Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory

2005 video game

Chaos Theory is the third game in the Splinter Cell series of books and games. This game follows NSA Agent Sam Fisher, a 'Splinter Cell' in the anti-terrorist group Third Echelon, as he tracks down the unwanted release of a series of information warfare algorithms called the 'Masse Kernels', while China, North Korea and Japan are all at high tension with each other.

Characters

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Fisher

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  • ["I Believe" trailer] My name is Sam Fisher. I'm a soldier. I'm not much of a philosopher, but if you want to know what I believe, I'll tell you. I believe the greatest threats to our freedom actually start small. They begin as random events that most people don't even notice. But they grow. They multiply. They start chain reactions that threaten the entire world. Some people call that "fate". I call it "Chaos Theory". But, believing in Chaos Theory doesn't mean you have to surrender to it. That's where I come in. I find those threats before they get out of hand, and I eliminate them. Quickly, quietly, relentlessly. I take the lives of a few to protect the lives of many. I commit acts of war to preserve the greater peace. I take no joy in killing, but make no mistake; I'll do what needs to be done. Because it's my job. It's my duty. My name is Sam Fisher, and I am a Splinter Cell.
  • [teaser trailer] I am a soldier, I've served my country for 20 years. But if I'm captured or killed I know that nobody will come to rescue me. I won't even get a funeral. Because the nation that I protect can never admit that I exist. So my death would go unremarked, my bones would go unclaimed. I don't know if that day will come but I do know...that it must not be today! I am invisible, I am relentless. I am Sam Fisher. I am a Splinter Cell.
  • I already don't like you - don't make it worse for yourself.
  • If I find out you're lying, I will come back for you.
  • Thanks, I've always found it hard to count past three.
  • You guys use some cool toys.
  • Co-operate and I won't cripple you.
  • So, besides for stopping World War Three, is there anything else I can do for you this evening?
  • They're not my men colonel and they are not yours either. They are just men, husbands, fathers, sons. Same as you and I. Do they need to die for our mistakes?
  • You're right, Doug; I wouldn't shoot an old friend.

Lambert

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  • Be more than careful, be Gandhi...

Dialogue

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Grimsdottir: Maria Narcissa...
Fisher: You're not trying to set me up on another blind date, I hope.
Grimsdottir: The Maria Narcissa is a boat.
Fisher: So was the last girl you set me up with.
Grimsdottir: Fisher!
Fisher: Sorry...

Fisher: Lambert... Now that I'm holding fifty million bucks... I think we need to talk about that raise again.
Lambert: Hmm... Twenty-five cents an hour and not a penny more.
Fisher: ...Deal.

Fisher: I'm not a tuxedo kind of guy.
Civilian: But-but you are some kind of spy.
Fisher: Yeah, I'm the real kind. Not the tuxedo kind.

Lambert: Fisher, the National Guard was deployed into Manhattan about an hour ago.
Fisher: I feel safer already.

Fisher: How many guards on duty tonight?
Guard: You mean including me?
Fisher: Unless you're suggesting I remove you from the equation.

Fisher: Don't tell me: Three alarms and the mission is over?
Lambert: Of course not. This is no video-game, Fisher.

Fisher: Give me some intelligence or you'll be pushing up daisies in a cemetery full of guys just like you.
Guard: I don't have any intelligence.
Fisher: Hey, you just called yourself stupid.

Guard 1: Hey, who killed the lights?
Guard 2: I wish you hadn't said 'kill'.

Lighthouse

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Lambert: I'm hearing gunfire down there, Fisher. Is everything alright?
Sam: It's coming from up ahead, but Lambert... when I think 'guerrilla', I think 'Kalashnikov'.
Lambert: What do you mean?
Sam: I've had enough AK's fired at me in my time to tell you that wasn't one.

Sam: Didn't anyone ever tell you that spelunking is dangerous?
Peruvian terrorist: Oh no! You're going to kill me, right?
Sam: Only if you say the word 'monkey'. Now tell something I want to know.
Peruvian terrorist: Ah... ammunition and medical supplies. Check around the cape, they have tons of stuff in there.
Sam: Some of you guys are real helpful. Why do you have to work for the bad guys?
Peruvian terrorist: You are the American oppressor; you're the bad guy.
Sam: Are you gonna say monkey?
Peruvian terrorist: What? No!
Sam: Then this conversation is over.

