The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy/Season 2

The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy (also known as Billy & Mandy] (2003–08), created by Maxwell Atoms, is an American animated television series that aired on Cartoon Network. The two main characters, Billy and Mandy, have obliged the Grim Reaper to be their best friend forever after having won a bet over a sick hamster.

Spider's Little Daddy / Tricycle of Terror [2.01]

Billy: I HATE BUGS! OH MY GOSH! WHAT IF I TURN INTO A BUG RIGHT NOW?!

Mandy: Let's do a bug test. Tell me the first thing that crawls into your little brain. Lady.

Billy: Bug!

Mandy: June.

Billy: Bug!

Mandy: Yo sucka don't be...

Billy: Buggin'!

Mandy: Yep. You're turning into a bug.

Billy: [screams] BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!

[Billy rides the bike.]

Billy: The bike rocks! The wheels are like circles! [The bike crashes and he falls] The bike is fine. I should still be able to ride it at home. [The bike catches on fire] I'm sweating, I should get one lemonade.

[Cut to timecard "An awful lot of lemonade later", with the Male Narrator reading it, then back to Billy with a bloated belly]

Billy: Who needs a dumb bike to have fun anyway? Walking can be its own reward. Come on, legs, you can do it.

Irwin: Hello, Billy.

Billy: Hello, Irwin.

Irwin: I'm having so much fun with my bike!

[Irwin's bike crashes into a wall and his bike tire gets a puncture]

Irwin: Oh no!

Mindy: [knocks Billy over] Sorry! Are you alright, Billy?

Billy: Yep, I'm fine. What have you got on your feet?

Mindy: Rollerblades. You put one on each foot and whoosh!

Billy: You knocked me over.

Mindy: Yes. Sorry. I'll better see how they work. Look. And back the other way!

Billy: [laughs] Very good.

Mindy: Let's go! [Skates off]

Billy: Mindy's going fast. I saw an opportunity and I seized it.

Irwin: It was my bike tire. Look. It a got puncture.

Weird kid: How do bikes work?

Irwin: With pedals.

[Mr. Kid mends Irwin's bike]

Irwin: Mr. Kid has mended my bike.

Billy: Irwin, Pud'n, Sperg and Mandy have bikes, Mindy has rollerblades and Shelly Marsh and General Skarr has a motorbikes.

[Billy has a bloated belly and has to use the portable toilet. After using the portable toilet, he goes to the wheels store.]

Billy: Is it a red tricycle?

Weird kid: You always have to promise to drive it.

Billy: I promise!

Weird kid: I just remembered this story about a tortoise and a hare.

Billy: Can I tell you a story about the tortoise and the hare before I go with the red tricycle?

Weird kid: Of course you can.

Billy: Once there was a tortoise and a hare. They decided to have a race. But the tortoise was very slow. The hare knew he could run much faster than the tortoise and overtook him at once.

Weird kid: Then what happened?

Billy: Well, the hare stopped for a little rest and fell asleep.

Weird kid: Never!

Billy: And the tortoise, who was taking it very steady, overtook him.

Weird kid: You cannot be serious!

Billy: And to everyone's surprise, the tortoise won the race.

Weird kid: The story ended. It's time to go. Don't forget. You must drive it.

[Billy drives it out of the wheels store.]

Billy: Wow, what a cool tricycle! I'll name you... TRYKIE! Come on Trykie, lets have some FUN!

Billy: Hey, guys! Do you notice anything new?

Irwin: [he and Pud'n burst out laughing] What is that, yo? Is that a tricycle?

Billy: Yes. His name is Trykie.

Irwin: Incoming data packet for Billy: only babies drive tricycles.

Billy: I don't know what you're talking about.

Irwin: Aw, what are you going to do? Cry?

Billy: I'm not gonna cry, you dumb doo doo brains!

Irwin: Come on. Let's see the tears coming out of your eyes, Baby Billy.

Billy: Baby Billy? I'm a 9-year-old boy!

Irwin and Pud'n: [singing] Baby Billy, Baby Billy, boo Hoo, it's Baby Billy.

Billy: That's the dumbest song I've ever heard! Trykie is cool! And I'm not a baby!

Irwin: Uh-huh?

Dumb Luck / No Body Loves Grim [2.02]

Grim: No child, that's not bad luck. You're just stupid!

Grim: [scanning Billy] Just as I suspected. His brain is caught in a weird juju vortex, and his good luck matrix is in the red. This could only mean one thing: Catastrophe Snail!

Billy: Catastrophe Snail?!

Grim: Right in your noodle.

Mandy: But how did it get there?

