American comedy series
Young Sheldon (2017–2024) is an American television sitcom that aired on CBS. It stars Iain Armitage as Sheldon Cooper, who lived in Medford, Texas with The Coopers. It is a prequel to The Big Bang Theory.
Opening theme edit
- Nobody else is stronger than I am
Yesterday I moved a mountain
I bet I could be your hero
I am a Mighty Little Man
- Steve Burns, Mighty Little Man.
Season 1 edit
Pilot [1.01] edit
- [First lines of the series]
- Adult Sheldon: "I've always loved trains. In fact, if my career in theoretical physics hadn't worked out, my backup plan was to become a professional ticket taker. Or hobo. And when I figured out that trains allowed me to prove Newton's first law... An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force... I felt like Neil Armstrong on the moon, alone and happy."
- Mary Cooper: Shelly, dinner's ready!
- Adult Sheldon: "I don't care how dimwitted you are. Scientific principles have to make you smile. Of course, nobody I knew in East Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig."
- Missy Cooper: Sheldon, if you don't get in here, I'm gonna lick your toothbrush.
- Sheldon Cooper: Coming!
- Adult Sheldon: "That's my sister. And she's done it before."
- George Cooper Sr.: Hey, what the hell are you doing out there?
- Mary Cooper: George, language.
- George Cooper Sr.: What language? So?
- Sheldon Cooper: I was exploring dimensional kinematics.
- Georgie Cooper: Admit it, he's adopted.
- Sheldon Cooper: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.
- Mary Cooper: That's enough. No one's adopted.
- Missy Cooper: I wish I was.
- Mary Cooper: That can still be arranged.
- Missy Cooper: [in church, listening to a sermon about 'evil thoughts'] I'm having an evil thought right now.
- Sheldon Cooper: What?
- Missy Cooper: "I'm going to kick you in the balls when we get home."
Rockets, Communists, and the Dewey Decimal System [1.02] edit
- George Cooper Sr.: (Sheldon's new friend is having dinner with the Coopers) So, uh, Tam... what kind of name is that?
- Tam: Vietnamese, sir.
- George Cooper Sr.: Sure. I spent a little time over there. Army. Your Mom's name isn't Kim Lee, is it?
- Tam: No, sir.
- George Cooper Sr.: [seeming relieved] Good, good. I mean, yeah. It's a small country. So... Mary, how's that food comin'?
- Mary: [from the kitchen] Almost.
- Georgie Cooper: So, Viet Nam. Like in Rambo.
- Tam: Yes.
- Georgie Cooper: That's a cool movie.
- Tam: Yes.
- Georgie Cooper: Are you in it?
- Tam: No.
- Mary Cooper: All right, Tam. I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner: bar-b-que chicken and brisket.
- Tam: Thank you.
- Mary Cooper: Well, I figured you were probably tired of stuff wigglin' around on your plate. OK, let's say Grace. Now, Tam, when I say 'Jesus', feel free to say the word 'Buddha' in your head.
- Tam: I'm actually Catholic.
- Mary Cooper: Oh. Well, that's too bad.
Poker, Faith, and Eggs [1.03] edit
- Sheldon: You lied to your moon pie.
- Meemaw: I bluffing my moon pie.
- Sheldon: Do people know about this?
- Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person face is not always what's in their heart.
- Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
- Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.
- Sheldon: What's she say?
- Meemaw: The doctors are doing some tests, but dollar to donuts, your daddy's just got a bad case od gas. Y'all two go get ready for bed.
- George Jr: I don't want to stay around her. I want to go to the hospital and see dad.
- Meemaw: Well, i want to go to Las Vegas and see Willie Nelson, but that ain't gonna happen either.
- George Jr: This is stupid.
- Meemaw: You know what stupid? I got to drink pink wine
- Sheldon: Meemaw
- Meemaw: What?
- Sheldon: Is dad really okay?
- Meemaw: Yes
- Sheldon: I hope you're not bluffing.
- George Jr: I'm driving to the hospital. You can come with me or stay here, up to you.
- Missy: I'm coming.
- George Jr: Sheldon?