Sam: I already don't like you, don't make it worse for yourself.
Peruvian terrorist: Who, who are you?
Sam: Shut up! Why did you torture Morgenholt?
Peruvian terrorist: Lacerda told us to.
Sam: Why? What does he wanna know.
Peruvian terrorist: Math problems. Programmer stuff. I don't get it.
Sam: You're just the stupid one who likes to hurt people, eh?
Peruvian terrorist: Ex- exactly.
Sam: You think you have a reason why this world wouldn't be a better place without you?
Peruvian terrorist: Ah... please... I...
Sam: I didn't think so.

Sam: Boo!
Peruvian terrorist: Arrgh! I knew you would come.
Sam: What?
Peruvian terrorist: My whole life... my whole life I have been waiting for you to come in the thunder and the darkness and finish what you began.
Sam: What are you talking about?
Peruvian terrorist: You are one of them, one of the Americans who killed my family and now you've come back for me.
Sam: Uh, I don't think so.
Peruvian terrorist: Do your worst. I have always known it would end this way. I am prepared to die.
Sam: You're freaking me out.
Peruvian terrorist: Kill me! I long to see my family again.
[If interrogated again]
Peruvian terrorist: I'm coming, father.
[If interrogated again]
Peruvian terrorist: I'm coming, mother.

Sam: Who were you talking to?
Peruvian terrorist: Your Mom, Why? Who are you?
Sam: I'm the guy who's gonna break your neck if you say that again.

Lambert: It doesn't sound too good down there, Fisher.
Sam: The sound isn't the problem. You should smell it.
Lambert: You sure he's dead?
Sam: Deader than Elvis.
Lambert: Alright, leave the body. We still need to recover any traces of the interrogation. Grim will call you back.
[If the player cuts the body loose]
Lambert: Fisher, I said leave the body! We don't have the means to extract him.
Sam: Just because he's dead doesn't mean I have to leave him here hanging like a piece of meat.
Lambert: Don't get too connected, Fisher. I need you to stay rational.
Sam: You can spare 30 seconds for some simple dignity.
[If the player shoots the body]
Lambert: Sam, what are you doing?
Sam: Making sure he's not suffering.
Lambert: Well leaving NATO rounds in his body is not gonna look good. Leave the evidence alone and get moving.
Sam: On my way.

Lambert: Good work, Fisher. If we can analyse the intelligence you gathered from those crates, we can make a lot of people's jobs a whole lot safer.
Sam: How come no one ever does things to make my job safer?
Lambert: If you want me to hire some more analysts to interpret information for you, I can do that...
Sam: On second thought, the danger's not so bad.

Anna: Maria Narcissa.
Sam: You're not trying to set me up on another blind date I hope.
Anna: The Maria Narcissa is a boat.
Sam: So was the last girl you set me up with.
Anna: Fisher!
Sam: Sorry.

Sam: Sounds suspicious.
Anna: Sounds like I'm setting you up for another date after all.
Sam: Can't wait to meet her.

Anna: Damn, you just took out their radio operator!
Sam: He asked for it.

Anna: Wow, that was extreme!
Sam: Radio man and radio all at once. I figured it was a good investment of resources.
Anna: I think he was radioing the smugglers who delivered the arms.
Sam: Oh... oops.

[If the player already knows about the smugglers]
Anna: Wow, that was extreme!
Sam: Radio man and radio all at once. I figured it was a good investment of resources.
Anna: Maybe so, but it was still messy.
Sam: The world's a messy place, Grim.

Cargo Ship

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Sam: What are you doing here?
Terrorist: I would ask you the same.
Sam: I have a knife. You go first.

Terrorist 1: Uh, did you just...?
Terrorist 2: No, I thought it was you.
Terrorist 1: It wasn't me. Madre de Dios, it STINKS!
Terrorist 2: Smells like... I'm not sure. Like gas fumes.
Terrorist 1: Smells like mud!
Terrorist 2: Yeah. Smells like gas fumes from a swamp.
Terrorist 1: You think it's dangerous?
Terrorist 2: Probably not.

Sam: Tell me something useful, or I'll have to hurt you.
Terrorist: Oh no! Please!
Sam: Don't beg. It's pathetic.

Sam: Shh, don't make a scene.
Lacerda: Ugh! Madre de Dios!
Sam: Not exactly. But if it makes you feel better to pray.

Guard: Lacerda, come on, bring us a drink!
Sam: Calm him down.
Lacerda: [Shouting] Uh... uh, si! I'm looking for some rum!
Guard: What, you need a hand?
Lacerda: [Shouting] No! No, I-I find it!
Sam: Good job.

