The Boys (TV series)/Season 4

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The Boys is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for Amazon Prime Video. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

"Department of Dirty Tricks" [4.01]

Black Noir II: Yo, what the fuck? That was so fucked up, you guys.

Butcher: Listen, Ryan, I got a lot to say and fuck-all time to say it. I got a lorry out back. I can get you out of here.

Ryan: What are you talking about?

Butcher: I know you're angry with me, and you got every right to be. But you know how dangerous Homelander is.

Ryan: He's my dad.

Butcher: Ryan, he-- He murdered some poor sod right in front of your eyes!

Ryan: But that guy was a pedophile!

Butcher: Ryan, it ain't true. He's lying to ya. Let me take ya to Grace, alright? And then you don't gotta see me no more... Please, son. I'm beggin' ya. It's what your Mum would want.

Homelander: "No" means "no", William. This isn't the Neverland Ranch. Don't worry. Nothing bad's gonna happen, right? Oh... Seems it already has. Look at that big, black mass curdling around your brain. What do you got, six months? Less? It's too bad, we're not gonna have that last dance together. I'll miss us.

Butcher: Bloody hell, you wank to your own voice, don't ya?

Homelander: That's the spirit, champ.

Victoria Neuman: Mutually assured destruction. I hurt you, you out me. You out me, I kill everyone you've ever loved.

Victoria Neuman: I think you guys are actually getting worse at your jobs.

Homelander: They're only humans ... and toys for our amusement.

Homelander: Girls get it done ... in the white house.

Homelander: Nobody come back pregnant. Just kidding! I'm kidding, they're too young, although Ryan could spew goo if he wanted to.

Billy Butcher: Evening, cunts. We're here to commit a bit of treason.

Robert Singer: Everyone told me to pick Buttigieg instead.

Homelander: I'm surrounded by sycophants and fucking imbeciles.

Homelander: Blow A-Train.

Billy Butcher: You're between a cock and an odd place.

Billy Butcher: We're whistlin' our way towards a fucking apocalypse!

Sister Sage: You are welcome to laser me, but I'm guessing you need me and my party trick for something.

Homelander: I save people, they cheer. I fucking kill people, they cheer. It's meaningless.

Sister Sage: Fuck you, fascist! [Throws hot coffee on bystander, instigating a riot]

Victoria Neuman: That sounds like the pot calling the kettle a teleporting dude with his dick out.

Homelander: You and me are gonna prove to them that even with a soft-on-crime fuckin' libtard for a president, it's gonna be business as usual.

Robert Singer: Congress certifies the election January sixth. After that, a supe is one heartbeat away from the presidency. MY fucking heartbeat!

Sister Sage: Rome. Greece. All democracies fail. Because people are fucking stupid.

Firecracker: He's an antifa paedo who fucked around and found out. An eye for an eye might be in the Jew section of the bible, but it's still in the bible.

Sister Sage: I'm not wearing some vaguely racist supersuit in front of a bunch of clapping seals.

"Life Among the Septics" [4.02]

Director: Hey, let's sidebar here a little bit -- feels like you're having a little bit of trouble getting out of the starter's block.

A-Train: Maybe it's the scene.

Director: Baby, this scene sings, alright? Look at me -- in the arc of your character, this is your low point, alright? Everybody's given up on you, you're all alone, until the coach--

A-Train: Swoops in and saves me from the ghetto?

Director: No, no, no, no! You actually save each other. It's a very balanced narrative -- all the sensitivity readers that we hired, they all agreed!

A-Train: My brother is the only coach that I ever had.

Director: Right.

A-Train: He was a waiter at Buster Beaver, not a fucking crack dealer!

Director: And he must be so proud of you right now. Let's get this train back on the tracks!

Black Noir: Look, playing Noir has been a meaningful challenge, but yesterday was wack as fuck. I've never actually murdered anyone before. Does Homelander make us kill people, like, a lot? And when he does, do we just... do it? Look, don't get me wrong, I am stoked to be here and I am down to ride the wave. I'm just having trouble with Noir's motivation, you feel me?

A-Train: His motivation is being a braindead maniac. Just keep your mouth shut.

Ashley Barrett: [Enters elevator with Sage] Listen. I know you’re the smartest woman on earth... Smartest person. Let me give you some advice. You know, girls supporting girls. You cannot talk to Homelander like that.

Sage: I’m telling him the truth. You’re so afraid of him, you’ve plucked yourself bald. If I were you, I’d make myself useful. You know, get some lactation going, let him suck on those titties. Before you end up like Madelyn Stillwell.

The Deep: [Enters elevator] Oh, Ashley, hey, what’s up? Just the girl boss I wanted to see. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Hey, so I heard that Ryan’s doing his first solo save. I want to talk to you about something. I have this idea. [clears throat] Okay, so, what if... and just hear me out on this, what if I was there? That’s it. That’s the pitch.

Ashley Barrett: Hmm. You want to join a family-friendly PG save? While PETA still has you on their bestiality watchlist? I swear to God! Stupid people who think they’re smart make me want to eat my own shit! [Leaves elevator]

Sage: Why do you let her talk to you like that?

The Deep: She’s just a bitch. It’s probably that time of the month. It’s like a full moon thing, isn’t it?

Sage: You’re a genetically superior being, and she’s the evolutionary equivalent of a capybara.

The Deep: Cappuccino...?

Sage: It’s a giant rodent from South America.

The Deep: Oh.

Sage: You’re better than her. Act like it. And you should be at the save. It’s a good idea. [Leaves elevator]

The Deep: Thank you.

Homelander: Wow. Oh, buddy, can you believe that? W- What do you think?

Ryan: It’s cool, I guess.

Homelander: You guess? [Chuckles, then stammers] I think it looks amazing. Oh, so amazing. Really marketable. So marketable.

Sister Sage: The whole pitch blows.

Homelander: It... does not blow.

Sister Sage: It blows, harder than Nancy Reagan on the MGM backlot.

Homelander: I’m sorry, why are you here?

Sister Sage: Vought got rid of most of the sidekicks after Gunpowder. The settlements exceeded profitability.

Homelander: Yeah, but I don’t think Ryan is gonna file an HR complaint against me. [Laughs] A what?

Sister Sage: Ryan is the first natural-born superhero. And his brand needs to reflect that. He’s not one of Vought’s lab rat freaks. He was chosen... by fate, God, whatever... to be the one who saves the world.

Homelander: Yes. But let’s not forget why he is special. Shall we? He’s my son. Chosen by God, sure, but, uh... made by me.

Sister Sage: The chosen one narrative only works if he stands alone. Harry Potter. Neo. Luke Skywalker. Hollywood's trained people to fall in love with white boy lone saviors.

Adam Bourke: Let's get this train back on the tracks.

A-Train: Keep your fuckin' mouth shut. Do as you're told.

Sister Sage: Do you actually believe all this, or is it just bullshit smeared on top of a personal vendetta?

Sister Sage: He wouldn't be caught dead with these ringworm infected cousin fuckers.

Ashley Barrett: You wanna join a family friendly PG save. While PETA still has you on their bestiality watchlist.

Splinter: It's not what it looks like.

Nathan: That movie theater in Idaho? That was a soundstage in the Bronx. That terrorist? That was a stunt man. Those mountains? They added those in post. I know ... because I was there.

Firecracker: They're American, you fucking surrender monkey.

Frenchie: Pink eye. Too much salad tossing, eh?

Sister Sage: Wow, that is ... lackluster.

Homelander: They're only human, Ryan. Toys.

Firecracker: Which would you rather believe, that you belong in a community of warriors battling a secret evil or that you're a lonely inconsequential nobody that no one will ever remember?

Ryan: Dad?

Homelander: Yeah.

Ryan: Did I look dumb?

Homelander: You really... you got to put your back into it. You know, like... you really got to sell it. You understand?

Ryan: Are all saves like this? Like, with stunt people and rehearsals and stuff?

Homelander: No, no, of course some of them are real. I- I’ve saved a lot of people. This is just to help you get your sea legs, all right?

The Deep: Hey, so, um, just to be clear, we’re not actually killing people on the day, am I right?

Homelander: Just shut the fuck up. [Walks away]

The Deep: You can’t talk to me that way.

Ashley Barrett: I didn’t say anything.

The Deep: I mean from before. Because I am the... I’m the peak of human evolution. And you’re just, you’re just a capabarnia. It’s a rodent from South America.

Ashley Barrett: Oh. So you’re fucking land mammals now?

The Deep: [Walks up to her] I am the lord of the seven seas. You talk to me like that again and I will drown you in your fucking toilet, you stupid bitch! After I’ve used it! Is that what you want?

Ashley Barrett: No.

The Deep: “Sir”!

Ashley Barrett: No, sir. [Walks away]

Evan Lambert: That kid’s face is made for the big screen. A complexion like butter. He’s practically glowing.

Cherie: I'm a contessa from Luxembourg on permanent vacation.

"We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here" [4.03]

Black Noir II: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Okay. So, how does a chemist know how to disarm a guy like Jason fucking Bourne?

Frenchie: I’d say more like Jean Reno in Léon.

Black Noir II: Never heard of it. You’re a thousand years old.

Robert Singer: Vought’s been calling the shots for too damn long. Thanks to Starlight, folks are wising up. The DOJ is filing antitrust charges, but I say we take it a step further. It’s time we ban Supes from the military, from private policing, and all other government positions. Don’t you agree? Of course. But, I mean, we don’t want to seem as though we’re prejudiced against them either, so... Supes are entertainers, period, end of story. So, shouldn’t we take them off the streets and put them back on The Masked Singer, where they belong?

Video game Crimson Countess: [In Billy Butcher's voice] Oi, Ryan.

Video game Lamplighter: [In Ryan's voice] Butcher?

Video game Crimson Countess: Well, better me than some dodgy incel hawkin’ Voughtcoin.

Video game Lamplighter: My dad said I’m not supposed to talk to you. [Stammers] Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Just- just give me 20 seconds. Begin.

Video game Crimson Countess: We need to talk.

Video game Lamplighter: We’re talking now.

Video game Crimson Countess: No, no, a- a proper catch up, in real life, over at my place maybe. Come on, don’t make me play the “six months to live” card.

Video game Lamplighter: I mean, if you had a “one month to live” card, then that’d be something.

Video game Crimson Countess: [Chuckles] Nice one. Reckon I deserved that. Just please think about it, all right? That’s all I ask. And we will not be denied.

Black Noir II: I studied performing arts at Godolkin. I did Cirque de Vought in Montreal. You didn’t hire me to stand around like a fucking oak tree.

Ashley Barrett: Am I getting fired?

Sister Sage: Course not.

Homelander: No. Company still needs a figurehead like Ronald McDonald or Buster Beaver.

Ashley Barrett: Oh... I’m a mascot.

Homelander: Exactly. A mascot.

