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Succession (TV series)

American comedy-drama television series (2018-2023)

Succession (2018 - 2023) is an HBO television series about the Roy family, the owners of global media and entertainment conglomerate Waystar RoyCo, and their fight for control of the company amidst uncertainty about the health of the family's patriarch.

Season 1

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Celebration [1.01]

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Lawrence Yee: You get the message?
Kendall Roy: What?
Lawrence Yee: I'm not letting you Neanderthals in to rape my company. Ever.
Kendall Roy: I'm sorry?
Lawrence Yee: You're a bunch of bloated dinosaurs who didn't even notice the monkeys swinging by until yesterday. Well, fuck you, daddy's boy.
Alessandro Daniels: Do you wanna call your dad?
Kendall Roy: Do I wanna call my dad? No, I don't wanna call my dad. Do you wanna call your dad?
Roman Roy: Oh, we're not surprising him, are we? Oh, this is- Oh, he's gonna love this. I think the last time I surprised him he took a swing at me.
Logan Roy: [receiving a gift from Connor] Oh, wonderful. What is it?
Connor Roy: Well...
Roman Roy: Oh yes, yes, it's a goo. It's a fucking goo?
Shiv Roy: It's perfect.
Connor Roy: It's sourdough starter. I thought that you might like to make something.
Logan Roy: Ohh... great.
Connor Roy: Yeah, okay. You shouldn't have opened it. Never mind. Forget it. It was an idea. I thought you might like it.
Logan Roy: I do, I do. I just don't know what the fuck it is!
Kendall Roy: I wasn't about to get into a fucking big dick competition, okay?
Logan Roy: I hear you bent for him.
Kendall Roy: Wha... I what?
Logan Roy: I hear you bent for him, and he fucked you.
Kendall Roy: Well, no, actually.
Logan Roy: You know, I know that you've read a lot of books about business management and this and that, but you know what?
Kendall Roy: What?
Logan Roy: Sometimes, it is a big dick competition.
Logan Roy: It's my fucking company.
Kendall Roy: Yeah you're right, it is your fucking company. And you know what? You're running it into the fucking ground.

Shit Show at the Fuck Factory [1.02]

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Roman Roy: Dad made me COO.
Kendall Roy: I don't think so, dude. Dad wasn't thinking straight.
Roman Roy: I think he was.
Kendall Roy: You? The Chief Operating Officer?
Roman Roy: Yep.
Kendall Roy: I mean if that wasn't a sign he was loco in the coco, I don't know what it is.
Shiv Roy: I mean, we have options.
Kendall Roy: Sure... You could all ask for morphine, so you can stay in your painless fucking fantasy world where the orchids dance and the company is run by a magical fucking unicorn!
Kendall Roy: What do you... What do you have against me?
Shiv Roy: Nothing.
Kendall Roy: Nothing?
Shiv Roy: Oh, you want me to actually say?
Kendall Roy: Yes, I do.
Shiv Roy: You lack killer instinct, you're wet, you're green, you're intellectually insecure-
Kendall Roy: Bullshit.
Shiv Roy: -You're not emotionally strong enough, you have addiction issues!
Kendall Roy: That's enough!
Shiv Roy: I don't think all that, I'm just trying to be Dad's voice.
Connor Roy: I'm not saying I would make a better CEO, that's unsaid.
Kendall Roy: It's not unsaid when you say it.
Connor Roy: No, I'm saying I'm not saying it, so, in fact, it is unsaid.
Kendall Roy: Hey, pal, why don't you go help Willa with her homework?
Connor Roy: Ouch, asshole.

Lifeboats [1.03]

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Kendall Roy: So, I just wanted to get the gang together early in my tenure to say, uh, "Yo."
Tom Wambsgans: Shakin' the tree, folks. Shakin' the tree. Excuse me. Greg. Are you kidding?
Greg Hirsch: Hey, Tom.
Tom Wambsgans: Forgive me, but uh... We talkin' to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather bitten face? No? Then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes, man?
Greg Hirsch: Oh... Yeah... No, well my credit card got maxed out, I'm staying in a youth hostel on, like, $80 a day.
Tom Wambsgans: Jesus. How squalid. Dude, are you carrying dog shit?
Greg Hirsch: No... No, it's uh... It's free, right? Is that cool? I mean, I don't want to be melodramatic, but my body is growing weak due to a lack of sustenance.
Tom Wambsgans: (bewildered) But in a dog poop baggie?
Greg Hirsch: Yeah, I have a bunch of 'em from back home...
Tom Wambsgans: Greg, that's disgusting.
Greg Hirsch: Not really. It's not like they pre-poop them or something, like, it's not like... They're just bags, really. It's just a mental barrier.
Gerri Kellman: Hey. We're down two more points.
Kendall Roy: Fuck.
Gerri Kellman: Listen, Sandy Furness is here.
Kendall Roy: What do you mean?
Gerri Kellman: I mean he's here, in the building.
Kendall Roy: He can't do that. Fucking Pepsi doesn't just drop in to see Coke.
Kendall Roy: You know sometimes when you leave the party and you wonder what everyone's saying about you?
Roman Roy: With me it's usually "Who's that young Han Solo and how do I get his dick in my ass?"

Sad Sack Wasp Trap [1.04]

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Connor Roy: I just hope the seating plan holds. If it does... look out, Middle East, 'cause I can fix anything.
Frank Vernon: You sure it was him?
Kendall Roy: You think a lot of people come in here and take a piss?
Gerri Kellman: Maybe someone spilled something.
Kendall Roy: Yeah, maybe the massive fucking ice sculpture I forgot about melted. It's urine.
Roman Roy: This isn't a false flag, is it? Did you piss on your own floor?
Kendall Roy: Why are you looking like that? W-what if people knew? Gerri, you gotta talk to him.
Gerri Kellman: What do you want me to say?
Roman Roy: Well, first tell him where to go pee pee and poo poo.
Kendall Roy: He came in, he was talking to Stewy. What's he gonna do next, start jizzing in my coffee? Take a dump on my iPad?
Kendall Roy: Jesus, Roman, you're a walking fucking lawsuit.

I Went to Market [1.05]

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Greg Hirsch: I'm in Canada.
Tom Wambsgans: Excuse me? Canada? Canada, with the healthcare and the ennui? Why's that, cocksock?
Greg Hirsch: Um... I'm driving my grandpa down for Thanksgiving.
Tom Wambsgans: Oh, Greg, fuck your grandpa.
Greg Hirsch: Okay, you're on, you're on speakerphone, Tom.
Tom Wambsgans: [long pause] Well, I shouldn't be, Greg.
Roman Roy: I went to the market and I bought a crack pipe...
[everyone groans]
Connor Roy: That's terrible.
Roman Roy: No? All right. I went to the market and I bought a gimp suit.
Ewan Roy: This whole family is a nest of vipers. They'll wrap themselves around you, and they'll suffocate you.
Greg Hirsch: I'm pretty sure...[elevator door closes] I'm pretty sure that's boa constrictors.
Tom Wambsgans: And I'm thankful that I am going to be marrying into one of the most vital and interesting and kind and loving families in the world.
Roman Roy: Are you not going to be marrying Shiv anymore?
Frank Vernon: Ever hear of loyalty?
Kendall Roy: Sure. Wasn't he one of the seven dwarves? No?
Frank Vernon: Oh...
Kendall Roy: Oh, he's a rapper. He was in Wu-Tang?

Which Side Are You On? [1.06]

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Tom Wambsgans: Look, here's the thing about being rich. Okay? It's fucking great. Okay? It's like being a superhero, only better. You get to do what you want, the authorities can't really touch you, you get to wear a costume, but it's designed by Armani, and it doesn't make you look like a prick.
Tom Wambsgans: Two-- This is 2,000 buck-- bucks a pop.
Greg Hirsch: Why?
Tom Wambsgans: No reason! We're being totally ripped off!
Logan Roy: That was your best shot. You lost.
Frank Vernon: Is it wise to fire the board with the share price this weak, heading into a political fight?
Logan Roy: Take it like a fucking man. You're out. You're fucked. You tried to kill me, but you failed. And you're dead. Now, fuck off!
Kendall Roy: Can I count on your vote for team future?
Stewy Hosseini: I can promise you that I am spiritually and emotionally and ethically and morally behind whoever wins.

Austerlitz [1.07]

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Connor Roy: This family's broken. And that has consequences. A missed phone call today, a couple dozen kids lose their jobs in China. Butterfly wings, but bigger, huge wings. Like a pterodactyl, or the Smithsonian. So...[raises glass in toast] ...let's fix our wings.
Roman Roy: Barely comprehensible.
Shiv Roy: So what happened with the fake therapy? Any pretend breakthroughs? Any good performances?
Connor Roy: Nothing. Our therapist died.
Shiv Roy: What?
Connor Roy: Metaphorically speaking.
Tom Wambsgans: He smashed his teeth out in the pool.
Shiv Roy: Oh, my god...
Tom Wambsgans: Freud would have had a field day.
Stewy Hosseini: This is a family business... but the family is fucked and it's hurting the stock.
Logan Roy: [to his daughter Shiv] You're marrying a man fathoms beneath you because you don't want to risk being betrayed. You're a fucking coward.

Prague [1.08]

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Tom Wambsgans: So, does that mean we're able to... fuck here?
Roman Roy: Yeah. Hey, Ken, what do you think of the pussycat? On it?
Kendall Roy: No, not me. Business is my fucking.
Roman Roy: Great. I'll find you a Bloomberg terminal to stick your dick in.
Tom Wambsgans: Oh my God, dude! That was insane!
Greg Hirsch: Oh yeah?
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah. Me and this girl, we go into this side room, and we start making out, and then, I'm touching her and then she goes down on me, and then I splooge in her mouth, y'know and-- g-- I know! I know! And get this: she kisses me and puts it back in my mouth, and I swallow!
Greg Hirsch: Which, the cum?
Tom Wambsgans: I know. So hot!