- Sheldon: You're 14. You don't know how to drive.
- George Jr: I drove a tractor at 4-H camp. It's the same thing.
- Sheldon: But you sat on the farmer's lap.
- George Jr: Then stay here. Come on, Missy.
- Sheldon: (He suddenly hear Meemaw snore, and turning. Afraid he's gonna be blame for the runaway, Sheldon decides to join George and Missy).
- Mary: What took you so long to answer?
- Meemaw: Powdering my nose. What's it to ya?
- Mary: Sorry I asked. Just want to give you an update.
- Meemaw: Y...what's going on?
- Mary: They wanna to run some test. They're gonna hold him overnight.
- Meemaw: Oh, well. That's, that's nothing to worry about. That's just precautionary.
- Mary: How are the kids?
- Meemaw: Oh... they were a little worried. But I handled it.
- Mary: They're sleeping?
- Meemaw: Um, yeah yeah. You bet.
- Mary: Thank's again for helping.
- Meemaw: Oh hey, these are my grandchildren. They are my blood.
- Mary: Okay, I'd better go.
- Meemaw: Okay, we'll talk later.
- Meemaw: (Hang the phone before she realize about the letter in the table. As she open it, it's shown that Sheldon is telling him about their runaway).
- Meemaw: Son of a bitch. I hate those kids.
- George Jr: Dang it.
- Missy: Are you aiming for them?
- George Jr: Everybody just shut up. I got this.
- [The three of them then realize about a siren wailing behind their car.]
- Sheldon: Oh, no. We're going to jail.
- Missy: Georgie's going to jail. I'm saying I was kidnapped
- Sheldon: That's a good plan. You and I were kidnapped.
- George Jr: If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail.
- Sheldon: Oh, you'd better pull over.
- [As George pull over, it revealed that the siren was coming from a ambulance.]
- George Jr: Oh, thank god.
- Sheldon: Well, don't just sit there. Follow it.
- George Jr: Why?
- Sheldon: It's an ambulance. It's going to the hospital.
- George: Hang on.
- Missy: How about i put the radio on real low.
- George Jr: Shut up.
- [The end credits scroll up. The logo reads: Chuck Lorre Productions, #570]
- Emoji: Believe me.
- [Last lines]
A Therapist, a Comic Book and a Breakfast Sausage [1.04] edit
- Adult Sheldon: Fun fact: The first time I almost died was at the age of nine. The murder weapon: A Jimmy Dean sausage.
- [In the flashback, Sheldon chokes and clutches his throat, his blue eyes wide with distress]
- Missy: Mom, Sheldon's making faces at me.
- [Mary sees Sheldon clutching his throat and struggling to breathe]
- Mary: Sheldon?! Honey!
- Adult Sheldon: In fairness to Mr. Dean, this one morning I decided to forego my normal twenty chews per bite, as prescribed by the American Medical Association.
- Mary: George, help!
- George: [bending Sheldon over his knee] Come here, boy. We got it. We just got to smack it out. [He smacks Sheldon on the back]
- Adult Sheldon: To further complicate matters, in any real life crisis, my family's default mode is mindless panic.
- Missy: [from the comfort of the breakfast table] Sheldon's gonna die! Sheldon's gonna die!
- Adult Sheldon: Or heartless apathy.
- [Georgie bites into a slice of toast and watches. George picks Sheldon up by his legs and shakes him]
- George: Here we go. This is how you do it. Here we go. And shake.
- Adult Sheldon: It's interesting, the things you think about when life is ebbing from your body. For instance, linoleum. What is it, really? Plastic? And if so, how is it from Formica?
- Mary: I'm calling 911.
- [While being shaken, Sheldon's gaze turns to the cereal box on the table]
- Adult Sheldon: And what about Count Chocula? How is he a count? Did the title come with land?
- Mary: George, Heimlich! [George puts the boy on his feet and does a heimlich maneuver] Don't hurt his little ribs!
- Adult Sheldon: They say in the final moments, your life passes before your eyes. All I saw was my brother licking jelly off the knife, and putting it back in the jar.