Ashley Barrett: Okay. Great.

Ashley Barrett: [Pulls open drawer to get a paddle and dominatrix boots'] God, I’ve given him everything! I haven’t had a doctor’s appointment in three fucking years! Countless UTIs, enough yeast infections toopen a Panera! I don’t need this crap, you know? I went to Vanderbilt! [Sits in sofa seat and starts putting on boots]

Cameron Coleman: [Lying on floor tied up] Don’t quote me on it, but you should leave a floater in his toilet. I did it to Suzanne, and... you’d be surprised how satisfying it felt.

Ashley Barrett: Did I give you permission to talk, you fucking prom night dumpster baby? [Gasps] I’m gonna finally do it! I am finally gonna fucking quit! Disney’s been trying to recruit me for years, and I am a goddamn girlboss! Now... who wants their balls crushed?

Cameron Coleman: Me?

Billy Butcher: Fancy a game?

Ryan: It’s nothing. I’m fine. Butcher... are you... scared?

Billy Butcher: Scared of what?

Ryan: To die, I mean?

Billy Butcher: I’m all right with it.

Ryan: [Sighs] You’re lying. I can tell when you’re lying. You know, maybe this was... I- I just think I should go.

Billy Butcher: Oi, Ryan. How’s your foosball?

Ryan: What’s foosball?

Marvin Milk: Matter of fact, I got so much dirt on you, A-Train, I could bury you six dozen feet under. But... I don’t think I’m gonna need to do that.

A-Train: And why is that?

Marvin Milk: ‘Cause of those dark circles under your eyes. You ain’t getting no sleep. It makes me wonder, what the fuck is keeping A-Train up at night? Is it that bullshit white savior movie they got you in? Or that they put your brother in a wheelchair? Or guilt for beating three man to death over at Planet Vought? I knew one of those guys. Wasn’t my favorite person, but... he was innocent. You know what I think? I think you’ve spent so much time wearing that stupid-ass Black Power suit, pretending to give a shit, that something stuck. You may have that racist white boy’s heart up in you, but you got a second goddamn chance to actually give a shit. So what you gonna do with it, man?

A-Train: Fuck you. Sage is already hunting for whoever leaked that footage. 'Cause giving a shit just gets you killed.

Marvin Milk: True. But you’re still standing here.

Kimiko Miyashiro: [Signing] Are you high right now?

Frenchie: Of course not.

Kimiko Miyashiro: [Signs] You are!

Frenchie: [Light beam through window becomes intense] It’s just this light mélange of hallucinogens. I’m fine.

Nina Namenko: Mm. Why shoot me? I don’t hold your choke chain anymore, Zaichik. Nobody does. Mm. You’re free of me... aw, and look at you, on your own. Complete and utter failure. Fucking that boy you orphaned, it’s pathetic. All because you cannot accept what you’ve always known to be true. You killed them. Every last one. The women and children. And you only have yourself to blame. You’re a murderer. A monster... through and through.

Ryan: I get why you don’t want me. I wouldn’t want me, either.

Billy Butcher: Hey. Now you listen to me. Them horrible things I said... I didn’t mean ’em. I have this, uh... I have this habit, see, of pushing people away.

Ryan: Why?

Billy Butcher: ‘Cause, uh... ‘cause I’m a bad man. I ain’t got no business looking after a kid.

Ryan: Ah, that’s not true.

Billy Butcher: Before, you asked if I was scared. And the truth of the matter... is I’m bloody terrified, mate. I’m leaving this world with nothing to show for it. I lost me bruv... your mum. And I could be leaving without making things right with the one part of her that is still alive. And that... that scares me more than anything.

[Butcher walks over to his cookie jar and pours out the cookies in trash bin.]

Ryan: Why’d you do that?

Billy Butcher: I fucked ’em up. Put way too much sugar in ’em.

Sage: Okay, let’s- let’s just all calm down, okay? You’re not in trouble here, Anika. [Laughs] Starlight’s the bad guy here. So, look, we’re gonna find out anyway, so, you just tell us the truth, we swear you’ll be fine. [To Homelander] Right?

Homelander: Yes, yes, I... I swear. I... I swear... [places right hand on left breast] on the life of my son.

Anika: Okay. Mm, yes, Starlight did call me a few days ago. She just wanted some help tracking--

[Homelander sends out a blast of his laser vision, hitting Anika's head and splattering the wall behind her with her brain. Ashley gasps in horror. Sage stands, looking at him disapprovingly]

Homelander: What? She confessed! Leak plugged.

Sage: You don’t think the next word out of her mouth might have been useful?

Homelander: Guess I am that petty.

Firecracker: You really don’t remember me, do you? Of course. I mean, why would you? We were only on the same pageant circuit together for three fucking years. ‘Course I was going by “Sparkler” back in those days.

Starlight: Sparkler. Yeah, right. You, um, sang that “God Bless America” medley.

Firecracker: [Scoffs] I practiced that routine so fuckin’ hard. Never mind we were too poor to have a backyard to practice in, but... I’d dream that one day, I’d get good enough to win. Miami-Dade. Down to you and me, the finals. And my mom starts doing my makeup, and I notice that everyone is... snickering... at me. You remember why? Turns out you told everyone that I had an ass-fuck gangbang with the judges, which was the only way trash like me could ever make it to the final. I was 13 years old. And when I went to you to ask you... “why?” you remember what you said?

Starlight: Look, I was immature and stupid, and my mom taught me to be ruthless.

Firecracker: Do you remember... what you said?

Starlight: I said that... [sighs] “I don’t talk to fat sluts.”

Firecracker: And then, not long after that, I had to quit the pageant circuit, ’cause... well, a rumor like that, it really follows you around. And the more you deny it, the more they believe it.

Starlight: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was so fucked up, and it was so wrong. I was jealous. But I’m not that person anymore.

Firecracker: People don’t change. And everybody thinks that you’re so decent, so pretty and perfect. Hell, you fucking think you’re better than everybody else.

Starlight: That’s not true.

Firecracker: You’re damn fucking right it’s not. All that dove, pure angel bullshit? No, I see the conniving little mean-girl bitch in there. And when I’m done, the rest of the world’s gonna see it, too.

Frenchie: “Man is condemned to be free because once thrown into this world, he is responsible for everything he does.”

Starlight: It was a lot easier shitting on Vought’s decisions, and my mom’s decisions, and everyone’s decisions, than making my own. [Sighs]

Frenchie: Do you ever miss it? Your choices all made for you?

Kimiko Miyashiro: [Signs] All the times you’ve helped me, let me help you. Talk to me.

Frenchie: What if it’s not your business?! We are not joined at the hip! We don’t have to tell each other everything! Or do you want to tell me who was that girl was back there in the warehouse, with the scars? Huh? We cannot solve each other’s problems. Now, excusez-moi, I’m gonna get high.

Daphne Campbell:I was, uh... 22 when I had you. Mm-hmm. [Chuckles] Oh, those dimples. But I was depressed. Postpartum. Uh... You know, people think depression, they think, “Oh, so you’re sleepy, so what?” But it’s... not like that. It... it’s painful. It hurts. My friends all said, “Give it a month, six months, a year,” but it- it never went away. But you were always so fun. We’d have dance parties. I never wanted you to see it. But... getting dressed was like... climbing Everest. And so, one night, I just took 40 Ambien and tried to kill myself. Thank God I threw them up in the toilet. So the next day, I... took you to school, and I left. I didn’t want to, but... it was life or death for me.

Hugh Campbell: I didn’t know that.

Daphne Campbell: Why would you?

Hugh Campbell: You, um... you never called.

Daphne Campbell: I tried. But your dad was so hurt, and- and... he didn’t want me to confuse you. So, eventually, I just stopped. I thought, you know, maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a parent. And I know you’ve spent a lot of your life hating me and thinking I’m the villain, and I would never ask for your forgiveness. But I’m really sorry, Hughie, that I hurt you. I was just fucked up, you know?

Marvin Milk: I mean, Sage? Elon Musk has more charm than she does, and he's half-android.

Kimiko Miyashiro: The therapist was right. I need to face my past. So I'm going to kill them all.

Firecracker: So, anything you need. Anything. I mean, anything. Anything. Any thing. Anything.

Sister Sage: Starlight's just the first pebble down the mountain. Soon, it's an avalanche.

Joe Kessler: By the time he's ready, it'll be too late.

"Wisdom of the Ages" [4.04]

Hallucination Becca Butcher: [Billy loses consciousness in shower and slumps to floor] What are you doing?! Come on! Get up! The world doesn't end just because your shitty life does!

Starlight: [Billy enters] What the fuck is he doing here?

Marvin Milk: Bringing him back in.

Starlight: No. No, no, no, no, no. I don’t trust him. I don’t. And you’re insane if you do, okay? [To Billy] And you can drink yourself to death in whatever dark hole you crawled out of.

Billy Butcher: That’s a good idea. I might just do that.

Starlight: Good.

Marvin Milk: Okay, wait a minute. Hold on a second, Butcher. Look, Lord knows I got problems with the guy, too We both do, but this is bigger than us. That shit Homelander and Sage are talking about, that’s some end-of-time shit. Team is shy one total asshole. Now, we need this motherfucker.

Starlight: I mean, I’m...

Marvin Milk: Annie, this is my call. It’s done.

Billy Butcher: Well, all right then. Happy we got that sorted, eh? Now, can someone please explain to me what makes you Firecracker’s Moby Cunt?

Starlight: I have no idea.

Billy Butcher: Bollocks.

A-Train: [Approaches Ashley backstage during the V52 Expo; Ashley turns to look at him] No, keep your eyes forward. Don't let them see us talking.

Ashley Barrett: Who?

A-Train: Sage, Homelander, all of them.

Ashley Barrett: Oh, God, are you on meth?

A-Train: Remember when we said we'd help each other? The leak wasn't Anika, it was me.

Ashley Barrett: [Panicked whisper] What the fuck? What the fuck, are you fucking suicidal?

A-Train: [Whispers over her] Shh... just.. just chill out, Ashley.

Ashley Barrett: Chill out? You just made me a fucking accomplice, you piece of shit. I took one shit in Homelander's toilet, I'm not joining the fucking Rebel Alliance. I need to tell him.

A-Train: Hey. You've done a lot more than just take a shit, and we both know that. We made a deal. So you either help me get Sage off my jock, or you go down with me.

Sister Sage: [Watching Starlight and Firecracker fight on TV] How's that for uppity, cracker?

Sister Sage: First pebble down a mountain.

Billy Butcher: Straight up web weaver stinky spider. Heroin enemas don't come cheap, my son.

Sister Sage: So, big day. You ready?

Firecracker: You have no idea. I’ve been waiting for this my whole life.

Sister Sage: One last piece of the puzzle. Figured this could be your big finish. [Shows her tablet]

Firecracker: You know, when I first met you, I thought you were kinda uppity, but you're one of the good ones.

