TJ Kirk

American Youtube personality and author

Thomas James "TJ" Kirk III (born February 20, 1985) is an American YouTube personality, author, social critic, and podcast host.


  • Rape isn't fatal. So imagine my indignation when I saw a chatroom called "Rape Survivors." Is this supposed to impress me? Someone fucked you when you didn't want to be fucked and you're amazed that you survived? Unless he used a chainsaw instead of his dick, what's the big deal? I don't mean to be horrendously offensive and insensitive here, but everyone survives rape. Some women are killed afterwards, but that's murder, not rape. To say that you're a rape survivor is as meaningless as saying you're a jury duty survivor or a divorce survivor. Lots of things in life suck—that doesn't mean we survived them. The word survivor applies to people who are alive after being stabbed 73 times with an ice pick or mauled by rabid wolverines, not to a woman who gets dick when she doesn't want it. Just because you got raped, you have to rape the English language? You vindictive bitch! Also, don't you ever get tired of being the victim? How many failed relationships are you going to blame on a single violation of your personal space?
  • A poll has shown that 63% of Americans, in their contemptible complacency, refuse to accept the theory of Evolution to this day. 150 years after this theory was put forward by Charles Darwin, Americans still have trouble accepting it in this puritanical, damn-near theocracy that we call home.
  • After Sarah Palin, you guys are running Mitt Romney. And I've got to say, I saw the appeal of George W. Bush, I saw the appeal of Sarah Palin – I do not see the fucking appeal of Mitt Romney! I mean, you guys can't say that he's some kind of down-home folksy motherfucker, 'cause he's not; he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a golden fork up his ass! [...] You can't say that you like him because he's a true conservative, because he's not; when he was governor of Massachusetts, he governed as a liberal. In most states, he would've been considered a Democrat based on the way he governed. He was a Massachusetts Republican. The thing about Mitt Romney is, he's not a conservative, he's not a liberal, he's just a businessman. He's a businessman who is very ambitious. His ambitions include sitting in the fucking Oval Office so that he can build a golden highway for all of his friends on Wall Street, so that they can just bypass laws, bypass regulations, do whatever the fuck they want, because they're his cronies. It's going to be crony capitalism on a level that you've never fucking seen before if you elect this fucking piece of shit.
    So what exactly is the fucking appeal? You know, a few months back, I was sitting in a restaurant, and this was back before Romney had clinched the nominations, they were still having Republican primary debates and shit, and there was an old man sitting a few tables away from me and he said, "I don't even know why they're bothering holding these damn Republican debates! I'll vote for anyone, I'd vote for a homeless man under a bridge before I'd vote for Obama," and I kind of got a chuckle out of that even though it's stupid, because I assumed, you know, it's kind of like, it's a joke, you know, he hates Obama but he's not going to vote for a homeless person under a bridge instead of Obama... but now I'm starting to see: yes; yes, he fucking would! These Republicans literally would vote for anybody: if you ran Hitler against Obama, it's going to be fucking "Hitler 2012" on the backs of every goddamn Republican car. I'm just saying. Not because they like Hitler, but just because they've got this crazy notion in their minds that Obama is the worst president of all time, which is hyperbole to the extreme. Anyone who says that is a fucking idiot. Here's my challenge to Republicans: tell me how Romney is a good candidate for president. Hell, just tell me how he's a passable candidate for president. But here's the stipulation: do it without telling me about how awful Obama is. Do it just based on Romney's merits. Just pretend Obama doesn't exist. What is it you like about this guy? What is it that makes you think this guy would be a good leader? Let me know, because I sure as fuck don't see it.
  • Justin Bieber is just the latest giant leap forward in the pussification of the American male. If he went to my school looking like this, we wouldn't have called him JB, we would've called him PB – for Punching Bag!

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