- [Sheldon's windpipe is freed from obstruction]
- Mary: Okay, it's better now. Sheldon! Honey, are you okay? Can you breathe? Say something!
- Sheldon: You have to... throw away... that jelly!
A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom [1.05] edit
- Mary: Booyah!
- Sheldon: The math says they should never punt again.
- Meemaw: Who's his really daddy?
- Sheldon: The cheerleader hugged me to her bosom.
- Tam Nguyen: That's amazing!
- Sheldon: No more high fives. I can't keep washing my hands.
- Sheldon: [screaming, while the boys at the party are holding him up in the air, mosh style] PUT ME DOWN! I SAID, "PUT ME DOWN"! PUT ME DOWN, I'M NOT ENJOYING IT!
A Patch, a Modem, and a Zantac [1.06] edit
- Tam: You know, sometimes you sound like a super villain.
- Sheldon: [excitedly high-pitched] Silence!
- Tam: That'll be more effective after your voice changes.
- Sheldon: [Tam steps away. Sheldon sighs]
- [deep voice]
- Sheldon: Silence!
- Missy: I can't die. I've only kissed one boy.
- Mary: What?
- Missy: Don't worry, it was years ago.
- Missy: I'm bored.
- Meemaw: Hey! Someday, someone will write a book about Sheldon. Don't you want a chapter in there about how loving and supportive you were?
- Georgie: What's the point? I ain't never gonna read it.
- Sheldon: Dad, can we afford a computer?
- George Sr.: You do my taxes. What do you think?
- Sheldon: [pause] Nevermind.
A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run [1.07] edit
- George Sr.: Here we go. Fifteen years and fourteen hours later, the best brisket in Texas.
- [tastes some]
- George Sr.: Connie, you evil bitch!
- Sheldon: Back home, he applied the spice rub with such erotic tenderness it made my mother a little jealous.
- Adult Sheldon: "That was the best trip I'd ever been on. I just wish I'd told my father that while he was alive."
Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia [1.09] edit
- Georgie: Wait. I see Elle Macpherson in a bikini. Ooh, it just fell off.
- Sheldon: I see Quadrant 1 is red, Quadrant 2 is soft and plush, [sniffs] Quadrant 3 smells like lavender, and Quadrant 4 is overlaid with a Fibonacci spiral.
- Mary: That's a dumb idea. We don't want Georgie to be like Georgie.
An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo [1.10] edit
- Principal Petersen: First of all, I want to thank you both for coming.
- Mary: Yeah, yeah, what'd he do?
- Principal Petersen: Uh, he didn't do anything.
- George Sr.: Gosh, Tom, I want to believe you.
- Principal Petersen: Okay, the problem is the curriculum here is not challenging enough for Sheldon. Now, he gets bored and maybe doesn't express himself in the most productive way.
- Sheldon: [seeing how well-behaved and studious the Wilmont students are] What's wrong with them?
- Mary: What are you talking about?
- Sheldon: They're so quiet. Are they on medication?
- Mary: No. They're just smart like you.
- Sheldon: I've been going to school in a zoo.
- George Sr.: [quietly to Mary] Not too sure about these uniforms. Kinda froufrou.
- Dr. Flora Douglas: I must tell you, in all I've been here, I have never seen such glowing letters of recommendation from a student's teachers.
- George Sr.: Well, that's real nice to hear.
- Dr. Flora Douglas: Now, listen to this: "Putting aside his superior intellect, Sheldon is a delight to have in the class. He's fun-loving, easy to get along with, and always ready to help another student."
- Sheldon: That doesn't sound like me at all.
- Mary: Sure it does, sweetie.
Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers [1.11] edit
- Sheldon: You're catholic, right? Explain it to me.
A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer [1.12] edit
- Sheldon: We really need to get one of these.
A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek [1.13] edit
- Mary: No. What on earth?
- Sheldon: Hello.
- Mary: What are you doing?
- Sheldon: I made a real germ-proof hedge of protection.
- Mary: Oh, honey, you can't stay in there.
- Sheldon: I've got a refrigerator, I've got my sleeping bag, and anything else I need I can make out of Legos.