Sister Sage: Well, we are the new kids in The Seven.

Firecracker: Mm-hmm.

Sister Sage: Gotta look out for each other.

Sister Sage: I find you repulsive in a way that's difficult to quantify, and I'm fucking amazing at quantifying.

Homelander: [Bringing a cake for research science team] I brought a Fudgy the Whale.

Billy Butcher: M, I got a favor to ask.

Marvin Milk: Think you’re in a position to ask for a favor?

Billy Butcher: If I can’t get the job done before I, uh... [sees Becca behind Marvin] I need you to get Ryan away from Homelander.

Marvin Milk: Oh, Butcher. I got to be realistic.

Billy Butcher: Some days I can barely even fucking stand. Get him out of there. Raise him.

Marvin Milk: Raise him?

Billy Butcher: You’re the best dad I know, M. The best fucking anyone.

Marvin Milk: That might be one of the nicest things you’ve ever said to me, but... what if Ryan doesn’t want to go?

Billy Butcher: Then you’ve got to make him.

Billy Butcher: You’re gonna tell us everything you know about Sage and her grand plan, or I hit this little tweet button here.

Firecracker: [Presses send icon on screen] How about I just send it myself? Fuck around and find out.

Firecracker: I’m sorry, I got to interrupt. I’m so sorry. I need, I need to make a confession.

Ezekiel: A confession?

Firecracker: I need to confess my sins. Ain’t no way to sugarcoat this. I had... inappropriate relations with a sweet young man. Damn, that smile. But that young man, he was 15 years old. Oh... But the moment of my greatest weakness was also the moment that pushed me to my eternal salvation. I was born again, and my sins were washed away by the tears of His love.

Ezekiel: Praise the Lord!

Firecracker: Now, I- I believe that our Lord Jesus Christ put that young man in my life to lead me to the path of righteousness. Oh, my God. You got to choose to turn in to the light of His love. And that’s what Starlight, she just didn’t do. Y’all ever hear that story about her very first save? She was only 13 years old, and, well, a gunman came into Walmart and took hostages. Well, Starlight, she came in a’blasting. But what they don’t tell you is that she blinded one of those hostages that day. A mother of three, just trying to buy Crunch Berries for her kids. But Starlight, she just went on, smiling for those cameras like none of it ever happened. Starlight’s no hero. She never was.

Homelander: Hey, Frank, come on over. How about a game of wastepaper basketball?

Frank: I’m sorry?

Homelander: Uh, first of three, and tell you what, make it interesting, you win, I’ll let you knock off early, go see the fam. Um, okay. Excellent. I’ll start. You know, I learned this game from you, Frank.

Frank: I don’t understand.

Homelander: I once saw you take a shot at a waste basket, and you nailed it, and... and you don’t remember.

Frank: No.

Homelander: Yeah, well, I sure do. Yeah, you were sitting there, and, well, I was in this oven here. And you made the shot. You did a little fist pump to celebrate, and then you turned up the temperature to see if you could burn my skin. You remember that, right? [Chuckles] Your turn. Fun fact. Um, even though my skin didn’t char, it still really hurt. I mean a lot. Yeah, I was in there, screaming in agony, and my tears just sizzled away. Yeah. I remember there was, uh, people standing here taking notes, but behind them I saw you make that shot. It really was a great shot, Frank.

Frank: I was just doing my job.

Homelander: I had nightmares about that exact moment and you can't even remember it. Funny how people can have such a different memory of the exact same thing. All a matter of perspective, I guess.

Homelander: Well, you remember the nickname you had for me, right?

Marty: Mm-mm.

Homelander: Really?

Marty: “Squirt.”

Homelander: [Chuckles] Yeah, you called me Squirt, silly. You remember why?

Marty: No.

Homelander: Oh, f... Marty, okay. But you do remember, though, that I used to be left in there for hours, days on end. Completely alone. Right? Only... I was never really alone, was I? Mm? Big Brother was always watching. [Chuckles] You were always watching, weren’t you, Marty?

Marty: Huh?

Homelander: But... growing boys have... certain needs, shall we say? So I figured out that when you did your rounds at night, I had about a couple of minutes to myself to, uh... well, to, uh, to do what boys do. [Chuckles] And-and that would be the only time of day that I would feel anything good. So this one night, uh, I couldn’t get finished in time. And you caught me with my pants down. You had a really, really good laugh at me. Remember? That’s when you nicknamed me Squirt. I got to be honest with you, Marty... [sighs] you really hurt my feelings.

Marty: I am very sorry.

Homelander: What’s done is done. Water under the bridge. [Chuckles] But stay there a sec. [Clears throat] I do want you to jerk off in front of us right now. Hey, uh, guys, come on over here. Come on. Yeah. We’re all gonna laugh at you. Okay? Yeah. That way, you will know how it feels, and I think I’m gonna feel better.

Marty: [Nervously laughs] Homelander... I am really very sorry.

Homelander: I know, I know. Thank you. Now, don’t be shy. Take your pants down.

Homelander: [Steps in blood puddle on floor] Whoa, whoa! You’re getting dick blood on my boots, Marty!

Homelander: You know why I used to call this The Bad Room?

Barbara: It was just a room, John. It’s neither good nor bad.

Homelander: That’s easy to say from the other side of the door.

Barbara: Doesn’t matter what you do to me or the rest of the staff here. Your need for love is so deep, it’s so human, you’ll never be able to overcome that.

Homelander: That’s where you’re wrong. I’m not human. And neither is my son. And I’m going to raise him so that he knows it. You know, I really do want to share with you why I called this The Bad Room.

Frenchie: Colin, don’t, please. Stop! Stop being so fucking nice to me! It was me!

Colin: W- What was you?

[Frenchie lifts up leg pants to reveal scars that Colin remembers as a youth from hiding under bed when his family was being massacred.]

Colin: It was you?

Frenchie: I’m sorry.

Colin: You’re a fucking psychopath! If you come near me again... I’ll fucking kill you.

Sister Sage: I don’t get you, dude. Like, at all. You start off, you’re a total bitch, and then you tell me I’m, like, a superior being... which of course I like and that you’re down to pound, which obviously I will... I know. Most people, their brains grow till they’re about 25, then stop forever. Mine doesn’t. It regenerates, constantly. Stab me in the heart, I die. But stab me in the brain and the little fucking bitch grows back. I want you to put this inside me.

The Deep: [Chuckles] That’s the worst dildo I’ve ever seen, but... No.

Sister Sage: In my eye. Here. I am down for, like, a lot, but... it’s temporary.

The Deep: Hmm?

Sister Sage: You give me a frontal lobotomy and I don’t have to fucking be me for a couple hours.

The Deep: Uh, that’s just... fucking gross.

Sister Sage: I’ll let you ass-fuck me while we watch the Kim and Ray J video.

The Deep: Okay, so where do you want me to put it? Just right there?

Sister Sage: Sit down. Now, avoid the eye itself. I don’t want to go blind.

Starlight: [Answers phone] Hello?

Robert Singer: You know, friends tell friends the truth, and... the Supe Control bill would’ve passed with flying colors. But after what you pulled today... might as well call it the Psycho Starlight Baby-Killer bill. Are you still there?

Starlight: I’m sorry.

Robert Singer: Sorry doesn’t bring back all the Republican votes you just torched. I can’t be affiliated with you anymore.

Billy Butcher: You fucking dog-wanker.

Hugh Campbell: Jesus. How long have you been standing there?

Billy Butcher: Long enough. How could you?

Hugh Campbell: I- I didn’t, I didn’t do it for him. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hating anybody.

Billy Butcher: What you gonna do with that, then?

Hugh Campbell: I mean, you’re probably the only guy that would understand, but I was going to give it to my dad.

Billy Butcher: Oh, Hughie.

Hugh Campbell: Look, I know. I know it’s insane and terrible, but what other choice do I have?

Billy Butcher: Any other fucking choice, you twat.

Hugh Campbell: You’re really telling me that you wouldn’t take some if you were in his shoes? ‘Cause you kind of are. There’s enough here. It’d save you, too. It’s got to beat dying of brain cancer, right?

Billy Butcher: I already took some. Nicked it out of Frenchie’s desk four months ago. Thought it might cure me.

Hugh Campbell: Jesus. Do you have powers?

Billy Butcher: No. All it did was bring up the big day. I’m telling you, quit while you're behind. You’ll only make matters worse.

"Beware the Jabberwock, My Son" [4.05]

Hugh Campbell Jr.: Hughie Are you okay? [Stammers] Is there anything, like, buzzing or tingling or… weird?

Hugh Campbell Sr.: No, I’m telling you. I feel great. Are you absolutely sure I had a stroke?

Hugh Campbell Sr.: Yes.

Hugh Campbell Jr.: What’s the last thing you remember?

Hugh Campbell Sr.: Let me see... I was at Smart & Final, I was buying a family pack of pizza rolls. They didn’t have pepperoni, so I had to get supreme. Or was it Triple Meat?

Hugh Campbell Jr.: Dad.

Hugh Campbell Sr.: No, it was supreme. I remember it had the little green pepper specks in it.

Hugh Campbell Jr.: Dad! Forget about the fucking pizza rolls!

Daphne Campbell: Well, he sure sounds like himself.

Hugh Campbell Sr.: Yeah. I mean, if I was as bad as they say, then I- I- I shouldn’t be alive, right? I mean, it’s a true blue miracle.

Monique: What am I supposed to do with her home for two weeks, Marvin? I have a job!

Marvin Milk: So do I.

Monique: And the boy needed stitches, which you can be sure we’re going to get the bill for.

Marvin Milk: Suspended for fighting, baby? This ain’t like you.

Janine: Dad, I...

Marvin Milk: Uh-uh. What... were... you thinking?

Marvin Milk: Suspended for fighting, baby? This ain’t like you.

Janine: He said Homelander’s a hero, so I told him the truth. Then he told me to f-word off, so I hit him!

Marvin Milk: Baby, fighting is not how you solve problems.

Marvin Milk: Suspended for fighting, baby? This ain’t like you.

Janine: Why not? That’s what you do!

Monique: Sweetie, go to your room! Go to your room! [She runs off and slams her bedroom door]

Marvin Milk: Okay, Monique...

Monique: Goddamn it, Marvin. I am not gonna lose another person I love to this superhero shit.

Marvin Milk: Let me talk to her.

Monique: You fix this. Now!

Joe Kessler: Billy... your team is a joke. You think I haven’t noticed? M.M.’s on the verge of a breakdown, Frenchie’s a fucking junkie, Hughie is a gaping wet pussy. And the two Supes on your side? Man, for whatever reason, you have a blind spot for them.

Billy Butcher: All right, I’ll give you Starlight. But Kimiko’s a bloody good weapon, and the rest of them are still up to scratch.