Pre-Nuptial [1.09]

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Sandy Furness: You can't make an omelette without breaking a few dicks.
Logan Roy: I don't like being outside the U.S. for too long.
Gil Eavis: Doesn't sit well.
Logan Roy: And there's a mercilessness I miss.
Gil Eavis: I'm not used to these squalid little deals.
Logan Roy: Yeah, living with the safety catch off, fuckin' without a rubber. Everywhere else feels so soft. I mean, look at this fuckin' place.
[Logan and Gil turn to look at the castle in the background]
Gil Eavis: Yeah, well, it-- it's all quite refined.
Logan Roy: Refined? Ahh. Slaves. Cotton, and sugar. This country's nothing but an off-shore laundry for turning evil into hard currency.
Gil Eavis: [laughs] Is this where you tell me you're working for the communists?
Logan Roy: And now it just lies here, y'know, living off its capital, sucking in immigrants to turn it and stop it from getting bed sores.

Nobody Is Ever Missing [1.10]

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Shiv Roy: The lack of thought to do this to Dad... today...
Kendall Roy: Come on, Shiv, let's not pretend. Yeah? This isn't about Dad. This is because you like the power. It gets you close to the Hill. And Rome, you couldn't get a job in a fuckin' burger joint let alone a Fortune 500 without some nepotism and Con, you like the glamor it gives to a fuckin' freak show in the desert, okay.
Connor Roy: No, Kenny. I could just do with the assistance of the family firm on my ambitions to become President. That's it.
Kendall Roy: Right. Exactly. You're all living in a fuckin' dream world.
Logan Roy: Tell Sandy you're out. Tell Stewy the thing looks like shitshow. Go to the desert, dry yourself out. You have not been yourself.
Kendall Roy: [tearfully] There's nothing... I don't, I don't think, um... I wasn't there, so...
Logan Roy: This could be the defining moment of your life. It'd eat everything. A rich kid kills a boy, you'd never be anything else. Or, y'know, it could be what it should be: nothing at all. A sad, little detail at a lovely wedding where father and son are reconciled.
[Logan opens up his arms and Kendall breaks down sobbing]
Logan Roy: [hugging Kendall] You're my boy. You're my number one boy.

Season 2

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The Summer Palace [2.01]

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[Kendall entering Logan's office]
Logan Roy: Oh, here he is! Mr. Potato Head! My plastic adversary.

Vaulter [2.02]

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Roman Roy: Where do you buy your suits, by the way, Tom? Like, maybe that's why I'm just not moving as fast as you. I just don't have that, like, boxy, corporate look. Right? I mean, sorry, but, like, what the fuck? You look like a Transformer. Like, wh-- what's wrong with your body, man?
Shiv Roy: Rome, come on. There's nothing wrong with his body, it's just fuckin' suits.
[Tom gives Shiv a "What the fuck?" expression]
Shiv Roy: What? Come on, we-- we've laughed about it before.
Roman Roy: You have?
Shiv Roy: Yeah. He's thrifty, and he has the worst taste in suits.
Roman Roy: Totally has terrible ta-- You look like a divorce attorney from the Twin Cities.
Shiv Roy: It's partly the walk. It's like a real...
Roman Roy: Robot?
Shiv Roy: No, agricultural walk.
[Roman and Tabitha laugh]
Roman Roy: Agricultural walk!
Shiv Roy: You know, I tried to get, uh, one of his suits tailored by the guy that dad uses.
Roman Roy: Mm-hmm.
Shiv Roy: But he looked just so like--
Tom Wambsgan: Hey, Shiv? Fuck off.
Lawrence Yee: Hey. Hey! Kendall, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck is going on?
Kendall Roy: Yeah, sorry about the, uh, cloak and dagger. I just needed some time to untangle all your shit, find the profit centers, keep the union off our back. We're already fully operational on seven.
Lawrence Yee: Why?
Kendall Roy: Because my dad told me to.
Lawrence Yee: Because your dad told you to? Jesus Christ. Because your dad told you to? You-- you fucked it, bro.
Kendall Roy: Uh-huh. Go find some other chicken coop, cunt.

Hunting [2.03]

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Tom Wambsgans: [groans] This is nice. Europe. Nice bit of war-torn, spooky, anti-Semitic, vampirey, authoritarian Europe.
Logan Roy: How much is a gallon of milk?
Roman Roy: What?
Logan Roy: How much is a gallon of milk?
Roman Roy: I don't know. I mean, who the fuck knows, Dad? Literally no one knows. Who gives a shit?
Logan Roy: Ray!
Ray: Yeah.
Logan Roy: How much is a gallon of milk?
Ray: Uh-- Uh, wh-- I mean, like regular milk, or, uh...
Logan Roy: I am surrounded by snakes and fucking morons! You're a bunch of silk-stocking fucks!

Safe Room [2.04]

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Tom Wambsgans: Hey, Mark. Great to see you. Come on in. I caught the show this morning.
Mark Ravenhead: Oh, great. Thanks. Uh, where's Cyd?
Tom Wambsgans: She's out on a thing, but she's-- she thought it would be great for us to check in, and I'm su-- I'm a big fan.
Mark Ravenhead: Thank you. Thanks. Uh, so Karyn tells me, uh, you want the full colonoscopy, huh?
Tom Wambsgans: Oh, dude. No, no. We both know, I think, how dumb these things are. You know how it is. It's just due diligence with all the turbulence, and, can I just-- just need to check a few boxes.
Mark Ravenhead: Sure, sure. Thank you for the show of faith.
Tom Wambsgans: No, no. No-- No problem. Okay, right. [inhales] Okay, so this is embarrassing, but, um, just for the record, and just so we have it, um... You are not, and have never been a member of the Nazi Party of the United States, have you?
Mark Ravenhead: Come on, Tom. You serious?
[Tom gestures to the manila folder with an awkward expression]
Mark Ravenhead: Nope.
Tom Wambsgans: Thank you. Sorry to have to even ask. Uh, bu-bu-bu-bu-bah... And-- Oh, yes, the Hitler dog thing?
Mark Ravenhead: Okay, the dog thing's bullshit.
Tom Wambsgans: Great. Great. I thought so.
Mark Ravenhead: Different spelling.
Tom Wambsgans: Okay. Different spelling?
Mark Ravenhead: Yeah.
Tom Wambsgans: Okay. Uh, and this other one that came up, just to fend this off, have you ever read Mein Kampf?
Mark Ravenhead: Uh... Yeah, couple of times, I guess.
Tom Wambsgans: Couple times? Are there Easter eggs in there you didn't get the first time? [laughs]
Mark Ravenhead: [laughs] Look, I'm-- I'm just-- I'm interested in that period of history, Tom. Okay? I skimmed it.
Tom Wambsgans: Skimmed. Yeah. Thank you. And, um-- And what, specifically, do you find interesting about that period of history?
Mark Ravenhead: The scale. The tragedy.
Tom Wambsgans: Hell yeah. Yeah. Which tragedy, sp-- specifically?
Mark Ravenhead: Europe decimated. [scoffs] Seven million Germans, twenty million Russians, five million Poles.
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah. Just-- Just checking the till here, Mark, and it seems you're short a few million.
Connor Roy: Hey baby, how about this for the eulogy? "Lester touched all of us."
Willa Ferreyra: I don't think you should do your speech.
Connor Roy: No one else is gonna get here. I have to. I said I would.
Willa Ferreyra: Baby, I think it could be really bad for your campaign. I mean, I was just talking to those guys over there.
Connor Roy: The Wolf Pack?
Willa Ferreyra: The Wolf Pack?!
Connor Roy: Yea, Dad's old crew, back in the day.
Willa Ferreyra: Oh, Jesus. Okay, some of the stuff they got up to with Mo, you do not wanna be associated with.
Connor Roy: Sure, no. I know. Still, it's complicated. It was a different time.
Willa Ferreyra: But it wasn't a time before they invented laws, was it?
Michele Pantsil: Connor? Hi. Sorry to interrupt. I'm Michele Pantsil. I'm-- I'm working on a study.
Connor Roy: I know who you are.
Michele Pantsil: I-- I spoke to Lester a lot toward the end. He always spoke so fondly of you.
Connor Roy: Oh, I see you a mile away, sister. What, do you wanna dig through my treasure chest for some precious memory gems?
Michele Pantsil: No, I don't want to make anyone do anything they don't want to do.
Connor Roy: Hey, if you wanna print something in your little book, you may print the following line: "Connor Roy was interested in politics at a very young age." That's it.
Tom Wambsgans: You know, uh, Greg... I know that, um... it wasn't cool, you know. The bottles, the attack.
Greg Hirsch: [sighs] No, it didn't feel great.
Tom Wambsgans: I don't always like who I am, Greg.
Greg Hirsch: Yeah, I-- I get that. But don't you think it might be just the right time for me to make a move?
Tom Wambsgans: Seriously, Greg? You're smart, you're ambitious, you're loyal. Why would I let you go? Come on.
Greg Hirsch: Okay, wait. I have a thing, but I-- I'm reluctant to say.
Tom Wambsgans: What do you mean?
Greg Hirsch: [sighs] I-- I just-- I have some leverage, but I'm reluctant to use it. You know, in case it sours things for us.
Tom Wambsgans: What leverage, Greg?
Greg Hirsch: I just-- Um... Well, I'm not bringing this up as any form of threat, but... [sighs] So, you know when you had me destroy those documents at Cruises?
Tom Wambsgans: No.
Greg Hirsch: Well, I-- I kept it--
[indistinct chatter from passersby]
Greg Hirsch: I kept a few... o-- of them. Just in case I got in trouble, and 'cause I was worried that maybe I was destroying evidence of criminality.
Tom Wambsgans: Did you now?
Greg Hirsch: So, like, I don't know. Would it be... I don't wanna bring anything up to you in a way that feels, like, horrible, but would it be bad for me to, like, mention those to you now?
Tom Wambsgans: Are you asking if you can blackmail me?
Greg Hirsch: No, I'm not-- I would-- I would hate that. I like you, it's just, you know, context.
Tom Wambsgans: Very well. I accept your blackmail.
Greg Hirsch: No, I'm not blackmailing you Tom--
Tom Wambsgans: But you are...
Greg Hirsch: No!
Tom Wambsgans: ...you piece of shit.
Greg Hirsch: I'm not!
Tom Wambsgans: Greg... I'm gonna accelerate you. Okay? New title. Ton more money, nice new office. You're moving up, you can throw away the training bra. Seat at the big table. You like that?
[Greg smiles and nods]
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah? [chuckles]
Greg Hirsch: Yeah. I like that.
Tom Wambsgans: You fucki-- Look at you. Where are they, those papers?
Greg Hirsch: I'll never tell.
Tom Wambsgans: [laughs] You're a fuckin' slime ball!
Greg Hirsch: No!
Tom Wambsgans: [slaps Gregs arms] Attaboy!
Connor Roy: Hello. I'm here as a fellow human... to acknowledge that Lester has, as we know, passed on. Lester was a man. Also, Lester was an employee of the Waystar company for 40 years. And when a man dies, it is sad. All of us will die one day. In this case, it is Lester who has done so. Lester was alive for 78 years. But no more. Now he is dead. Lester's wife is Maria. They were married for 15 years. Now she is sad.

