- I haven't always had friends like you, because I was born...different. Because I didn't fit in, society shunned me. All my life, the world's tried to forget my face, but after tonight, they will never forget my name!
- [Chairface's birthday speech to his fellow villains before his attempt to carve his name into the moon.]
- What good is science if no one gets hurt? [Addressing a Mad Scientist Convention]
- WANNABES! All of you, spitpolishing your prosthetic limbs, und whitewashing your liverspots for this wretched back-patting, smarty-party! The true mad scientist does not make public appearances! He does not wear the ‘hello my name is” badge. He STRIKES from below like a viper! Or on high like a PENNY, dropped from the tallest building aroundt! He has only ze one purpose: do bad things, to good people, MIT SCIENCE!!!!
- You're not mad scientists, you're a bunch of hippies! [The Tick vs. Science]
- And so he says to me, he says, “You want to be a baaaaad guy?!” and I say, “Yeah, baby! I want to be bad!” I says, “Surf's up, Space Ponies! I'm making gravy without the lumps!” Ah ha ha ha ha haaaaa!
- And he says to me, he says to me, “You got style, baby! But if you're gonna to be a real villain, you gotta get a gimmick!” And so I go, I says, “Yeah, baby! A gimmick, that's it! High explosives!” Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
- Yeah! Keep playing with fire, superpants! You don't know how much fire you're playing with! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
- So he says to me, “You gotta do something smart, baby! Something big!” He says, “You want to be a super-villain, right?!” And I go, “Yeah, baby, yeah! Yeah! What do I gotta do?!” He says, “You got bombs! Blow up the Comet Club! It's packed with super-heroes! You'll go down in super-villain history!” And I go, “Yeah, baby! 'Cause I'm the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight!” Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
- And so he says to me, “You got legs, baby! You're everywhere! You're all over the place!” Yeah!
- Hi! I just, uh, I just, uh, wanted to use, the, uh, – and so he says, “Evil's okay in my book! What about yours?!” And I go, “Yeah, baby, yeah! Yeah!” – I just wanted to, uh, wash my hands.
- Oh, that's just, uh – Boom, baby, boom! I'm the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight!
- Eat my smoke, copper! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- An object at rest, cannot be stopped!
- Excuse me...excuse me...and then I says, “Tell me I'm wrong!” And he says, “I can't, baby, 'cause you're not!”
- This could happen to you, baby! This could happen to anybody!
- And so he says, “I don't like the cut of your jib!” And I go, I says, “It's the only jib I got, baby!”
- Yeah, baby!
- Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Sixty seconds till midnight! Sixty seconds to nowhere, baby! You have all become victims of the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs...Hey! Pay attention!
- Yeah, baby! And you've only got twenty seconds before you all...eat ceiling!
- Yeah, baby! Oh, yeah!
- You'll never prove a thing, copper, I'm just a part time electrician – Bad is good, baby! Down with government!
- One of these days...Milkshake! Boom!
- You know what I miss? I miss the old days, when I'd think up a sinister scheme for world domination and you'd show a little emotional support.
- Don't mess with me, fool! I'm cooking with gas!
- Merry Christmas! ... Spoon! – Santa Claus, from "The Tick Loves Santa"
- Sorry I haven't been around much lately. I'm easily distracted by shiny objects. – The Tick's Mind from "The Tick vs. The Proto Clown" (To which the Tick responded, "Yeah, shiny objects are nice.")
- "Oh don't worry about Tongue-Tongue he's just tasting you. On the other hand, don't resist, he can crush you quite easily. The tongue is the strongest organ in the human body. I'm Doctor Mung-Mung." – Dr. Mung-Mung
- Release the nice moth man Tongue Tongue; here is an individually wrapped slice of processed cheese. – Dr. Mung Mung from "The Tick vs. Science"
- "IT'S GREAT TO BE ALIVE!!!" – Mr. Excitment's battle cry
- "Where's the jerk who calls himself the TICK?!" – Barry Hubris, the "other" Tick
"I am that jerk!" – The Tick
- "You can't catch me, I'm filled with tinier men!" – The Living Doll (Grandpa Wore Tights)
- "And towards the front of the plane you might be able to make out five people in costumes having a fight with some dining room furniture." – Airplane Pilot as the airplane approaches a fight on a flying carpet from "Evil Sits Down for a Moment"
- "It's okay to play with dolls!" – Baby Bomerangutang's battle cry
- "I'm not a villain. I'm vanilla." – Uncle Creamy