Joe Kessler: Well, I don’t get you. I don’t. Half your brain is a fucking tumor. This is your last shot at Homelander, and now you decide to go soft? Yeah, they are decent people, but you and me, we don’t belong with decent.

Billy Butcher: I’d call you a cunt, but you ain’t got the depth or the warmth.

Starlight: This is insane and desperate. Even for you.

Billy Butcher: Well, insanely desperate’s where we are, don’t you think, love?

Firecracker: [In a church] Lord, they asked me to join The Seven. I know I should be happy, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to fight all the sinners. [Kneels before cross] Will you carry me, Jesus? Are you... are you there?

The Deep: Speaking of faith, let’s all have a moment of silence for my brother in Christ, Ezekiel. Adios, amigo.

Sister Sage: Still searching for this leak.

A-Train: Hmm. Any leads?

Sister Sage: Working on it. But it’s got to be someone. That footage didn’t just run itself out of Crime Analytics, am I right?

Stan Edgar: Gentlemen... I have pottery class in ten minutes.

Billy Butcher: Right. Would you rather finger some fucking clay or... [He holds up a Presidential pardon] walk the fuck out of here?

[Stan silently stares]

Billy Butcher: Fuck, really grateful cunt, isn’t he?

Marvin Milk: Mm.

Billy Butcher: Where’s your fucking manners?

Stan Edgar: It’s not my birthday, and this is not a gift.

Billy Butcher: Got to hand it to him... cunt knows how to wear a whistle.

Hugh Campbell Sr.: Absolute disaster, the- the... our honeymoon.

Daphne Campbell: [Feeding him] It wasn’t a disaster! Come on! Be serious! Acapulco wasn’t that bad!

Hugh Campbell Sr.: Daphne?

Daphne Campbell: Yeah!

Hugh Campbell Sr.: W-W... What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here. You left!

Daphne Campbell: But I came back, remember?

Hugh Campbell Sr.: I did everything for you! And you look through me like I wasn't even there! You ruined my life. Hughie's lfie!

Hughie Campbell Jr.: I'm Hughie, Dad! I'm the one you took to the Vought Store to buy the Tek-Knight doll, remember? I-I was, I was short eight bucks, even though I saved for weeks. And you said, "Anything for your number one hero." But that's the thing, Dad, he-he-he never was. You are. You're my hero. And that's why I-I needed you to wake up, so that I could say it, and I, and I, and I know that you heard it. You're my hero, Dad.

Starlight: [Entering country house] You got a nice place.

Stan Edgar: I’ve rarely been. It’s the smell. But if Victoria wanted to keep her proclivities quiet, it’d be here.

Starlight: [Entering basement converted into a laboratory: What is all this?

Stan Edgar: I’m as surprised as you are.

Stan Edgar: So, you brought in Sameer. Smart. That’s what I’d have done. But whatever happened to him, it wasn’t us. We should find him together.

Victoria Neuman: You’re fucking kidding me! If I’m not mistaken, you hurt these people, they expose you as a super-abled killer, yes?

Stan Edgar: Then I’m afraid that we are at a stalemate. You might as well use their expertise. At the very least, they’re effective cannon fodder.

Marvin Milk: Thanks! That’s really nice of you!

Cameron Coleman: [Chuckles and shoulder bumps The Deep] Hey, listen, man. Call me crazy, but I’m sensing a little tension here. Anything wrong?

The Deep: Yeah, dude. You fucking reported that I got shitcanned as head of Crime Analytics.

Cameron Coleman: I’m sorry, but... [sighs] Look, I got to take a couple of shots at the home team now and again, if I’m gonna appear fair and balanced. [Exhales sharply] Look, I’ll make a retraction.

The Deep: No. It’s way too late for that shit. [Sighs] Noah Baumbach pulled me from his latest slice-of-life drama.

Cameron Coleman: I’m sorry, man, I don’t know what to say. You know, it wasn’t personal.

The Deep: [Walks onto stage of V52 Expo] A-Train! For the first time in Vought’s history, we have two Black heroes in The Seven and one unspecified.

Cameron Coleman: [Laughs] Yeah. Wow. [Audience cheers]

The Deep: Vought proudly supports and amplifies BIPOC voices. Isn’t that right, Cameron?

Cameron Coleman: It sure is, Deep. Which is why these articulate heroes will lead Vought’s newest diversity initiative. Black At It. [Audience cheers]

The Deep: Some say; “Go woke, go broke.” Well, we say; “Go woke, get yoked.”

Homelander: Hmm. Why are we doing a teen show, anyway?

Adam Bourke: Um, ’cause we like money.

Homelander: If you don’t want to do it... don’t. Don’t do it. I mean it. I’m just gonna pop the horns up here a little bit and play devil’s advocate.

Adam Bourke: We are a month away from shooting. Built all the sets. I think we bought up half the sound stages in Toronto.

Homelander: Who cares?

Adam Bourke: [Quietly to Homelander] Is this because I jerked it in front of Minka Kelly? Because, again, that was just crossed wires. Hey, guy, what’s it gonna take to get you amped? Do you want a E.P. credit? That is done. You want to get script approval? I can make anything sing...

Homelander: Give him your black Amex.

Adam Bourke: What? You want... You know what? Why don’t you take my whole wallet?

Homelander: And the keys to your Jaguar.

Adam Bourke: I would love... to do that. [Forcedly chuckle] Ryan, what do you say?

Ryan: No.

Adam Bourke: Yeah.

Ryan: [Walking in hallway]So, you’re... you’re really not mad at me?

Homelander: No. I’m proud of you for speaking your mind. Ryan... [sighs] I’ve been, uh... manipulated by people my whole life. Being told what to say, where to stand. It- It’s like being a slave, only worse. I did some reflecting, and I realized that I’ve been doing the same thing to you. But no more. From now on, no more rules. For either of us. We are both emancipated from slavery. We’re free. Sound good?

Ryan: Yeah. [Chuckles]

Homelander: Yeah? Oh, buddy, I-I don’t care what anyone else thinks but you. Far as I’m concerned, this whole planet is empty. Except for you and me.

Homelander: Ryan, I've been manipulated by people my whole life. Being told what to say, where to stand, it's like being a slave, only worse.

Frenchie: [In a barn with mutated chicken attacking them] V'd-up fucking chicken! [Opens fire on them ineffectively]

Billy Butcher: [Leaving barn of murderous mutated chickens] Well, you could’ve warned us your pal Sameer was V-ing up a Kentucky Fried fucking massacre, couldn’t ya?!

Victoria Neuman: I didn’t know, okay?! Something obviously went wrong! We have to find him.

Billy Butcher: Yeah, right! And we’re supposed to believe you?! You eat, sleep and shit lies, don’t you?!

Victoria Neuman: Right, ’cause you’re such a paragon of virtue! You tell your friends about the deal we made?

Starlight: Wait, wh-what does that mean?

Victoria Neuman: Said he’d steal all your files you had on me if I gave him Ryan.

Starlight: Are you fucking kidding me?

Victoria Neuman: And I didn’t go through with it, did I? Which proves I’m on the level!

Starlight: When are we gonna learn? He’s never gonna fucking change!

Marvin Milk: All right, listen. We got a lot of ground to cover, so let’s just go!

Stan Edgar: It’s an absolute wonder to me that you’ve all managed to live this long! [They walk off]

Billy Butcher: [Starlight stares at him] What?! I didn’t go through with it!

Cameron Coleman: [Serving self at a buffet] Ooh, that’s nice.

Ashley Barrett: Excuse me. Hi. Did I say you could take out your vibrating Bluetooth anal beads? Go pop them back in right now.

Cameron Coleman: This is an important event.

Ashley Barrett: Uh-huh.

Cameron Coleman: You really expect me to come onstage in front of our most loyal fans?

Ashley Barrett: I want everyone to know what a grubby little queef sniffer you are.

Cameron Coleman: Huh. [Sighs heavily] I’m sorry. This wasn’t how I was planning to tell you, but, um, this isn’t working out for me anymore. I mean, it was one thing when you were really in charge around here, but now, I mean...

Ashley Barrett: You... are dumping me?

Cameron Coleman: I need a dom who’s dominating. You know? But, uh, I hope we can still be friends. [Bites an asparagus and walks away]

Sister Sage: Hmm. Is this your angry look, or did Starlight fuck up your face?

Firecracker: You know, if you weren’t Homelander’s right-hand bitch, I’d take you out behind the woodshed and whup your ass.

Sister Sage: Mm, sounds on-brand. You set me up to get my ass beat. And you fell for it. But, hey, now you don’t have to play a victim. You can really be one.

Firecracker: [Scoffs] Y’all just think I’m stupid poor white trash.

Sister Sage: I don’t think you’re poor.

Firecracker: Underestimate me all you want. Makes it that much easier to stick a fucking shiv in your back. [Walks away]

Frenchie: Do you still believe in God?

Starlight: I want to. It's just, uh... It's just so hard sometimes. And you?

Frenchie: With all my heart. The trinity, the resurrection, the sacraments... all of it. Well, except for the Sacraments of Penance. Come on. What a steaming pile of dog shit that is.

Starlight: I really kind of think that forgiving is... is important.

Frenchie: Forgiving, oui. But not being forgiven. What, I confess to some priest I don't even know in a peep show booth, and all my sins wash away? Dog shit. Some sins God should not forgive. Some sins deserve eternal damnation.

Starlight: Frenchie... what have you done?

Frenchie: It is not just one thing, you see. It is so many things.

Starlight: You should really talk to someone. You should. I mean, have you told Kimiko?

Frenchie: If I tell her... I'm scared she'll hate me. I'm even more scared she won't.

Victoria Neuman: I noticed you’re having a little, uh... projectile dysfunction.

Starlight: Yeah, you know what? Why don’t you worry about yourself, okay?

Victoria Neuman: I am. You’re not much use to us if your powers are on the fuckin’ fritz. Saw you beat the piss out of Firecracker on national television. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the hell out of it, but, um, don’t you think it was a little... out of control? We can’t lose our cool like that.

Starlight: We?

Victoria Neuman: Come on, Annie. I’m one of the only people who does get it. Dual identities. I’m still Nadia. You think I don’t want to let her out sometimes? But I can’t. I got to be Neuman. And, shit, you’ve been Starlight for so long, do you even know who Annie is anymore? [Starlight punches Victoria in the face knocking her down with her getting back up and laughing] Yeah, you really got your shit locked down!

A-Train: [Walks up to her at the V52 Expo show] No, keep your eyes forward. Don’t let them see us talking.

Ashley Barrett: Who?

A-Train: Sage. Homelander. All of them.

Ashley Barrett: Oh, God. Are you on meth?

A-Train: Remember when we said we’d help each other? The leak wasn’t Anika. It was me.

Ashley Barrett: What the fuck? What the fuck? Are you fucking suicidal?

A-Train: Just chill out, Ashley.