- Mary: What's with the Halloween costume?
- Sheldon: In case of a breach.
- Mary: Stay right there.
- Sheldon: That's my plan.
Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey [1.14] edit
- Mary: Here is the cherry on top!
Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman [1.15] edit
- Sheldon: She knows who I am. It's going well.
Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine [1.16] edit
- Sheldon: I decided to become an actor!
- Missy: Methalone act normal.
Jiu-Jitsu, Bubble Wrap, and Yoo-hoo [1.17] edit
- Luis: Cooper. Your stop.
- Sheldon: Would you mind dropping me off closer to my house?
- Luis: Sorry, kiddo.
A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside [1.18] edit
- Mary: You need to come home with me.
- Sheldon: No. I'm working.
- Mary: There is a tornado watch. Let's go!
- Meemaw: Oh, come on, Mary. We've had a watch every day for 2 months, nothing ever happens.
- Sheldon: I think you're just worried I'm earning the money to send in my college application.
- Mary: I am worried it is not safe out here. Let's go!
- Sheldon: I can worry about my own safety, thank you.
- Mary: I don't care if you think you're an adult. I'm your mother, and you will do as I say.
- [A tornado warning siren sound effect is heard]
- Meemaw: Well, that ain't good.
- Mary: You believe me now? Mom?
- Adult Sheldon: The good news was most of our neighborhood was spared. The bad news: my mother thought she had something to do with it.
- Meemaw: Be careful.
Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple [1.19] edit
- Sheldon: There is someone. And it's me.
- Sheldon: If they get married, we have doubled the number of smart people in our family.
A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish [1.20] edit
- Sheldon: MOM!!!
- Mary: Your dog left a dead squirrel in our living room!
Summer Sausage, a Pocket Poncho, and Tony Danza [1.21] edit
- Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis, welcome.
- Dr. John Sturgis: Thank you, Sheldon.
- Sheldon: I do believe there was subtext there. Did you pick up on it?
- Meemaw: Yeah.
Vanilla Ice Cream, Gentleman Callers, and a Dinette Set [1.22] edit
- Sheldon: Oh, Meemaw, no.
- Mary: Hey, who are you calling?
- Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis.
- Mary: Why?
- Sheldon: I saw Meemaw get in the car with Mr. Rosenbloom.
- Mary: (distorted voice) No...
- Adult Sheldon: I don't know if it really happened this way, but to my 9-year-old mind, my mother was flying.
Season 2 edit
A High-Pitched Buzz and Training Wheels [2.01] edit
- Adult Sheldon: I also had extraordinary hearing. During dinner, I could tune out the cacophony of chewing, slurping, chewing, cutlery scraping against plates, chewing, and my father's heavy breathing as he wrestled with a ketchup bottle. But tonight, there was one sound I couldn't tune out.
A Rival Prodigy and Sir Isaac Neutron [2.02] edit
- Meemaw: The magic continues.
- Sheldon: She's a person. And we all know how I feel about people.
A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens [2.03] edit
- Meemaw: He's grabbing at straws now.
- Sheldon: So, if god's plan is to save all of the universe, that means a race of octopus aliens light-years away could only be saved by Jesus?
A Financial Secret and Fish Sauce [2.04] edit
- George Cooper Sr: What do you say we keep this quiet?
- Sheldon: Like a secret.
- George Cooper Sr: All you gotta do is be cool!
A Research Study and Czechoslovakian Wedding Pastries [2.05] edit
- Sheldon: Did you kill it?
- Missy: You tell me.
Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan [2.06] edit
- Kids: Trick-or-treat!
- Sheldon: I'm Carl Sagan.
Carbon Dating and a Stuffed Raccoon [2.07] edit
- Paige: Sheldon.
- Paige: You happy to see me?
- Sheldon: Not immediately.
- Paige: Let's get out of here.
- Sheldon: Where are you going? It's closed.
- Police Officer: What are you kids doing in there?!
An 8-Bit Princess and a Flat Tire Genius [2.08] edit
- Sheldon: So now what? We just return to our ordinary lives?
