The Witcher (video game)

The Witcher (Polish: Wiedźmin) is a 2007 action role-playing game developed by CD Projekt Red for Microsoft Windows and CD Projekt on OS X. It was based on the fantasy novel series The Witcher by Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski. The game's story takes place after the events of the main saga.

Either leave on your feet or die on your back.

Quotes

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  • Power, sex. Sex, power. They both come down to one thing — fucking others.
    • Geralt of Rivia
  • Have you turned stupid, soldier? Either leave on your feet or die on your back.
    • Geralt of Rivia
  • That sword... is for monsters. [Geralt, disarmed of his steel sword, stabs Jacques to death with his silver sword]
    • Jacques de Aldersberg
  • The White Frost has stripped humanity of its luxurious robes. All that's left are beasts that think only of eating and procreating.
    • Abigail
  • Sorry, I got lost in thought.
    • Kalkstein
  • Geralt, I was looking for you. I had no idea Nurse Natalia was such a wellspring of passion. You've ever seen her leaning over her patients? Those eyes!
    • Dandelion
  • You've changed for the worse. Thanks for darkening my day.
    • Dandelion
  • Admirable fight, but duty calls us to the Trade Quarter. Contrary to popular opinion, chaos and terror do not spread on their own.
    • Professor
  • Mistakes, witcher- they can be deadly. Give my greetings to that young companion of yours. And now, have a nice time dying.
    • Professor
  • A heavily armed unit will kill all wounded in the hospital and make that red-headed bitch watch. After they rape her, she will wish to die, but it will be far too late. We'll give her mutagens and see what happens. What say you, witcher? Still the indifferent tough guy?
    • Azar Javed
  • Don't make me laugh, Geralt. Simplicity suits you like a fist in the nose and sentimentality suits you even less. You can't deny that. You're too smart. Besides, who do you want to defend? Foltest? A monarch with more sins on his conscience than the Professor has long words in his vocabulary?
    • Azar Javed
  • You're in deep shit.
    • Azar Javed
  • Do not deny it, witcher. You are my greatest champion. A perfect means of destruction. Wherever you walk, death and chaos follow. Now, as was years ago, accept it. Do not fight it. Give up to me yet another man you destroyed.
    • King of the Wild Hunt
  • I heard heavy footsteps on the stairs. Then Triss got angry at those men. Angrier than she was when I colored her dress with the magic paint that is only seen in the dark.
    • Alvin
  • Do you have any idea of what you've done? You've sold out the city for a redhead! Get out of here before I turn you into the pig you are!
    • Triss Merigold
  • Since the beginning of time, woman has been the nest of all evil! The Tool of Chaos, party to the conspiracy against the world and the human race! Woman is ruled solely by corporal lust! To satisfy her insatiable anger and unnatural desires, she gladly serves demons!
    • Reverend
  • You mock destiny. You mock it and trifle with it. Destiny is a double-edged sword. You are one edge and the other is death? No, it's we who die- because of you. Unable to catch you, death contents itself with us. Death stalks you, following in your footsteps, White Wolf. But others die. Because of you.
    • Leo [to Geralt]
  • Bloede arse. He got me.
    • Yaevinn
  • I'm an abso-fucking-lutely amazing poker player.
    • Thaler
  • Die, shite-eater!
    • Salamandra warrior
  • You mother sucks dwarf's cock!
    • Drunkard

Dialogue

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Jacques de Aldersberg: Many of the gifted foresaw the White Frost. Global cooling is this world's destiny.
Geralt of Rivia: Why fight it then?
Jacques de Aldersberg: You always believed man makes his own destiny. I seek to change all humanity's fate.
Geralt of Rivia: You robbed humanity of its right to decide. You understand nothing.

Abigail: What about your sword? I heard witchers carry two — a silver blade for monsters and steel for humans...
Geralt of Rivia: Both are for monsters.