Grim: It must have been in that restaurant when Billy spilled the salt. I told him to throw salt over his shoulder to PREVENT bad luck, but Billy panicked. He reached for the salt, but he grabbed the pepper. That's when the snail must have appeared on Billy's shoulder. Salt would've have fizzled that slimeball, but Billy threw pepper. And at that time, the whole place was sneezing. So, that snail slipped right into Billy's ear with nobody noticing a ting. Once the Catastrophe Snail gets in your head, he plugs his shell right into brain. And once he's plugged in, mon, he'll be reprogramming your mind to have nothing but bad luck only. Dig it?

Catastrophe Snail: I love my job.

Grim: Yeah, mon. And if we don't pull him out soon... I guess it's fatal.

Billy: [screaming] He's messing with my head!

Catastrophe Snail: [after being evicted from Billy's brain] This is definitely NOT my lucky day.

Li'l Porkchop / Skarred for Life [2.03]

Harold: So son, wanna go fishin'?

Billy: NO! Turkey

Harold: [happily] That's the spirit!

Harold: No, no, no son... Fish don't have feelings, they're made of foam latex!

[Thinking that a pelican is Billy.]

Harold: Son, I never said you this before, and I probably won't ever say it again, but... I love you son.

Harold: It's not the size of the fish that counts. It's how you cook 'em!

Billy: Thanks, Mr. One Eye.

General Skarr: My name is Mr. Skarr!

Billy: How come you got only one eye? Are you sensitive about it? Because if I had only one eye, I would be sensitive about it. You should wear an eye patch like a pirate, then all you need is a puffy shirt. Do you own a puffy shirt? You look like you would.

General Skarr: I'll show them what real power is! TAKE MY LOVE, MY PAIN, AND ALL OF MY ANGER!

[A reference to G Gundam.]

Mandy: So, we were thinking of setting you free.

Grim: Really?

Billy: Yeah. All you gotta do is say you're a little girl.

Grim: I'm... a little girl.

Mandy: I'm not sure I bought it.

Billy: Yeah! Are you a PRETTY girl?

Grim: [high-pitched, feminine voice] I'm very pretty! Look at me! I'm QUEEN pretty! Aren't boys just so dreamy? I can talk on the phone for hours about nothing!

Mandy: Grim...?

Grim: Let's brush my hair! And paint my toes!

Mandy: ...you can stop. We were only kidding.

Grim: Oh, it's FUN to accessorize! Let's all ride some magical pink ponies! I'll name mine Sparkles Fantastic!

General Skarr: Give me that! [General Skarr takes off with Grim's scythe.]

Grim: Hey! It's not polite to steal from little girls!

Billy: [wearing Skarr's military uniform] Hey, everybody, look! I'm a used car salesman!

Billy: So, as I was saying, there are lots of words that rhyme with "cheese"!

General Skarr: [making cornbread] Real corn makes it special.

General Skarr: What ARE you?!

Mandy: I'm just a PRETTY LITTLE GIRL.

Ernest: ["welcoming" General Skarr to the neighbourhood, shouting] CUUURSED! CUUURSES! Woe to all who live in that house, for they shall only know PAIN! PAIN! [calmly] Oh, and welcome to the neighbourhood. Here's some nice jellatin the wife made. It's got bits of fruit and stuff. [awkward pause] OK, well, bye. [he leaves, and shouts offscreen] CUUURSES!

[Billy has just learned of Skarr's past]

Billy: That story was so beautiful, it gave me gas. [farts] But don't you ever miss your old job?

General Skarr: [fondly] Miss commanding regimented forces of destructive power? As we encircle the globe with our terrible iron fists of might? [raising his voice and slowly becoming more maniacal] Crushing down all the pathetic fools who dared stand before us? Gorging our bellies on their cries for mercy, until at last, I ALONE STAND AS THE GLORIOUS DARK LORD OF ALL THE KNOWN UNIVERSE?!!!! [gasps for breath before suddenly calming down] Not at all. Don't miss it.

Billy: You... DISGUST me! I thought you were bad. You ain't bad, you ain't nothin'!

General Skarr: [On phone] Hello?

Billy: [Whispering] Ultimate power.

House of Pain / A Grim Prophecy / Mandy Bites Dog [2.04]

Grim: You don't want to make me mad! I get angry when I'm mad!

Mandy: Grim! It's chore day, you slacker. Stop monkeying with that Hill Billy dork and go clean the toilet.

Lord Pain: THIS IS NOT THE MASTER!

Billy: You won't make friends with that attitude!

Mandy: Oh, by the way, I'm borrowing your leg.

Grim: Hey!

Mandy: I need it to get the remote from behind the couch.

[As a child, Grim is about to become the Grim Reaper, as per his mother's wishes]

Grim: I don't want to be the Grim Reaper. I just want to sing and Willy will!

Grim's Dad: Enough! You'll do what your mother tells you. Singing is for birds and sissies.