- Meemaw: I guess so. Or... we could just go to the store and buy another game.
- Adult Sheldon: Since that night, I've battled orcs, zombies, Nazis, Nazi-zombies, a dinosaur in a go-kart, and played Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" on a stringless, plastic guitar. But nothing would ever compare to that first quest with my Meemaw. Although Leonard pulling a groin muscle doing Dance Dance Revolution was a close second.
Family Dynamics and a Red Fiero [2.09] edit
- George Cooper Sr: I may have a better job.
- Mary: In Oklahoma?
- Sheldon: Family conflict has been observed.
- Missy: What are you doing?
- Sheldon: Are you going to talk the whole time?!
- Missy: It seems to be annoying you, so? Yeah.
A Stunted Childhood and a Can of Fancy Mixed Nuts [2.10] edit
- Missy: He's an old man.
- Sheldon: I'm not an old man.
- Sheldon: Oh, dear.
- Sheldon: Don't even get me started.
- Sheldon: Eat outdoors. Do I look hippie to you?
- Sheldon: Bazinga!
A Race of Superhumans and a Letter to Alf [2.11] edit
- Mary Cooper: Care to explain yourself?
- Sheldon Cooper: I was trying to motivate Missy to expand her intellectual horizons.
- Mary Cooper: By torturing her Cabbage Patch doll?
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, it's not like I shocked her with electrodes, which was an option.
- Mary Cooper: Enough.
- Sheldon Cooper: To be clear, I meant to shock Missy, not the doll. That would be an effect--
- Mary Cooper: ENOUGH! And you! Getting baptized just to kiss a girl?! What were you thinking?!
- Georgie Cooper: Sounds like you know what I was thinking.
- Mary Cooper: Well, you are both grounded!
- Missy Cooper: "Dear Alf, I'm your number one fan. I like you because you're an alien but you're funny, unlike my brother who's an alien but just a jerk. Anyway, I hope you're enjoying your time here on our planet and have found things to eat other than cats. I recommend chicken nuggets. Sincerely, Missy Cooper, age 10."
- ALF: "P.S. My favorite color is pink. What's yours?" Ha. What a cutie pie. Hey, hey, Barbara, we got any more of those pink T-shirts with my face on them? I want to send one to this Missy Cooper kid. Oh, oh, and get me some chicken nuggets, huh? Hello? Anybody out there? Apparently not. Barb!
- [final lines]
A Tummy Ache and a Whale of a Metaphor [2.12] edit
- George Cooper Sr: We need a doctor here!
- Sheldon: Where did you go to medical school?
- Doctor: University of Nebraska.
- Sheldon: Uh-oh.
- Sheldon: You know the soft kitty song?
- Nurse: No.
- Sheldon: I'll teach it to you. Get a note pad.
A Nuclear Reactor and a Boy Called Lovey [2.13] edit
- Sheldon: Do you have any idea where I could obtain radioactive material?
David, Goliath and a Yoo-Hoo From the Back [2.14] edit
- Georgie: Are you crazy?!
- Sheldon: Nope. Mom had me tested.
- Sheldon: You're fighting me, unless, you wanna shake hands and laugh about this over a glass of milk.
A Math Emergency and Perky Palms [2.15] edit
- Sheldon: I'm here every day, and it's like you don't know me at all.
- Sheldon: You're wrong and I can prove it.
A Loaf of Bread and a Grand Old Flag [2.16] edit
- [first lines]
- Adult Sheldon: I like to tell you a story about a time I was right. Yeah, now I'm sure you're thinking. But, Sheldon, you're never wrong. And you'd be right. But it's worth taking a closer look at this particular incident because it began with a loaf of bread and ended with me and my family almost being kicked out of the United States of America.
- George Cooper Sr: You loved this country!
- Sheldon: I loved this country!
Albert Einstein and the Story of Another Mary [2.17] edit
- Mary: I'm pregnant.
- George Cooper Sr: You gotta be kidding me.
- Sheldon: I need to become a Jewish person.
- Sheldon: Are these hot dogs kosher?