Ashley Barrett: Chill out?! You just made me a fucking accomplice, you piece of shit. I took one shit in Homelander’s toilet. I’m not joining the fucking Rebel Alliance! I need to tell him. [Turns to walk but A-Train grabs her]

A-Train: Hey. You’ve done a lot more than just take a shit, and we both know that. We made a deal, so you either help me get Sage off my jock, or you go down with me.

The Deep: [Looking at phone] Hey, how long’s this thing supposed to go on for?

Cameron Coleman: Why, big plans tonight?

The Deep: Nothing much, just gonna maybe fuck your wife.

Cameron Coleman: Excuse me?

The Deep: Tabitha. She wants me to swing by for a late-night muff-dive. Which’ll take forever ’cause I don’t need to come up for air. I can just breathe right through her juices.

Cameron Coleman: [Becomes menacing] Enough. I know about your little closeted eight-armed hand job machine. I could cut a package together, have it on the air by tonight.

The Deep: You wouldn’t.

Cameron Coleman: Watch me. [Becomes upbeat] So try and keep it classy, okay? [Pats The Deep on shoulder and walks away]

Homelander: So, what do you want to do?

Ryan: We could go get some Nathan’s Famous.

Homelander: [Chuckles] No, I mean a little more boldly. I mean, like, big picture. What do you... want to do?

Ryan: You’re gonna laugh at me.

Homelander: Mm-mm. No, I won’t.

Ryan: I kind of want to help people. But not like with fake saves, like really help. It’s what my mom would want.

Homelander: That’s.... amazing. That’s great. [Refers to intern Bonnie with Adam] You want to help her? Hmm?

Ryan: Yeah.

Homelander: Yeah?

Ryan: But, I mean...

Homelander: Great. Hey, Adam, will you send that lovely young lady over here, please? And you come, too.

Ryan: Um... is he making you uncomfortable?

Bonnie: Uh...

Ryan: No, you can tell me. You won’t get in trouble.

Bonnie: Um... Kind of... Yeah.

Homelander: Ryan? What do you think?

Ryan: Adam, I think you should apologize.

Adam Bourke: Uh, I’m sorry if I was inappropriate.

Ryan: Didn’t seem like you meant it.

Adam Bourke: Uh, yeah, that’s just... that’s just my natural tone.

Homelander: [Points downwards] Maybe the problem is that Adam is looking down on the P.A.

Ryan: Yeah.

Homelander: Mm-hmm.

Ryan: Yeah, um... Adam, I think you should get on your knees and do it again.

Adam Bourke: [Kneels down] I’m sorry if I exploited our inequitable power dynamic, and I made you feel uncomfortable. Please forgive me.

Homelander: He’s still lying.

Ryan: Mm-hmm. I agree.

Homelander: [Whispers] I think maybe he needs to be taught a lesson.

Ryan: I want you to slap him. [Both chuckles]

Adam Bourke: Bonnie... [Gets slapped] Oh! Oh, fuck!

Ryan: Do it again. [Adam cries out being slapped] Okay... again.

Adam Bourke: Homelander... [Gets slapped] Oh! Fuck me! [Gets slapped] I’m sorry! Stop, please! [Gets slapped repeatedly] Bonnie, please! Please! Homelander, pl-...!

Firecracker: [Walking through house heavily vandalized with graffiti] Guess Starlight can't decide whether to rape a baby or kill it.

Hughie Campbell, Sr.: When it came to an advance directive, let's just say, I didn't want to end up like Jar-Jar (a pet dog).

Homelander: So, patriots, show me a little wrath.

Starlight: [Frenchie is thumbing rosary beads] I didn’t know you were a Catholic.

Frenchie: Something about the drama of it appeals. [Chuckles] You know? Do you still believe in God?

Starlight: I want to. It’s just, uh... it’s just so hard sometimes. And you?

Frenchie: With all my heart. The trinity, the resurrection, the sacraments... all of it. Well, except for the Sacraments of Penance. Come on. What a steaming pile of dog shit that is.

Starlight: I really kind of think that forgiving is... is important.

Frenchie: Forgiving, oui. But not being forgiven. What, I confess to some priest I don’t even know in a peep show booth, and all my sins wash away? Dog shit. Some sins God should not forgive. Some sins deserve eternal damnation.

Starlight: Frenchie... what have you done?

Frenchie: It is not just one thing, you see. It is so many things.

Starlight: You should really talk to someone. You should. I mean, have you told Kimiko?

Frenchie: If I tell her... I’m scared she’ll hate me. I’m even more scared she won’t.

Marvin Milk: Hey. How transmissible is that?

Sameer Shah: Not very. Only through bodily fluid. Blood, saliva... semen.

Marvin Milk: Okay, so we inject it into your dead buddy over here as bait, and then we put him outside to infect the crazy fucking flying sheep!

Frenchie: This man is in no condition to fuck a sheep.

Billy Butcher: Darwinism, love. Don’t got to be the fastest, just not the slowest.

Starlight: You’re a monster, and I’m not letting you do this.

Billy Butcher: Or what? You gonna go stark raving like you did with Firecracker? I got the head popper and you can’t even get it up.

Marvin Milk: Enough. Enough! [Rolls up sweater sleeve] Look. Look. Y’all see this? Hives. And I got them because y’all motherfuckers are driving me the fuck crazy! Now, Annie, you can’t just go around fucking everybody up! And, Neuman, do you really want to risk Zoe growing up in a group home the way you did?! [Turns to Billy] And you! Look! My little baby girl needs me, and I intend on seeing her. You’re not a monster, Butcher. You are a motherfucker, but you a motherfucker with a heart!

Stan Edgar: Not very sporting of you to renege on a deal.

Marvin Milk: Deal was a pardon for the virus. No virus? No deal.

Homelander: What does it mean to be a hero? This country is corrupt beyond repair. So, we got to save it. We have to save America. We have to save the world for our kids. So, I’m reaching out to you, to do your part. Now, it’s not gonna be easy. We’ll... We’ll have to do some terrible things. Some violent, merciless, maybe even cruel things, for the greater good. That’s war. You’ll no longer be beloved celebrities. You will be wrathful gods. When the time comes... will you answer the call?

Sam Riordan: How will we know when the time comes?

Homelander: Trust me, you’ll know.

Frenchie: Madame, excusez-moi.

Police desk sergeant: Sir, we’ll get to you when we can...

Frenchie: I have committed murders. Plural.

Daphne Campbell: How do you know this is even gonna work?

Hugh Campbell Jr.: I- I have this, uh, French friend. He kind of taught me way too much about drugs. Look, if we don’t do this, then he spends the rest of his life scared and confused, in-in prison or- or an asylum. Or he kills more innocent people.

Hugh Campbell Sr.: He’s right. Hughie’s right. I don’t want to be Jar Jar.

Hugh Campbell Jr.: [Administers shot] It’s not gonna hurt.

Daphne Campbell: Thank you. For taking such good care of our boy. I promise I will do the same. Yeah? Yeah...

Hugh Campbell Sr.: Oh, wha... What's happening? I feel-- I'm-I'm sc- I'm scared!

Hugh Campbell Jr.: Hey, Dad, it's okay. Hey, I'm right here. I'm right here. We both are. And I-- I love you, so much. I'm not gonna hold on, okay? You can go.

Hugh Campbell Sr.: I love you too, son. My wee Hughie...

Joe Kessler: [Referring to Sameer tied up in a barn] Now, see? That is classic Butcher.

Sameer Shah: You get away from me! Get away from me!

Billy Butcher: [Kneels down and brings down Sameer's gag with both palm out hands] All right, take it easy! I ain’t gonna hurt you. Well, not no more. It was just enough to convince people.

Sameer Shah: You chopped off my fucking leg!

Billy Butcher: Yes, I did. I ain't gonna sugarcoat it, your football days are over, but don’t you worry, we’ll patch you up, right as rain, and you’ll be back to work in no time.

Sameer Shah: Work? What work?

Billy Butcher: Well, what the fuck do you think? You’re gonna make us some more of that virus.

Sameer Shah: [Whimpers] No, no... [Billy looks over at Joe with a wide evil knowing smile]

"Dirty Business" [4.06]

Joe Kessler: Wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey, motherfucker! [Billy pats Sameer on face lying on mattress and chained in an industrial factory]

Billy Butcher: [Kneels down] Now listen up, son. We been awfully patient with you... but it’s time to stop fucking about and get the job done. [Opens cooler to reveal sheep heads] Mary’s little lamb is starting to stink. I could just bash your fucking head in, jog your memory. Or, alternatively... you just give us a list of what you need to extract the virus.

Sameer Shah: You cut off my fucking leg, you chain me here... for what? [Whimpers and recoils when Billy leans forward]

Billy Butcher: Listen, mate. I’m the only thing that’s standing between you and a murderball game at the Y.

Sameer Shah: You don’t understand, I can’t! I can’t! Vicky, Zoe... I can’t! [Screams when Billy grabs his leg stump]

Joe Kessler: Could just send you back to them in a fucking bucket, you don’t do whatever the fuck we say. [Billy has a coughing fit] You all right?

Billy Butcher: Yeah, right as rain. You got a week. And make it strong enough to top Homelander.

Sameer Shah: A week? This could take months! A week! [Sobs]

Billy Butcher: [To Joe] Don’t let him fall asleep this time. [Walks away]

Daphne Campbell: You know, this has got to be a health code violation.

Hughie Campbell: It’s what he wanted.

Daphne Campbell: My God, did he love Maid in Manhattan.

Hughie Campbell: [Sighs] Man, that movie sucks. It’s so bad. Right?

Daphne Campbell: It’s so bad. [Both chuckles] I just feel like maybe I shouldn’t leave, you know? You know, you can call me anytime, I can come in same day...

Hughie Campbell: Yeah, but people back home really need their Voughtality beauty care, right? Really, I’m... I’m fine.

Daphne Campbell: Yeah?

Hughie Campbell: Yeah.

Daphne Campbell: Is she okay?

Hughie Campbell: Kimiko? Our friend Frenchie just turned himself in for a bunch of murders he committed for this Russian mob boss, but Kimiko’s upset that he didn’t talk to her about it first, so...

Daphne Campbell: Who the fuck are your friends?

[Marvin is at desk in office and answers phone]

A-Train: Hey, this is so fucked!

Marvin Milk: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. Where are you?

A-Train: Toronto, so we could talk! They killed Cameron Coleman because they thought that he was the fucking leak!

Marvin Milk: Oh, shit!

A-Train: Listen, I can’t do this shit anymore, man. I’m done!

Marvin Milk: All right. No one ever said this would be easy. Think about your brother, your nephews... They’d be so proud of you, man.

A-Train: Who cares what my family thinks if I’m already fucking dead?