Bank

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Guard 1: Hey Emilio, did you see these new motion sensing lights?
Guard 2: No, what do they do?
Guard 1: When they detect movement, the light turns on.
Guard 2: That's... that's amazing!
Guard 1: Like magic.
Guard 2: I think I'm going to get one of those for my garage. Imagine that, you pull up in your car at night, and the driveway lights up automatically!
Guard 1: Ha, you're crazy! This is hi-tech stuff, Emilio. It probably costs thousands of dollars.
Guard 2: Hmmm... Si, you're probably right. I could never afford it.

Sam: What kind of security do you have out here?
Guard: We have these new motion sensors.
Sam: Motion sensors?
Guard: Si, they turn on the lights.
Sam: Oh... no alarms, just lights? Like for your garage?
Guard: Er, not for my garage. Are you kidding? Those things are expensive! High-tech!
Sam: Uh, yeah. Whatever.

Anna: If its any consolation, I had a bad year that year too.
Sam: What, you weren't working for the government during the gulf war?
Anna: No, I was in tenth grade.
Sam: Oh, right... Yuck!

Sam: Lasers? Lasers are so--
Anna: Nineties?
Sam: I was going to say "seventies". Could you please stop making me feel old?
Anna: I've got bad news for you, Sam, you are old.

Guard 1: I'm telling you, it was a rat.
Guard 2: No chance, it was way too big to be a rat. Maybe it was a monkey, or... or a bear.
Guard 1: Ha, a bear! You're crazy. I know that vent is pretty big, but bears are huge. And a bear would have destroyed the treasurer's office anyway.
Guard 2: Well, maybe it was a little bear. You know, one of those cute ones.
Guard 1: We don't even have bears in Panama.
Guard 2: Maybe it escaped from the zoo.
Guard 1: You're an imbecile.
Guard 2: It was too big to be a rat.

Lambert: That's half of the forged mails, Sam. Four more to go.
Sam: Thanks. I've always found it hard to count past three.
Lambert: No need to be smarmy, Sam.

Guard: [Apparently talking over radio] Well, what else can I do? You want me to check if the president left the air-conditioning on in his office, I kind of actually have to enter the office! Of course I used the door code! Of course! What do you mean "no secure"? No one is listening! You are paranoid! What? Do not say the door code? 3490! 3490! 3490! 3490!! There, I said it! I said the code! What are you going to do about it? Oh! Oh! Oh, I am terrified! Estupido!!

Sam: Alright, I don't know who you are, but this is private property.
Guard: What are you talking about? I've been working here for two years!
Sam: Prove it.
Guard: Prove it? Uh, okay. Well, the key code to the back doors, it--hey! Wait a minute! You're trying to trick me! You're the one who's not supposed to be here!
Sam: Alright, you caught me, I surrender. Oh wait! Instead, how about you tell me the keycode anyway and I won't be forced to hurt you?
Guard: Since you put it that way: the code is 3901
[When interrogated again]
Guard: You almost tricked me, but I'm too smart.
Guard: I'm not afraid of you. [Sam puts his knife closer to the guard's throat] Okay! I'm afraid! I am!

Sam: Is that where I'm going next?
Lambert: No. Lacerda's side dealings are a whole 'nother can of worms. I'll send someone else down that trail.
Sam: Someone else?
Lambert: Do I detect a bit of jealousy, Sam?
Sam: I'll get over it.

Lambert: Good job, Fisher. Now the whole mission will look like a robbery. They'll never know why we were here.
Sam: Lambert, now that I'm holding fifty million bucks... I think we need to talk about that raise again.
Lambert: Hmmm, 25 cents an hour and not a penny more.
Sam: Deal.

Penthouse

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Fisher: Shh, I'm not going to hurt you.
National Guardsman: Who--who are you? Wait a minute, is this a training exercise?
Fisher: Ugh, damn. [Pretending to speak to superiors] Support! This guy knows it's an exercise, who let the cat out of the bag?
National Guardsman: Ha, I knew it.
Fisher: [To "support"] Roger that. Yeah, okay. [To guard] Gimme a hand here pal, just play along. Name, rank and number.
National Guardsman: Corporal Stan Dunlan, 24-28-9-9-6.
Fisher: And you're not gonna tell me anything else?
National Guardsman: No, sir.
Fisher: Good boy. [To "support"] Alright, want me to move on to the next one? Yeah, roger. Okay, I'll ask. [To guard] Command wants to know how many are on the roof.
National Guardsman: Two on the roof, sir. Two more inbound in a chopper.
Fisher: Thanks. Dismissed.
[If interrogated again]
National Guardsman: Well, am I dismissed or not? Sir?
National Guardsman: Wait a minute, this isn't a training exercise! Who are you?

