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Video on Trial

television series

Video on Trial (abbreviated as VOT) is a half-hour MuchMusic television program where a panel of musicians, comedians and entertainment columnists critique music videos.

In the opening credits, the narrator describes the show as being "the show that will never rest until all music videos are brought to justice".

Season 1

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Episode 1.1

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Episode 1.24

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  • Alex Nussbaum: Britney, before you open the door, make sure you know who it is. It just could be a stalker. (on "Lucky" by Britney Spears)

Episode 1.25

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Episode 1.26

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  • David Kerr: If you're still playing with dolls, you're too young for fake breasts. (on "Stupid Girls" by Pink)
  • David Kerr: Look out, Dr. Phil. There is a new caring man out there and his name is Marshall Mathers. (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)
  • David Kerr: Why is it that Stan's inner voice sounds just like Eminem? (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)
  • Alex Nussbaum: Look at his name. "Stan" written in capital letters, with not just one but two exclamation marks, just in case you didn't know he was an intense guy. Stan! (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)

Episode 1.27

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  • Nicole Arbour: When I see the lights, it makes me go boom boom boom shboom boom boom boom b-boom, spandex! (on "Sorry" by Madonna)
  • Steven Shehori: Whoa, looks like Madonna isn't choosy about the men she picks. But enough about Guy Ritchie. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)
  • Steven Shehori: [In the music video, Madonna dances in a MMA cage] We now observe Madonna in her natural habitat. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)

Episode 1.28

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Episode 1.29

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  • Roddy Colmer: You're fired. You're fired. You're so fired. You're gay. You're fired. (on "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson)

Episode 1.30

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Episode 1.31

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  • Linda Dano (speaking in the music video): He is 25 years old, and she is 84 years old.
  • Sabrina Jalees: Please welcome Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher! (on "The Hardest Part" by Coldplay)
  • Pink (music video lyrics): My parents hated me, my teachers dated me.
  • Ron Josol: Oh, the cat is out of the bag! You were one of those girls?! (on "Don't Let Me Get Me" by Pink)

Episode 1.32

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  • Matt Alden: I'm not sure, but I think Shaggy just recited the alphabet backwards somewhere in there. (on "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy featuring Rikrok)

Episode 1.33

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  • Dini Dimakos: Yeah, you'll talk to this basket case, but when there's a hot guy you'll be like, "Oh, no, I can't talk, I'm all shy and nervous!" (on "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield)

Episode 1.34

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  • Trevor Boris: "Who knew" that this would be such a crappy video. I had a feeling. (on "Who Knew" by Pink
  • Alex Nussbaum: Zeus shows him a yellow paper. Is it that he needs help reading it, or is he challenging Chamillionaire to see if he can read? (on "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire featuring Krazyie Bone)
  • Fraser Young: That's my parents arguing over whose fault it is that they forgot my 9th birthday. (on "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley)

Episode 1.35

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  • Ali Rizvi: So if Satan plays a guitar, what does Jesus play? Like...a flute or something? (on "Tribute" by Tenacious D)

Episode 1.36

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Episode 1.37

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  • Dini Dimakos: For a virgin, Jon's pretty flexible....wanna go out some time? (on "S Club Party" by S Club 7)
  • Dini Dimakos: I give this video 4 S Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuubs out of 5 S Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubs! (on "S Club Party" by S Club 7)

Season 2

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Episode 2.01

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Episode 2.02

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(In the video beginning, Jessica and other show business counterparts try to outdo each other in hypothetical "Midas touch" scenarios with a fame twist, each starting with "I wanna be so famous...")

Episode 2.03

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  • Dini Dimakos: Animal cruelty: dying a dog's fur purple. Human cruelty: making a human's hair look like a poodle. (on "Morris Brown" by Outkast featuring Scar and Sleepy Brown)

Episode 2.04

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  • Laurie Elliott: You're not here for our entertainment? Oh, why would you be, you're just an entertainer... (on "U + Ur Hand" by Pink)

Episode 2.05

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  • Hugh Phukovsky: I don't need to listen to a robot talk about love. Robots don't know anything about love. Love comes from here. The human heart...of a 50-year old Jewish man. (on "Too Little Too Late" by JoJo)

Episode 2.06

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  • Fraser Young: You gotta understand, this was made in 1984. They didn't even have pencils back then! They just had to throw dirty rocks at a piece of paper and hope it makes a picture. (on "Take on Me" by a-ha)

Episode 2.07

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Episode 2.08

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  • Ron Sparks: If I tried to put my thumbs down any further, I would mess my pants. And then my pants would be full of Hinder. (on "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder)

Episode 2.09

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  • Boomer Phillips: I could kick Tinkerbell in the face... and not feel bad. And I'm a guy who loves dogs. Just... Kick it in the face!! (on Paris Hilton's chihuahua Tinkerbell in "Nothing in This World" by Paris Hilton)
  • Trevor Boris: All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, made out of diamonds, bitches! (on "Chain Hang Low" by Jibbs)
  • Trevor Boris: "I'm madly in anger with you"? Okay, that is officially the gayest line in all of heavy metal. (on "St. Anger" by Metallica)

Episode 2.10

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Episode 2.11

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  • Nikki Payne: Ooh you naughty cake I’m gonna wrestle in some cake to make me sure if it doesn’t hurt your children. (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring will.i.am)
  • Dini Dimakos: There are two places where Fergie doesn't charge for admission: Fergieland and between her legs. Coincidentally, they are the same place. (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring will.i.am)
  • Trevor Boris: This video is sh-, this video is sh-, this video is sh-, shit shit shit shit! (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring will.i.am)