Marvin Milk: Calm down. Now walk me through everything. And let’s process this shit together, all right? [To Starlight and Hugh] This is so fucked! So before Cameron got beaten to death, Homelander was seen putting Supes together like a...

Starlight: An army!

Marvin Milk: Mm-hmm. And then A-Train saw Tek-Knight talking to Sage. Looked like they were planning something...

Hugh Campbell: You want to talk to Tek-Knight.

Marvin Milk: Now, he’s having a Federalist Society party tonight at his estate.

Starlight: I cannot believe that this is about to come out of my mouth, but... [sighs] we could use Butcher.

Hugh Campbell: Have you heard from him?

Marvin Milk: Motherfucker’s MIA.

Starlight: [To Hugh] Hey. Maybe you should sit this out. You know? You’ve just been through so much. With your dad...

Hugh Campbell: I’m fine. Focusing on work is exactly what I need to do right now, okay? Just trust me.

Starlight: Okay.

Hugh Campbell: Okay. So, how are we supposed to sneak into an alt-right cocktail party?

Marvin Milk: Thought you’d never ask.

Starlight: Webweaver?

Webweaver: [Opens apartment door to Marvin] I know you. Where’s the limey? [Marvin enters a heavily webbed apartment]

Marvin Milk: Don’t worry about all that. I got your medicine.

Webweaver: Usually Beardy McBritish wants some dirt in exchange, but... I’m fresh out. Unless there’s another way I can pay? Wink-wink.

Marvin Milk: On the house, for being a loyal CI.

Webweaver: [Groans] Yo. I’m- I’m, I’m pretty fucked up, no cap. [Holds out a douche syringe] Would you mind doing the honors?

Marvin Milk: Fuck you mean?!

Webweaver: Shoot it up my pooper, dawg.

Marvin Milk: Motherfucker, you done lost your mind!

Webweaver: There’s some lube on the table here. Squeeze bottle, not the pump. The blue one on the right. With the water base.

Marvin Milk: No fucking way!

Webweaver: A.G., A.G. [Collapsese in chair] I’ll boof that shit later. [Kneeling over in chair] Fuck. Oh, yeah, really get it up in there, dawg. Oh, yo, yo!

Marvin Milk: What?!

Webweaver: That’s my web hole!

Kimiko Miyashiro: [To Hugh in a superhero costume] You're like a Times Square Elmo.

Hughie Campbell: [Wearing Webweaver's costume] Smells like ass sweat and broken dreams in here.

Tek Knight: [After unmasking Hughie] I know you. You're Hughie Campbell.

Hughie Campbell: Fuck!

Tek Knight: This is actually great news. Not only am I gonna get points for catching you, but before I let the big guy know that you're down here...

Hughie Campbell: Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, um... you were, hey, you were my favorite hero as a kid. Okay? You don't want to do this.

Tek Knight: Everybody always has the same holes. Over and over again, it gets so fucking boring.

Hughie Campbell: Please, I looked up to you.

Tek Knight: Sometimes, you just got to make your own... and then fuck them.

Hughie Campbell: No!

Joe Kessler: When I tell you, you want to do this, I am literally telling you that you want to fucking do this.

Starlight: Wait. Tek Knight has super smell?

Marvin Milk: Yeah. Smell, vision, taste, touch. He's like Sherlock Holmes on meth.

Sister Sage: What happened to you? You look like you got ass-fucked by the business end of a hammer.

Victoria Neuman: Well, maybe I don’t want to be at this CPAC nightmare any more than they want me here.

Homelander: There’s gonna be a little sidebar later on. One percent of the one percent. Sage here is going to lube them up with cognac and Montecristos, and then convince them to commit a little high treason.

Victoria Neuman: I’m sorry, what the fuck? Why would I expose myself like that?

Homelander: Because in this room is 38% of the U.S. GDP. And if we have a shot in hell of pulling off the 25th Amendment, we need them. Do you want to be el jefe or not? Good.

Sister Sage: Now, you’re the virgin at prom. Go get finger-popped. [Walks away]

Homelander: Oh, hey. You hear about Stan Edgar?

Victoria Neuman: Well, what about him?

Homelander: Well, apparently, he got released from prison. Hmm. Details are fairly sketchy as to why. How. But, yeah, he got out. Hasn’t been seen since. Well, he’s nothing if not slippery. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. He can’t hurt us.

Victoria Neuman: Mm-hmm.

Tek-Knight: [Salutes Homelander entering] There’s the big man! The myth, the legend, the symbol of America. [Chuckles] Please. We’re all patriots here.

Homelander: [Walks in] Good evening, sir. How are you? This is Ryan, my son. How’s that gavel, Mr. Speaker?

Senator Calhoun: Well, it, uh, might’ve taken 18 rounds of voting, but we got there, didn’t we? [Laughs] You know, sir, it’s humbling to see your commitment to America. Greatest country on Earth. Can’t wait to see you inherit The Seven one of these days. [Chuckles] Those are mighty big boots to fill.

Ryan: Yeah.

Tek-Knight: Oh, Captain... my captain. It is such an honor to have you here. I mean, the two top heroes together. Can’t you just smell the team-up?

Homelander: You know, Sage and I might need you for the moment, but let’s get one thing straight... there is no team-up. We’re not equals. You’re pathetic. You can’t even fly, for God’s sakes. [To Ryan] Come on, buddy. [Tek-Knight laughs, to Calhoun] Ah! Oh, what a cutup.

Sister Sage: [To Ashley arriving] What part of “you’re an idiot child not welcome at the adult table” do you not understand?

Ashley Barett: Oh, I thought you knew everything. Tek Knight invited me. We go way back.

Tek-Knight: And The Whole Truth got picked up for another season on Vought+. It’s a hit.

Firecracker: Must be, if you got all this.

Tek-Knight: No, you... you don’t get this from entertainment money. This is real money. Eleven generations’ money.

Firecracker: Oh.

Tek-Knight: The Vernon family started out as slave catchers. Now we own more private prisons than any other company in the U.S. of A.

Senator Calhoun: And you sure know how to fill them.

Tek-Knight: From snout to tail, I catch, house, and rehab criminals, and then I catch them all over again. [Laughs] You know, I bet A-Train here would’ve given my great-great-granddaddy a run for his money. Ah?

Firecracker: Oh.

Tek-Knight: But we would’ve caught you.

Firecracker: Ooh. [Laughs]

Tek-Knight: I guess we’ll never know.

Hugh Campbell: [Entering BDSM dungeon] This is the Tek Cave. Cool, cool.

Tek-Knight: Ah, you’ve met Elijah. Raised me since I lost my parents. He’s like a dad to me. Isn’t that right, Elijah?

Elijah: That’s correct, Master Knight.

Tek-Knight: There’s nothing greater than a father’s guiding hand. You know? That’s for sure. Jesus! You didn’t get all the Santorum off the gibbet cage!

Elijah: It’ll be taken care of, sir.

Hugh Campbell: [To a chained moaning victim in a red PVC suit] Who is that?

Tek-Knight: That’s my last sidekick. I don’t like liars. The whole culture down here is based on trust.

Hugh Campbell: Huh.

Tek-Knight: [Notices Hugh's heart beating rapidly] Are you agitated?

Hugh Campbell: No, I’m fine.

Tek-Knight: I get it. This is all a little vanilla for you. But... don’t worry. Tonight, we’re really gonna push ourselves... [shakily inhales] to your level.

The Deep: [Walks in boardroom with Black Noir II drinking sake with feet up on table] Are you fucking nuts?! Put your mask back on! G-Get out of his chair! What are you doing?!

Black Noir II: You know what’s funny? I hate sake. But I’m supposed to follow some stupid Black ninja bullshit, which makes no goddamn sense, by the way. You ever meet a Black ninja?

The Deep: Lower your voice.

Black Noir II: There’s nobody here. They left us like babies so they could go do important stuff. We don’t matter.

The Deep: Hey. Speak for yourself. I’m doing a ton of important shit.

Black Noir II: Yeah? Like what?

The Deep: Need-to-know, bro. Need-to-fucking-know.

Black Noir II: [Gets up and walks] Fuck it. I’m done with all this shit.

The Deep: You’re quitting?! What are you gonna do?! Seven’s the biggest gig there is!

Black Noir II: Look, I don’t understand Noir, okay? You know there was nothing in his closet but literally like seven file boxes of shitty Buster Beaver drawings? Why’d he have that?

The Deep: Who the fuck knows or cares? [Sighs] I’m going to Missouri tomorrow. I booked Cirque de Vought’s new show, VIVANT! Music of the Bee Gees. Three nights a week in Branson. They’re gonna let me fly.

Black Noir II: I can fly, did you know that?

The Deep: Yeah, dude, we all know that. [Walks up] Look, why didn’t you just come to me?

Black Noir II: About what?

The Deep: Seriously? Dude. [Sighs] Man, me and the old Noir? We were like great bros, like real bros. [Sighs, takes sake bottle] Give me this. [Black Noir II sits down] Few years ago, Noir cleared out an entire Indonesian fishing village. Vought Fresh Farms was expanding their palm oil plantation, but the locals were bitching ’cause they needed the river to survive or whatever the fuck. Noir “cancelled” two dozen of ’em. Came back with a raging hard-on for a week. [Black Noir II chuckles] No, dude, see, what you’re not getting is how horny killing made the old Noir. That was his whole thing.

Black Noir II: But I don’t really like violence.

The Deep: [Sighs] Look, I know this is hard to imagine, but... some people laugh at me. [Chuckles] It’s crazy, right?

Black Noir II: Yeah.

The Deep: But you know what I realized? When I crush someone’s nose into the back of their skull or beat ’em so bad that they’ll never walk again? [Chuckles] They’re not laughing anymore. They show respect. Violence is power.

Black Noir II: I’m starting to get why it gave Noir so much chub. [Drinks cup]

Becca Butcher: [To an extremely tormented Billy in the industrial warehouse] Are you all right?

Billy Butcher: I’m fine.

Becca Butcher: How you chopped off an innocent man’s leg... does that sound fine to you?

Billy Butcher: It’s the only way... I’m gonna get a proper crack at Homelander.

Becca Butcher: Have you talked to Ryan? Are you even trying to get him out anymore? Or is... this just the same old bloodlust all over again?

Billy Butcher: Jesus Christ, you’re doing me fucking head in. I’m trying to save the bleedin’ world here. Claret’s gonna get spilt. [Sighs] I can’t do... what needs to be done and keep you happy.

Becca Butcher: Billy, come on. I mean, “saving the world”, really? You’re gonna kill one Homelander... just to end up with another.

Senator Calhoun: Actually, we know if the rape is legitimate. The woman’s body has a way to reject that pregnancy. A nationwide ban on abortion is just good policy.

Victoria Neuman: [Has fantasy of imploding own head, then back to reality] Huh. [Walks away, grabs waiter] Tequila shots. Reposado. Keep ’em coming. [Walks over to Sage] I just had abortion mansplained to me by a man who refuses to be alone with any woman who isn't his wife ... or mistress. I don’t know. I mean, cozying up to these people, you’re fucking asking me to do the impossible here.