Sam: Pick a number between... one and ten.
Displace mercenary: Oh, crap! Uhhh, three!
Sam: Lucky guess. You get to live. Now tell me something useful or we'll play another round.

Sam: What are you doing out here all by yourself?
Guard: Guarding the roof.
Sam: From what?
Guard: Let me go and I'll show you!
Sam: Feisty one. How about I cut your ear off, see how tough you are then?
Guard: Go ahead. I have two.
Sam: How many men do you have out here?
Guard: I'm alone on this roof.
Sam: Alone, huh? Lousy way to die.
Guard: We all die alone.

Displace

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Guard 1: Hey! Marco asked me to ask you when you'd be finished getting the ventilation system running.
Guard 2: I don't know. In a while.
Guard 1: Well, Marco says hurry up. Says the air is getting stale inside.
Guard 2: What the hell do I care what Marco says? I don't even know him.
Guard 1: I'll tell him you said that.
Guard 2: Go ahead.
Guard 1: Boy, are you in trouble.
Guard 2: Whatever.

Guard 1: It's a pretty cushy posting, that's for sure.
Guard 2: But I heard the guy was really annoying.
Guard 1: The guy isn't there anymore, he's out of town.
Guard 2: What, so you're just watching his stuff?
Guard 1: Yeah. Emptying his liquor cabinet and playing video games. He's got the new Prince of Persia!
Guard 2: Yeah? I heard it's awesome.
Guard 1: Gonna be game of the year, man.
Guard 2: Can't wait to play it.

Sam: This wireless stuff makes life a lot easier.
Grim: Yup. Welcome to the wi-fi era.
Sam: Remember, you're saying that to a guy from the era of hi-fi.
Grim: Hi-fi? As in like, high in fiber?
Sam: Ugh... Don't put me in adult undergarments yet, kid.

Anna: Uh, sorry to interrupt, but--
Sam: I see it.
Anna: Power's coming back on--
Sam: I see it, Grim.
Anna: You got company. You might wanna--
Sam: I see it!

Sam: Gotcha!
Guard: Hey, you're not supposed to be here!
Sam: Tell me something useful and I'll leave.
Guard: Forget it, I won't tell you anything!
Sam: Are you crazy? We're on the 60th floor.
Guard: What do you mean?
Sam: You know it's not true that you go unconscious before you hit the ground. You see it coming the whole way.
Guard: You wouldn't!
Sam: You want to convince me not to?

Sam: Nice suit. Italian?
Civilian: Oh no! Uh, Italian... yes... the Florentine's silk. Andretti.
Sam: Who's Andretti?
Civilian: Andretti. The famous designer. Men's suits, tuxedos...
Sam: I'm not a tuxedo kind of guy.
Civilian: But-but you are some kind of spy.
Sam: Yeah, I'm the real kind. Not the tuxedo kind. I'm the kind of spy who gets blood all over your Andretti unless you give me information!
Civilian: Oh god! Please, don't ruin my suit!
[If interrogated again]
Civilian: You're ripping the fabric, please!
Civilian: My wife will kill me if I ruin this suit!

Lambert: Hokkaido.
Sam: Hokkaido? Isn't that basically the Alaska of Japan?

Hokkaido

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Sam: Talk, but talk quietly.
Guard: I'll tell you anything; I'm the biggest coward you've ever met.
Sam: That's quite the claim.
Guard: I've already wet myself.
Sam: Wow, then you've made the top ten.
[When interrogated again]
Guard: I'm so ashamed; I'm such a coward. You should kill me anyways; I don't deserve to live.

Sam: Nice wheels.
Guard: Oh, crap!
Sam: Think the trunk is big enough for a body?
Guard: Oh god! I'm not sure.
Sam: Tell me where Nedich is or we'll find out.

Redding: The Bosnian barber.
Sam: I already have a barber, but I think he's Italian. That place next to the donut shop?

Guard 1: Aw! This squeaking is driving me crazy! Sounds like I'm walking on a family of parakeets.
Guard 2: Nightingales. It's called a 'nightingale floor', protection against ninjas.
Guard 1: Ninjas? There's no such thing as ninjas!
Guard 2: Oh yeah? Back in 2004, that thing in Georgia; I got a contract to help secure this oil rig. We got attacked by a ninja.
Guard 1: You're crazy.
Guard 2: What, you don't believe me? Fine, why don't we switch places and I'll patrol where the anti-ninja flooring is?
Guard 1: Alright, I'll go guard your post.
Guard 2: Deal.
Guard 1: Haha, watch out for ninjas! Sucker.
Guard 2: They're listening.

