The Adventures of Tintin (film)

The Adventures of Tintin is a 2011 3D motion capture computer-animated epic adventure film based on the comic series of the same name.

Directed by Steven Spielberg. Screenplay by Steven Moffat, Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish.

This year, discover how far adventure will take you.

TintinEdit

[repeated line] Great snakes!
We can't turn back. Not now. Not now.
Well, this is fine mess.
And to think, all it took was a day in the Sahara. Congratulations, Captain, you're sober.
How's your thirst for adventure, Captain?

Captain HaddockEdit

Billions of blistering blue barnacles!
Nobody takes MY ship!
Failed? There are plenty of others willing to call you a failure. A fool, a loser, a hopeless souse. Don't you ever say it of yourself. You send out the wrong signal, that is what people pick up. Don't you understand? You care about something, you fight for it. You hit a wall, you push through it. There's something you need to know about failure, Tintin. You can never let it defeat you.
Thundering typhoons!
[after being nearly shot by enemy plane] Troglodytes! Slave traders! Landlubbers! Politicians!
These young folks, ain't no stamina these days.
[on seeing Snowy] Ahhhh! A giant rat of Sumatra!
FUMES!
I have a beard? Since when did I have a beard?!

Ivanovich SakharineEdit

Do you think it was an accident I took Haddock's ship, Haddock's crew, Haddock's treacherous first mate? Nothing is an accident!
We go back a long way, Captain Haddock and I. So much unfinished business. And this time, I'm going to make him pay.
The legend says only a Haddock is able to find the treasure... but it took a Rackham to get the job done!
Go ahead, have a drink. It's all you've got left!
Oh, it's good you remember, Haddock. As soon as you got your memory back, killing you drunk wouldn't have been as much fun!
Faster you idiot! Faster!

DialogueEdit

Tintin: [sees The Unicorn model ship in mirror reflection] Snowy, look at this. [views model ship in glass case] Tripled masted. Double decks. Fifty guns. Isn't she a beauty?

Peddler: It's a very unique specimen, that is. An old sea captain's estate.

Tintin: [reads label] "The Unicorn."

Peddler: The Unicorn. Many wars sailed that ship. That's very old, that is. Built in the sixteenth century.

Tintin: Seventeenth, I would think.

Peddler: Named by Charles the First.

Tintin: Charles the Second.

Peddler: That's what I said, Charles the Second.

Allan: Mr Tin...tin?

Tintin: Yes, that's me.

Allan: Delivery for ya.

Tintin: But I didn't order anything.

Allan: That's because it's you that's gettin' delivered. [smothers Tintin with chloroform and stuffs him into the crate]

Sakharine: Where is it?

Tintin: [regains consciousness] Where's what?

Sakharine: [bangs cane against cage] Oh, I am tired of your games. The scrolls from the unicorn. A piece of paper like this. [shows Tintin scroll]

Tintin: You mean the poem.

Sakharine: Yes.

Tintin: The poem written in Old English.

Sakharine: Yes.

Tintin: It was inside a cylinder.

Sakharine: Yes.

Tintin: Concealed in the mast.

Sakharine: Yes!

Tintin: ...I don't have it.

Captain Haddock: [wakes up from his drunkenness and notices Snowy, jumps] Ahhhhh! A giant rat of Sumatra. [sees Tintin stumbling into his room through the window; brandishes a bent pipe, thinking he's an intruder] So, you think you can sneak up behind me, and catch me wi' my trousers down, huh?

Tintin: [dodging Haddock's blows] I would rather keep your trousers on, if it's all the same to you.

Captain Haddock: I know you're here. You're one of them!

Tintin: Sorry?

Captain Haddock: He sent you here to kill me!

Tintin: Look, I don't know who you are!

Captain Haddock: That was his plan, to bump me off! Murder me in my bed by a baby-faced assassin![Snowy bites his ankle, tries to shake him off] Arrgh!

Tintin: Assassin? Look, you've got it all wrong! [Captain Haddock and Tintin stops fighting] I was kidnapped by a gang of thugs. [drops rod]

Captain Haddock: [cries comically] Oh, the filthy swine! He's turned the whole crew against me!

Tintin: Who?

Captain Haddock: The sour-faced man with the sugary name. He's bumped them all off, every last of'em.

Tintin: Sakharine!

Captain Haddock: Nobody takes MY ship!

Tintin: You're the captain?

Captain Haddock: Of course, I'm the captain. Who else can I be? [Tintin shushes him] I've been locked in this room for days, with only whiskey to sustain my mortal soul. [Tintin reveals door is not locked, looks at Haddock exasperatingly] Oh...I assumed it was locked.

Tintin: Well, it's not. Now you must excuse me, if they find me here, they'll kill me. We have to keep moving, try to find my way off this drunken tub [leaves Haddock's room with a bang of the door].

Captain Haddock:[taken aback] Tub?!

Tintin: Captain, can you get us to Bagghar?

Captain Haddock: What sort of a stupid question is that? [gets up] Give me those oars! I'll show you some real seamanship, laddie! I'll not be doubted by some pipsqueak tuft of ginger and his irritating dog. I am master and commander of the seas! I know these seas better than the warts on my mother's face.

Captain Haddock: Tintin, wake up. Come warm yourself, laddie.

Tintin: [regains consciousness; alarmed] Captain, what have you done?!

Captain Haddock: [warms hands] You looked a little cold, so I lit a wee fire.

Tintin: IN A BOAT?!

Tintin: [looking in pistol] Bad news, captain. We've only got one bullet.

Captain Haddock: What's the good news?

Tintin: [aims pistol at enemy plane] We've got ONE bullet. [shoots at the plane, sending it crashing in the sea]

Captain Haddock: You do know what you're doing, do you?

Tintin: Um, more or less. [starts up plane]

Captain Haddock: Well, which is it, more or less?

Tintin: Relax, I interviewed a pilot once.

[Thomson and Thompson have discovered Aristides Silk's collection of stolen wallets]

Aristides: I'm not a bad person! I'm a kleptomaniac.

Thomson: [to Thompson] A what?

Thompson: It's a fear of open spaces.

Thomson: Poor man, no wonder he keeps his wallets in the living room.

Captain Haddock: Nobody takes my ship!

Tintin: They've already taken it.

Captain Haddock: But nobody takes my ship TWICE! So what's our next plan?

Tintin: There is no plan.

Captain Haddock: Of course there's a plan. you've always got a plan.

Tintin: Not this time. Sakharine got the scrolls. He's headed for the treasure. Could be anywhere in the world. We'll never see him again. It's over.

Captain Haddock: I thought you were an optimist.

Tintin: Well, you were wrong, weren't you? I'm a realist.

Captain Haddock: Ah, that's just another name for a quitter.

Tintin: You can call me what you like. Don't you get it? We failed.

Captain Haddock: Failed. There are plenty of others willing to call you a failure. A fool. A loser. A hopeless souse. Don't you ever say it of yourself. You send out the wrong signal, that is what people pick up. Don't you understand? You care about something, you fight for it. You hit a wall, you push through it. There's something you need to know about failure, Tintin. You can never let it defeat you.

[Thomson and Thompson rescue Sakharine from the water and into a boat]

Thomson: We have you now, you devil. You are under arrest!

Thompson: To be precised, you're under arrest.

[Sakharine simply puts his hands in the air slowly and accepts defeat]