Tern Haven [2.05]

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Greg Hirsch: Well, I j-- I gotta say, well done. You won.
Logan Roy: Yeah. Yeah. Money wins.

Argestes [2.06]

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Hugo Baker: And Roman, the safe place is the three R's, okay?
Roman Roy: Yeah.
Hugo Baker: Regret. It happened a long time ago. Responsibility. Belongs to individuals and not corporations. Remedy. Super tough, super vague. The move is condemn and move on. Got it?
Roman Roy: Yeah, got it.
Hugo Baker: Okay.
Gerri Kellman: Right, and if you need to smash glass in case of emergency, it's enough of that and back to the session: "Family Ownership & Corporate Continuity in the Digital Age."
Logan Roy: Whatever the fuck that means.

Dundee [2.08]

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Ewan Roy: The Logan Roy School of Journalism. What's next? The Jack the Ripper Women's Health Clinic?
Shiv Roy: Don't like the past too much, huh?
Logan Roy: I do. I do. It's, uh... it's just... there's so much of it. The future is real, but... the past, well, it's... Yeah. Um... it's all made up.

DC [2.09]

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Katherine Gilliard: Senator Eavis, you have five minutes for questions.
Gil Eavis: Mr. Wambsgans, I hope I'm saying that correctly.
[Tom gives a thumbs-up and mouths a "Yeah"]
Gil Eavis: Just some background. Mr. Lester McClintock. You accept he offered jobs to young women who would sleep with him?
Tom Wambsgans: Uh... That does seem to be the case. Um... But the-- the company, uh, wasn't aware, and obviously, that was some time before my time, um... However, Bill... uh, Lockheart, my--
Gil Eavis: Uh-huh.
Tom Wambsgans: predecessor--
Gil Eavis: But within the upper echelons of the firm and the family, Lester was commonly known as "Mo," is that correct?
Tom Wambsgans: I... I don't... I don't... I-- I'm a relative n-- newcomer.
Gil Eavis: This email, you call Lester McClintock "Mo." Why?
Tom Wambsgans: I-- I guess I think it was just a nickname.
Gil Eavis: Mm-hm. You call him "Mo" over 30 times in emails to family and colleagues, but you never use it in the items of correspondence sent to him privately, for instance, during his illness. Why not?
Tom Wambsgans: Senator, I don't know.
Gil Eavis: You don't know? He was called Mo, but always behind his back.
Tom Wambsgans: Um... Uh... I'd-- I'd have to look at the, uh, emails, uh, I never thought about it.
Gil Eavis: Lester's nickname was Mo. Mo Lester. Molester. That never came up?
Tom Wambsgans: Senator, I think, uh... [chuckles] I guess maybe perhaps he was, uh, a little creepy-seeming perhaps.
Gil Eavis: Well, you were right there.
Tom Wambsgans: But just because we-- he was called, um, Mo Lester, doesn't-- didn't mean... It was just a-- [chuckles] It's just an off-color joke. You know?
Gil Eavis: That was 100 percent based on truth. But of all the many, many people who called this molester... "Mo Lester," not one of them had the slightest idea that he was actually a molester. I mean, you could see how that stretches out our credulity.
Tom Wambsgans: Yes, Senator, I can see that. I think he just seemed a bit like one, maybe. But we didn't know anything.
Gil Eavis: Well, if he seemed a little bit like one, don't you think it behooved the people in charge to find out if he was one...
Logan Roy: Oh, my...
Gil Eavis: ...before you sent him out on ships full of young women and vulnerable old and young guests?
Gil Eavis: Do you know what is special about the hours between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. on the night of March 12th?
Tom Wambsgans: Uh... no, sir.
Gil Eavis: That was the only two-hour period in which you did not send an email to Mr. Hirsch with the title... "You Can't Make a Tomlette Without Breaking Some Greggs." You sent the same email to him 67 times in one evening.
Tom Wambsgans: I guess it was a joke. [giggles nervously]

This Is Not for Tears [2.10]

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Tom Wambsgans: I just... I think, you know... I think a lot of the time, if I think about it, I think a lot of the time, I'm really pretty unhappy.
Shiv Roy: What are you saying?
Tom Wambsgans: I don't know. I love you, I do. I just, uh... I wonder if... I wonder if the sad I'd be... without you would be less than the sad I get from being with you.
Logan Roy: You know, uh... Marcia and I used to read to each other. I'd read her history. You know, Spengler, Gibbon, the big boys. Uh-huh.
Kendall Roy: Okay.
Logan Roy: The Incas... in times of terrible crisis... would sacrifice a child to the sun. I said to her they were a bunch of fucking savages.
Kendall Roy: Mm-hm.
Logan Roy: Her thing was... what could you possibly kill that you love so much... it would make the sun rise again?
Kendall Roy: Hey, Dad, I--... just out of interest, um... Did you ever think I could do it?
Logan Roy: Do what? The top job? Oh, I don't know, maybe. Eh...
Kendall Roy: You can say.
Logan Roy: I-- Well, you know, I just... You know, you're smart, you're good, but I... I just don't know.
Kendall Roy: What? Come on.
Logan Roy: You're not a killer. You have to be a killer. But... nowadays... maybe you don't. I don't know.

Season 3

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Secession [3.01]

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Greg Hirsch: Fuck. This is... crazy. This is like... this is like O.J. I-- I mean except if O.J. never killed anyone.
Kendall Roy: Who said I never killed anyone?

Mass in Time of War [3.02]

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Jess Jordan: He's here.
Roman Roy: Who's here?
Kendall Roy: Connor. Send him in.
Roman Roy: Right. Thought I heard a clown car pulling up.

Lion in the Meadow [3.04]

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Tom Wambsgans: An amusing notion has just occurred to me, Greg.
Greg Hirsch: Yeah?
Tom Wambsgans: Yes. You-[chuckles] You're gonna be running a theme park. Um... And here's me, going to jail. And you're gonna be living in a magical castle. And I am going to be down in a dungeon, somewhere, sucking off ogres for phone cards. [laughs]
Tom Wambsgans: Greg, what do you know about, um... Nero and Sporus?
Greg Hirsch: Nero and...
Tom Wambsgans: Sporus.
Greg Hirsch: Spor--
Tom Wambsgans: Greg, yeah. Sporus was a young slave boy. He was Nero's favorite. And, uh... you know what Nero did to him?
Greg Hirsch: N-Nero and Sporus. I don't-- this is not IP I'm familiar with.
Tom Wambsgans: Well, Nero... pushed his wife... down the stairs. And uh... and then he had Sporus castrated and he married him instead. And he gave him a ring. And he made him dress up like his dead wife.
Greg Hirsch: Wow! Plot twist! Didn't see that coming.
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah, I bought a book on the Romans to read in prison. It's a big book.
Greg Hirsch: Well, is it a good book?
Tom Wambsgans: It's a decent book, yeah. I'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.

Retired Janitors of Idaho [3.05]

edit
Maya Bernard: If Josh Aaronson is against, it is hard to see how you win this with a clear margin.
Tom Wambsgans: Is this what we pay the proxy solicitor team for? You know, if I were to give Greg five million, he'd go, "Ooh, it looks bad!" You know?
Roman Roy: Does Sandy really have syphilis? What if he has sores all over his body? What if his groin's all eaten away and the top half of him just falls off?
Gerri Kellman: Syphilis... I think we started that rumor.
Karl Muller: I don't know. Late-stage symptom is dementia, I believe.
Roman Roy: Yeah, you've been doing some panicky late-night googling there, Karl?
Roman Roy: I feel like I just have to put it out there. Say it. Since there's an 85 billion dollar baby on the table here. How do I know he's not your... meat puppet?
Sandi Furness: Oh, I just do what my dad tells me, like you guys.

Too Much Birthday [3.07]

edit
Shiv Roy: Okay, so. Go on, tell us. Who's here?
Kendall Roy: Who isn't?
Roman Roy: Your dad.
Shiv Roy: Your mom.
Connor Roy: Your wife and kids.
Roman Roy: Any real friends.