Episode 2.12

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Episode 2.13

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  • Ron Sparks: Hey, some weird guy in a trenchcoat just followed a half-black, half-white woman up my staircase. Get over here! (on "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson)

Episode 2.14

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Episode 2.15

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Episode 2.18

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Episode 2.19

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  • Ron Sparks: So you go driving around in your parents car, without a license, and you pick up some run-away, and she's underaged, and you go to jail, and then they have to come back early to bail you out? Yeah, parents just don't understand. What is with parents!? (on "Parents Just Don't Understand" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince)

Episode 2.22

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Episode 2.23

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  • Nicole Arbour: Just when I thought she couldn't copy Gwen anymore, she went and got black Harajuku girls. (on "Glamorous" by Fergie featuring Ludacris)

Episode 2.26

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  • Nicole Arbour: "Why don't you like me?" I'll tell you why I don't like you, Mika, because you say "like" like you're licking something. Presumably...some dude's ballsack. High five! (on "Grace Kelly" by Mika)

Episode 2.28

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  • Darrin Rows: This video made me want to kill myself, even more than the Marilyn Manson video, which really made me want to kill myself. So this episode of Video on Trial could end with a double suicide, in which I kill myself twice, which is mathematically impossible. (on "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance)

Episode 2.29

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  • Ron Sparks: Dude, these space people came billions of miles just to meet you. I really think they'll be willing to walk across your room. You're gonna have to run further than that. (on "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell)

Season 3

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Episode 3.02

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Episode 3.03

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(referring to the lead singer, Bert McCracken)

(In the video, Bert projectile vomits in a bartender's face)

  • Dini Dimakos:The next time some guy grabs my ass on the street, I'll be like (mimics projectile vomiting) How do you like that?! (on "Pretty Handsome Awkward by The Used)

Episode 3.05

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Episode 3.07

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(Every clip of the chorus "...superman dat ho" is compiled and in between each clip, Ward Anderson interjects pointing with both hands at the viewer)

Episode 3.09

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Episode 3.12

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  • Andrew Johnston: You lied to me... you told me you were a chick. Oh my god, she is such a tranny. (on "Wake Up Call" by Maroon 5)

Episode 3.14

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  • Josh Ramsay: Twenty bucks says ten years from now, Britney Spears is trying to sleep with her kids' friends. She's fifty pounds overweight and she's going, "YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!" (on "Piece of Me" by Britney Spears)
  • Josh Ramsay: I wonder if the story is, like, one of those lost in translation things... It makes sense in Swedish, but in English, it's a little like when you're going around Ikea and you're like, "Oh, I want to have this chair, but its name is 'Svinlodenlinlin.'" (on "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives)

Episode 3.16

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Episode 3.20

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  • Andrew Johnston: Sexiest bitch in this video, right there. That 70-year old woman and her dog. (on "We Like to Party" by Vengaboys)

Episode 3.21

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Episode 3.22

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Season 4

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Episode 4.01

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Episode 4.06

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Episode 4.13

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  • Boomer Phillips: You can just tell Beyonce passed on this one. 'Give it to Slango or whatever the hell my sister's name is.' (on "Sandcastle Disco" by Solange Knowles)
  • Dini Dimakos: She dresses like what our grandparents thought hookers in the future would dress like. (on "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga)

Episode 4.18

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(Music video dialogue: Did you miss me?)

Season 5

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Episode 5.13

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  • Debra DiGiovanni: Are you gonna make out with her?

Episode 5.27

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Season 6

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Episode 6.07

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(In the music video, the song's title is displayed on the screen)

  • Debra DiGiovanni: Now I will tell you off the top, that is not how you spell champagne. I am pretty sure there's a 'g' in it. (on "Shampain" by Marina and the Diamonds)

Episode 6.08

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(In the music video, Dirt Nasty is shown at a bar mitzvah)

  • Hunter Collins: Now this how you throw a bar mitzvah. Man, my bar mitzvah was the worst. Everyone was just yelling at me, like, "You didn't learn the Scriptures! Why are you wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey? You're 25! You aren't even Jewish!", and I was like, "Just give me your money and presents already." (on "I Can't Dance" by Dirt Nasty featuring LMFAO)

Episode 6.19

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(In the music video, Kesha and James Van Der Beek shoot at each other with guns that fire rainbows, killing various unicorns in the proccess)

  • Trevor Boris: Oh, this is good to know. So now, if you're ever attacked by unicorns...which don't exist...just shoot them with rainbows...which isn't possible. (on "Blow" by Kesha)

Episode 6.21

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(In the music video, a woman pushes a man who is bleeding from the head out of a moving car in the desert)

  • Boomer Phillips: This is damn double-standard bullshit at its best. If this was the guy pushing the girl out of the car because she had a head wound, never be aired! But if it's the girl pushing the guy out, totally fine! (on "Rill Rill" by Sleigh Bells)

Season 8

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Episode 8.18

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  • Julia Hladkowicz: This video makes me want to take away my own women's right to vote. (on "Big Banana" by Havana Brown)
  • Sabrina Jalees: I can just imagine the meeting Havana has with the record producers. They were probably like; "Okay, Havana what do you want to do a song about today? (Dumb voice) Banana... (Normal voice) Just bananas? (Dumb voice) Actually, big bananas. (on "Big Banana" by Havana Brown)
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