Cave Witch: [seeing Grim as a child, on his first day of the Grim Reaper] I have been expecting you.

Grim: M'name is Grimmy and I've come to reap your immortal soul.

Cave Witch: I know who you are, for I have forseen it IN MY FIRE! I have seen YOURS as well, a terrible future: a future where you are controlled by two mere children for all eternity...

Billy: [to Lord Pain] I like the way you break stuff.

Mandy: Hey, shut the door! What are ya, raised in a barn?

Harold: [tying things to the roof of his car] See, Mandy? Only a MAN can tie a knot like that.

Mindy: Wow, Mandy, what a great dog you have. Did you teach him to pee himself and run away?

Grim: Cerberus is a monster! He didn't just eat my homework; he ate me dad!

Mindy: So Mandy, what's it feel like?

Mandy: What?

Mindy: Being a loser all the time. Does it BURN?

Mandy: Boy, Saliva, you really are a pathetic dog... but I guess you're MY pathetic dog.

Cave Witch: [to audience] I have seen YOUR future as well: you will soon suffer an eternity of COMMERCIALS!

[She cackles wickedly]

Billy: [after using snapping turtle bikini wax] No more unsightly nubs!

Nursery Crimes / My Peeps [2.05]

Billy: You know what, Pinocchiochiochiochiochiochiochio? You're funny.

Pinocchio: Funny? Why... there's nothing funny about being made of wood.

Billy: ...wuzzat you say?

Pinocchio: I sure wish I was a real boy, like you!

Billy: Uhh...yeah...well... I gotta go!...

Pinocchio: Yeah! And the only way for me to to become a real boy, is to devour the flesh of the real boy. Can I please eat your flesh?

Billy: AAH! [running in terror]

Mandy: [After being trapped in the story-book] Someday, you will all PAY. [her voice echoes throughout the room as the episode ends]

Billy: [thinking a really big kid is Mandy because his eyes are so bad] Boy, Mandy, you've been packing on the pounds lately!

[Billy is terrified at the thought of visiting the optician]

Billy: NOOO! He'll steal my soul!

Grim: Well, if he doesn't, I get second dibs.

[From Billy's point of view, Grim and Mandy appear to be drawn in anime style]

Mandy: 彼の目はまだきちがいだ。[His eyes are still wrong]

Grim: Hmm.

Billy: I can't understand a thing you're saying! [Grim zaps his eyes again. Billy now sees Grim and mandy in a child's cartoon] Mandy? Grim?!

Grim: [happy voice] I finally think he's back to normal. [Child Mandy giggles. Billy's eyes turn angry and show Grim in each one]

Billy: [roars] Oh, so you're laughing at me?! Gimme that! [snatches Grim's scythe] You're trying to mess with me, aren't ya, Grim? Well, I'm not gonna letcha! Ya hear?! I'm not gonna letcha!

Grim: I assure you, your suspicions are completely unfounded. Mandy and I are only here to help you.

Billy: [babbles crazily; his teeth rattle] Stay away from my eyes! [He swings the scythe at them]

Grim: Billy, this is madness! [Billy chases them, swinging the scythe at them]

Billy: ARGH!

Nigel Planter And The Chamber Pot of Secrets / Circus of Fear [2.06]

Nigel: 'cause i'm being hunted by the darkest most evil villain to ever walk the face of the Earth!

[whispers] Lord Mouldybutt. The mere mention of his name causes things to break.

Billy: I am a golf ball. I am a golf ball. Oh, what a golf ball I am.

Grim: You DO realise that you're watching static?

Mandy: Yeah.

Bully Boogie / Here Thar Be Dwarves [2.07]

Billy: It's our picnic fixings!

Grim: Picnic? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. You remember what happened last time, don't you?

[flashback to Billy, Grim and Mandy at a picnic in the park]

Billy: Please pass the egg salad.

Sasquatch: [popping out of the bushes] RAGGLE FRAGGLE!

[grabs Billy and runs away]

Billy: Ahhhh! Somebody help me!

[Grim and Mandy go back to eating, flashback ends]

Billy: Yeah, that was pretty special. Wanna see my emotional scars?

Mandy: [coming into the room] What happened here? Did the refrigerator throw up?

Grim: Billy want us to go on a picnic.

Mandy: No way, José. You remember what happened last time?

[shows the same flashback of Billy, Grim and Mandy having a picnic]

Gladys: [coming into the room] Have you crazy kids been flashing back in here?

Grim: Yah. We've been trying to talk Billy out of going on a picnic.

Gladys:: A picnic? Oh, honey! No! No! You remember what happened last time!

[shows the same flashback again]

Harold: [coming into the room] What is this, a party?