A Perfect Score and a Bunsen Burner Marshmallow [2.18] edit
- George Cooper Sr: What are you doing here?
- Sheldon: I got called to the principal's office.
- George Cooper Sr: So did I! What, you do something wrong?
- Sheldon: Not that I'm aware of. Did you?
- George Cooper Sr: I hope not.
- Sheldon: Maybe it's good news.
- George Cooper Sr: Sheldon, you ever been called the principal's office for good news.
- Sheldon: Never.
- George Cooper Sr: Oh.
- George Cooper Sr: My man.
- Sheldon: When was the last time you washed your hands?
A Political Campaign and a Candy Land Cheater [2.19] edit
- Sheldon: I'm running for class president.
- Sheldon: You think I'll win, right?
- Missy: God's listening, Mom.
A Proposal and a Popsicle Stick Cross [2.20] edit
- Mary Cooper: You know that Veronica Duncan girl?
- George Cooper Sr: The one that Georgie likes?
- Mary Cooper: Yeah. I was thinkin' about havin' her stay here for a couple days.
- George Cooper Sr: Wh-, is it Georgie's birthday or somethin'?
- Mary Cooper: No! She's just havin' a rough time at home.
- George Cooper Sr: [takes a sip of his beer] What's goin' wrong?
- Mary Cooper: Her mother's boyfriend has a drinkin' problem, and things have been gettin' out of hand.
- George Cooper Sr: You waited 'til I had a beer to tell me this story, didn't you?
- Mary Cooper: You always have a beer.
- Dr. John Sturgis: What's this? "Connie Tucker is proud to announce that she is sweet on Dr. John Sturgis and they are officially a romantic couple." Oh boy. I'm back in business!
- [final lines]
A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster [2.21] edit
- Missy: Cheers.
- Sheldon: Cheers.
A Swedish Science Thing and the Equation for Toast [2.22] edit
- George Cooper Sr: Why can't you read who won in the newspaper?
- Sheldon Cooper: I could say the same thing about the Super Bowl, but you still watch it.
- Missy Cooper: He got you there.
- Adult Sheldon: Thankfully, I was wrong.
- [final lines]
Season 3 edit
Quirky Eggheads and Texas Snow Globes [3.01] edit
- [Sheldon and Mary both think the other might have some mental health issues]
- Sheldon Cooper: You think *I* have mental problems?
- Mary Cooper: Well, not "problems". I'm just worried about your future. And when I see you moving sub-atomic particles around in the air, that makes me...
- Sheldon Cooper: Sub-atomic particles are real! You talk to an invisible man in the sky who grants wishes. If anyone's mental, it's you!
A Broom Closet and Satan's Monopoly Board [3.02] edit
- Dr. Linkletter: [Last line, after Sheldon left his class] No wonder Sturgis went crazy.
An Entrepreneurialist and a Swat on the Bottom [3.03] edit
- Missy Cooper: Is Sheldon going to jail?
- Mary Cooper: No!
- Missy Cooper: Damn it.
Hobbitses, Physicses and a Ball with Zip [3.04] edit
- Sheldon Cooper: Good news. I found a way to take a break from science.
- Mary Cooper: That's great. What is it?
- Sheldon Cooper: A fantasy book series called "The Lord of the Rings".
- Mary Cooper: It's got "the Lord" in it. That's something.
A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship [3.05] edit
- Mary: Okay. Dr. Sturgis will be joining us for dinner.
- Sheldon: Hot darn.
- Missy: That guy's back.
- Georgie: I thought he was in the nuthouse.
- Mary: We do not call it that!
- Georgie: That's what dad calls it.
- Mary: And that's why I made him sit. We need to make sure that Dr. Sturgis feels comfortable.
- George: How are we supposed to do that?
- Mary: For starters, do not bring up his time in the hospital.
A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm [3.06] edit
- Sheldon Cooper: [encouraging Missy] Do good baseball.
- Georgie Cooper: [Repeated line, unenthusiastically] Uh-huh.
Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting [3.07] edit
- Dale: You wanna switch to light beer?
- George Cooper Sr: Hey, I may have boobs, but I'm still a man.
