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50 First Dates

2004 film by Peter Segal

50 First Dates is a 2004 comedy film starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore about a man afraid of commitment, until he meets the girl of his dreams. But then he discovers she has short-term memory loss and forgets him every day.

Directed by Peter Segal and written by George Wing.
Imagine having to win over the girl of your dreams... every friggin' day.

Henry Roth

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  • Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today?
  • I have no life.
  • Sorry I'm not better lookin’.
  • [using Willy to try and get Lucy's attention on the side of the road]
[to Willy, who's wearing a Hawaiian t-shirt] Ok, pal. When she stops, just let her pet you. Look cute. Go to the middle of the road. Right there. Perfect. [Lucy: [bends down to pick something up and drives right over Willy] Oh, shit.]
Here she comes. Smile. Where is she? Oh, my god! Oh no! Ok, that didn't work. Shit your pants? So did I.
  • Hey, Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool! And if that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that.

Lucy Whitmore

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  • Can I have one last first kiss?
  • [repeated line] There's nothing like a first kiss..

Ula

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  • [to his children] You kids suck; you're good at everything!
  • My shirt size is medium husky.
  • Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts.
  • [after Henry woke up dazed and confused] Your golf ball hit the cart, bounced back and hit ya in the head. It was freakin' hilarious.
  • [Pretending to be Lucy for the video] Aquariums make me super horny.
  • Get your brother out of the dishwasher!
  • [falls through the deck of Henry's boat up to his chest] I think I pulled out my stitches again, Cuz. [pause] You got a cat? 'Cause I feel somethin' lickin' me.

Ten-Second Tom

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  • [repeated line] Hi, I'm Tom!
  • [at the Callahan Institute, to Doug] Don't you think you're a little old to still be having wet dreams? (laughter) Hi, I'm Tom!

Old Hawaiian Man

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  • Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out.
  • [About Henry's drawing on a napkin] Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with.

Others

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  • Alexa: [After an aborted one-night stand with a woman] I guess I prefer sausage to taco.

Dialogue

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Security Guard 1: Hey Lucy, good to see you again!
[Lucy walks by quietly]
Security Guard 1: What the hell is her problem?
Security Guard 2: She doesn't remember who you are, brah.
Security Guard 1: Oh, yeah. I suck at this job!
[After Lucy beat up Ula with a bat]
Ula: Oh, you crazy bitch!
Lucy: Yeah, KEEP RUNNING!
Henry: [to Lucy] It's gonna be ok, Luce.
Lucy: [to Henry] Don't call me Luce. I barely know you.
Marlin: Sweetie, you're sorta dating him.
[Lucy looks at Henry]
Henry: Yeah. Sorry I'm not better lookin’.
Doug: Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip. [gives Henry a box]
Henry: That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right.
Doug: I love Thpam and Ree-thith, can I have it?
Henry: Um, I guess.
Marlin: Doug!
Keanu Mokokokakoa: What's wrong with that turtle?
Henry: He has lung problems because he smoked too much turtle weed, which is bad for you. Right, Ula?
Ula: Wha? I don't smoke weed!
Keanu Mokokokakoa: Hey, Dad.
Ula: Not now, Keanu Mokokokakoa.
Keanu Mokokokakoa: But your stitches are bleeding.
[While playing golf, Ula has ripped the stitches over a shark bite on his waist]
Ula: It musta been my huge back swing. [demonstrates a back swing with his club] Honah Lee, you think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing?
Henry: Yeah, I'm lookin’ forward to it.
Caddy: I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something.
Ula: What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful.
Caddy: Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway?
Ula: A shark bit me.
Caddy: Nice! Go smoke another one, bro!
Old Hawaiian Man: That was pathetic.
Henry: Yeah? Why don't you choke on your Spam!
Nick: What did Sue say?
Henry: She said that if I talk to Lucy you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.
[Lucy beats Henry up after not recognizing waking up next to him in bed]
Doug: [hands Henry an ice pack for his head]
I may not be able to kick your ath, but my thither thore can.
Dr. Keats: Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay. She's watching the tape as we speak.
Henry: Good. How's my temporal lobe lookin' there, Doc?
Dr. Keats: Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer any short term memory loss. But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit ya?
Doug: Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that!
Dr. Keats: Note the intense overreaction. That's the 'roids talking. Douglas, once again, off the juice.
Doug: It'th not juithe! It'th a protein thake!
[Henry sticks a tooth pick in Lucy's waffle house]
Henry: Here, you should try this out. Put this here. Swivelly door. Waffleonians can come in and out now.
Lucy: Oh, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers all over someone else's food?
Henry: Uh, no, I'm from this country. [pause] Were you gonna eat that?
[Henry is stopped on the side of the road. Lucy is driving by and stops to see what's going on]
Henry: Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet.
Lucy: Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Henry: Okay.
Lucy: Okay.
[Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car, upsetting Lucy]
Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that!
Lucy: Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...
Henry: Oh...I'm so sorry...I was just joking around.
Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT! HA HA!
Update Video: Red Sox win World Series!... Just kidding.
Update Video: Schwarzenegger elected governor!... Not kidding.
Dr. Keats: Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds.
Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible.
Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.
Ten Second Tom: Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain... Hi. I'm Tom.
Henry: [begging Marlin to let Henry see Lucy and apologize after she ate at the diner] I don't want it to end like this.
Doug: Yeah, well, it's gonna end like thith!
[Doug runs to beat up Henry but then Henry holds him down]
Henry: Calm down, little fella!
Doug: Okay, I'm calm!
[pause]
Doug: I coulda whooped his ath, Daddy, but this gravel - I thlipped on it and fell.
Marlin: Then maybe you need to do a little bit more butt flexes.
Doug: Cheap shot, Dad.
Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa.
Linda: Linda.
Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection.
Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups!
Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-in-One-Punch!
[Henry is pretending to cry to get Lucy's attention]
Lucy: Wonder what's the matter with him.
Old Hawaiian Man: Looks like a stupid asshole to me.
Keanu Mokokokakoa: Daddy, what's a nympho?
Ula: Uh, the nympho is the state bird of Ohio.
Kids: Ohhh.
Henry: [to Ula] You're the state idiot of Hawaii.
[Henry has just said "I Do" in his commitment to Lucy on the tape.]
Ula: Really? Even though in like 10, 15 years, she could possibly let herself go and then sex would be like, nauseating for you.
Henry: What are you, nuts? Your wife's right over there.
[Ula faces his insulted, obese wife, who flips him off in retaliation.]
Ula: I'm just kidding, Muumuu.
Patient #1: [sitting in a wheelchair; about Henry] Do you know who that guy is?
Patient #2: Dude, I don't even know who I am!'
Patient #1: Why, you're Pablo Picasso!
Patient #2: Really?
Patient #1: [shakes his head and rolls away] No, not really.
[Patient #2 gives a disapproving look as if to say "thanks a lot"].

Cast

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