VG Cats
webcomic
VG Cats is a webcomic by Scott Ramsoomair.
Strips 1-99
edit- Aeris: I've taken heavy losses and the Zerg have us pinned. If your reinforcements don't make it here soon it's all over!
- Leo: (over com): Just a minute, I heard if you poke an Ursadon enough they'll explode!
- Aeris: What?!? I'm risking my god damn life here and you're poking critters?!? What kind of fucking moron goes and...ah!! I'm hit!! *Bang Bang*...Take that you!! *Screeech*...Aaaahhhhhh!!!...For the sworm...
- Leo: Damn it explode! [Poke Poke Poke]
- Ursadon: Bah-Ram-Ewe.
- Leo: Wow! What an amazing and high detail error screen. You sure did get your money's worth on this...
- Aeris: Oh shut the hell up! This is nothing a quick phone call to tech support won't fix.
- 2 hours and no X-Box later...
- Aeris: Yes, I'm getting an error every time my X-Box loads up.
- Microsoft Tech: Not a problem, if you just send it back to us we'll be sure to deliver a replacement right away Ms. Harris.
- Aeris: My name's Aeris.
- Microsoft Tech: That's what I said, Aeris.
- 2 weeks and no X-Box later...
- Microsoft Tech: I'm sorry but, we never send out any new systems. I'm not sure where you got that ide*fizzle* *kshhhh* (Aeris has destroyed the cordless phone)
- 2 months and no X-Box later...
- Microsoft Tech: Hello Ms. Harris, we're following up to see if you are enjoying your new X-Box...Mrs. Harris...Hello?...Ma'am?
- TV Newscaster: At a press conference earlier today CEO of Microsoft, Bill Gates was strangled to death. Police were helpless if not unwilling to save Mr. Gates as they "Didn't really give a s**t". A sentiment shared by onlookers to this event as they commented "Have you ever tried using Windows?!?" and "It's about time someone did it." In other news, I'm not wearing any pants. More on this after the weather.
- Pit from Kid Icarus: You know I was this close to getting into Smash Bros. It's all politics really...
- The dog from Duck Hunt (thinking to himself): Oh God, here he goes again.
- Duke Nukem: *Grumble* Stupid Serious Sam stealing my thunder. *Grumble*
- Pac-Man:GET IN MA BELLA
- Ghost: Just shut up! It wasn't funny the first time you said it, so why would it be funny the next 17 times!?!
- n00b: Wut buttun is fly up?/
- Aeris: Space Bar for the love of God, Space Bar!!
Strips 100-199
edit- Leo: It's about those alien face huggers. They clamp to your face and implant their babies into your stomach, right?
- Aeris: ...Yeah, why?
- Leo: Well wouldn't that mean they stick their, you know, down your throat?
- Aeris: Oh God. They're raping your face! That's horrible!
- Leo: I tell ya. As if killing you isn't bad enough. You also get a face full of alien wing-wong.
- Leo: GAWD, it's SO hot out. Hot like my butt, which really isn't that hot. No. Not with that face growing out of it. If you touch it you can see the future. You know like that Total Recall Movie. Only totally not! They ripped me off. Would you like to see the future?
- Aeris: Do you even listen to yourself anymore?
- Leo: I try not to, it breaks the illusion.
- Leo: Spare monies for a noob?..Heal plz?..How I mine for fish?
- Narrator: Finally...You can't hurt da Blob! Well not physically anyway.
- Aeris: You offend all of my super senses. By god I can taste the air around you. It's like bacon gone bad.
- Edward Elric: At last we've found it, Al. The Philosopher..
- Harry Potter and Edward Elric: ..Stone?
- Harry Potter: By the smelly hat of Gryffindor I command thee to back away shorty.
- Edward Elric: What was that four eyes?
- Harry Potter: Oh good show Oedipus! How's that mother complex?
- Edward Elric: Bite me LARPer!
- Harry Potter: A dashing rebuttal, really.
- Edward Elric: How about you shut the hell up and I kick your ass. Equivalent exchange bitch!
- Scar: You know when your Mom says not to pick at it? Boy she wasn't kidding.
- Alphonse Elric: Our Mom is a pus spewing, organ pile, sin against God.
- Scar: Yikes. Um, good luck with that.
- Aeris: Oh bloody hell, [my iPod's] frozen again? I just bought this!
- Leo: You think Steve Jobs is ever without his black turtleneck?
- Aeris: No, Never. It's the source of his power.
- Leo: Power?
- Aeris: The power to oversell this ergonomic garbage with a straight face.
- Leo: That's boring. Aquaman boring. I bet it's to hide some kind of disfiguring scar.
- Aeris: Like where his heart escaped?
- Steve Jobs' Heart: Escaped? No. He said he didn't need me anymore. Then he put a cigarette out in my eye.
- Aeris: I'm surprised you have an eye.
- Steve Jobs' Heart: Name me an Apple Product that doesn't.
- Aeris: Touché.
- Edward Elric: Al… I'm going to transplant Mom's tulips.
- Alphonse Elric: You can't brother! It's the greatest sin of all.
- Ed: I don't care!
- Later that Day
- *RAR!*
- Al: We shouldn't have played florist, brother!
- *BONK*
- Ed: Gah!
Strips 200-299
edit- Will Wright: So it's got butts for eyes?
- Leo: He poops to see.
- Will Wright: Why do you abuse my games so?
- Robot: Brave citizens of the land, fear not! The Republic of Morskoj has come to liberate you!
- [Destroys apartment block] Feel liberated, houses!
- [Stomps on and squashes people] Taste freedom, citizens!
- [Tips tree over with claw] Flower democracy... um... birch tree?
- [Rocket hits robot] Oh, I'm going to liberate the shit out of you.
- Aeris: Check out that gear. [Points to armour on wall rack.] It's a huge defense boost.
- Leo: I don't think you can wear it yet.
- Aeris: What? Why not?
- Leo: You don't have the License Points to wear hats yet.
- Aeris: I don't need License Points to know how to wear a freaking hat. What else am I going to do with it? Oh look! DUR! DUR! DUR! Hat go on foot, DUUUR!
- Leo: We Dalmascans are pretty stupid like that. Without the experience points it's a wonder we can wipe our own ass.
- Aeris: [Now wearing hat on face.] Well I'm honestly ashamed of myself. Let's go kill Cactuar until I learn how to stop being retarded.
- Koopa: All the king requires is this. A simple offering of earth and water. A token offering of submission to the will of Koopa.
- Mario: Earth and fire... you'll find plenty of both down there.
- Koopa: This is blasphemy, plumber. This is madness!
- Mario: Madness? THIS IS MUSHROOM KINGDOM!!
