I can tell you that tonight in Des Moines, Iowa, my home town, people all across the city will be putting a hand to their ears and saying "What is that sound?", and it will be the sound of Mr De Vito, my High School Careers Officer, spinning in his grave.
Address at investiture as Chancellor of the University of Durham; unidentified transcript source
I was asked what I would like to be said of me in a hundred years from now. I replied "...and he's still sexually active!"
Address at the Reform Club, London, 2006
I have always wanted to know why, wherever archaeologists dig, do they always find red and white poles?
Opening address at 50 Years of Durham Archaeology Conference, June 2007
