Too Much Coffee Man
satirical cartoon character
Too Much Coffee Man is an American satirical comic strip, created by Shannon Wheeler.
- That which doesn’t kill you doesn't make you stronger, it makes you bitter and cynical.
- Patience comes to those who wait.
- Our pasts wax while our future wanes.
- Life is short... and getting shorter by the minute.
- The future; everyone is housed clothed and fed, because everyone is in jail.
- Each day goes by so slow but my life goes by so fast.
- If you can’t be happy naturally, be happy unnaturally.
- The key to productivity is to rotate what you’re avoiding.
- One’s expectation is the scriptwriter of one’s experience.
- Imagine if we had failed. If we had failed, we wouldn’t be able to imagine it.
- If one cup of makes me feel good, then two cups will make me feel better.
- I'm wasting time worrying about wasting time.
- Do they pick bad art to go in offices, or does an office make the art bad?
- "No smoking is allowed". That's good, because people shouldn't have to smoke if they don't want to.
- Somewhere between anticipation and nostalgia we should have been happy.
- Everyone on this planet will be dead in 200 years. Old age.
- Never, ever drive when you’re drunk. But if you do drive drunk be sure and wear a seat-belt.
- The first rule of drinking is that your judgement is impaired so you can’t judge how much your judgement is impaired.
- How can an animal with a brain the size of a walnut be more interesting than me?
- Speech is free. Talk is cheap.
- People are going to stop liking your work if they think it’s phony. You mean I need to be phony so that people will think I’m sincere?
- It’s better to have loved and lost than to have loved and caught something.
- Unrequited love is like hitting you head against a wall that isn’t there.
- The more money I earn the more I need to spend.
- I like funerals. You dress up, eat good food, and there is no pressure to enjoy yourself.
- When I die I want an apple tree planted over my head. Then when people eat the fruit they’ll be eating me.
- Performance art isn’t hit/miss. It’s miss/miss/miss/miss/hit/miss/miss.
- Life is a balance of self-indulgence and self-preservation.
- You should have waited to shave your head until after you got a new girlfriend.
- my body .. abused. my mind .. unhinged / my reality .. maintained. I am happy.