Geralt of Rivia: [of Adda] That spoiled little vixen... well, she wants some catoblepas. Rare would be best.
Triss Merigold: Are you kidding?
Geralt of Rivia: No. Triss, could you conjure up something, please.
Triss Merigold: Sorcery at parties is considered very unseemly...
Geralt of Rivia: I'll create a distraction.
Triss Merigold: I'll do better myself. [casts spell]
Catoblepas steak, rare, for the Princess.
Geralt of Rivia: Thank you, Triss.
Triss Merigold: You know I can conjure up orgasms, too?
Geralt of Rivia: I think I prefer traditional methods.

Azar Javed: I warned you. Pissing upwind leads to disaster.
Geralt of Rivia: You talk too much. Scared?
Azar Javed: This time you pissed in a tornado.

Professor: [summoned by Javed] I come at your command, master. I listen and obey, as a genie would.
Azar Javed: Professor, cut the crap and get him.
Professor: [to Geralt] You see, witcher? Too much water around for Azar to feel comfortable. Fire mages... limited. He needs me to do the wet work.
Geralt of Rivia: Good. Two worms with one stone.

King of the Wild Hunt: You want to fight me? So be it. Your flight from death ends here. Draw your sword.
Geralt of Rivia: I was afraid you'd suggest chess.
Cf. The Seventh Seal (1957 film)

Professor: I hear witchers can parry bolts in flight.
[Geralt draws his sword; Leo tries to sneak behind the Professor]
Professor: Let's see.
Geralt of Rivia: Leo, stop!
[the Professor shoots a crossbow bolt at Leo]
Professor: Ah. Another fairy tale.

Geralt of Rivia: I do understand your sorrow. Your solitude. If I can do anything...
Lady of the Lake: Cease treating me like a Goddess, I have enough worshippers. I lack one who sees me as other than the object of a cult.
Geralt of Rivia: Milady, simple folk... they don't understand.
Lady of the Lake: I judge them not. But let's return to your desire to help. Begin by paying me a compliment.
Geralt of Rivia: Hmmm, I'm no good at this. Milady... ehm... your... wisdom is... inferior only to your goodness.
Lady of the Lake: Enough. I choose not to believe you don't find me attractive, rather... I blame your famous scruples.
Geralt of Rivia: M'lady, your... eyes are like stars glimmering in the night sky.
Lady of the Lake: Distant and cold. Weak, witcher.
Geralt of Rivia: Your ass puts others to shame.
Lady of the Lake: [laughing] None has ever paid me such a compliment! My brave knights only praised my soul, though I knew where their eyes fixated!

Zahin Schmartz: Greetings.
Geralt of Rivia: Greetings, dwarf.
Zahin Schmartz: No pain in yer teeth? Schmartz, Zahin, dentist.
Geralt of Rivia: Geralt of Rivia, witcher, immune to cavities.

Zoltan Chivay: You hungry?
Geralt of Rivia: [drunk] A little.
Zoltan Chivay: We've bread, but we shouldn't eat plain bread.
Dandelion: Zoltan's right. We need some lard.
Zoltan Chivay: That mummy downstairs must have a full larder...
Geralt of Rivia: You're joking!
Dandelion: That mummy must have some lard, maybe pickles, too.
Geralt of Rivia: Shani?
Shani: Just don't get caught, Geralt. I'll pay for them tomorrow.
Geralt of Rivia: Wait a second. Why me?
Zoltan Chivay: Dwarves are no masters of stealth, Shani wouldn't sneak about and Dandelion, well, he'd mess up.

Dandelion: [asking for Grandma's diary] Show me. I wonder what granny did when she was younger... bet she was a real player.
Geralt of Rivia: One track mind.
Shani: [reading the diary] Dandelion's right! Five lovers in the first few pages.
Carmen: Still water runs deep...

Geralt of Rivia: I'd best start at the beginning. What's your connection to Salamandra?
Berengar: What the hell... it's a simple story. They found me some time ago and the Professor made me an offer I couldn't refuse. You know the kind- help us or we'll feed you your balls.