Sam: Bad news.
Guard: I knew it! I knew there were ninjas here!
Sam: What?
Guard: Yeah, you must be a ninja. How else could you sneak up and grab me like that?
Sam: Listen, I don't know what--
Guard: Wow! I can't believe it! A real life ninja!
Sam: Listen, I'm gonna kill you if--
Guard: Wow!! Killed by a ninja! Cool!
[If interrogated again]
Guard: If you have to kill me... do it with your blowpipe.
Guard: Do you have any, tetsu-bishi?

Guard 1: You find any bugs?
Guard 2: Yeah, they're everywhere. I can't get rid of 'em. It's like a damn insectarium here.
Guard 1: I mean microphones, stupid.
Guard 2: Oh. Well, I looked a bit, but I didn't find any.
Guard 1: A bit? What does that mean? Where did you look?
Guard 2: Um, like uh, on the tables and stuff.
Guard 1: You looked on the table? For microphones?
Guard 2: Yeah...
Guard 1: Gee, did you find any?
Guard 2: Uhhhh, no...
Guard 1: Ugh, never mind. I'll look for them myself.
Guard 2: Okay. Well, let me know if you need any help.

Grim: That's the last microphone, Fisher. Otomo will be happy.
Sam: Otomo doesn't seem like the happy type.
Grim: Ah, it's just the old samurai-zenshin. He's really nice in person.
Sam: Hmm, I've heard people say the same thing about Lambert.
Grim: What does that mean? Lambert's nice.
Sam: How many of his ex-wives have you spoken to?

Battery

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North Korean soldier 1: Hey, Feng. You said there were eight crates in the delivery, but I only see seven.
North Korean soldier 2: What do you mean, 'seven'?
North Korean soldier 1: As in one less than eight!
North Korean soldier 2: Well the bill of lading said there were eight.
North Korean soldier 1: Did you count?
North Korean soldier 2: Uh, well, not exactly.
North Korean soldier 1: Not exactly? It's just not too hard to count eight giant crates.

Fisher: Tell me something useful and I won't stuff your corpse inside one of these crates.
North Korean soldier: The door code to get to the office is 1879.
Fisher: What? That's it? No resistance? No whining?
North Korean soldier: You're the one with the knife.
Fisher: Alright! Well thanks for your time then.
[When interrogated again]
North Korean soldier: Let me give you my wallet, too.

Fisher: Working late?
North Korean soldier: Oh my god! An American commando!
Fisher: Shh!
North Korean soldier: Please! Don't kill me! I love America! I love USA!
Fisher: Quiet!
North Korean soldier: I love Britney, she's the best! Go Yankees!
Fisher: Hey! Calm down!
North Korean soldier: Chocolate ice cream! Yeah! Ice cream! Hamburgers! Hmmm!
Fisher: Listen, I--
North Korean soldier: Nice home in suburbs! Freedom and democracy!
Fisher: Shut up and--
North Korean soldier: Born to be wild! Born to be free! Born in the USA!
Fisher: Oh, forget it..
North Korean soldier: Take me out to the ball game! Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light!

Lambert: I see what you're thinking, Fisher.
Fisher: If they're just going to throw protocol to the wind, and leave the warhead case unlocked...
Lambert: Even detonating them won't destroy the battery.
Fisher: No, but it will make an awful big mess.
[after arming both missiles]
Lambert: Good job, Fisher.
Fisher: I'm uploading the arming sequence codes for Grim. Lambert, if worst comes to worst, and I'm still here...
Lambert: You don't even need to say it, Sam.

Fisher: Don't bother with the "Who are you?" crap. We're too old for children's games.
North Korean colonel: Fine. What do you want, American?
Fisher: This battery is on the logistics train down Kaesong-Munsan, what's the divisional strength?
North Korean colonel: Why should I tell you? You'll kill me anyway.
Fisher: It's a game of position, colonel, and you've already lost. Do you need to condemn 50,000 men as well?

Fisher: What's in all the boxes?
North Korean soldier: My god! No!
Fisher: Yeah, yeah: Shock and awe. Just answer the question.

North Korean soldier: Ple-please! I am a coward!
Fisher: That's apparent. Tell me something interesting and you have NOTHING to be afraid of.

