I thought the runway was longer than that! (When Lord Sugar overshot the runway at Manchester City airfield)
Fair? The only fair you're gonna get is your bloody train fare!
I don't think too many people would want my job. I'm a bit of a nutter.
I just don't know whether you're some sort of bloody nutter.
I've got a gut feeling in my stomach.
I've written books on advertising... cheque books.
Once you decide to work for yourself, you never go back to work for somebody else.
Never ever try to under-estimate me because you will be making a fatal, fatal error. I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullshitters, I don't like schmoozers, I don't like arse-lickers.
The money coming into the game [football] is incredible. But it is just the prune-juice effect – it comes in and goes out straight away. Agents run the game.
There's only room for one bigmouth in my organisation, and that's me.
You seem to have gone from anchor to wanker.
Tell me, why shouldn't I fire you?
That's why my fee for this ad is going to Great Ormond Street.
I like Premium Bonds.
I'm no gambler.
Business is not about coming in, pissing my money up the wall and saying 'Oh well, I have learnt from my mistakes and it won't happen in the future'.
I'm Jewish and I couldn't give a toss. – On being told by a Catholic that "you have my word"
You're a lightweight, you're fired!
Quite frankly, I'd like to get rid of the bleeding three of you!
This is not a game, this is a 12 week job interview. It's a dog eat dog situation.
There is no phone-in here, there is no text a number, there is no panel of judges. I'm the one who decides who gets fired, and I'm the one that ultimately decides who gets hired.
I am the most belligerent person that you could come across.
When you lose, there won't be some busty blonde outside, for you to sob into her bosom.
If they were a company, the shareholders could sue them for incompetent mismanagement. In commercial terms, it's like watching your mother-in-law drive your new Ferrari over the cliff.
If ever there was a time for me to leap across the boardroom table and whack someone on the conk, it would have been then. – On Kevin Shaw's final boardroom