Hairy Bear Innkeeper: Who's there?
Waitress: Just a witcher.
Geralt of Rivia: Just?

Jacques de Aldersberg: Like you, I tried to hide my otherness. To use my powers to redeem my sin.
Geralt of Rivia: What sin?
Jacques de Aldersberg: The worst of all. My otherness.

Alvin: Shani screamed at the man in glasses. He told her she liked freaks and he'd show her what a real man was.
Geralt of Rivia: Mmhh...
Alvin: Shani cussed him and kicked him in the...
Geralt of Rivia: Right... did they hurt her?
Alvin: No. The man in glasses started crying and the others were afraid to get close to her while she called them bad names.

Abigail: [on Alvin] With winter approaching, if I grow hungry, I'll eat him. [laughs]
Abigail: Doubtless the villagers think so, believing me a monster.
Geralt of Rivia: Are you one, Abigail?
Abigail: We all hide a monster inside us.

Yaevinn: Look into my eyes, dh'oine, and you will see your death.
Geralt of Rivia: I see a blind fanatic about to perish.
Yaevinn: Silence, traitor. You've delivered death too often. Retribution awaits.
Geralt of Rivia: You might be able to brainwash young elves with your slogans, but they don't impress me, nor did they impress those you murdered.
Yaevinn: I was wrong about you. You're a blind, rabid dog biting anything that moves. Someone needs to finish you off.

Alvin: You look like the Reverend returning from the cellar.
Geralt of Rivia: Alvin...
Alvin: You won't hit me, will you?

Adam: [reciting his poetry] Ahem. Your hands fine and slender, your hips big and tender, all night and day, spin my head a painful way...
Geralt of Rivia: [appalled] Enough. Speak no more...

Jacques de Aldersberg: Only a grand plan pursued without hesitation could save humanity from what I saw in my visions.
Geralt of Rivia: You trust your daydreams that much?
Jacques de Aldersberg: I never asked for these visions, this gift.
Geralt of Rivia: But you chose how to use it.
Jacques de Aldersberg: Many times you insisted special gifts should be used for just causes. I chose the most just of causes- saving millions of lives.
Geralt of Rivia: And pursued it by ending hundred of others.

Jacques de Aldersberg: Many of the gifted foresaw the White Frost. Global cooling is this world's destiny.
Geralt of Rivia: Why fight it then?
Jacques de Aldersberg: You always believed man makes his own destiny. I seek to change all humanity's fate.
Geralt of Rivia: You robbed humanity of its right to decide. You understand nothing.

Shani: Geralt, are you about to vomit?
Geralt of Rivia: I never puke after vodka.

Yaevinn: The order reveals its true face.
Geralt of Rivia: Under their shining armor, it's all rot.

Siegfried of Denesle: You were wrong to cross me.
Geralt of Rivia: You're the one who's wrong.
Siegfried of Denesle: Stop barking, wolf, and draw your sword.
Geralt of Rivia: Do you enjoy working for a madman? Do you murder for pleasure or simply to follow orders?
Siegfried of Denesle: I need not to listen to you. You're not even human.

Dandelion: Then bold Foltest uttered these words: "Virtous Radovid..."
Geralt of Rivia: What the hell is that?
Dandelion: I'm trying to keep a faithful and accurate record of these events.
Geralt of Rivia: He said, "Stop deliberating, son, we need to put out the fire in this whorehouse".
Dandelion: Geralt, you have no sense of poetry. There's the truth of time and the truth of legend.

[Azar has resurrected Rayla as a mutant]
Azar Javed: Greetings, Geralt. Have you met Rayla? A singular transformation gave her the gift of life.
White Rayla: Gerralt...
Geralt of Rivia: A singular transformation? The gift of life? You call that enslaved bag of blood and muscles alive?
Azar Javed: Better than alive... perfect.
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