Sam: You know any Elvis?
North Korean soldier: Wha.. how did you get in here?
Sam: You're spoiling the mood, I'm not here for chit-chat.
North Korean soldier: Oh, shut up!
Sam: Anything of interest in here?
North Korean soldier: We keep a repair log on the computer over there.
Sam: I like repair logs.

Fisher: Dont panic.
North Korean soldier: I...
Fisher: You're well trained.
North Korean soldier: I am a loyal soldier of the North Korean army.
Fisher: Congratulations. Give me some intelligence or you'll be pushing up daisies in a cemetery full of guys just like you.
North Korean soldier: I don't have any intelligence.
Fisher: Heh, you just called yourself stupid.
North Korean soldier: I am not stupid, I am loyal.
Fisher: Boy, you're worse than a washed out Jarhead.
North Korean soldier: Do not compare me to a cowardly American Marine!
Fisher: Tell me something useful or we're finished here.
North Korean soldier: Death before dishonor.
Fisher: Boy... You grunts, you're are all the same.

Anna: Before you can tap into the BIOS you'll need to open the casing.
Sam: I didn't bring my crowbar.
Anna: Whatever. Crowbars are for geeky video game characters.

Sam: I heard there's a launch in progress.
Guard: Oh... god!
Sam: I don't have time for you to freak out, where's the missile being launched from?
Guard: The east battery. But you better hurry.

Anna: Hurry! The missile is closing in on the USS Ronald Reagan at top speed!
Sam: Uh, hold on... Did you just tell me I need to win one for the Gipper?
Anna: Uh, dude, what does that even mean?
Sam: Ugh, never mind. You're right, Grim. I am old.

Seoul 1

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Lambert: Good thinking, Fisher. Shut down those propaganda broadcasts and our boys will be in better spirits.
Fisher: Our boys? I'm just doing it because it's annoying.

Fisher: I've got someone who wants to talk to you.
Agent1: Roger. Ask him where they took Jong.
Fisher: Where did you take Jong?
Guard: I don't know what you're talking about.
Fisher: He's not answering, should I kill him?
Agent1: Negative! Negative!
Fisher: Alright, they say I should kill you so...
Guard: Wait! Ok! Jong...

Lambert: Way to go, Fisher. That's the last of their propaganda stations in your area.
Fisher: Thank god. I was starting to lose my mind.

North Korean soldier 1: Here. We were here, and we crossed the line to the south, here. That puts us in--
North Korean soldier 2: I know where we are! I was looking at the map while you were driving.
North Korean soldier 1: Well, you were not looking very closely, were you?
North Korean soldier 2: Look, fine. You think you know where we are? You navigate. I'm going to take a leak.
North Korean soldier 1: Don't get lost.
North Korean soldier 2: Shut it.

Fisher: You mind telling me what's going on, Lambert?
Lambert: Sorry, Fisher. You're getting too old for this kind of work.
Fisher: Stop listening to Grim. If you go by her definition of old you'd need to issue diapers with every set of goggles.
Lambert: If I listen to you much longer it'll be adult undergarments.
Fisher: That was cruel.

Seoul 2

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North Korean soldier: I'm not afraid of pain!
Fisher: Maybe you haven't been properly introduced.
North Korean soldier: Ahhh! My wrist! Argh, ahhh! Alright, alright!
Fisher: Tell me something interesting.
North Korean soldier: I'm just supposed to make sure the roof is clear while the guys on top set up the P3R.
Fisher: You're not doing a very good job.
North Korean soldier: You're right. Why don't you let me go back to work?

North Korean soldier 1: I thought you said we'll be safe up here.
North Korean soldier 2: We are safe up here.
North Korean soldier 1: What? A bomb just hit the building.
North Korean soldier 2: Oh that! Well, we are not safe from bombs.
North Korean soldier 1: What are we safe from then?
North Korean soldier 2: Infantry. Listen, bombs don't want to kill you. Its purely statistical. But there is nothing in the world more dangerous than an infantry man with a rifle. I'd rather take my chances with the bombs.
North Korean soldier 1: You're scaring the crap outta me.

North Korean soldier 1: [After finding a bomb that crashed through the roof] Uh... Sing?
North Korean soldier 2: Yeah, what is--aah!
North Korean soldier 1: I found out what that beeping sound was.
North Korean soldier 2: Is it a dud?
North Korean soldier 1: I don't know...
North Korean soldier 2: Check it!
North Korean soldier 1: You check it.
North Korean soldier 2: Okay...
North Korean soldier 1: Easy...
North Korean soldier 2: Take cover!
North Korean soldier 1: I want my mommy...
North Korean soldier 2: We're still alive.
North Korean soldier 1: Easy...
North Korean soldier 2: Look, let's just take that patrol data into the UAV and get out of here before it DOES go off!
North Korean soldier 1: Good idea.

