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The Secret Life of Pets

2016 American animated film by Yarrow Cheney and Chris Renaud

The Secret Life of Pets is a 2016 American 3D computer animated comedy film produced by Illumination Entertainment and released by Universal Pictures. The film is directed by Chris Renaud and Yarrow Cheney, and written by Brian Lynch, Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio.

Ever wonder what your pets do when you're not home? (taglines)

Dialogue

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Blanket: [first lines; narrating] this is me. Yeah, a pampered house cat. But it wasn’t that much. Back before this adventure happened, I was a good cat. Living with my owner. We were not in Japan, But it was still a good home. Much as you can count it good. More like a cat eating at supper of milk. And as you can guess, this is when we found this black cat. On the streets. Over there.
Woman: All right, I’ll be back so you take good care of the house while I’m gone. There is some food if you want some, over there is cat food.
[She closes the door and tape tested a new invention with some abandoned kites and uses them for a roller coaster machine. He guesses to blanket]
Cape: Test out this new invention! It’s made out of kites and I got this tablet. See? (he shows a tablet depicting a man doing how to do and build your own roller coaster kite) Pretty cool, huh?
Blanket: Yeah, yeah, wonderful.
Mack: Any plans today?
Blanket: i’m just gonna lie here and relax. Got a whole busy day ahead of me.
Mack: Oh, that Sounds exciting. Well, I won’t interrupt. You lie in your lit box while I eat some crackers on that perch over there. [sighs]
duck: [Checking on blanket and Mac, after they have fallen into the water and got caught in a net] So, you’re finally weak! Wakey wakey!
Blanket: where are we?
Mack: We’re in a big boat! Saved by a family of geese![sighs happily] If it worked for them, we would’ve been sleeping with the fish.
Mel: But the outside world is loud and scary, whoa! Is that a hawk?!
Gidget: This is my friend, Tiberius. He's going to help us. [Tiberius flies next to Gidget] He's not going to eat us. We've already been over it.
Buddy: Come on, Gidget. We go out there without a leash, we'll get caught by a net... or something worse.
Mel: Yeah, like a hawk!
Gidget: We’re wasting time. Max need us.
Buddy: Come on, girl. Max doesn’t even know you’re alive.
Gidget: Well, I don’t care. I love him! I love him with all of my heart! And I’m gonna go look for Max, no matter who’s with me. So... Who's with me? All right, fine. Fine.
Chloe: Oh, come on, guys. I can't believe you! When I got my claws caught in the curtains, who helped me out? Max did! Buddy, Mel. When you were fixed, who taught you to sit the comfortable way?
Buddy: Max did.
Mel: Max did! He did it!
Chloe: And when that random cat tried to eat Sweet Pea, who saved him?
Buddy: It wasn't a random cat, it was you! [Sweet Pea chirps in agreement]
Chloe: The identity of the random cat is not the point. We're talking about who saved him!
Mel: Max did!
Buddy: We gotta save him! We gotta go save Max!
Norman: [pops out through a floor vent] Yeah! Let's go save Max! Uh, which one is Max again?
Gidget: Tiberius. No, bad bad bird.
Tiberius: [laughs] Nice little guy. Nice little guy.
Norman: I like this bird. Crazy bird. [laughs]
[Tiberius takes Ozone, a Sphinx hairless cat, to the apartment rooftop]
Ozone: [as Tiberius drops him] Ow! Ooh. [licks his paw]
Tiberius: Alright. Show her (something)!
[Ozone coughs up Max's collar like a hairball]
Gidget: [gasps] Max's collar! [to Ozone, as he licks his paw again] Where is he? What happened to him?
Ozone: I ain't saying nothing. [Tiberius grabs him by his neck and dangles him from the side]
Tiberius: You're gonna tell us where Max is. And you're gonna tell us now! [threatens to drop Ozone to the street but he isn't scared]
Ozone: [laughs] Is this supposed to scare me? I’m a cat. I’ll land on my feet.
Tiberius: Does it always happen? Cause you head look like it’s taking lot of landings.
Ozone: Do you want me to catch you? Cause I’ll catch you this way, and let you look like a waffle.
[Tiberius drops Ozone on the apartment rooftop with Gidget]
Tiberius: OK, he's too stupid to talk and too ugly to eat.
Gidget: [screams and tackles Ozone] I'm done playing nice!
Ozone: I–
Gidget: Where is Max?!
Ozone: Whoa! I– I– [gets slapped by Gidget] Ooh!
Gidget: Tell me!