The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's [3.08] edit
- Sheldon: They don't seem happy about it.
A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken [3.09] edit
Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib [3.10] edit
A Live Chicken, a Fried Chicken, and Holy Matrimony [3.11] edit
Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit [3.12] edit
Contracts, Rules and a Little Bit of Pig Brains [3.13] edit
A Slump, a Cross and Roadside Gravel [3.14] edit
A Boyfriend's Ex-Wife and a Good Luck Head Rub [3.15] edit
Pasadena [3.16] edit
- Adult Sheldon: In the early days of the Internet, you couldn't stream movies or summon Thai food to your doorstep. But... if you were interested in text-based news about upcoming physics lectures, it was a great time to be alive.
An Academic Crime and a More Romantic Taco Bell [3.17] edit
A Couple Bruised Ribs and a Cereal Box Ghost Detector [3.18] edit
A House for Sale and Serious Woman Stuff [3.19] edit
A Baby Tooth and the Egyptian God of Knowledge [3.20] edit
A Secret Letter and a Lowly Disc of Processed Meat [3.21] edit
- Adult Sheldon: I was not alone in asserting my independence that day. This tiny slice of hot dog also seemed to yearn for freedom. But sometimes, freedom comes at a cost. In this case, a lowly disc of processed meat, would nearly tear my family apart.
- Sheldon Cooper: How could you not tell me that Caltech wants me to go to school there?
- Mary Cooper: Because you're not going, so it doesn't matter.
- Sheldon Cooper: I've put together a presentation detailing the reasons why I should be allowed to go to college, and I'd like you to watch it with an open mind.
Season 4 edit
Graduation [4.01] edit
- Adult Sheldon (VO): The next day, the local news showed up to me and my family. Which may sound impressive, but this is the same local news that covered a potato chip shaped like Texas.
- Adult Sheldon (VO): In fact, it was the best graduation party I had ever been to, until the one we had for my son, Leonard Cooper.
- All: Amen.
- Missy: Cake!
- Adult Sheldon (VO): I wanted his name to be Leonard "Nimoy" Cooper, but Amy wouldn't let me.
- Amy (VO): Be happy I let you name him Leonard!
- Adult Sheldon (VO): Okay, okay!
- Amy (VO): Love you.
- Adult Sheldon (VO): Love you, too.
A Docent, A Little Lady and a Bouncer Named Dalton [4.02] edit
Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken [4.03] edit
Bible Camp and a Chariot of Love [4.04] edit
A Musty Crypt and a Stick to Pee On [4.05] edit
Freshman Orientation and the Inventor of the Zipper [4.06] edit
A Philosophy Class and Worms That Can Chase You [4.07] edit
An Existential Crisis and a Bear That Makes Bubbles [4.08] edit
Crappy Frozen Ice Cream and an Organ Grinder's Monkey [4.09] edit
Cowboy Aerobics and 473 Grease-Free Bolts [4.10] edit
A Pager, a Club and a Cranky Bag of Wrinkles [4.11] edit
A Box of Treasure and the Meemaw of Science [4.12] edit
The Geezer Bus and a New Model for Education [4.13] edit
Mitch's Son and the Unconditional Approval of a Government Agency [4.14] edit
A Virus, Heartbreak and a World of Possibilities [4.15] edit
A Second Prodigy and the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips [4.16] edit
A Black Hole [4.17] edit
- Mary Cooper: We need to pray right now.
The Wild and Woolly World of Nonlinear Dynamics [4.18] edit
Season 5 edit
One Bad Night and Chaos of Selfish Desires [5.01] edit
Snoopin' Around and the Wonder Twins of Atheism [5.02] edit
Potential Energy and Hooch on a Park Bench [5.03] edit
- Adult Sheldon (VO): In physics, potential energy is a fascinating topic. Objects like springs store energy when they're coiled, waiting to unleash their full potential and soar to the heavens. Would you look at me go! Even in toy form, I'm shooting for the stars. While the potential energy of an object can be measured in absolutes, human potential remains more elusive. Sometimes, people seem to have all the potential in the world, but for some reason stay stuck to the ground.
