Virginia Satir

Virginia Satir (26 June 1916 – 10 September 1988) Psychotherapist, family therapist, co-founder of the Mental Health Research Institute (MHRI) in Menlo Park, founder of the International Human Learning Resources Network (IHLRN; originallythe "Beautiful People") in 1970, and The Advanta Network in 1977; born Virginia Pagenkopf.


  • Why Family Therapy...because it deals with family pain. you
    • Conjoint Family Therapy: A Guide to theory and technique (1967)
  • A growing body of clinical observation has pointed to the conclusion that the family therapy must be oriented to the family as a whole.
    • Conjoint Family Therapy: A Guide to theory and technique (1967)
  • I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen, heard, understood and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand and touch another person. When this is done, I feel contact has been made.
  • I have often thought had there been somebody like me around, something might have been able to be done. I also think I don't see how I could have done what I've done in the world had I been married. And when I decided-because I've been on the verge of marriage many times-I said no, because if I wanted to roam the globe like I did, it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to the people. At the point, I really feel it was a kind of destiny because I've been able to get to places. There are some people in the world who have other jobs to do.
  • To all my friends, colleagues and family: I send you love. Please support me in my passage to a new life. I have no other way to thank you than this. You have all played a significant part in my development of loving. As a result, my life has been rich and full, so I leave feeling very grateful.
    • Brief biography at (1999)


I want to love you without clutching,
appreciate you without judging
join you without invading,
invite you without demanding,
leave you without guilt,
criticize you without blaming,
and help you without insulting.
If I can have the same from you,
then we can truly meet and enrich each other.

  • We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.

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Last modified on 15 April 2014, at 18:34