ALF, you have a choice. Your money or your life.
- Melissa Hill: Well, ALF?
- ALF: I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
- ALF: (ALF is strapped into an electric chair) I take it this isn't the word association test.
- Dr. Warner: No, no. We're going to conduct a different test.
- ALF: I'm not sure I like the word 'conduct'.
- Dr. Warner: (after ALF looks at a High Voltage sign) Oh, pay no attention to that sign, it shouldn't even be there. I'll remove it if it bothers you.
- ALF: It bothers me.
(Warner gets electrocuted when trying to remove the sign and falls over)
- ALF: (as Warner begins to sizzle on the floor) Medic. Medic.
(some time after Dr. Warner was electrocuted)
- Dr. Newman: Hello, ALF, I'm Dr. Newman.
- ALF: No need to ask who you're replacing.
- Dr. Newman: We're going to try a little game called numeric sequencing.
- ALF: Does involve electric shock?
- Dr. Newman: Absolutely not.
- ALF: Forgive me if I'm still paranoid, there's still a silhouette burned into the linoleum.
(the military is playing a video of one of the tests done on ALF)
- ALF: This one is definitely the Pepsi.
(Mullican and Hill have kidnapped ALF and put him in a mail bag)
- Dr. Mullican: Don't look now, the mail's awake.
- ALF: What's going on? Oh, wait, now I remember, I'm being kidnapped by humans. There's a switch.
- Military Researcher: Good morning. I'm Dr. Carnage.
- ALF: Yikes.
- Military Researcher: Yikes yourself.
- Dr. Mockton: Hello, I'm Mockton. I'm going to show you some inkblots.
- ALF: Does this involve electric shock?
- Dr. Mockton: Let's not start that again.
- Dr. Stanley: Let's try some word association. I'll say a word and you say whatever pops into your mind.
- ALF: Food.
- Dr. Stanley: I haven't said anything yet.
- ALF: Nothing interesting, at least.
- Dr. Stanley: Sit.
- ALF: I am sitting.
- Dr. Stanley: No, that's the first word: sit.
- ALF: Oh, um... food.
- Dr. Stanley: Sunrise.
- ALF: Breakfast.
- Dr. Stanley: Square.
- ALF: Meal.
- Dr. Stanley: Left.
- ALF: Overs.
- Dr. Stanley: Should we stop and get you something to eat.
- ALF: I could use a little snack.
- ALF: I'm a bit curious about the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy here in the military.
- Dr. Carnage: What about it?
- ALF: Well it assume it's worked to you advantage.
- Dr. Carnage: (to the camera) Stop the tape.
(after watching footage of ALF in a crash test)
- Maj. Melissa Hill: That crash test is the perfect example of the cruel and inhumane punishment Alf has been subjected to, Mr. Chairmen.
- Col. Gilbert Milfoil: He had an airbag, it just didn't work.
- ALF: (Rick is angrily venting his contempt for Dexter Moyers) Rick, I've never seen you like this.
- Dr. Mullican: Nah, I just don't like the guy, is all.
- ALF: No, I mean from this angle... and I thought I had a lot of nose hair.