Chiantishire [3.08]

edit
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Should we just enjoy a fag? And not do any sniping for a bit? Or have you come to get some attention?
Shiv Roy: Me? Attention from you? Oh, no. That ship sailed long ago.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Yeah, I might have been a bit of a spotty mother but you've been a shitty daughter, so...
Shiv Roy: You weren't a spotty mother, you were just... an absence. But I'm fine.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: I moved back to bloody New York so I could be near you, and I never fucking saw you!
Shiv Roy: Mom! It's okay. It's... fine. You let Dad take us and it was probably best.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: I gave him custody so you could keep your shares and I could protect your interests. You chose. "I'll have the carbonara and Daddy, please."
Shiv Roy: I didn't choose anything.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: You tend to get what you want anyway.
Shiv Roy: And you don't?
Lady Caroline Collingwood: I don't think I've ever won a single battle in my whole life.
Shiv Roy: Hmm. I was ten, Mom. I was a fucking kid.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: You were thirteen. And you knew how to twist the knife. You knew then, and you know now. And I might cry.
Shiv Roy: Oh, yeah, where's the onion?
Lady Caroline Collingwood: You were quite a piece of work. You were my onion. You are my onion.
Shiv Roy: Yeah, well, you're my fucking onion.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Truth is, I probably should never have had children. You made the right decision. Some people just aren't made to be mothers. I should've had dogs.
Shiv Roy: Well, you coulda had dogs.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: No, not with your father. He never saw anything he loved that he didn't wanna kick it just to see if it would still come back.
Kendall Roy: Who do you think I am? You think I want you dead? I’ll be broken when you die.
Logan Roy: Hmm. How’s the boy doing? Is he getting better?
Kendall Roy: He’s…He’s fine. So, look… my thing is… I want out. I think I thought I was a knight on horseback, but, yet, that isn’t-
Logan Roy: Life’s not knights on horseback. It’s a number on a piece of paper. It’s a fight for a knife in the mud.
Kendall Roy: Like, I don’t really know… where my life goes from here. Uhh, maybe, I…could… I don’t know, but I can’t do jack shit. So, here it is, I want a premium payout from the holding. Two-bill, and a chunky asset. Something you can realize without shareholder input. Maybe... outdoor advertising, podcasts. I keep Fikret, Jess, and I'm gone. I'm a ghost, divested, off the board, complete disinheritance. I won't even speak at your memorial. We're done.
Logan Roy: Well, I need to think about it.
Kendall Roy: Well, you... you already... you offered at my birthday.
Logan Roy: That was, uh, for fun.
Kendall Roy: Dad... we can't do this bullshit forever.
Logan Roy: Maybe I want you close. You can do the mail, keep you rattling around.
Kendall Roy: I can't. I tried, but I... I thought that I could change things. But I'm not as... There are things you're able to do that I can't. Maybe.
Logan Roy: Maybe.
Kendall Roy: You've won... because you're corrupt and so is the world.
Logan Roy: Hmm. Well...
Kendall Roy: I'm better than you. You're... You know, I... I... I hate to say this, 'cause I love you, but you're kind of... evil.
Logan Roy: Don't talk about things you don't understand.
Kendall Roy: Well, you're smart, but what you've done is you... you've... you've... monetized all the fսcking... the... the... American resentments of class and race...
Logan Roy: And I thought I was just telling folks the weather.
Kendall Roy: You've turned black bile into silver dollars.
Logan Roy: Oh, you just noticed, did you?
Kendall Roy: Yeah, maybe I did.
Logan Roy: Oh, fսck off.
Kendall Roy: Fine, you know what? (Scoffs) I don't give a fսck.
Logan Roy: Not everyone can live this life. I'm a great revolutionary. A bit of fսcking spice. Bit of fun.
Kendall Roy: Fun?
Logan Roy: A bit of truth.
Kendall Roy: Okay. Truth, okay.
Logan Roy: I fսcking know things about the world, or I wouldn't turn a buck.
Kendall Roy: Maybe.
Logan Roy: Not necessarily nice things.
Kendall Roy: Look, whatever. Let me out. Okay? Pay up and let me out. I don't wanna be you. I'm a good guy.
Logan Roy: How long was that kid alive... before he started sucking in water? Couple of minutes? Three, four, five? Long time? Two minutes? What were you even doing, huh? Chasing a bit of tail? Hey, are you queer? Did you try to fսck him? Or was it just the drսgs?
Kendall Roy: I’m better than you.
Logan Roy: Sure. You're my son. I did my best... and whenever you fսckеd up... I cleaned up your shit. And I'm a bad person? Fսck off, kiddo. Good night. We're out of here.

Season 4

edit

The Munsters [4.01]

edit
Logan Roy: Nobody tells jokes anymore do they? Karl, do you have any jokes?
Karl Muller: What's that?
Logan Roy: I'm saying, Karl... it's a bit dry in here.
Karl Muller: Oh.
Logan Roy: Do you have any jokes?
Karl Muller: Um, uh, well, let me think, um... [stammering]
Logan Roy: Oh, dry as fucking dust. Come on! Roast me! Hmm? Give me a drubbing! Frank, start. Be funny.
Frank Vernon: Uh, it's not really my thing, Chief.
Logan Roy: Oh, so, what? You don't think I can take it?
Frank Vernon: No, it's just not my style. I mean, I can. Uh, the thing about Logan Roy is... T-- uh, the thing about Logan is he's a tough old nut. [laughs]
Logan Roy: Oh, Christ. Sid fucking Caesar. Greggy.
Greg Hirsch: You're mean. [clears throat] You're mean. You're a mean, old man. You're-- you're a mean, old bastard. Uh, and you scare the life out of folks. That's your thing. You're scaring me right now. And-- and that's why I don't even know how-- what to do.
Logan Roy: Who wants to smell Greg's finger. Hey? Guess the scent, win a buck.
[Greg chuckles softly]
Logan Roy: Come on, roast me!
Greg Hirsch: Where are your kids? Where's all your kids, Uncle Logan? On your big birthday?
Logan Roy: Well, where's your old man, huh? Where's your old man? Still sucking cock at the county fair?
[Greg exhales sharply and smirks]
Logan Roy: Gerri, been sent anything funny lately?
Gerri Kellman: All a bit horrible for me. Thanks, Logan.
Logan Roy: I'm not being horrible. I'm being fun. Fucking Munsters.

Rehearsal [4.02]

edit
Tom Wambsgans: [whispers] Okay, so what's happening? What's happening?
Greg Hirsch: [whispers] Okay, so he's still just kinda walking around, but with a slight sense that he might kill someone. It's like Jaws. If-- if everyone in Jaws worked for Jaws.
Kendall Roy: Con, what do you want?
Connor Roy: I'll just have whatever a regular Joe would have. Just, uh, Belgian Weissbier. Not Hoegaarden, ideally.
Tom Wambsgans: This is an incredibly delicate piece of diplomacy, Greg. Okay? It's like... Israel-Palestine, except harder and much more important.
Logan Roy: You're such fucking dopes. You're not serious figures. I love you... but you are not... [sighs] ...serious people.
Connor Roy: The good thing about having a family that doesn't love you is you learn to live without it.
Shiv Roy: What? Con-- Connor that's not--
Connor Roy: You're all chasing after Dad, saying, [whimpers] "Love me, please love me. I need love. I need attention."
Shiv Roy: I think that's the opposite of what just happened.
Connor Roy: You're needy love sponges. And I'm a plant that grows on rocks and lives off insects that die inside of me.
Shiv Roy: Jesus Christ, Con. [chuckles]
Connor Roy: If Willa doesn't come back, that's fine. Because I don't need love. It's like a superpower. And if she comes back and doesn't love me, that's okay too, 'cause I don't need it. [silence] Thanks for the party.

Connor's Wedding [4.03]

edit
Sylvia: Oh, Connor, it's all so lovely.
Connor Roy: Yeah.
Sylvia: Oh, my God. Look at all the young people.
Connor Roy: I heard a few of them moaning about the rich.
Sylvia: Yeah, well, they don't mind the taste of your champagne.
Connor Roy: Mr. Scrooge just happened to be a huge wealth creator. They don't mention that in Mr. Dickens' books, do they?
Sylvia: No, they do not! Very convenient!
Connor Roy: Hey, hey! That's my brother and sister.
Shiv Roy: Hey, Con.
Connor Roy: Fucking cake nightmare! Okay.
Kendall Roy: Con, Con.
Connor Roy: [to wedding staff] Would you take care of that for me?
Kendall Roy: Con.
Connor Roy: Yeah? What is it?
Kendall Roy: Come here. Come-- Come here.
Connor Roy: What is it?
Kendall Roy: It's just-- it's private. It's serious, come here.
Connor Roy: [to wedding staff] Five, okay.
Male Wedding Staff Member: Yeah.
Kendall Roy: Come here, buddy.
Connor Roy: What is it? Is it...
Kendall Roy: Just...
Connor Roy: ...important?
Kendall Roy: ...come here for a sec.
Connor Roy: What?
Shiv Roy: Let's get you, um--
Connor Roy: Is it Pop? Uh-- Is he okay?
Shiv Roy: Uh--
Connor Roy: What is it? Is he sick? What is it?
Shiv Roy: Dad's on an airplane to Sweden, but they're coming back. We think he died. They've-- Th... [softly] They think he's dead. [exhales shakily]
Connor Roy: Well, is he?
Kendall Roy: Well, uh, everyone says he is. I mean, we don't know. They're doing heart compressions.
Connor Roy: Oh, man. He never even liked me.
Kendall Roy: [softly] Hey, Con--
Connor Roy: Hey-- Sorry. You know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't even know what I mean. He did. He did. I-I just-- I never got the chance to make him proud of me. He's dead.
[After Kerry just left the room after exhibiting a nervous breakdown]
Tom Wambsgans: [softly] What the fuck?
Karolina Novotney: I think she's freaking out, Tom.
Karl Muller: Yeah.
Tom Wambsgans: Oh, yeah?
Karolina Novotney: Yeah.
Tom Wambsgans: Judging by her grin, it looks like she caught a foul ball at Yankee Stadium.
Karolina Novotney: Okay!
Tom Wambsgans: I mean...
Frank Vernon: Jesus!
Karolina Novotney: Here is the list of names. I think we divide up as soon as we get the-- Well, not the-- not the all clear but... once those 30 minutes are up--
Tom Wambsgans: Some of those it's-- it's small for-- Y'know, I think we should get Kerry to do them.
Karolina Novotney: Oh, now you want Kerry to do it?
Karl Muller: Chuckles the Clown? I think not.