Pish Posh and a Secret Back Room [5.04] edit
Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy [5.05] edit
- Adult Sheldon (VO): In astronomy, a syzygy is a rare event when three or more celestial bodies line up. You may also know it as the stars aligning, which was probably coined by someone who couldn't spell "syzygy." If you want to win Scrabble, remember this bad boy. My father's idea of the stars aligning was having the house completely to himself. I was at school, Missy was at a friend's, Georgie was working, and my mother was on her way to a church retreat.
Money Laundering and a Cascade of Hormones [5.06] edit
An Introduction to Engineering and a Glob of Hair Gel [5.07] edit
The Grand Chancellor and a Den of Sin [5.08] edit
The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian [5.09] edit
An Expensive Glitch and a Goof-Off Room [5.10] edit
A Lock-In, a Weather Girl and a Disgusting Habit [5.11] edit
A Pink Cadillac and a Glorious Tribal Dance [5.12] edit
A Lot of Band-Aids and the Cooper Surrender [5.13] edit
A Free Scratcher and Feminine Wiles [5.14] edit
A Lobster, an Armadillo and a Way Bigger Number [5.15] edit
A Suitcase Full of Cash and a Yellow Clown Car [5.16] edit
A Solo Peanut, a Social Butterfly and the Truth [5.17] edit
- Georgie: Can we talk?
- Mandy: We'd better.
- Georgie: What's goin' on?
- Mandy: I'm pregnant.
Babies, Lies and a Resplendent Cannoli [5.18] edit
A God-Fearin' Baptist and a Hot Trophy Husband [5.19] edit
Uncle Sheldon and a Hormonal Firecracker [5.20] edit
White Trash, Holy Rollers and Punching People [5.21] edit
A Clogged Pore, a Little Spanish and the Future [5.22] edit
Season 6 edit
Four Hundred Cartons of Undeclared Cigarettes and a Niblingo [6.01] edit
Future Worf and the Margarita of the South Pacific [6.02] edit
- Sheldon: Actually.
Passion's Harvest and a Sheldocracy [6.03] edit
Blonde Ambition and the Concept of Zero [6.04] edit
A Resident Advisor and the Word 'Sketchy' [6.05] edit
An Ugly Car, an Affair and Some Kickass Football [6.06] edit
A Tougher Nut and a Note on File [6.07] edit
Legalese and a Whole Hoo-Ha [6.08] edit
College Dropouts and the Medford Miracle [6.09] edit
Pancake Sunday and Textbook Flirting [6.10] edit
Ruthless, Toothless, and a Week of Bed Rest [6.11] edit
A Baby Shower and a Testosterone-Rich Banter [6.12] edit
A Frat Party, a Sleepover and the Mother of All Blisters [6.13] edit
A Launch Party and a Whole Human Being [6.14] edit
Teen Angst and a Smart-Boy Walk of Shame [6.15] edit
- Mary: You got the baby to settle down. Easy-peasy.
- Meemaw: Take it down a notch, nana.
- Mary: I will try, but I don't know if I can.
- Meemaw: Georgie on the couch.
A Stolen Truck and Going on the Lam [6.16] edit
A German Folk Song and an Actual Adult [6.17] edit
Little Green Men and a Fella's Marriage Proposal [6.18] edit
A New Weather Girl and a Stay-at-Home Coddler [6.19] edit
German for Beginners and a Crazy Old Man with a Bat [6.20] edit
A Romantic Getaway and a Germanic Meat-Based Diet [6.21] edit
- Adult Sheldon (VO): It may have been midnight in Medford, but it was morning in Heidelberg. The perfect time to enjoy a hearty breakfast of leberwurst on pumpernickel.
- Adult Sheldon (VO): I'll save you from googling.
- Adult Sheldon (VO): I was presented with a moral dilemma.
A Tornado, a 10-Hour Flight and a Darn Fine Ring [6.22] edit
- Announcer: The National Weather Service has issued a tornado warning for the following counties: Polk, Trinity, Angelina, Nacogdoches.