Redding: Way to go, Sam. With those P3Rs out of commission, it'll be a lot safer to extract you.
Fisher: Wow, you mean you're actually planning to get me out of here alive one day?

Lambert: The plane is too badly damaged to recover the data. You'll need to fall back and designate the target for an air-strike. Use the structure down the street for your platform.
Fisher: Let me get the pilots to safety first.
Lambert: We don't have a lot of time, Sam. An NKA recovery team is en route.
Fisher: Are you ordering me to leave these guys here and call in an air-strike?
Lambert: I'm telling you what the objective IS. I'm trusting you to complete it. You have your orders.
Lambert: [If the player grabs a pilot and carries him away anyway] Fisher! If you compromise the mission for those men--
Fisher: Save it, Irving. You gave me my orders already.
Lambert: [If the player grabs the second pilot] Sam, you need to designate the--
Fisher: No point in rescuing one and leaving the other.
Lambert: You don't even exist, Fisher. You can't get a medal for this.
Fisher: Medals don't help me sleep at night, Lambert.
Lambert: [After saving both pilots] Alright, the pilots are safe. Now take out that plane.
Fisher: With pleasure.

Fisher: [If the player designates the plane without saving the pilots] God forgive me...

Bathhouse

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Displace mercenary 1: Is the upstairs secure?
Displace mercenary 2: Yeah, how about the front?
Displace mercenary 1: It's tight. A truck is blocking the alley, and I sent the guys unloading it for a coffee break.
Displace mercenary 2: Which guys?
Displace mercenary 1: Just some guys; worker guys.
Displace mercenary 2: What? You just said, "Hey, why don't you guys take a break", and they did?
Displace mercenary 1: Well, I gave them a hundred thousand yen.

Fisher: What are you doing here?
Bathhouse patron: What are YOU doing here??
Fisher: Are you stupid? I have a knife to your throat.
Bathhouse patron: My skin is impenetrable to steel! I am fearless! I am Red Nishin!
Fisher: What, you're a member of Red Nishin?
Bathhouse patron: No-one here would DARE harm me! They would see everyone they've ever known slowly tortured to death before meeting the same fate!
Fisher: Okay, fine. Just tell me one thing: what does Red Nishin mean?
Bathhouse patron: Nishin.. it's a kind of fish. A small silvery fish. Very tasty when pickled.
Fisher: You mean a herring?
Bathhouse patron: Yes! YES! That's it! That's the word! Red herring!
[When interrogated again]
Bathhouse patron: I am fearless and INDESTRUCTIBLE!
Bathhouse patron: I can breathe fire, and walk through walls!

Fisher:: Quiet. Tell me something about the owner.
Civilian: The owner?
Fisher:: Yeah. I hear rumors that he's Red Nishin.
Civilian: If he is, and I talk, what do you think will happen to me?
Fisher:: I don't know, why don't you tell me?
Civilian: He'll kill me if he finds out!
Fisher:: So basically you're saying he is Red Nishin?
Civilian: I never said anything!

Displace mercenary: Kill me if you want, but please don't whip me with a towel. You can take my eye out!

Tetsuo: Kaneda!
Kaneda: Tetsuo!

Shetland: This is pointless, Sam. You won't know what to do if you catch me, why bother chasing?

Shetland: [While the player is defusing the first bomb] Mason and Lambert have you wrapped around their fingers, Fisher. You're no more to them than any other weapon.
Shetland: [While the player is defusing the second bomb] You've made yourself the instrument of a policy you don't believe in, Sam. Walk away.
Shetland: [While the player is defusing the final bomb] Blood is thicker than water and you and I have bled a lot together. You're trading your honor for their agenda.

Shetland: It doesn’t have to end like this, Sam.
Fisher: No, but it does have to end.
Shetland: On that we agree. We’ve been fighting their dirty little wars our entire lives and where do we end up? Staring at each other down the barrels of our guns. Nothing has changed, Fisher, and it won’t change by degrees. We have to tear it down, and start over, it’s the only way.
Fisher: Your own little chaos theory, throw the world into war and hope that what comes out the other side is better?
Shetland: It will be better, because this war will change things, Sam. Every other war has been about keeping things the same, but the status quo doesn’t work anymore. America is sick Sam, she’s dying. Politicians, the bureaucrats, the whispered backroom deals, it's all life support for a sick old lady who was dead a long time ago.
Fisher: The only backroom deals I’ve seen lately were made by you. You’re a murderer, and a war criminal.
Shetland: Those are the only names the state has for the revolutionaries Sam. You only become a hero after the war is over. You know the truth; the world is built from the bottom up, not the other way around. Honour, courage, fidelity; we don’t inherit these things from the world, Sam, we build the world from them. I know you, you believe in these things more than any government, and I know because of it, you wouldn’t shoot an old friend.
Fisher: [Fisher stabs Shetland] You’re right Doug, I wouldn’t shoot an old friend.