Honeymoon States [4.04]

edit
Tom Wambsgans: I would just like to say...
Karl Muller: Yeah.
Tom Wambsgans: ...to this senior group of very respected greybeards that all I have ever personally asked is the chance to serve. I mean, I'm sick with grief.
Gerri Kellman: Oh. You're sick with grief?
Tom Wambsgans: But I--
Gerri Kellman: Well, you might wanna put down that fish taco. You're getting your melancholy everywhere.
Tom Wambsgans: Very funny, but... were the opportunity to arise, all I would say is that if there's a ring, my hat's in, respectfully.
Karl Muller: Well, I would just say, um, if we were to recommend you to the board...
Tom Wambsgans: Mm-hmm.
Karl Muller: ...the question they might ask, would-- [stammers] Can-- can-- Can I frame the question for you? But as a friend.
Tom Wambsgans: Sure.
Karl Muller: Just so-- so you'd be...
Tom Wambsgans: Sure.
Karl Muller: ...be prepared. The negative case would go... [clicks tongue] ...you're a clumsy interloper and no one trusts you. The only guy pulling for you is dead. And now, you're just married to the ex-boss' daughter. [chuckles] And she doesn't even like you. And you are fair and squarely fucked.
[pause, Tom looks around in astonishment]
Tom Wambsgans: Jesus, Karl.
Frank Vernon: Karl, hey.
Karl Muller: Mm-hmm.
Frank Vernon: Come here a second. I wanna talk to you about something. In my role as executor, I've, uh, had passed to me a rather worrying piece of paper.
Karl Muller: Mm.
Frank Vernon: [deeply inhales]
Karl Muller: M'kay. And...
Frank Vernon: [scoffs, chuckles, sighs]
Karl Muller: Who else knows?
Frank Vernon: As of now, as far as I know, just you and me.
Karl Muller: So what are you thinking?
Frank Vernon: Well, I honestly didn't even wanna start thinking till you were here.
Karl Muller: I mean... could it, might it, just... go away? I mean, it might get lost. I hope it doesn't. But what if... your hand goes a little wobbly and the draft takes it away and it gets flushed down a toilet by mistake. I'm kidding, of course.
Frank Vernon: No, sure, you're-- you're speculating in a comic mode.
Karl Muller: Yeah. In a humorous vain.
Frank Vernon: Mm-hmm.
Karl Muller: We're not gonna let that little princess screw things up. Right, Frank? If Gerri's gonna block me, I want out. I want my fucking package. I am halfway in on a Greek island...
Frank Vernon: Mm.
Karl Muller: ...with my brother-in-law.
Tom Wambsgans: Hey, Ken.
Kendall Roy: [sighs]
Tom Wambsgans: Hey, um...
Kendall Roy: Hey, Tom.
Tom Wambsgans: ...Ken, I just wanted to say, you know, I know there's a lot of water under the bridge, a lot of history. But as far as I am concerned, the-- the b-- big man passing cleaned the slate. So, yeah. I just-- yeah. I just wanna say that and you know, I wish, maybe, there's some things...
Kendall Roy: [sighs heavily]
Tom Wambsgans: I could maybe take back, some words. And I'm sorry for your loss. But I want you to know that I'm-- that I'm here to serve. Right here.
Kendall Roy: I like you, Tom. Good luck.
Greg Hirsch: Hey, everyone.
Frank Vernon: Yes. Uh. Greg.
Roman Roy: Hey, Greg.
Greg Hirsch: Hey.
Frank Vernon: Um. In case it comes out, we wanted you to be aware that you're on a piece of paper. Uh, a side letter left by Logan with... some wishes and disbursements.
Greg Hirsch: Okay. Uh. Eh. Yeah. In-- in what, uh, capacity? In-- in what fashion?
Frank Vernon: You're in addendum of miscellaneous matters in pencil... with a question mark.
Greg Hirsch: Nevertheless.
Kendall Roy: Dad may have said he wanted me to take over.
Greg Hirsch: And so then, maybe the natural conclusion might perhaps be, I'd be his number two.
Frank Vernon: [laughs] Nice try, kid.
Roman Roy: He-- he probably wrote it down so he can remember your name.
Greg Hirsch: Hmm. We had a good rapport.
Roman Roy: You had a good rapport? I feel like he already wanted to see less of you. That's probably, like, 50/50, fire Greg or kill Greg.
Greg Hirsch: Mm. I think that it's not that kind of question mark. I think it's, uh, um, possibly-- It's a wonder.
Gerri Kellman: It's a doodle. We just wanted you to be aware.
Ron Petkus: Logan Roy was such a giant. He was a man of humility, grace, dignity.
Tom Wambsgans: [whispers] Who died fishing his iPhone from a clogged toilet.
Ron Petkus: In public, he was a great communicator.
Greg Hirsch: [whispers] Really?
[Tom softly nods his head]
Ron Petkus: A powerful man.
Greg Hirsch: [whispers] Oh, man.
Tom Wambsgans: [whispers] So they say. Karl blocked it.
Greg Hirsch: [whispers] No.
Tom Wambsgans: [whispers] The man lives on Wonder Bread and steak frites. He hadn't had a shit for 20 years.
Connor Roy: Can you believe this shit? He's trying to make Pop into a neoconservative. He wasn't a neocon, he was a paleolibertarian. He was practically an anarcho-capitalist.
Roman Roy: Yeah, sure. I mean, if you like Benny Hill and Sinatra, does that make you one of those things?

Kill List [4.05]

edit
Hugo Baker: Andreas? Hey, man!
Andreas Bloc: Hey.
Hugo Baker: Oh, wow. They-- they tell me that you nearly got a bronze at Sochi.
Andreas Bloc: Ah. [chuckles] Another lifetime, you know.
Hugo Baker: Yeah. Oh, man, that's... that's almost huge, man. You know? Those darn tenths of a second, huh? Tuck!
[Andreas awkwardly smiles and walks away, Hugo walks to Karolina]
Hugo Baker: Guy's a dick.
Lukas Matsson: Uh... [chuckles] Hey, guys. Uh... [sniffs] Are-- are you for real?
Kendall Roy: What?
Lukas Matsson: The movie. And what about these fucking press stories? [chuckles] Are you Scooby-Dooing me here? Is that where you went? Hanna-Barbera fucking business school? You're telling me the theme parks are haunted, your big movie is shitty? Are you tanking the deal?
Kendall Roy: No, man.
Roman Roy: No.
Kendall Roy: No. We're just being open.
Roman Roy: Hey, I was just thinking. Do you remember when you asked me when my dad was gonna die?
Lukas Matsson: Yeah, that was a joke, Roman.
Roman Roy: Uh-huh. You really couldn't push this a week, could you? You just couldn't like-- There was no part of you that could just be like, "Hey, let's reschedule and move this 'cause, you know, their dad just died and, you know." I mean, my sister's kinda-- She's fucked up about it, and my brother's a mess, and I'm fucking-- I'm gone. I'm like I'm on the fucking-- I'm dead. It's over for me. It's okay, it's fine. But you just drag us out here, you inhuman fucking dogman. You... Crazy.
Lukas Matsson: Easy, brother.
Roman Roy: You fucking killed him too. You're the one who did it. You just-- And you did. You drained the life out of him. You dragged this thing out for six fucking months, and then you bring us out here now. You couldn't wait like a few days. You actually couldn't do that for us. No idea, huh? God!
Lukas Matsson: This is good, Rome.
Roman Roy: Yeah, shut the fuck up, man. We're not selling to you. Okay? We're not doing that. We are gonna grind you down, man. We are sand in the gears. Every e-mail is gonna take like six months. We're all gonna spend hundreds of millions of dollars, and in the end, you're gonna get fucking bored and move on. It's not happening, okay?
Lukas Matsson: Really?
Roman Roy: Yeah. Yeah, I fucking hate you. And if you tell the board I said any of this, I'm just gonna say it was a negotiating tactic, and you know what? Maybe it is. But it's not. So fuck you.
Lukas Matsson: Oh, oh, wait, wait, wait. You just fucked yourself.
Roman Roy: Did I?
Lukas Matsson: Good.
Roman Roy: Really?
Lukas Matsson: Yeah. [chuckles]
Roman Roy: Good.
Hugo Baker: Congrats, congrats, congrats.
[glasses clinking]
Hugo Baker: What-- what-- what's going on there?
Gerri Kellman: I don't know.
Hugo Baker: What is that?
Gerri Kellman: It's--
Hugo Baker: Is that-- is that the kill list? It is, isn't it?
Karolina Novotney: Wait!
Gerri Kellman: It's just, uh, Jess managed...
Hugo Baker: Yeah, yes, it is.
Gerri Kellman: ...to get a hold of something. Um, uh, early draft. GoJo finance list of potential severance costs. It's highly provisional. It's-- it's caveated, subject to change. It would just be an interpretation.
Hugo Baker: Well, come on, Gerri. Don't leave us hanging. Who's on it?
Gerry Kellman: Okay, if you insist. In seemingly no particular order, um, just, uh, potentially surplus to requirements are... Ray.
Ray Kennedy: God fuckin' damn it.
Gerri Kellman: Mark.
Mark Rosenstock: Shit.
Gerri Kellman: Hugo.
Hugo Baker: That slalom motherfucker!
Gerri Kellman: Frank.
Frank Vernon: Naturally. It's just speculation.
Gerri Kellman: Karl.
Karl Muller: Let the good times roll.
Hugo Baker: Wait, wait. What-- wh-- what about Karolina?
Gerri Kellman: Um...
Karolina Novotney: Okay.
Gerri Kellman: She's... not on the list, so retained.
Karolina Novotney: Retained, okay.
Frank Vernon: And you?
Hugo Baker: Congratulations.
Karolina Novotney: Thank you.
Gerri Kellman: Uh, also not on the list.
Karl Muller: Tom? What about Tom? Tom-- Tom must be on the list.
Gerri Kellman: Mm.
Karl Muller: Oh, my God.
Gerri Kellman: I don't see him.
Hugo Baker: Great fucking trip. Highly fucking productive. So much for being raised by wolves.