Sister Sage: When I was 11, my grandma was diagnosed with Stage 3 chronic lymphocytic leukemia. God... She had the biggest laugh, but she got so small so fast. She was bed-ridden. The doctors didn’t care about saving some old ex-Black Panther and they told my parents there was nothing to be done. I stayed up the next three nights and discovered a cure. Presented my research to those satisfied fat crackers, they patted me on the head, said I was adorable and laughed at me. Grandma died screaming in pain. I could cure cancer, reverse global warming, but what’s the point? Humans are animals. And the lines at Voughtland are too long as it is. [Drinks whole cup]

Victoria Neuman: Why are you telling me this?

Sister Sage: Because you remember what it’s like, being a little girl who no one fucking listens to. And because fuck them all. The only way women like us have ever gotten what we deserved... one hand in their pockets while the other slits their fucking throats. Now... [sighs] you in or out?

Joe Kessler: Oh, goddamn. You really do look like warmed-up shit.

Billy Butcher: Oh, go fuck yourself.

Joe Kessler: Already did. Twice today. Look at how my hand cramped up. [Both chuckles] You know, we got to give Sameer credit.

Billy Butcher: Little fucker’s a tough nut.

Billy Butcher: He’ll crack. Ain’t got no choice.

Joe Kessler: None of us do.

Billy Butcher: What’s that supposed to mean?

Joe Kessler: [Sighs] Man, you want to know what was harder for me than going off on that last tour? Coming home. Applebee’s with Tanya. Helping Joe Jr. with his trig. Fucking towel shopping. [Scoffs and chuckles] Everywhere I looked, I saw the faces, the ruined faces of those men that you and me tortured and killed. But see, I just... I couldn’t square up who I was at home with the shit that I’d done. And then, one night, over... boneless fucking buffalo chicken wings, it came to me. Crystal. That guy that was taking out the trash and watching SportsCenter, that wasn’t me. The real me? The real me likes to hear them scream. So, now, tell me, Billy... who’s the real you?

Hugh Campbell: [Strapped down in Tek-Knight's BDSM dungeon] Should we get back to the party?

Tek-Knight: Oh, this is the party, baby. When that shit upstairs is over, the real movers will come down here. They’ll want to play with you, too.

Ashley Barrett: I’m gonna sit my swollen clit on your stupid masked face and piss like a skunk, and I just had asparagus. [Grunts softly] You want that.

Hugh Campbell: Yes? Yes. [Screams when she spanks him]

Ashley Barrett: I said, you want that, pain slut!

Hugh Campbell: Yes! Yes, Mistress... [screams when she licks his feet]

Ashley Barrett: [Laughs] I’m gonna bite your dick off and cook it! I am 100% a cannibal!

Hugh Campbell: [Screams when she tickles his feet with a feather] Stop! No more! Uncle!

Tek-Knight: If Webweaver wants you to stop, he’ll use his safe word.

Ashley Barrett: I’m gonna feel your pink asshole around my wrist until you shit! [Screams when she tickles his feet with a feather]

Hugh Campbell: Spiderweb!

Ashley Barrett: What?

Hugh Campbell: Oh, sorry, sorry. I just like to shout stuff out while I’m being tickled. I’m so fucking turned on right now!

Ashley Barrett: [Laughs] Yes. [He screams when she tickles his feet with a feather] Yeah. Oh, it’s getting pretty swampy down there. [Feels crotch]

Hugh Campbell: Tarantula!

Firecracker: [Both gasps when they run into each other in hallway] The fuck?

Starlight: I’m not here for you...

Firecracker: Oh, I don’t give two shits what you’re here for. Oh, I should call Homelander right now to come and laser your tits off.

Starlight: Fuck.

Firecracker: [Walks to Starlight] Why don’t you come over here and try and sucker punch me now, bitch?

Starlight: Look, you were right.

Firecracker: No, don’t go trying to apologize to me. I’m about to change your fucking life. [Snaps fingers and creates a spark]

Starlight: I’m sorry for what I did to you when we were kids...

Firecracker: Let me guess, that was Starlight, right? And that’s not you anymore? [Pins Starlight against window]

Starlight: No. No. I tried to run away from Starlight, tried to leave her behind, like she was a different person, but she’s me. She’s all me, and I said those fucking awful, awful things to you. And if I’m being honest, to other girls too, and I... [inhales] Look, it doesn’t forgive you for being a cunt for what you did. But for my end of things... I’m sorry. I am. I am so sorry.

Firecracker: [Starlight plunges hypodermic needle into Firecracker's neck and she gasps] You fucking whore!

Hugh Campbell: [Being tortured] Oh, John Henry!

Tek-Knight: [Passionately kissing Ashley] God, you still got it, mommy. You still got it.

Tek-Knight: You having a good time?

Hugh Campbell: Oh, yeah.

Tek-Knight: Yeah?

Hugh Campbell: Yeah. Just so much dried cum. You just, uh, you tap my undies, they’ll shatter like peanut brittle, man. [Groans] Hey, so, did I get the gig? [Grunts] Damn it!

Tek-Knight: Just one last thing. What’s your safe word?

Hugh Campbell: Uh... uh, you know, uh, I’m actually, I’m probably gonna save that for something I-I really can’t handle, but yeah, I’m good.

Tek-Knight: You’re trembling.

Hugh Campbell: Mm-mm.

Tek-Knight: Your body’s riddled by horripilation. Come on. It’s the thing that you love the most. Say it.

Hugh Campbell: Lube?

Tek-Knight: [Pulls off head mask] I know you. You’re Hughie Campbell.

Hugh Campbell: Fuck!

Tek-Knight: This is actually great news. [Opens chest] Not only am I gonna get points for catching you, [brings over tray of surgical instruments] but before I let the big guy know that you’re down here.

Hugh Campbell: Wait, wait, [repeatedly] wait a minute... um... you were, hey, you were my favorite hero as a kid! Okay? You don’t want to do this!

Tek-Knight: Everybody always has the same holes. Over and over again, it gets so fucking boring.

Hugh Campbell: Please, I looked up to you!

Tek-Knight: Sometimes, you just got to make your own. And then fuck them. [Strains]

Hugh Campbell: No! [Screams]

Marvin Milk: [Meets Kimiko] Where’s Annie? [Refers to wall along staircase portraits] Hughie said orchids, right? [Opens door and surprises Sage] Ah. Don’t you fucking move! Kimiko, find Tek-Knight’s stupid fucking secret passage book. [Kimiko rushes to book shelf and pulls off books]

Sister Sage: All I have to do is scream.

Marvin Milk: Be the last thing you do. You’re smart, but you ain’t bulletproof.

Sister Sage: But if you kill me, you’d have to look Janine in the eye.

Marvin Milk: I said; stop fucking moving!

Sister Sage: Doesn’t she have enough problems? Expelled. Told a boy to “eat a bag of dicks” and then broke his arm?

Marvin Milk: You’ve been watching my daughter?

Sister Sage: I mean, she gets that from you. Chip off the old block.

Marvin Milk: Shut the fuck up!

Sister Sage: She has anger issues. Early signs of OCD. You see that, right?

Marvin Milk: I said shut up!

Sister Sage: You’ve cursed the poor girl. [Runs to door]

Marvin Milk: No. [Shoots Sage in head who falls to floor, Kimiko opens door by Marquis de Sade's The 120 Days of Sodom and then himself falls to floor and Kimiko runs off]

A-Train: [Enters room] Y’all are supposed to be undercover! [Sees Marvin lying on floor] What the fuck did you do?! [Checks Marvin's vital signs] Shit! Damn! [Kimiko holds up a book entitled "Hospital Sketches", covers lower word] Oh, fuck no! I’m not taking him! You’re gonna get me murdered! [Kimiko holds up Agatha Christie's Easy to Kill] Just try it, bitch. [Attempts to walk past her, she holds his chest and holds up a book entitled "For The Sake Of His Daughter"] Get the door.

Stargirl: [Enters with A-Train carrying Marvin out] What the hell just happened?

Tek-Knight: [Preparing to cut open Hugh] No matter what happens, I want you to keep fighting. [Stargirl and Kimiko enter, with Kimiko kicking Tek-Knight across the room knocking him out]

Homelander: What is going on? Hmm? Tek-Knight, A-Train, Firecracker, they’re all M.I.A., and where the fuck have you been?

Sister Sage: I once ate a whole bag of candy corn.

Homelander: What?

Sister Sage: In my mouth.

Homelander: [Notices bullet hole in her temple] Sage, what the fuck... what happened to you?

Sister Sage: Brain damage. But now, I could really go for a Crunchwrap Supreme and a Sybian.

Homelander: Hey, hey, hey. Look at me. Hmm? Get a grip on yourself right now. Get a fucking grip. Right now. Come on, come on. Fuck it. Fuck it. I’ll do it myself. [Announces to guests in room and walks forth] Folks. Thank you for coming. I’m sure you’re wondering why we pulled you aside, so let’s get right to it. [Sighs] I think we can all agree that Robert Singer is the greatest threat this nation has ever faced. He is going to destroy this whole country. You all met Ryan, my son. For his sake, I cannot and I will not let that stand.

Senator Calhoun: Does she agree?

Homelander: Of course. Especially her. She’s not just eye candy. [Walks over to her and places hand on her shoulder] No, no, Victoria here, she’s an integral part of the plan. She sees up close what a doddering slave to the woke mob Singer really is. How great the threat really is. So once he’s in office, we need to act. We need to invoke the Twenty-fifth Amendment.

Senator Calhoun: You’re- you’re talking about a coup.

Homelander: No, I’m not. I’m talking about saving this country. Before Singer replaces us with a bunch of transgender illegals that will do everything... save the boogeyman shit for the idiots watching VNN.

Legal conservative woman: How do you propose to handle the Justice Department?

Homelander: Well, they will all... be our appointees? Obviously.

Senator Calhoun: And the military’s reaction?

Oil & Gas Billionaire: Or OPEC. How you gonna guarantee our oil reserves?

Homelander: Of course there’s gonna be some birth pangs... The shock to the markets would be total. And what happens if civil servants resign en masse?

Senator Calhoun: With all due respect, sir, I think you got a little hitch in your giddy-up. Who’s handling all this?

Homelander: [Stammers] Great question. This is great. Great questions. Truly. And, um, uh, Sage. Sage, um... has the details.