Kokubo Sosho

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Fisher: Excuse me, I need directions.
JGSDF soldier: Wha..? Okay.
Fisher: I'm the good guy who's here to save the world.
JGSDF soldier: I thought I was the good guy.
Fisher: No, no. You're on the team with the super secret underground base. I'm the guy breaking into the base; that makes me the good guy. Now, tell me how I get in.

Fisher: Nice toy. What kind of ammo does it use?
JGSDF soldier: How about you let me go and I'll show you?
Fisher: Don't get smart.
JGSDF soldier: Okay. It's some sort of shock round. Electric.
Fisher: Interesting. You have any extra?
JGSDF soldier: It's not like you can shake me, and make my ammo fall on the floor to pick up.
Fisher: You're awfully flippant for someone who has a knife to his throat.

JGSDF soldier 1: Working late?
JGSDF soldier 2: Working? Are you kidding? This job is a joke.
JGSDF soldier 1: What are you talking about? We are here to defend--
JGSDF soldier 2: Defend the Kokubo Sosho? Right. That's like defending the CIA building or something.
JGSDF soldier 1: What do you mean?
JGSDF soldier 2: Well, it's not like anybody would be crazy enough to bust in here. This is the easiest job in the world.

Fisher: Stay still and you won't get hurt.
JGSDF soldier: Okay.
Fisher: I need to get to the ISDF command center.
JGSDF soldier: The elevator just outside of here. You can't miss it.
Fisher: Wanna come with me? I'd like a guide.
JGSDF soldier: You crazy? They have elite troops down there; a lot scarier than you.

Japanese Minister: Admiral, what is the meaning of this?
Otomo: You will repeal the postwar constitution, you will order the immediate remilitarization of Japan, and return control of our nation to the order of the emperor! The United States will support this act politically and will care to...release themselves from further financial and military obligations, thereby concluding our relationship in Asia.
Japanese Minister: This is impossible! Even if we repeal the constitution, the emperor would never...
Otomo: The emperor will do what the military tells him! I am not an unreasonable man, these efforts will take time. I have faith in your honor and prudence, so I give you 96 hours.
Japanese Minister: Ninety-six? The people will never allow it!
Otomo: If in four days, these demands are not met, I will initiate the launch of a North Korean ballistic missile and sacrifice a Japanese city of my choosing. Regrettably, this will kill millions, but it will steer the will of the people if your appeals cannot! For the sake of your honor and for the sake of Japan, I plead with you, do not force my hand in this matter!
[After Sam records audio from the computer]
Japanese Minister: Admiral, we...
Otomo: Fool! You waste your time to steal like a dog! If you are unable to act honorably, then I will force you to act! You will not be able to deny the demands of the people after North Korea destroys one of our cities! You will know which one when it is annihilated!

Fisher: Tell me how to get into Otomo's office.
I-SDF Soldier: Never!
Fisher: I have orders to take him alive but it's a different story for you.
I-SDF Soldier: Please! No!
Fisher: You're getting closer and closer to dead.
I-SDF Soldier: Under the floors. I think there's a way. But Otomo will never surrender.
Fisher: We'll see about that.

Otomo: What have you done, American?
Fisher: Give it up, Admiral, it's over.
Otomo: Hmph! You think that I will surrender to you? You think that I will allow your people to strip me of my dignity, throw me in chains? No, I think not. My people have endured your "charming" oppression for more than 60 years!
Fisher: You say, "tomato..."
Otomo: Americans...always turning to their jokes when their hearts are full of fear, and you should be afraid! I may be defeated but I am a man, and ideas are stronger than men! You may even prevent this war, American, but the dragon has awoken, and he will not be so easily sedated this time. [Otomo stabs himself]

Lambert: You're going to have to blast your way out.
Fisher: We're over a hundred feet under water!
Lambert: You're not pressurized, Fisher. It will be a shock, but you won't get the bends.
Fisher: Next time you're going on the mission and I'm coming up with the crazy plan!

See also

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Wikipedia