Living+ [4.06]

edit
Roman Roy: Gerri, here's the fucking thing.
Gerri Kellman: What?
Roman Roy: You hauling me out of things, telling me to reconsider good calls, and using the F-word freely, it-- it feels... it feels disrespectful.
Gerri Kellman: Uh-huh.
Roman Roy: I need you... to believe that I am as good as my dad. Can you do that? Can you do that?
Gerri Kellman: Say it or believe it?
Tom Wambsgans: I think... I think I want you. I think I would like this back.
Shiv Roy: Well then, you... shouldn't have betrayed me. Phony.
Tom Wambsgans: If I try to say it. If I try to say the truth... It's that when I met you, all my life... I've been thinking a little bit about money... and how to get money, and how to... keep money. And you didn't ask me in. Shiv, you kept me out. And I always agreed to all the compartments but it seemed to me that I was gonna be caught between you... and your dad. And I really, really, really love my... career and my money. And, you know, the suits, and my watches, and...
Shiv Roy: [scoffs]
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah. Sure, I know. I like nice things, I do. And if you think that's shallow why don't you throw out all your stuff for love. Throw out all your necklaces and your jewels for a date at a three-star Italian. Yeah? Come and live with me in a trailer park. Yeah? Are you coming?
Shiv Roy: Well, I'd follow you anywhere for love, Tom Wambsgans.
Tom Wambsgans: [laughs]
Shiv Roy: [laughs]
[Tom and Shiv laugh together]
Kendall Roy: Hey, Karl.
Karl Muller: Yeah. Hi. Just-- Just to say good luck, huh?
Kendall Roy: Thanks, man.
Karl Muller: And, uh, just to get some visibility, if that's okay. I-- 'Cause I just heard that, uh, more tweaks have been made in my arena.
Kendall Roy: It's cool.
Karl Muller: Okay, well...
Kendall Roy: It is cool.
Karl Muller: ...if I could just take a quick, quick peek.
Kendall Roy: Karl, man, it's not a good time.
Karl Muller: Oh, then if you could just talk me through it. Just-- No, just so I'm comfortable in my own mind that I got your back.
Kendall Roy: It is all good, Karl.
Karl Muller: What we--
Kendall Roy: Okay? It's all good.
Karl Muller: We really need--
Kendall Roy: Now is not a good time.
Karl Muller: Just a sec. Hang on, just--
Kendall Roy: It's not a good time, Karl.
Karl Muller: Oh, really? Well, listen to me. I took a lot of shit from your dad because we've been through the mill. But I've been the CFO of major public companies for over two decades, and I know a thing or two about a thing or two. And if you fuck up his deal, or you try to stand up numbers that I am not comfortable with, I swear to God--
Kendall Roy: Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Easy. Easy. CEO. CFO.
Karl Muller: What? You gonna fire your chief financial officer a week in? Your dad just gone? [laughs] You'd be fucking toast. You have my dick in your hand, Ken. But I've got yours in mine. So let's get real. If you say anything that I don't like up there or make me look foolish, I'll fucking squeal.
[Kendall smiles and pats Karl's arm]
Karl Muller: Good luck. Good luck to you, buddy.
Kendall Roy: Big shoes. Big, big shoes.
[Audience laughs]
Kendall Roy: [laughs] Big, big shoes. Big, big shoes.
Roman Roy: Big shoes. Big hat. Big nervous breakdown.
Kendall Roy: We think... We think that security plus entertainment is a pretty unbeatable offer. Right? Well, one more thing. How about I told you it was all going to last forever?
Shiv Roy: Okay. Now we're leaving planet Earth. Glad you're not strapped in?
Hugo Baker: Oh, fuck! Fuck!
Shiv Roy: What?
Hugo Baker: Fuck! [shows Matsson tweet] "Doderick Macht Frei."
Roman Roy: That's a very nasty joke, right?
Karolina Novotney: Oh, shit.
Shiv Roy: Yeah. That's, what, a... it's a Holocaust joke.
Hugo Baker: Look who it's...
Karolina Novotney: From our acquirer...
Hugo Baker: Look who it's from.
Karolina Novotney: ...so we might need to strategize. Pull the Q and A. Can we let him know? Can we let Kendall know?
Hugo Baker: Fuck.
Karolina Novotney: Because he's about...
Shiv Roy: We should try.
Karolina Novotney: ...to base jump into a buzzsaw.
Hugo Baker: Right, right. [on phone call] Are-- are you backstage?
Greg Hirsch: [to Tom] This is kinda good for you 'cause your presentation, not great, and so now no one will be watching.
Tom Wambsgans: How am I supposed to follow this? He's just promised them eternal life.
Logan Roy: I wanna make what-- I think is-- fairly a historic-- announcement. I'm-- convinced-- that-- Roman Roy-- has-- a-- micro-- dick, and-- always-- gets it wrong.

Tailgate Party [4.07]

edit
Shiv Roy: The fuck is wrong with you?
Tom Wambsgans: You know, I just really do need to get some sleep. I really do. I'm sorry. Can we just leave it there? Please? Ok.
Shiv Roy: You're tired. I get it. You keep on fucking saying. So, yeah, you're tired.
Tom Wambsgans: Okay, okay, I'm tired. Let's leave it there.
Shiv Roy: [interjecting] Keep fucking telling everyone.
Tom Wambsgans: Okay, okay. I'll stop.
Shiv Roy: You're tired. I get it. I'm sorry. I'm just... you know, I am just worried about, you know... maybe I've nailed myself to the Matsson cross, and he might turn out to be bullshit. You know, he's erratic and... and... and... and... you know, maybe he isn't real.
Tom Wambsgans: Shiv, he's real. He's the future.
Shiv Roy: No, Tom. He... [pause] There is a time bomb in his numbers, and I might get blown up.
Tom Wambsgans: You'll be fine. You'll always be fine.
Shiv Roy: No. No, I am fucking my family for this.
Tom Wambsgans: Can I just say something? At this party here, there are maybe 40 of the most important people in America, and you have just walked all around, all evening, telling them all that I'm gonna get fired.
Shiv Roy: No, it was implied, lightly, as a little... god! Part of a tactical kind of joke.
Tom Wambsgans: Will you explain to me, uh, the joke? Because-
Shiv Roy: [interjecting] Oh, my God. Tom!
Tom Wambsgans: -I don't get the fucking joke. I don't get the joke.
Shiv Roy: It was something that he said, that isn't true, that we needed to say.
Tom Wambsgans: But you stood by his side, and he said it, and you were like, "Okay, well, that sounds good to me."
Shiv Roy: Fuck's sake. I'm not doing this right now. [pause] You know... I am in serious trouble. That was a play.
Tom Wambsgans: You will be okay because you are a tough fucking bitch who will always survive because you do what you need. You will do what-
Shiv Roy: [interjecting]Are you even listening? I will be okay?
Tom Wambsgans: You will do whatever you need.
Shiv Roy: Yeah?
Tom Wambsgans: [interjecting] Yeah.
Shiv Roy: Really? You sure you're not projecting. Because that is actually you.
[long pause]
Tom Wambsgans: Should we have a real conversation?
Shiv Roy: With a scorpion? No.
Tom : [interjecting] That was a friendly thing. That was a friendly thing.
Shiv Roy: Oh, yeah. Sure. Real friendly. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, no. Uh, I'm a scorpion. You're a hyena. You're a... You're a street rat. Actually, no. You're a fucking snake. "Here's a dead snake to wear as a necktie, Tom. Why aren't you laughing?"
[pause]
Tom Wambsgans: I wonder if we shouldn't clear the air.
Shiv Roy: Yeah?
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah.
Shiv Roy: Mm. Sure.
Tom Wambsgans: I think that you can be a very selfish person, and I think you find it very hard to think about me.
Shiv Roy: [interjecting] What the fuck?
Tom Wambsgans: And I think you shouldn't have even married me, actually.
Shiv Roy: What the fuck? What the actual fuck? You proposed to me. You proposed to me at my lowest fucking ebb. My dad was dying. What was I supposed to say?
Tom Wambsgans: Perhaps, "No"?
Shiv Roy: I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Tom Wambsgans: Oh thanks! Thanks for that! Yeah, you really kept me safe while you ran off to fuck the phone book.
Shiv Roy: Oh, fuck off. You're a hick.
Tom Wambsgans: And then...
Shiv Roy: Conservative hick.
Tom Wambsgans: And then... You hid it because you were so scared of how fuckin' awful you are.
Shiv Roy: You were only with me to get to power. Well, you got it now, Tom. You've got it!
Tom Wambsgans: [exasperated] I'm with you because I love you!
Shiv Roy: Bullshit. You're fucking me for my DNA. You were fucking me for a fucking ladder because your whole family is striving and parochial.
Tom Wambsgans: That's not... That's not a fair characterization. It's no-
Shiv Roy: Oh, no? Well, your mom loves me more than she loves you because she's cracked. You wanna... You wanna actually clear the air? Fine. You betrayed me.
Tom Wambsgans: You were going to see me get sent to fucking prison, Shiv! And then you fobbed me off with that fuckin' undrinkable wine, and you won't have my baby because you never even thought, honestly, that you'd be with me more than, like, four fuckin' years, I don't think!
Shiv Roy: You offered to go to jail, Tom! You offered because you're servile! You're just... You're servile!
Tom Wambsgans: You are incapable of thinking about anybody other than yourself 'cause your sense of who you are, Shiv, is that fuckin' thin!
Shiv Roy: Oh, yeah?
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah.
Shiv Roy: You read that in a book, Tom?
Tom Wambsgans: You're too fuckin' transparent to find in a book!
Shiv Roy: You're pathetic. You're pathetic. You're a masochist, and you can't even take it.
Tom Wambsgans: I think that you are incapable of love. And I think that you are maybe not [pause] a good person to have children!
[pause]
Shiv Roy: Well, that's not very nice to say, is it?
Tom Wambsgans: I'm sorry. I'm sorry... But you... You... You have hurt me more than you can possibly imagine.
Shiv Roy: And you, you took away the last six months I could've had with my dad.
Tom Wambsgans: No.
Shiv Roy: Yes.
Tom Wambsgans: No!
Shiv Roy: Yes. You sucked up to him, and you cut me out!
Tom Wambsgans: It's not my fault that you didn't get his approval. I have given you endless approval, and it doesn't fill you up because you're broken.
Shiv Roy: [sniffles] I don't like you. I don't... I don't even care about you. I don't care. Have we cleared the air, huh? Feel good now?
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah.
Shiv Roy: Yeah.
Tom Wambsgans: Fuckin' great.
Shiv Roy: Uh-huh.
Tom Wambsgans: Tip-top.
Shiv Roy: You don't deserve me. And you never did. [pause] And everything came out of that. Oof! So fu- fucking flat. [sighs]

