The Muppet Christmas Carol

1992 film directed by Brian Henson

The Muppet Christmas Carol is a 1992 musical comedy film adaptation of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, starring Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge, directed by Brian Henson, produced by The Jim Henson Company, and released by Walt Disney Pictures. It is the fourth of a series of live action musical feature films starring The Muppets, and the first produced after the sudden death of Muppets creator Jim Henson and fellow puppeteer Richard Hunt. Although it is a comedic remake with contemporary songs, it otherwise follows Dickens' original story closely.

The film was dedicated to the memory of Jim Henson and Richard Hunt, two original Muppet performers, who died before the film's release.


Gonzo: Hello! Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.

Gonzo: [narrating as "Mr. Dickens"] Night was falling, and the lamplighters were plying their trade. [accidentally lights Rizzo's tail]
Rizzo the Rat: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, light the lamp, not the rat, LIGHT THE LAMP, NOT THE RAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PUT ME OUT!
Gonzo: Oh! My apologies! Um... [suddenly spotting a barrel of water below the lamp post] Rizzo!
Rizzo the Rat: WHAT?!
["Mr. Dickens" pushes Rizzo so he falls into the water barrel]

Scrooge: One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money lenders.
Bob Cratchet: If you please, Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder. And the bookkeeping staff would like to have an extra shovel-full of coal for the fire.
Bookkeeper 1: We can't do the bookkeeping.
Bookkeeper 1: All of our pens have turned to inkcicles!
Bookkeeper 3: Our assets are frozen!
Scrooge: And how would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?!
Bookkeepers: HEAT WAVE! [Singing] This the island in the sun...

Bob Cratchet: Excuse me, Mr. Scrooge, but it appears to be closing time.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Very well. I'll see you at 8 tomorrow morning.
Bob Cratchet: Um, tomorrow's Christmas.
Ebenezer Scrooge: 8:30, then.
Bob Cratchet: If you please, sir, half an hour off hardly seems customary for Christmas Day.
Ebenezer Scrooge: And how much time is customary, Mr. Cratchet?
Bob Cratchet: Well, the, uh, whole day.
Ebenezer Scrooge: The entire day?
Bob Cratchet: If you please, Mr. Scrooge, why open the business tomorrow? Other business will be closed; you'll have no one to do business with. It'll waste a lot of expensive coal for the fire.
Ebenezer Scrooge: It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the 25th. But as I seem to be the only one around who knows that... take the day off.

Ghost of Christmas Past: Let us see another Christmas in this place.
Ebenezer Scrooge: They were all very much the same. Nothing ever changed.
Ghost of Christmas Past: You changed.

Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!

Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!
Fozziwig: Oh, pay no attention to them. My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."
Jacob Marley: That was the speech?
Robert Marley: It was dumb!
Jacob Marley: It was obvious!
Robert Marley: It was pointless!
Jacob Marley: It was... short!
[turns to Robert]
Jacob and Robert Marley: I loved it!

Rizzo: There's only two things in this life I hate: heights and jumping from them.
Gonzo: [sighing heavily] Too late now. Come on. I'll catch ya.
Rizzo: God save my little broken body! [Rizzo jumps from the top of a gate, way overshooting Gonzo. He shakes off and looks to Gonzo, who shrugs]
Gonzo: Missed.
Rizzo: Aagh... Oh, wait a second. I forgot my jelly beans. [Rizzo shimmies through the bars of the gate, grabs a small satchel then shimmies back out. Gonzo stares at him] What?
Gonzo: You can fit through those bars?
Rizzo: Yeah.
Gonzo: You are such an idiot.



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