Gladys: Dad! Talk some sense into your son! He wants to go on a... picnic!

Harold: After what happened last time? You all remember that, right?

[goes to flashback again, only this time, it shows Harold putting on a sasquatch suit behind some bushes]

Billy: [off screen] Please pass the egg salad.

Harold: [leaps out of the bushes] RAGGLE FRAGGLE!

[is heard running off with Billy]

Billy: Ahhhh! Somebody help me!

[flashback ends]

Harold: [Laughs] I say we let the boy go!.

Billy: Rock on!

Billy: [Singing] Walking in the woods, walking in the woods, just lookin' for a place where to eat all our foods! [A scruffy Yogi Bear peeks out of the bushes, his eyes bloodshot and clothes torn]

Yogi: Psst! Psst! Hey, little girl. Come here for a second. [Billy comes over to him] That's a nice pic-a-nic basket you got there.

Billy: Yeah, it's OK. [Pause]

Yogi: You got some nice sandwiches in there, I bet.

Billy: Sure, I suppose.

Yogi: [Steps closer] I think this is a good place for your pic-a-nic.

Billy: [Uneasily] Yeah, I don't know.

Yogi: [Bends down to take the basket] Here. Let me set it up for you. [Booboo, who is also scruffy and ugly, sticks his head out of the bush]

Booboo: You get the food yet, Yogi?

Yogi: Shhhh!

Billy: L-look, I think I really gots to get going.

Yogi: Hey, that's cool, man. Let me just... gimme that basket! [tries to grab the basket, but Billy runs away]

Booboo: [who is fat with big nipples] Don't let him get away! [Yogi gives chase, waving his arms in the air and yelling gibberish. He stops, gets down on all fours and sniffs the ground while Billy hides behind a tree]

Yogi: I know you're close, you dirty human!

Billy: Hey, I'm not dirty, I just had a bath fifteen days ago! Oops! [He covers his mouth as Yogi glars at him. He then chases him again] Aah! Aah! [Billy runs into a cave] Hey, ya dumb bears. You can't get me now. I'm in a cave.

Yogi: He's right, Booboo. We bears are terribly afraid of caves.

Booboo: Why are we so lame, Yogi?

King Beardbottom: We're stuck with mushrooms! Here, try one.

Billy: It tastes like my cat!

King Beardbottom: They taste like EVERYONE'S cat! It's been 300 years and I STILL hate the taste. I've worked with mushrooms for so long, even my sweat SMELLS like 'em! Here, take a whiff.

Billy: [Sniffs Beardbottom's armpit] Whew, you ain't kiddin'!

[the King Beardbottom is telling the story about the origins of the war]

Billy: [appearing in the flashback] Hey, wait a second! Hold up. How can you be mad at the Elves? You chose to trade cookies for mushrooms!

Druid: Hey, did that kid just step into the flashback?

Other Druid: What manner of sorcery be this?

Censoring Trooper: Alright, listen up, you little radish munchers, this battle is about to become way too exciting to show our younger viewers. Instead I will show you this soothing image until the fight is over. SWEET MOTHER OF FOG YOU SHOULD SEE THIS! Cookies and mushrooms flying through the air like june bugs in a swamp! Whew it appears to be over, lets go back to the- Whoa ho ho! That was entirely my bad! I misread the signals! I knew a guy named "Joe". He misread the signals in a combat situation - now he eats everything through a mechanical straw!

Billy: Stop it! Stop the fighting! Why do you have to hate each other? Can't you see you're just like peas and mashed potatoes? Some people don't like them to touch each other if they're on the same plate. But it's okay... it's okay if they touch! Because they both get chewed up by the mouth!. And sent down the oesophagus and dissolved into the stomach and absorbed into the intestines and, oh ho, I won't go any further than that. But the point is, we're all just nutrients in the great big digestive system called LIFE!

[Grim and Mandy are washing a car.]

Grim: I wonder how Billy's picnic is going.

[Billy flies past them really fast]

Billy: HEY GRIM! HEY MANDY!

Grim: That answers one question, yet raises so many others...

Boogie: What happened to your face?

Boy: Dude, I'm like fifteen. We all look like this. What are you, my mom?

Boogie: No, I'm-the boogeyman.

Boy:[unimpressed] ...I don't even believe in you. Go talk to my little brother.

[Billy and Irwin are watching TV]

Irwin: This show is awesome!

Lady on TV: Hey, Doc, what're ya doing with my legs? [buzzing sound] AAH!

Doctor on TV: Oh, STOP it! I'm just shaving you!

Billy: Oh, Grim. The TV wants to talk to you.

Grim: TV?

[Boogie, still disguised as the television, is sitting on the couch holding a glass of wine]

Boogie: Hello, Grim.

Grim: [perplexed] Hello, TV...