The Secret Saturdays

The Secret Saturdays was an American animated television series created by Jay Stephens. The series follows the adventures of the Saturdays, a family of cryptozoologists that work to keep the truth about cryptids from getting out, in order to protect both the human race and the creatures themselves. The Saturdays travel the Earth searching for cryptids to study and battling twisted villains like the megalomaniac V.V. Argost.

Season 1

Episode 1 - The Kur Stone (Part 1)

Zak: Everybody has secrets. My family just has bigger ones. They're called "cryptids" - all the strange, exotic creatures that regular science doesn't believe in... at least, not yet.

---

Doc: What's going on here?
Zak: Umm... science?

---

Zak: Anywhere there's a secret left to uncover, the Secret Scientists have someone working on it. And the cryptids... that's what we do. Any size, any kind, anywhere in the world - the Saturday family is gonna get the call. So, yeah. Two scientists, their kid, a komodo dragon, and a seven foot gorilla-cat called the Fiskerton Phantom... we're the only ones standing between you and all the things that go bump in the night. That's gotta make you feel safe, huh?

---

[Drew rips the TV off the wall and throws it at Van Rook]
Doc: Why would you throw our TV?!
Drew: I... I just... [Shrugs] I get in the zone...

Episode 2 - The Kur Stone (Part 2)

Drew: No! This is impossible!
Argost: Impossible? Only someone with a tragic lack of imagination would use such a vulgar word. We deal with cryptids, my dear. We live in the world of "impossible".

Episode 4 - The Ice Caverns of Ellef Ringnes

Doc: Where are they?!
Doyle: What, your manhood and self-respect? I think you lost them the last time we fought.

Episode 5 - Guess Who's Going to be Dinner?

Dr. Beeman: You lack discipline... I can smell it on your spikey haircut.

---

Zak: Did we miss something?
Dr. Beeman: Uhh, yeah. You missed your last "don't ask stupid questions" lesson.

Doc: Next anniversary, back to the squid intestines.

Episode 7 - Van Rook's Apprentice

Drew: When have I done anything rash or irresponsible?
Doc: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.

---

Argost: Oh my, conspiring with the enemy. Betrayal! Chicanery! Heavens the drama!

Episode 8 - Twelve Hundred Degrees Fahrenheit

[Doc pushes Doyle out of the airship]
Doc: What? He has a jetpack.

---

Doc: So, you caught up with the crate after you reached terminal velocity? Was this before or after the laws of physics stopped working?
Doyle: Hey, any time you wanna see my terminal velocity, just ask.
Doc: What? That doesn't make any-- even your threats have bad science!
Drew: Okay guys, it was just a story. Let's not turn this into some pointless macho contest.
Doyle: Your mom has bad science.

---

Argost: Know this, boy: When I find Kur, its power will crush yours like a field mouse in the palm of a Bengal tiger!

---

Zak: Every spider I know of shoots webs out of its butt. What does that say about your face?

Episode 9 - The Owlman Feeds at Midnight

[Doc gives Doyle an envelope]
Doyle: What's this?
Doc: Your pay. We won't be needing your services anymore. When we get home, I want you to pack your things.
Zak: What?! But...uh, dad...
Doyle: Okay, look I messed up in the cave.
Doc: You messed up?! How many times did you put Zak's life at risk?!?
Zak: He saved my life a few times, too. Doesn't it balanced out or anything?
Doyle: Zak's fine. I've take chances, that's how I get things done!
Doc: You've acted like a solo mercenary! And on a team, that's dangerous!
Drew: Okay, okay, we all...need a breather here.
[Doyle looks at her sister, and Drew talks to her brother]
Drew: If you need anything, call me but, uh, I don't think you're the best influence on Zak right now.
[Doyle knocks an envelope out of Doc's hand]
Doyle: Keep the money and you can keep my stuff, too. I'm leaving now. See you around, mini man. Keep in touch...family.
[Doyle walks away]

Episode 10 - The Swarm at the Edge of Space

Agent Epsilon: Everyone has a file.

---

Francis: Good guys, bad guys, you always know their next move. Victory goes to the grey men in the middle, because you never know how we'll surprise you.

Episode 12 - Black Monday

Drew Monday: You couldn't have shown up before she started hitting me?
Zak Monday: Could've. But I like watching things get hurt.

Komodo Monday: Are you disturbed yet?

Episode 18 - Once More the Nightmare Factory

Zak: Why does everything cool always try to kill me?!

---

Doc: It's over. We won.
[Drew, Doyle and Zak motion to warn Doc of the giant cryptid behind him]
Doc: No. We won. I'm not turning around and looking at it. We won.

Episode 19 - Curse of the Stolen Tiger

Wadi: [Sarcastically] Yes, I stole the Blue Tiger and I am keeping it inside my pants pocket right now. Say hello to everyone, tiger!

Zak: "I am not in love with Wadi!"

Episode 21 - Food of the Giants

[Telephone rings]
Zak: ...What's that?
[Telephone continues ringing]
Zak: Again, what is that?
Doc: ...It's our land-line.
Zak: We have a non-video phone? Why?

---

Zak: We could've been something, Abbey...
Abbey: No, we couldn't.
Zak: But.. yeah, I know. I mean... I'm just saying... maybe.
Abbey: You're eleven!
Zak: No, but-- but, like, in an alternate universe where I'm ten years older.
Abbey: Okay, maybe.

Doyle: You're eleven? You know to be honest, Fisk was bigger competition."

Season 2

Episode 1 - Kur (Part 1)

• Doc Saturday: Zak...is Kur!!

Rani Nagi: You are Kur. How do you think this happened?
Zak: My parents figure it was the Kur Stone. My mom was pregnant when they dug it up and there was all this weird energy.
Rani Nagi: Yes. Kur would've kept his essence alive in something of his. When unearthed, it sought out another form. Not another cryptid, something more dangerous this time, something to live between the worlds of human and cryptid.
Zak: Wait, so I'm what, half-cryptid?
Rani Nagi: You are all Kur, and your destiny is set. You have already felt a surge in power, yes?
Rani Nagi coils her tail around Zak.
Zak: Let me go!
Zak uses his power.
Rani Nagi: Good. The power wants to be used, it knows its purpose. Any false sympathy for mankind is simply your foolish human parents talking!
Drew: No, this is his parents talking. Get away from my son!

---

Episode 2 - Kur (Part 2)

• V.V. Argost: You wound me, dear boy. Of course I'll be plotting behind your back. I'm going to deceive you, manipulate you and when I've gotten what I want...well....I'll let your imagination conjure up the gruesome finale. Your only hope of survival is that somehow, the things I teach you will be enough for a 12 year-old boy to outwit the world's most dangerous mind, before I render you to pieces like a wolverine with a squeak toy!

Episode 10 - War of the Cryptids

V.V. Argost: I assure you my design will work. I've been very thorough in my testing.
Argost hands Finster a schematic for his mechanical scorpion body.
Baron Finster: And your price, mister?
V.V. Argost: V.V. Argost. And all I ask is a small amount of funding for a dream: my very own television show.
Baron Finster: A television show? Well most of the lunatics who come to me have grand designs to conquer all of humanity. You're aiming low.
V.V. Argost: Have you ever wondered how many millions of reptiles, insects and other delightful monsters there are for every human on this planet? Conquering humanity? A tiny millionth of this world's population? My dear Baron Finster, that would be aiming low.