WWE Championship Wrestling

1984

March 17

[Piper's Pit; Piper has Andre the Giant as his guest.]

Piper: I'm not really that well acquainted with you. First of all Andre, here we have this week on Piper's Pit of course, Andre the Giant. Supposedly the biggest man in the world ever. It's a pleasure to have you. Where are you from Andre? (Andre doesn't respond) I'm sorry, do you speak English? Andre, where...do...you...come...from?

Andre: None of your business!

Piper: If the questions are too hard for you, I will try to bring them down for you so you can understand. Big body, little tiny weeny brain. I can understand that, that's very simple. Let's get down to facts. Is it true that John Studd himself took the largest man like yourself supposedly in the world and picked him up and slammed him? Is it not true that John Studd slammed you?

Andre: Never.

Piper: Are you telling me that John Studd never slammed you? Are you trying to tell me at 540 pounds, whatever you are, you cannot be slammed?

Andre: Do you understand English or no? I told you that one time already.

Piper: At 520 pounds, if I've given five minutes, I could slam you myself! I don't care, you say John Studd, at 520--

[Andre rises from his seat, grabs Piper by the collar and tosses him around a bit.]

Piper: You think you're tough?! Come on!! You ain't nothing! You ain't nothing! I'll tell you one thing right now! You want a fight Andre? You're going to find out one thing, you do not throw rocks at a man who's got a machine gun!

April 14

[Piper's Pit; Rowdy Roddy Piper has Frank Williams as his guest.]

Piper: Being the kind person that I am and I'm giving everyone a fair break, what I'm doing out of the kindness of my heart, I have a gentleman named Frank Williams. Frank Williams, first of all, I don't know where you come from.

Frank Williams: Columbus, Ohio.

Piper: From Columbus, Ohio. I've wrestled in Columbus, Ohio. I've never lost a match in Columbus, Ohio. Have you ever lost a match?

Frank Williams: Yeah.

Piper: You have. See, it seems odd to me when you're talking about fighting careers and a career like myself, I went on the premise of never having to lose a match. I've never lost a match in my whole career. I've had different things happen to me, but I've never actually lost a match because I figured once you were defeated one time that it would take that oomph away from you that you needed. Yourself, you are just the opposite. I have never seen you win a match in my whole career of watching you and I've seen you with tremendous fighters. I've seen what you've done, but you lack the guts, you lack the authority to go in there. You lack the guts and when you're against the ropes, you stand there instead of going after the man. You just back off of him, maybe a little cowardism. Maybe what you should do, maybe you should be making pizzas.

Frank Williams: (grabs mike) I'm not a coward of nobody! I'm not afraid of nobody! I'm always in that ring!

Piper: Wait a second, wait a second! Just relax, relax. This is, this is verbal, this not physical. Pizzas or something like that.

Frank Williams: I said I'm not afraid of nobody. I'm always inside of ring no matter what and I don't run from nobody!

Piper: You got no room for nobody. That's a wonderful thing. You got no room for nobody, but you're a lousy wrestler! It's as simple as that.

Frank Williams: I might be a lousy wrestler, but I'm still in there and I'm not afraid of nobody!

[Piper starts beating up Williams]

Vince: Piper hammering away! Oh no! Piper all over Frank Williams! Unbelievable!

Piper: It's as simple as this! [beats up Williams some more and throws him to the back]

Vince: Oh no! That's incredible!

Piper: Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions!