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The Big Store

1941 Marx Brothers film by Charles Reisner

The Big Store is a 1941 film about a detective who is hired to protect the life of a singer who has recently inherited a department store.

Directed by Charles Reisner. Written by Nat Perrin.
Where everything is a good buy. Goodbye!  (taglines)

Wolf J. Flywheel

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  • It's a gift from a grateful client. They hanged him last year.

Dialogue

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Martha Phelps: Tell me, what would you want to handle this case for me?
Wolf J. Flywheel: Twenty thousand dollars.
Martha Phelps: Don't you think that's too much?
Wolf J. Flywheel: Of course it is, only a cheap chisler would ask that much.
Martha Phelps: I was prepared to pay five hundred dollars.
Wolf J. Flywheel: Oddly enough, I'm prepared to take it. Shall we bind the deal with a kiss? Or, five dollars in cash? You lose either way.
Mr. Grover: What experience have you had at a department store?
Wolf J. Flywheel: I was a shoplifter for three years.
Woman: Can you tell me the price of this bed?
Wolf J. Flywheel: Eight thousand dollars.
Woman: Why that's preposterous! I can get the same bed anywhere in town for twenty five dollars.
Wolf J. Flywheel: Yes, but not with me in it!
Martha Phelps: Tell me, Wolfie dear, will we have a beautiful home?
Wolf J. Flywheel: Of course. You're not planning on moving, are you?
Martha Phelps: No, but I'm afraid after we're married awhile, a beautiful young girl will come along, and, uh, you'll forget all about me.
Wolf J. Flywheel: Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Wolf J. Flywheel: [lying in a bed in The Big Store, when Guiseppi, his wife, and their 12 children surround the bed.] What other hobbies have you got?
Guiseppi: Eh, we like-a to see something different in a bed.
Wolf J. Flywheel: You would? Just press that button over by the davenport.
Guiseppi: Where is the davenport?
Wolf J. Flywheel: It's in Iowa.
Wolf J. Flywheel: Hey, what's the difficulty here?
Guiseppi: Look, I no get excited like-a my wife; but, I come in here with twelve-a kids and now there only six. What happened my six kids?
Wolf J. Flywheel: What are their draft numbers?
Guiseppi: Look-a there only six-a kids and I know I gotta twelve-a kids!
Wolf J. Flywheel: Twelve kids, eh? How much you make a week?
Guiseppi: Eh, eh, twenty-five dollars.
Wolf J. Flywheel: You can't afford to have twelve kids!
Guiseppi: No tell me what I can ford! The only thing I know-a is, I gotta twelve-a kids and now there only six!
Wolf J. Flywheel: My good man, statistics prove it costs five dollars a week to provide for a child. Twelve times five is sixty dollars. You only make twenty-five dollars a week! It's economically impossible for you to have twelve children!
Mr. Grover: If Ms. Phelps were not my fiancée, I would turn in my resignation and walk out of this store for good!
Martha Phelps: Oh no, no...
Wolf J. Flywheel: Fiancée?
Martha Phelps: Yes.
Wolf J. Flywheel: You mean a woman of your culture and money and beauty and money and wealth and money would, would marry that impostor?
Fred Sutton: Wake up! The killers are in the store!
Wolf J. Flywheel: Well, why doesn't somebody wait on them?
Ravelli: I take-a your picture. Hey! Look at me and laugh.
Wolf J. Flywheel: I've been doing that for 20 years.
Wolf J. Flywheel: Martha, dear, there are many bonds that will hold us together through eternity.
Martha Phelps: Really, Wolf? What are they?
Wolf J. Flywheel: Your government bonds, your savings bonds, your liberty bonds.
Wolf J. Flywheel: [Flywheel has mistaken the Hastings brothers for the killers and handcuffed them] There you are. I give you the killers.
Tommy Rogers: Why, it's the Hastings brothers, the men who are going to buy the store.
Wolf J. Flywheel: Gentlemen, I'm terribly sorry, but it's really not my fault. You certainly do look like crooks.
Mr. Grover: What is this man? A detective? A floorwalker? Or, a poet?
Wolf J. Flywheel: All three. And not bad at making love. Eh, Martha? [tickles Martha's chin] Woo-hoo!
Wolf J. Flywheel: So, you didn't think I was a real detective, eh?
Mr. Grover: Aw, if you're a detective, I'm a monkey's uncle.
Wolf J. Flywheel: Keep your family out of this!
Tommy Rogers: We can have a party, just like they do in Hollywood.
Ravelli: That's-a fine! Let there be wine!
Wolf J. Flywheel: And women!
Ravelli: And song!
Wolf J. Flywheel: And women!
Ravelli: And caviar!
Wolf J. Flywheel: And women!
Ravelli: And more women!

Taglines

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  • Gorgeous Girls! Uproarious Fun! The Big Musical Show!
  • With gorgeous girls! Cute cut-ups! Lovely lasses!
  • Where everything is a good buy. Goodbye!
  • Song hits galore! 1000 laughs to a customer. Sale on howls! Sensational close-out on roars! Special fun and music bargains. Hurry hurry every laugh must go! No mail or phone orders please! Beauties and cuties!

Cast

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