The Visit (2015 American film)
2015 film by M. Night Shyamalan
- Directed and written by M. Night Shyamalan.
Grandma's Rules: 1. Have a great time. 2. Eat as much as you want. 3. Don't ever leave your room after 9:30 pm. taglines
- [to the camera] I can't sleep. I need Nana's cookies. I'm gonna turn a personal addiction into a positive cinematic moment.
- Any other crazy bitch-ass fucking people here?
- [finds a fly-ridden heap of dirty diapers on a table in the shed] Holy SHIT! Holy Mother of Sarah McLachlan! Nana... what the HELL?
- Would you mind getting inside the oven to clean it?
- I'm gonna get you!
- [when he's caught with a gun] I was just cleaning it.
- We're all dying today, Becca.
- [to Tyler] I never liked you anyway.
- You're blind... you're blind. I am the exposer. I am a seer. I see the veiny, deformed... face of the world.
- Loretta: At the end of high school, I fell in love with a substitute English teacher. It was quite a scandal. Corin didn't start out a bad guy, though. We were together about 10 years and we had two kids. And then he fell in love with someone in a Starbucks, and moved to Palo Alto, California. Kind of severed relations with the three of us. My parents, if I were defending them, which I'm not, had said, back in the day, that he had an "impatient eye."They didn't like him. Week I left, things escalated. My parents cursed at me, which was, like, crazy unusual. And it ended, one afternoon, very badly. I left at 19, haven't spoken to my parents in 15 years. Whatever. That's just the history. Recently, my parents looked me up on the Internet. Asked to meet their grandchildren. Spend a week with them. I looked my parents up, they have a counseling website. People love them. Ironically, they counsel people, which is a hoot. Whatever. I told the kids. They said they wanted to go. I told them I didn't want them to go. They said they were gonna go anyway. They're brats. What can I tell you? And my 15-year-old wants to make a documentary about this.
- Becca: [from off-screen] Wait, wait, wait. Go back. Um, describe the events on the day you left your parents' farm at 19.
- Loretta: I did something I don't choose to tell you. If they choose to tell you, that's their right. Okay? I want to do this for you. Listen, they're good people. Ask them. Can I be done with my part? I still got to get you guys packed.
- Train Conductor: You a film prodigy? You know, I used to be a pretty good actor.
- Becca: Oh, my camera light's blinking!
- Train Conductor: I am disgraced, impeached and baffled here!
- Becca: Battery pack is low!
- Train Conductor: Pierced to the soul with slander's venomed spear!
- Becca: Oh, oh, unfortunately, I'm just going to have to shut the camera off!
- Nana: Why are your pants so low?
- Tyler: I rap.
- Becca: It's a form of modern poetry... if you give him a topic, he'll extemporaneously rhyme on the subject. His stage nom de plume is "T-Diamond Stylus." Go ahead, Nana, give him anything!
- Nana: Is food okay? I like food.
- Becca: Yeah. Of course!
- Nana: How about... pineapple upside-down cake?
- Tyler: Yeah... sure, why not? Okay... mmm-hmm! Okay! Got it. Okay... the girls, they like me, they think I'm sweet like candy! One girl looked at me like I was a Hershey bar! Her name was Angie, and a few tall girls,they just looked at me blankly! So here's the thing you got to understand about me, I got more rhymes than a beehive has bees! So it didn't surprise, confuse or make me say "For heaven's sake", when a Hawaiian girl with a balance disorder said "You remind me of a pineapple upside-down cake"! Ho!
- Tyler: Nothing can scare me!
- Becca: Yeah right!
- Tyler: [sees something scary] AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- Becca: Mom, there's something wrong with Nana and Pop Pop.
- Loretta: They're just OLD!
- Becca: Mom, you need to come and get us right now.
- Loretta: What? What happened?
- Becca: Mom, get in the car and come right now.
- Loretta: Do you know how long that would take by car, Rebecca?
- Becca: Mom, trust me. There's something wrong with Nana and Pop Pop. I'm telling you, you need to come and pick us up tonight.
- Loretta: Becca, you're scaring me. My heart is in my throat.
- Becca: We're okay now. Just come.
- Loretta: Where are they now?
- Becca: Uh, they're out-- they're outside by the chicken coops. They won't see you.
- Loretta: Becca--
- [Tyler pans the camera to show the grandparents outside]
- Becca: They've been acting so strange, Mom. We've been recording them.
- Loretta: Becca, T-T--
- Tyler: I kept telling Becca something was wrong, didn't I?
- Loretta: Becca, Tyler--
- Becca: And Nana walks around at night with a knife. And Pop Pop had a gun in his mouth.
- Loretta: Tyler--
- Becca: I think he was trying to hurt himself.
- Loretta: Becca, Tyler, babies, I need you to listen to me very carefully. Becca, Tyler, just listen to me.
- Becca: We are.
- Loretta: Those aren't your grandparents.
- Becca: What are you talking about, Mom?
- Loretta: Where are Nana and Pop Pop? You've been staying with those people the whole time?
- Grandma's Rules: 1. Have a great time. 2. Eat as much as you want. 3. Don't ever leave your room after 9:30 pm.
- No one loves you like your grandparents.