Victoria Neuman: Who's handling all this? Me. I fucking am. Look, I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm here tonight instead of rimming out AOC while shouting "defund the police" up her asshole. [Chuckles] But I’m here tonight to tell you the truth. The truth is America is not a democracy. The word “democracy” makes people feel safe. But the founders never trusted the masses, because the truth is, the masses are fucking stupid. Anyone who owns a “Live, Laugh, Love” mug shouldn’t have a say in how a country is run. People are a labor force that need a kind, but firm hand. There are no nations. There’s Apple, Exxon and Berkshire Hathaway. Corporations are the real superpowers here. You should be able to operate without any regulation or restriction whatsoever. After all, you’re billionaires. You are smart enough to know what’s best. Bottom line? You support me, and that is what you’ll fucking get.

Oil & Gas Billionaire: [Raises glass] Hear, hear.

Party guests: [Raising glasses] Hear, hear.

Daphne Campbell: Who the fuck are your friends?

The Deep: Violence is power.

Billy Butcher: I'm trying to save the world here. Claret's gonna get spilt.

Tek Knight: No matter what happens, I want you to keep fighting.

Firecracker: Our top story: Are Jewish space lasers brainwashing you into joining their shows?

Hughie Campbell: How do you torture a masochist?

Legal Conservative: Save the boogie man shit for the idiots watching VNN.

Doctor: Whatever you're doing, stop it.

Hughie Campbell: He's talking about internment camps.

Firecracker: There's my good little boy.

Hughie Campbell: She said so many hopeful things.

Firecracker: This isn't about sex. This is about royalty.

Sameer Shah: To make the virus strong enough to kill Homelander would evolve it into something unstable.

Billy Butcher: What do you mean, unstable?

Sameer Shah: Airborne. Highly contagious. Super lethal. No one with Compound V in their bloodstream would be safe.

Joe Kessler: A global fucking pandemic.

Sameer Shah: We’re not just talking about killing Homelander. We’re talking about killing every Supe on earth. That’s Annie, Kimiko. Ryan. Vicky. Zoe. I’m sorry. But when they say shit’s falling into the wrong hands... they mean your hands.

Joe Kessler: This is beyond our wildest dreams, man. Dude just gave us a silver bullet; we can wipe them all out!

Becca: Billy, you cannot go along with this.

Butcher: Listen, mate. No one ever said nothing about genocide.

Kessler: Is that a fucking joke?

Becca: He's insane!

Kessler: Who was it who said "they all gotta go, every fucking last one of 'em"?

Becca: He's talking about murder, Billy! Of thousands!

Kessler: Think how much better off the world will be.

Becca: And a lot of them are innocent, okay? I know you--

Kessler: Shut your fucking cakehole, bitch!

Butcher: Wait a minute... [stammers] You can see her? [Reality reveals the absence of Joe and Becca] What the fuck’s that supposed to mean, "you're me"?

Joe Kessler: I mean, out of all the fucking people that your festering fucked-up brain could’ve conjured up, you picked me! The real Joe Kessler? He’s dead in the Panjshir Valley, motherfucker! You never dragged me out! You left me to die!

[Billy's flashbacks reveals non existence of Joe]

Billy Butcher: No. No. No, I’d remember that. I’d fucking remember that.

Joe Kessler: Unless of course you’ve got a big, old, fat, V’d-up brain tumor, you cunt. Which is why you are seeing me in the first place. I killed Ezekiel for you. I am inside of you. I am you. Which is why when I tell you you want to do this, I am literally telling you that you fucking want to do this. So don’t you worry, Billy, my boy. [Pats Billy] Daddy’s home. [Walks away]

"The Insider" [4.07]

A-Train: You think Homelander and Vought and all of this shit ain't coming to Belize?

Ambrosius: [Sighs] “Sometimes the way you get them is the way you lose them.”

The Deep: Why are you quoting Lisa Vanderpump?

Ambrosius: I know. About Sage.

The Deep: What are you talking about? Sage?

Ambrosius: Don’t patronize me, Kevin. I’ve known for a while. My suckers can smell her on you after your trysts. Like the one you’re coming from now. I love you so much. Your gentle heart, your fearless writing. Can you honestly say she feels the same?

The Deep: Look, I don’t know what to tell you right now!

Ambrosius: Try the truth. It’s not too late. This is worth fighting for, we’re worth fighting for! There’s no way Sage cares about you the way that I do!

The Deep: She says that I’m a superior being! And she has four limbs.

Ambrosius: That is not fair!

The Deep: Yeah, well, it is what it is.

Ambrosius: That’s a dumb, nothing phrase, spoken by--

The Deep: Dumb people? Dumb people?! I hate it when you get nasty!

Ambrosius: Well, what choice do I have, when you’re rubbing my face in it?!

The Deep: Oh, what, that I’m happy for once?! I’m sorry!

Ambrosius: I feel sorry for you!

The Deep: For me? [Laughs] For me?! Look at you!

Ambrosius: You won’t be laughing when you realize she doesn’t respect you!

The Deep: She does respect me!

Ambrosius: Wake up, Kevin. She’s using you! You’re throwing us away for a woman who thinks you’re pathetic!

The Deep: You shut the fuck up!

[The Deep smashes Ambrosius aquarium and he closes the closet door and slumps to floor in fetal position]

The Deep: I finally have clarity now.

Homelander: Good.

The Deep: I will kill whoever you want me to kill, whenever you want me to kill them. I’ll kill every goddamn fish in the ocean if you say so.

Homelander: Okay. Attaboy. Um... well, get to it.

A-Train: [To Marvin Milk] You know, when I carried your ass to the ER, there was a kid there. His eyes were like... "Holy shit." Looking at me... like I was a hero. There were no screaming fans, no cameras. Nobody even knew. Except for this one kid. That felt better than anything that I'd ever done at Vought. Because for once... I didn't hate myself.

The Deep: Bro?

Black Noir II: Bro! Bro?

The Deep: Bro. Bro!

Black Noir II: Bro.

Marvin Milk: A-Train, you don't get it, do you, man? This fight that we're in? This never fucking ends. It killed my father. It killed his father. And look at what it's doing to me. It's tearing me the fuck apart. Just like it did them. You know, I look in the mirror... and I don't even see myself no more. I got nothing left. Except my family.

Frenchie: I'd rather fuck a jar of fishing lures than to be free.

Frenchie: Butcher won't be happy. Then it must be the right thing to do.

Frenchie: Necessity is the MILF of invention.

Ryan: We're telling kids to report on their own parents.

Ashley Barrett: If the CEO wants to get shitfaced at 11 am, I am.

Homelander: Go back to your little litter box in Detroit and die alone.

Sister Sage: Look at Daisy Duck Dynasty doing math.

Joe Kessler: If your love was so perfect and pure, why'd you fuck that waitress?

Sister Sage: He was the perfect misinformation delivery system.

A-Train: Button it up. Now.

The Deep: I do not respect your truth. I do not honor and cherish your story. I do not fucking apologize.

A-Train: Puppeteer: See something, say something. Report that groomer when he comes for you.

Billy Butcher: Fuckin' supe shape shifters!

The Deep: What's up, cumburgers?

Black Noir II: Eat a flying dick, motherfu...

Ryan: Stop, stop, stop! This song isn't cool. Well, honestly, none of this is cool.

Ashley: Go to fucking commercial!

Ryan: No, don't go to commercial. Keep rolling, please. Your family isn't your enemy. Your family's all you've got. I've been thinking about my mom a lot lately. She died. But she loved Christmas, and s'mores with Resses, and terms of endearment. And she loved her husband, Billy. But she wouldn't love this. She wouldn't want me doing it! My mom always told me to tell the truth. Which is why... I'm sorry.

"Season Four Finale / Assassination Run" [4.08]

Kessler: You know, if you need any help...

Butcher: Don't need your help.

Kessler: Really? Seems to me, you are shitting in a bed-pan and days away from being planted. And what do you have to show for it? I mean, Singer? He's as good as dead. Homelander? He won! And you? You gave away the virus... the one fucking weapon that could've stopped him! But we are gonna turn that frown upside-down, my friend. You know why? 'Cause you still have me!

Butcher: You ain't even fuckin' real.

Kessler: Well, now, that's an interesting philosophical question. See, what is real are the fucking V'd up tumors mushrooming inside your guts and noggin. Super cancer! What is real is that piece of you that wants to burn every fucking Supe on Earth. How is it you think you ripped Ezekiel into fun-sized little chunks? I'm the one that gave you the juice that you needed. And I can do it again. All you have to do... is hold up your end of the bargain.

Butcher: Bargain? What fucking bargain?

Kessler: You go all the way. I mean, come on, champ. What's a little genocide between friends?

The Deep: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry, bro, you're on the list.

Evan: Don't kill me. I can pay you!

The Deep: You're a writer, you don't get paid shit.

Evan: Please! I'll do anything...!

The Deep: Anything? Tell me that I am the smartest superhero in The Seven.

Evan: You are, by far, the smartest superhero in The Seven. Y- You're brilliant! A genius!

The Deep: And that you respect me the most? Besides Homelander, of course.

Evan: Of course! Of course I respect you, you're amazing!

The Deep: You're just saying that because you're scared, aren't you?

Evan: No, I'm not, I swear.

The Deep: Yeah, you are. But you know what, bro? That's good enough for me.

Starlight: That’s the Annie you want. Down to go down whenever. The perfect girl. Not someone who is depressed or fucked-up or comes with any complications.

Hugh Campbell: You want to know how I knew it wasn’t you? In the apartment, she wore some designer dress, and you always ditch your bra for sweats as soon as you get home. She found your car keys on the first try, and you have never, ever found your car keys in under 15 minutes. But the final clue; in the bunker, she was sweating, and you have always been and always be 90% pashmina. I love that about you.

Homelander: We have not failed. I will end Singer myself if I have to. You will be president, and you will go along with every word I say as if my hand was jammed up your tight, puckered little asshole, like the puppet you've always been. And Victoria, if you stray even an inch off that path, I will make sure Zoe knows nothing but pain for the rest of her life, and I will send you a piece of her every year for the fucking rest of yours! There is. No. Fail!

Frenchie: Stop. Stop. It’s suicide.

Billy Butcher: I’ll be taking that virus now, thanks, Frenchie.

Frenchie: Ain’t no fucking way. You took V?

Billy Butcher: It will work on you, too. [Sighs] If I were you lot, I wouldn’t hang about. Oh, by the way... you're all fucking welcome.

Homelander: Everything's turned to shit. Plan's dead.

Sister Sage: This is the plan. I mean, sure, a few curve-balls, but uh... we got here. Just had to keep a few bits to myself. You know, the bits you'd fuck up by... y'know, being you.

Sister Sage: We had a deal.

Homelander: Yeah, well I broke the deal.

Sister Sage: I didn't. I told you, you could trust me, boo. I got your back.

Homelander: I-I threw you out like... like garbage. Why would you do this?

Sister Sage: To see if I could. Thank you! This was so much fun! Just, y'know, next time, listen to me.

Homelander: "Next time"?

Sister Sage: Oh, hells yeah, Blonde Ambition! Buckle up for phase two.