America Decides [4.08]

edit
Greg Hirsch: Here we go. The 5:00 p.m. All good?
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah, I'm good, Greg, considering it's my first post-Logan election, and I have Cyd, uh, running around town, spitting poison like a fucking King Cobra with an iPhone. I have, uh, PGN to the left of me, I have FVA to the right. I gotta deliver the best election numbers ever 'cause my bosses wanna rip my heart out as a peace offering...
Greg Hirsch: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Tom Wambsgans: ...to all comers. So, no, Greg. You know, I'm a little bit tense. Just a little bit. Little tense.
Greg Hirsch: Well, yeah, I'm feeling pretty good.
Tom Wambsgans: Information, Greg. It's like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion. And then you smash someone's fucking face in with it.
Roman Roy: Busy, busy. Hello, hello! Look at you! Losing it, like a massive fucking loser.
Jeryd Mencken: Yeah. Well, I blame you. Couldn't deliver Connor, huh?
Roman Roy: Whoops.
Jeryd Mencken: ATN scared to run all the fraud?
Roman Roy: Well, I keep my hands out, you know? Fuck you. What is this? 'Cause, you know, I'm quite busy.
Jeryd Mencken: Oh, you're busy?
Roman Roy: Yes, I am busy. I don't run around town like some fucking food-bike guy, you know?
Jeryd Mencken: Yeah. Just, uh, wanted to say a couple things. [clears throat]
Roman Roy: Yeah?
Jeryd Mencken: Very directly. [sighs] We still think we can win.
Roman Roy: Sure.
Jeryd Mencken: But... I am very focused on losing.
Roman Roy: [chuckles] All right.
Jeryd Mencken: Winning is easy. Winning would take care of itself.
Roman Roy: Sure.
Jeryd Mencken: But if I lose... I need to work on what assholes would call "the narrative."
Roman Roy: Uh-huh. Uh, like uh, "insurgent campaign, unfairly maligned as extremist by the coastal masturbation factories."
Jeryd Mencken: Exactly. If I lose, I want it correctly characterized as a huge victory. Over-performed, huh?
Roman Roy: Mm-hmm.
Jeryd Mencken: I want to be the president. I want you to... be a partner in that, and if it isn't tonight, it will be next time.
Roman Roy: Even if you're not going to be the president, you're going to be our president.
Jeryd Mencken: Exactly. You, me, we'll go far.
Roman Roy: Over the road and into the bar.
Greg Hirsch: So, listen, at some point tonight could we do a chat, uh, in terms of the-- the me of things, and, like, how to play it? Because Matsson, he treated me quite abominably, but it felt, like, trusting and he was saying a lot of things, and--
Tom Wambsgans: Okay, okay. Enough, enough, enough. Where's my coffee?
Greg Hirsch: Tom, I don't do coffee anymore--
Tom Wambsgans: No, Greg! Greg, I have to be clear. I have to. If I get drowsy, and I miscall Colorado, instability, right? Then the U.S. loses credibility, China spots an opportunity and invades Taiwan. Tactical nukes. Fucking shit goes kablooey and we're back to amoeba. It's a long way back from pond life, 'cause you failed to get me a double shot, okay?
Kendall Roy: Who's responsible? That's the story, right? Who burnt this place down?
Roman Roy: Eh, to me, it always comes down to a couple of old favorites, the Blacks or the Jews.
[Tom, Darwin, and Greg snap their heads towards Roman]
Roman Roy: I'm kidding. It's a fucking joke.
Shiv Roy: Come on in.
Greg Hirsch: Yeah.
[Shiv closes door]
Greg Hirsch: So...
Shiv Roy: Yeah, just wanted to check in. You know? It's been busy. So...
Greg Hirsch: Right. Yeah, on election day.
Shiv Roy: Yeah. Yeah. So, how was your night, last night, with Lukas?
Greg Hirsch: Shiv, I... I went for a drink with him. That-- that's not my fault.
Shiv Roy: Uh-huh. Do you find me attractive, Gregory?
Greg Hirsch: I don't th... think of things such as that.
Shiv Roy: Oh. Oh, I thought you were a "disgusting brother." Is that-- was that too disgusting for you?
Greg Hirsch: This is not appropriate. [chuckles] It's...
Shiv Roy: Uh-huh.
Greg Hirsch: Yeah, I, uh... I'm... Sorry, I don't--
Shiv Roy: 'Cause I'm just letting you know... that if you try to fuck me... I'll kill you. Mm-hmm?
Greg Hirsch: Mm-hmm, got it. Got it. Sorry, yeah. I guess my-- my only question... would be, if-- if anything did come to pass, in terms of you and he... you know, silence is golden.
Shiv Roy: Hmm.
Greg Hirsch: Like how golden?
Shiv Roy: Uh-huh.
Greg Hirsch: Is there an offer?
Shiv Roy: Yeah. Uh, yeah. How about I offer for you to keep all your internal organs on your insides rather than I pull them out your asshole? [opens door] Go on. You're lumber. Keep your snout out.
Willa Ferreyra: Do you really wanna?
Connor Roy: Slovenia, Willa.
Willa Ferreyra: Mm-hmm. I mean, I am torn, and he's very... right-wing. But, Vienna for lunch, Venice for dinner.
Connor Roy: And Dubrovnik for breakfast.
Roman Roy: How was that call? What'd you get? Whole bunch of not much?
Kendall Roy: Really?
Shiv Roy: What?
Kendall Roy: "I think you're a good guy"?
Shiv Roy: Uh, well... [scoffs] I found it hard to get Nate, so I summarized some impressions.
Kendall Roy: Oh, right, right, right. Smart. Really good, Shiv. But you lied.
Shiv Roy: Oh... [mumbles]
Kendall Roy: Right? She didn't get anything from Nate.
Roman Roy: Really?
Kendall Roy: She didn't speak to Nate. And she's in with Matsson.
Shiv Roy: Mm...
Roman Roy: Sorry, what?
Shiv Roy: No, I... [scoffs] No. No. I-- I-- I-- I did what we all agreed to, that I got close to him so that I could help--
Kendall Roy: Shiv's fucking us. Right--
Roman Roy: Wow!
Kendall Roy: Right, Shivy?
Shiv Roy: No. No! No, no, no. I-- I-- I-- I-- I-- I--
Kendall Roy: "I-- I-- I-- I-- I-- I-- I-- I-- I--"
Shiv Roy: ...was...
Kendall Roy: I fucking asked you some real questions, Shiv. I wondered why you looked like a goose trying to shit a house brick, you piece of dirt.
Jeryd Mencken: Uh, well... It's now clear I have won sufficient electoral votes to be declared the next President of the United States, and I find the responsibility awesome! Now, I know there is something left to contest, but votes have been cast; votes have been tallied. On another day, in another time, they might have fallen in another fashion. The election has been called for me by an authority of known integrity. [...] To my critics, I am not a demagogue. I am a defender of democracy. But democracy, it has this tendency that we have to beware to become mere transaction. I give you this. You give me that. I come begging for your vote. Welfare checkbook out. Crowning the welfare kings and queens till everyone has become little tyrants crowned by the state. The model that I follow isn't from the scorched marketplace where cunning men haggle for the best price. That's not me. The democracy I believe in is where a leader emerged from the people, willed almost into being, brought forth by the great sweetness of the virtue of the combined wisdom of the good people of this republic. Don't we long sometimes for something clean once in this polluted land? That's what I hope to bring. Not something grubby with compromise. Something clean and true and refreshing. Something proud and pure.
Roman Roy: We just made a night of good TV. That's what we've done. Nothing happens.
Shiv Roy: Things do happen, Rome.

Church and State [4.09]

edit
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Kerry? It is Kerry, isn't it?
Kerry Castellabate: Yeah. [chuckles]
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Not Kelly? Yeah. Um, why don't you come and sit with us?
Kerry Castellabate: Um... yeah, uh... yeah. Are you-- you're s-- you're sure that's okay?
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Absolute-- Who-- Who is this?
Kerry Castellabate: Oh, um, this is my brother. And, uh... uh, my friend. Sorry.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Hello. Just going to steal her away. She'll be safe with me.
Kerry Castellabate: Uh. My-- my friend, um, who's a l-- l-- who's a lawyer so that I thought that there might be an issue in terms of entry... or something.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Sweet. Are you all right?
Kerry Castellabate: Yeah. I'm okay.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Sally-Anne!
Sally-Anne: Caroline? Hello.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Hello. This is Kerry. Sally-Anne.
Kerry Castellabate: Hi.
Sally-Anne: Hi, Kerry.
Kerry Castellabate: Hi.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Come and meet Marcia.
Sally-Anne: Yes.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Marcia. This is Sally-Anne.
Sally-Anne: Hello, Marcia.
Marcia Roy: Bonjour.
Lady Caroline Collingwood: Sally-Anne was my Kerry, so to speak. So, it's all water under the bridge now, innit? Should we go and pile in? [...] God, Logan would hate this.
Marcia Roy: At least he won't grind his teeth tonight.
Ewan Roy: Good morning. [...] What sort of people would stop a brother speaking for the sake of a share price? [...] It is not for me to judge my brother. History will tell that story. I can just give you a couple of instances about him. You probably all know we came across, the first time, during the war, for our safety. But the engines of our ship let go... and the rest of the convoy sailed on without us, leaving us adrift. They told us... They told us children... that if we spoke, or coughed, or moved an inch, that the U-boats would catch the vibrations through the hull, and we would die in the drink, right there in the hold. Three nights and two days, we stayed quiet. A four-year-old and a five-and-a-half year old speaking with our eyes. So... there's a little sob story. [clears throat] And, uh, once we were over, our uncle, who was... so to speak, "a character," he, um... Well, they-- they had a little money, and they sent Logan away to a better school, and he hated it. [chuckles] He just hated it. He wasn't, uh... He wasn't well. He was sick. And he mewed, and he cried, and in the end, he got out and came home under his own steam. But when he got back, our little sister, she was a baby, but she was there by then... She, uh... He always believed that he brought home the polio with him, which took her. I don't even know if that's true. But our aunt and uncle certainly did nothing to disabuse him of that notion. They let it lie with him. I... loved him, I suppose. And I suppose some of you did too, in whatever way he would let us and we could manage. [sniffles] But I can't help but say... he has wrought the most terrible things. [...] He was a man who has, here and there, drawn in the edges of the world. Now and then, darkened the skies a little, closed men's hearts. Fed that dark flame in men, the hard, mean, hard, relenting flame that keeps their hearths warm while another grows cold, their grain stashed while another goes hungry. And even has the temerity to tell that hard... [chuckles] ...funny, yes, funny, but hard joke about the man in the cold. You can get a little high, a little mighty, when you're warm. Oh, yes, he-- he gave away a few million of his billions, but he was not a generous man. He was mean, and he made but a mean estimation of the world. And he fed a certain kind of meagerness in men. Perhaps he had to, because he had a meagerness about him... and maybe I do about me, too. I don't know. I try. I try. I don't know when... but some time, he decided not to try anymore. And it was a terrible shame. Godspeed, my brother. And God bless.

