The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle

2000 film directed by Des McAnuff

The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle is a comedy film released in 2000, starring De Niro, Russo, Alexander, Moose and Squirrel.

DialogueEdit

[Over stock footage of various historical events in a parody of a newsreel plays in a theater]
Narrator: [first lines] 1964: A crucial moment in American history: Lyndon Johnson is re-elected to the presidency by a landslide, the New York World's Fair introduces a bright new future. [scene cuts to show Bullwinkle pulling Rocky from his hat] And after 5 scintillating years on the air,
Bullwinkle J. Moose: Presto!
Narrator: The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show is abruptly canceled.
Rocket "Rocky" J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle: [shocked] Canceled?!
[The duo is pulled away by a vaudeville hook as two janitors come by to clean up the mess]
Narrator: Uh, sorry about that, boys.
[The screen cuts to a card reading "TODAY", followed by shots of more recent live-action footage]
Narrator: A lot has changed in 35 years: Velcro has replaced the zipper, sneakers have lights on them, the Cold War is over, and The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show is still cancelled.
[As the duo get pulled away again, the newsreel ends as a hobo yawn and exits the theater. Cut to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota where things are looking lively with the locals]
Narrator: Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, once the beloved home of Rocky and Bullwinkle had been a thriving cartoon town. [crossfade to a "third-world country version" of Frostbite Falls] Now, it was crippled by years of reruns.

[Rocky and Bullwinkle's arch-rivals, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale, and their leader, Fearless Leader, have transformed from animated characters into live action]
Minnie Mogul: Hey! How did that happen?
Fearless Leader: We are attached to the project.

[as Karen Sympathy, a beautiful FBI agent, activates "The Rocky and Bullwinkle Movie" in a studio lighthouse, a green light shines from a projector. Cuts back to Frostbite Falls where Rocky and Bullwinkle spot it]
Rocky: What's happening?
Bullwinkle: Cobs and shuckins, Rock! The president must be beaming us to Washington!
Rocky: That's not the president, Bullwinkle, that's a green light from Hollywood. Those TV people must've changed their minds.
[The green light hits Rocky and Bullwinkle]
Rocky and Bullwinkle: Whoa!!!!!!!
Narrator's Mother: [as the green light takes her son with them] Goodbye, Sonny!
Narrator: I'll be back for hiatus, Ma!
Bullwinkle: Hang on, Rocky!!
Narrator: Mama!!!!!
[Rocky and Bullwinkle, now in C.G.I. animation, get sucked into the projector of the lighthouse. They get dropped out into the room of the lighthouse]
Rocky: Hokey smoke! Are you alright?
Bullwinkle: Yeah, but I think we're on the wrong show. Look how well they drew that girl.
Karen Sympathy: It's you. It's really you! Rocky… and Bull-- Bull-- Bull--
Bullwinkle: I believe the word you're searching for is "winkle".
Karen: Bullwinkle.
Rocky: Hey, what network are you from?
Karen: I'm not from any network. Agent Karen Sympathy, FBI.

Fearless Leader: Silence! [a message from the White House has arrived] It's a message from the mole at the White House!
Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale: Moose and Squirrel!
Fearless Leader: [tearing the message but throws it on the floor] Moose and Squirrel. How many times in the past they stood me and my dreams of glory? How many times have they foiled my plans with their bungling interference?
Boris: Uh, 28?
Fearless Leader: Quiet, idiot! They must never reach New York alive. Destroy them personally.
Boris: After 30 years of waiting, another chance to crush Moose and Squirrel! [kisses Fearless Leader's hand]
Natasha: Oh, Fearless Leader, you are so good to us! [kisses Fearless Leader's other hand]

[Karen, Rocky and Bullwinkle spot Boris and Natasha with a cannon]
Karen: What's with the cannon?
Boris and Natasha: It's traditional!
[Boris lights the fuse on the cannon]
Rocky and Bullwinkle: RUN!!!! [run off]

[The cannon doesn't fire]
Boris and Natasha: [looking at each other in confusion] Where is the boom?

Narrator: [as Boris and Natasha see a helicopter] Oh, damn! Never mind.

Narrator: Yes, Boris and Natasha were back in business, but they have no way of discovering the route our heroes have taken and-- [Boris snatches the map from the fourth wall] Hey! You can't do that!

Rocky: [after he saved Karen from falling while Bullwinkle flies on the airplane] Hang on, Karen! Hang on! If I could just--
[Rocky carries Karen by her legs and back]
Karen: Rocky! You're flying! You're flying!
Rocky: Yes, I am! I certainly am! New York City, here we come!

Cappy von Trapment: [to Bullwinkle, while wearing his mask and headphones at the White House] Bullwinkle, don't watch! Bullwinkle! Oh, no, not you, too!

Cappy von Trapment: Bullwinkle, allow me to be frank.
Bullwinkle: OK, Frank, allow me to be Bullwinkle.
Cappy "Frank" von Trapment: [shaking Bullwinkle's hand] I'm Cappy Von Trapment, FBI.
Bullwinkle: I thought you said your name was Frank.
Frank: Shut up, Bullwinkle!
Bullwinkle: OK, Frank.
Frank: As we speak, 99% of the country is slobbering in front of the television.
Bullwinkle: What's so strange about that?
Frank: Listen to me! We haven't heard from Karen. I think she and Rocky are in terrible danger. Let's get you to New York!
Bullwinkle: I thought this was New York.
Frank: No, Bullwinkle, that's Washington out there! That's Washington!
Bullwinkle: [looking at President Signoff] Really? Where's that little white wig he always wears?
Frank: [annoyed] Oh, it's no use.

Bullwinkle: If only there were some ways of transmitting computer-generated animated characters across great distances in the blink of an eye.
Frank: Bullwinkle, that's it!
Bullwinkle: It is?
Frank: Yes, it's our only chance! We're gonna E-mail you to Karen in New York.
Bullwinkle: OK, but don't you think she'd rather get flowers?
Frank: Just shut up and hold on!
Bullwinkle: OK.
Frank: [grabbing Bullwinkle and is about to shove him inside the computer scanner drive] 1, 2…
Bullwinkle: 3!

Bucky Weasel: Look, I'm hanging four! Surf's up, dude!
Bullwinkle: Hang on, Rocky! I'm coming!

Boris Badenov: FEARLESS LEADER, MOOSE IS LOOSE!!!
Fearless Leader: GET THEM!!!!!!

[last lines]
Bullwinkle: Bye!
Rocky: Bye-bye!

CastEdit

Character VoicesEdit

Live-Action CharactersEdit

External LinksEdit