The Odd Couple
1965 stage play by Neil Simon
- Oscar (to Felix): You leave me little notes on my pillow. I told you a hundred-and-sixty-eight times I can't .. stand .. little notes on my pillow! 'We are all out of Corn Flakes. -F.U.' It took me three hours to figure out that 'F.U.' was Felix Unger!
- Oscar (to Felix): I have a typewritten list in my office of the 10 most annoying things you do that drive me berserk.
- Oscar (repeating Felix's warning): 'Let it be on your head.' What the hell is that, the Curse of the Cat People?
- Roy (Oscar's poker-playing buddy, sniffing): What is that, disinfectant? . . . It's the cards. He washed the cards.
- Oscar has just talked to Felix's wife about Felix, who is missing:
- Murray: Is that what he said? 'I'm going to go out and kill myself?'
- Oscar: I don't know, Murray, she didn't read it to me.
:Murray: You mean he left a note?
- Oscar: No, he sent a telegram.
:Murray: A telegram? Who sends a suicide telegram?
- Oscar: Felix the Nut, that's who. Can you imagine receiving something like that? She even had to tip the kid a quarter.
- The Pigeon Sisters: Ta Ta.