- [Literature is] an organised violence committed on ordinary speech.
- From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend to read it.
- If my books had been any worse I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better I should not have come.
- The covers of this book are too far apart.
- We have met too late. You are too old for me to have any effect on you.
- Where were you fellows when the paper was blank?
- Fred Allen, after writers had heavily edited his script
- Why don't you write books people can read?
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