With Open Eyes [4.10]

edit
Tom Wambsgans: How was your seabass? Those, uh, those cod cheeks were a worthy opponent.
Lukas Matsson: Hmm. No, it was-- it was fine. Sometimes, I feel like every fish in the city is the same piece of Xeroxed branzino. You know?
Tom Wambsgans: Totally, totally. Yeah, I think we may have been badly advised. I think Greg fucked it.
Waiter: Fini, messieurs?
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah.
Lukas Matsson: Merci beaucoup. [chuckles]
Tom Wambsgans: Man.
Lukas Matsson: How do you feel about, uh, soft pitching me? On Tom.
Tom Wambsgans: Oh.
Lukas Matsson: Just, you know, the main slide.
Tom Wambsgans: On me? As in my value to keep me? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I can sing for my supper. [chuckles] Uh, well, no. Um. So, yeah, as a manager, I think, you know, I'm-- I'm simple. You know, I squeeze the costs and juice the revenue. Follow the boss. You know, I, uh, digest strategy and implement. Like, for, you know, cruises, for example, is shit-gobbling and firefighting.
Lukas Matsson: Num, num, num, num, num.
Tom Wambsgans: Yes. [chuckles] And ATN is money. You know, I'm cutting heads and harvesting eyeballs. It's pretty... Yeah, pretty simple really. I give the customer what he wants. I don't think it's my place to offer dietary advice. You know, if they want red meat and boiling tar, then... buon appetito. Right?
Lukas Matsson: [chuckles] And on a hang level, who would you say you are?
Tom Wambsgans: Who am I? Um... Huh. That's a good one. [laughs] I'm a grinder. I grind 'cause I worry. I worry all night about everything. All the, uh, threats to... to me and to my, um... [clears throat] ...my division and my physical body. And I... I, uh, I have an excess of vigilance, I think, and I have a very, very high tolerance for pain and physical discomfort.
Lukas Matsson: Can I-- can I be frank with you? Can-- can you be discreet?
Tom Wambsgans: Fuck yeah. [clears throat]
Lukas Matsson: So, the thing is, um, with Shiv, uh... And with the votes coming up and all, can we keep this, like, close to our chests until I know my numbers?
Tom Wambsgans: Oh, sure.
Lukas Matsson: I think it's all fine. It's just I... [sighs] I have this thing with-- with her, um, which is like... Like is it-- is it a bit too much? You know?
Tom Wambsgans: Okay. The cartoon?
Lukas Matsson: No. Fuck the cart-- That was funny. I enjoyed that. No. She was kinda pushy on the India tactics. And at first, I thought family continuity would be an upside. You know?
Tom Wambsgans: Mm-hmm.
Lukas Matsson: But... She-- she is... She is smart. But... I got plenty of ideas, okay? I don't know if I need more ideas. I was in need a little bit of the political connection, you know, but it turns out it's fucking easy. [chuckling] It really is, you know? And with Ebba, and blah. blah, blah. It's... I know everything. Okay?
Tom Wambsgans: You do. I think you-- I mean, you do, man.
Lukas Matsson: I do.
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah. [chuckles]
Lukas Matsson: Yeah. Plus, with Shiv, there's also... You know, um... She... [chuckles] She's somewhat...
Tom Wambsgans: [chuckles]
Lukas Matsson: Um... We're a bit clickety-clickety, if you know what I'm saying.
Tom Wambsgans: Right. Like...
Lukas Matsson: A little bit... I wanna fuck her, um, a-- a little bit. And I think, under... Sorry to get weird, but, like, the right circumstances... she... I think she'd fuck me, too.
Tom Wambsgans: Uh-huh.
Lukas Matsson: Is this making you uncomfortable? I'm sorry if it's weird, or...
Tom Wambsgans: No, no. We're men.
Lukas Matsson: Yeah, I can't deal with the mess of that, you know? So then I was thinking, "Well, if I can have fucking anyone in the world..." [chuckles] "...why don't I get the guy who put the baby inside her instead of the baby lady?" Yeah? Just...
Tom Wambsgans: Right. Right. Well... I could do it.
Lukas Matsson: 'Cause...
Tom Wambsgans: I could definitely, easily, definitely do it.
Lukas Matsson: I need an American 'cause I don't wanna scare the horses. ATN being the-- the profit center. Mencken likes you, if that happens, you know? You, um... You're fucking talented. So, uh... But also, honestly... I'm not looking for a partner. You know? I'm looking for a front man.
Tom Wambsgans: Mm-hmm.
Lukas Matsson: 'Cause, um... we're gonna cut shit close to the bone. We're gonna get right fucking in there. It's gonna get nasty. Uh... So I need a pain sponge... when I'm under the hood doing... [growls] ...what I love, you know?
Tom Wambsgans: Sure.
Lukas Matsson: That's kind of what I'm after. So, would that be a problem?
Tom Wambsgans: Nah. No, man. Nah. I could do it.
Lukas Matsson: Logan Mark II. Only this time he's fucking sexy! [laughs]
Lukas Matsson: All right, wake up, zombies! Time to activate. Come on! Phones! I wanna see some fucking phones!
Siobhan Roy: I love you. I... Really, I love you. But I cannot fucking stomach you.
Kendall Roy: Let's hit-- let's hit Frank.
Roman Roy: [laughs]
Kendall Roy: Let's offer Frank. We can-- We can still do this.
Roman Roy: Bullshit, man. Come on, it's fucking nothing. Stop.
Kendall Roy: No, there-- there's something here. There's an angle.
Roman Roy: No, no. It's fuck all, man. It's bits of glue and broken shows, fucking phony news. Fucking... Come on.
Kendall Roy: We have this. We can still do this, man.
Roman Roy: Oh my God, Man, it's nothing. Okay? It's just nothing. It's fucking nothing. Stop it!
Kendall Roy: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Roman Roy: Yeah. Hey, we are bullshit.
Kendall Roy: We are not bullshit.
Roman Roy: We are bullshit. You are bullshit. You're fucking bullshit, man. I'm fucking bullshit. She's bullshit. It's all fucking nothing, man. I'm telling you this because I-- I know it, okay? We're nothing. Okay. Okay.
Kendall Roy: Hey. So, uh, pardon me. Um, where are we?
Frank Vernon: Ken.
Kendall Roy: I was thinking maybe we-- that we should maybe, uh, adjourn the meeting and-- and re-- uh, re... Uh...
Frank Vernon: Ken. Ken, it's done. Seven-six. We sell to GoJo. You don't have it.
[Watching Tom and his entourage approach as he is about to become CEO]
Frank Vernon: So, what are you thinking? Golden Parachute?
Karl Muller: Or one last rodeo?
Frank Vernon: Go on.
Karl Muller: What do you think?
Frank Vernon: I'm thinking we shoulda slit his throat in the cradle.
Karl Muller: Well, goes without saying.
Hugo Baker: Hey, man. Great one. The losers never triumph. I was always hoping, you know? So, uh, let's chat. I got you.
Tom Wambsgans: Where's Karolina?
Hugo Baker: Karolina?
Tom Wambsgans: Mm-hmm.
Hugo Baker: She's, um...
[Hugo turns his head towards her, and swivels it back to Tom, who then signals Hugo to leave]
Greg Hirsch: I just-- I just wanted to say congrats.
Tom Wambsgans: Thanks.
Greg Hirsch: And yeah. So...
[Greg and Tom shake hands]
Board Member: Tom. Just phenomenal.
[They shake hands]
Tom Wambsgans: Hey. Pastures new, right?
Board Member: Yes, it is.
Tom Wambsgans: This is it.
[Tom shakes hands with another board member]
Greg Hirsch: Yeah, so how's it all looking?
Tom Wambsgans: Uh-huh.
[awkward pause]
Greg Hirsch: Plans? Planning?
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah, I wanna talk to Gerri. Yeah, Gerri gets it. She's not afraid of the dark.
Greg Hirsch: And who else?
Tom Wambsgans: Frank, dead. Karl, dead. I really don't need those two old cunts on my shoulder.
[Greg gives Tom a desperate stare]
Tom Wambsgans: You? You fucked it, man. Quad man. Matsson hates you. Wants a clean-out.
Greg Hirsch: Fuck.
Tom Wambsgans: You are a fucking piece of shit. [pause] But I got you. I got just enough capital.
[Tom affixes one of the stickers from Connor's auction onto Greg's forehead]
Tom Wambsgans: I got you.
Lukas Matsson: Jesus and his disciples. [points at Greg] Even-- Even Judas is in the room.

Cast

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