Ozone: What? [Gidget slaps him again] Ooh! I just– I can't– [gets slapped again] Ooh! Let me finish! [gets slapped once more] Ow! What? [to Tiberius] Help me! [gets slapped one more time] Ow!
Gidget: Don't look at him! [slaps him again] Look at me! Nobody can help you! Where is ''MAX?!''
Ozone: OK, OK! He's in the sewers! He got taken! Please have mercy, adorable puffy dog.
Gidget: [gasps]
Buddy Hey, Pops.
Pops: Mud and sweet potatoes.
Buddy: Pops!
Pops: Who's that? What? Oh, hey, buddy.
Buddy: How you've been, old timer?
Pops: Paralyzed!
Gidget: Great! Listen, Mr. Pops. Our friend Max was taken.
Sausage: Come on, boys!
[When entering the sewer]
Buddy: What's that smell?
Pops: It's poo-poo with a dash of ca-ca.
Buddy: Getting a weird vibe, man.
Pops: Now, these guys are a bit testy, so just let me do the talking. Hey, you crybaby! Where's the Viper at?
[the alligator, sobbing, points to the crushed Viper, multiple R.I.P messages are seen]
Snowball: [sobs loudly and shakes the Viper's tail] Don't you worry, Viper! You will not be forgotten! [punches the Viper’s tail, but it falls down] You will be avenged, Viper! [sniffles] And if you don’t believe me, you can look at my battle plans, it’s all laid out right here.
Tattoo: Uh... Boss, I can't tell where anyone is.
Snowball: Well, you gotta really look at to understand it. Like, that’s you guys right here, and, see, that’s Brooklyn. That’s where we’re going get them dogs. [bangs the red marker into the cardboard] Bam! Bam! [cackles evilly]
Pops: That ball of fluff’s got a screw loose. Let’s skadaddle.
Snowball: Bottom line is, I'm coming right for you, Tiny Dog and that big, fat brown dog? He gonna get it, too.
Gidget: [stops in her tracks hearing this] "Tiny Dog"?
Chloe: There are lots of tiny dogs in the city. I mean, you're a tiny dog, okay? So, let's just go.
Buddy: But he also said, "Big, fat brown dog", like Max's new roommate!
Chloe: Not necessarily.
Snowball: Oooh. Max, Max, Max, Max, Max. You are gonna GET IT!
Chloe: [sighs] That's kinda hard to dispute.
Gidget: Hey, stay away from... [Chloe covers her mouth]
Snowball: Wait what? You know Tiny Dog?
Gidget: [shoves Chloe off her] He’s my friend! And some might say my boyfriend!
Buddy: Uh, nobody says that.
Max: Hey, uh, Gidget, wait up.
Gidget: Oh, uh, hi, Max. [her tail starts wagging]
Max: Yeah, uh...
Gidget: [to her tail] Play it cool!
[Her tail stops wagging, and she giggles]
Max: Yeah, I just wanted to, uh... [clears throat] Look. Have you ever lived across from someone your whole life, but you don't really appreciate them until... I don't know, until they're beating up dozens of animals on the Brooklyn Bridge? I guess, what I'm trying to say is... if you ever want to...
[Gidget wags her tail, and her eyes lighten up. Then she barks and happily hops onto Max and starts licking him and nuzzling him]
Max: Okay!
Pops: Oh, great, you're in love. How gross for everyone, now, MOVE IT!
[as all the pets head back to their apartments; they say goodbye to Max]
Gidget: [laughs] Bye, Max.
Max: Bye, Gidget.
Snowball: Man, I feel sorry for them. Gotta run home to their owners, not us. Now, it's back to our primary mission. The downfall of the human race! It is on, humans! It is on!
[Derick, Dragon, and Tattoo cheer, Molly is riding on her scooter]
Molly: Mommy, can I have a bunny? [The Flushed Pets see Molly] And a pig and a crocodile and a lizard? [Dragon, Derick, and Tattoo went back in to the manhole leaving Snowball behind]
Snowball: Uh, oh.
Molly: Yay, bunny! [hugs Snowball]
Snowball: Jab, jab, jab! Body blow, body blow! Break-away move!
Molly: Aww... [pets Snowball's head]
Snowball: What's going on? What's she doing?
Molly: Bunny, I'm gonna love you forever and ever and ever. [Snowball's eyes turn cute as Molly pets him] Aww. Bunny. [she and her Mom walk away]
Buddy: [Buddy is dressed up as a teddy bear and Mel a Minion] You said it was going to be a costume party.
Mel: Why do you listen to me?
Leonard's Owner: I'm home, Leonard! [Mel, Buddy, Snowball and the Flushed Pets scatter. Leonard tells Peanut to go and turns the soft music back on] Were you a good boy, Leonard? [gets startled when Tattoo crashes to the floor on the chandelier]

Taglines

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  • Think this is what they do all day?
  • Ever wonder what your pets do when you're not home?
  • Wonder what they do all day?

Cast

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