2009 film by Jac Schaeffer
TiMER is a 2009 film about what life is like in the near future when everyone can find their soulmate by getting a TiMER, a device that counts down until the day you meet them.
- Oh my God tell me what you did or I'm gonna pee on your bed!
- It's a fucking Greek tragedy up in here.
- See that's what's stupid about the TiMERs it says you have one path and you can't take detours. Life is about detours.
- Don't worry the guys will be at the bar for a few more hours. You know taking turns with our groupie.
- Grady if I'm a pussy I'm about to have the best lesbian sex of my entire life!
- Espero que algún día te unas a dejar que me hacen feliz.
- Matchmaker Patty: (After implanting TiMER that shows they're not a match) Awkward.
- Oona: You ready?
- Brian: Uhh, yeah, umm...about this.
- Oona: Brian, you like me right?
- Brian: Yes, definitely.
- Oona: But what's the point in continuing without a guarantee?
- Oona: Hey what time do you get off?
- Mikey: What?
- Oona: Do you want me to repeat it?
- Mikey: Yes into the loudspeaker if you don't mind.
- Oona: I don't wanna know how old you are.
- Mikey: Ok. How old are you?
- Oona: I turn 30 this January.
- Mikey: Whoa.
- Oona: Maybe this was a bad idea.
- Mikey: No. No, no no no no, it's a really good idea. It's up there with gravity, cold fusion, or what have you.
- Dutch: In the service we had a name for people like that.
- Steph: Pricks?
- Dutch: Cocksuckers.
- Steph: Even better. How's it hanging Dutch?
- Dutch: Down to my knees angel. You keep your head up.
- Oona: What are you doing here?
- Mikey: I wanted to see you again.
- Oona: ...Why?
- Mikey: (silence)
- Oona: You make a strong case.
- Steph: Are you naked?
- Oona: What! No! I'm wearing a robe.
- Steph: But you are naked underneath. You don't sleep naked.
- Oona: Sometimes I do.
- Steph: No, you don't. You think it makes rapists job easier.
- Emma Caulfield — Oona
- Michelle Borth — Steph
- John Patrick Amedori — Mikey
- Desmond Harrington — Dan the Man
- JoBeth Williams — Marion
- Bianca Brockl — Soledad
- Cristina Cimellaro — Host
- Mark Harelik — Dr. Serious
- Scott Holroyd — Brian
- John Ingle — Dutch
- Tom Irwin — Paul
- Christine Joaquin — Cindy
- Eric Jungmann — Manager Larry
- Celene Lee — Tammi
- Hayden McFarland — Jesse
- Nicki Norris — Delphine
- Alan Rice — Dude
- Kali Rocha — Matchmaker Patty
- Ho-Kwan Tse — Scientist
- Katherine Von Till — Local News Anchor
- Muse Watson — Rick
- Devin Williamson — Brother
- Christopher T. Wood — News Anchor
- Susan Ziegler — Detractor (uncredited)